ML Interest Tag: refuse

I Resolve to Stop Rushing My Kids

By Melissa Heckscher

We were late again.

The daily morning chaos had unfurled in all its glory: Oldest Child was refusing to eat breakfast (this time because of a newly erupted canker sore); Middle Child was lackadaisically searching the house for his shoes, which would inevitably be found a full five minutes later right by the door. Youngest Child, always barefoot, was insisting we find her Aurora doll before we leave.

And there I was, just willing them to hurry up, like usual. Standing against the doorway holding three backpacks, three winter coats, and a pair of toddler boots, I waited.

“We’re going to be late!” I called.

“Come on!” I yelled.

“Let’s go!” I insisted.

Eventually, the three of them ambled downstairs and shuffled out the door, the two older boys bickering with each other about something I didn’t have the patience to decipher. And when Middle Child whimpered something about being late, I shrugged my shoulders and said, “It is what it is. Next time we’ll do it differently.”

And we will. Because as of that moment, I decided that I’m done rushing my kids around.

At least, I’m going to try. Because what good does it do? Sure, in this instance, we might have made it to school on time. But isn’t it better to just accept that we’re late and face the inevitable consequences (in this case, a tardy slip and an embarrassing solo walk into the classroom)? Isn’t the best solution to figure out a way to get them out the door earlier? To leave room for dawdling because, well, that’s just what kids do?

Experts agree. In this Psychology Today article by Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, she says that rushing our children “interrupts their developmental work of exploring the world, so they lose their curiosity.” She also says that hurrying kids from one place to another can “habituate them to busyness.”

In other words, they’ll be bored with life at a regular pace. Furthermore, rushing them can also cause anxiety. They’re human after all, and always feeling like you’re going to be late is stressful for anyone, big or little.

Kids don’t rush. They probably don’t get why we grownups always do. For a kid, walking to school is a time to explore (even if you’re late). Leaving the playground is still, after all, time at a playground (even if Mom is ready to go). Getting in and out of the car is a time to dawdle (even if it makes Mom crazy). Simply: life is for living.

It’s us grownups who have it wrong.

Last week my three-year-old threw a tantrum because I wouldn’t let her stop and visit our next-door neighbor when we pulled into our driveway at the end of the day. And yesterday she wanted me to chase a woman halfway down our block because she wanted to pet her doggie. I said no both times because I just wanted to go inside and put everything down (the backpacks, half-eaten snacks, and trash that I’m always fishing out of the car at the end of the day). Meanwhile, if we had done it her way, we would have strengthened our friendships with the neighbors and maybe made a new friend.

Today, I tried it differently. On the last few blocks of our way to school, I let my daughter get out of the stroller. It sounds like it shouldn’t be a big deal, but we’ve got a mile-long walk to school—if she walked it, we’d have to leave at sunrise.

At first, she held my hand, and we walked together. This is nice, I thought. I can do this. Then, she broke free. She leaped onto the grass. She hopped atop a low garden wall and walked, balance-beam-st‌yle, the whole length of it, her arms stretched out like a poised gymnast. She stopped to pick flowers, handing me one and saying, “Mommy, will you marry me?” (because she thinks that’s what people do when they get married). In short, she did what kids are supposed to do, which is to simply delight in the world.

And even amid the adorableness of it all, even while I knew that this was the right way to mother her, I felt my bubbling impatience, my desire to hurry. But I held it in. I tried to be there with her because she deserved to enjoy every inch of that walk. Every moment.

This isn’t all to say it’s okay to let our kids be irresponsible or that it’s okay to be late to school. But we parents need to give them more time to get there. More time to find their shoes, pick flowers, tie their own laces, or zip their own jackets so we don’t get frustrated and take those learning experiences from them.

“Rushing costs us,” Markham says on her blog. “It stresses us out, so we enjoy our children less. It makes us less patient, so it’s hard to feel good about our parenting.” So how do we do it? Here are six things I’m going to try:

Leave more time for transitions

Leave for school or activities at least 15 minutes early to give kids the ability to take their time.

Make park dates longer

Try to make your playground visits last. If we only block out a half-hour for a playground visit, our kids will probably be resistant to leave (and we’ll end up frustrated). Stay longer, so kids are ready to go when it’s time.

Shift the evening schedule earlier

This one is going to be hard for us because our evenings with three little ones are pure chaos. But I figure if we have dinner at 5 p.m., we can get our kids to bed by 6:30 or 7 p.m., which will give them an hour or two to read or play in their rooms before lights out (and before I totally lose it).

Find time for quiet

Teach kids the value of slowing down by planning time for quiet moments. Go watch the sunset. Color in silence. Lay on the grass and look at the clouds. Sometimes, it’s those silent moments that speak the loudest.

Take leisurely walks

You’d be surprised how much fun kids can have just walking around the block. Let them explore. Let them linger. Smell flowers. Play in the leaves. Let them enjoy the world around them and try to suppress any desire to say, “Come on” or “We have to go.” See how long it takes them to move on naturally.

Be in the moment with them

In those moments when it’s hard to wait, try to stop and see what your children are seeing. Try to find the fun where they find it. Maybe—if we’re lucky—we can learn a little something.

Melissa Heckscher is a writer and mother of three living in Los Angeles. She is a former staff writer for the Los Angeles Newspaper Group and the author of several books, including,The Pregnancy Test: 150 Important, Embarrassing, and Slightly Neurotic Questions (Quirk Books, 2011). 

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Giving Kids Choices: The Parent’s Guide

By Amy Webb

Photo: pixabay

If you are the parent of a young child you know that choices make up a big part of your parenting vocabulary on a daily basis. All the parenting “advice” out there says to offer your toddlers a choice between two options to help them feel empowered and perhaps prevent some meltdowns. For example, you might say, “Sally, would you like to wear the purple socks or the white socks?” This, of course, is a method to prevent the unheard third option of the child refusing to wear socks at all.

I do this often with my kids and it does work…most of the time. Over the years, however, I have learned that offering choices to my kids can sometimes backfire. They get used to the idea that they have a lot of input into how we will progress through the course of the day. As adults, we know that this does not always work. Sometimes we have to go to the grocery store or the doctor’s office and there is no choice in the matter.

This caused me to wonder if having too many choices can actually be paralyzing to kids. We have all had the experience of going to a shoe store or clothing store and tried to pick out items for our child. If you have your young child with you and give them some input in the choices, you know this can go downhill fast. The thought of getting something new coupled with a dizzying array of choices can cause many kids to meltdown quickly. In our affluent society, there are so many choices of things like clothes and shoes that kids are simply overwhelmed.

This idea came to mind as I was listening to a podcast the other day and it was all about the science of choice. Not something we think of too often. After years of studying how people make choices and how their choices affect their happiness, psychologists have found one thing to be clear—people are actually happier when they have less freedom to change their choice.

Researchers conducted a study in which photography students were told, after working for months on their photographs, that they could only pick one to take home and one to leave at the school. One group was told that they could switch the one they took home at any time. Another group was told their choice was final—they could not switch which photo they took home and which they left. What the researchers found was that the group who had to make an irrevocable choice were actually happier with their choice months later.

Why is this? Psychologist think that it is because we rationalize the choice we make when we know it is final. On the other hand, if we have in the back of our minds that we can switch our choice, we always doubt whether we made the right one.

It seems counterintuitive but I think there is a kernel of truth in this that can help us with parenting young children too. Choices are good, but they must also have boundaries attached to them. Young children do need to feel empowered to choose, but the choices must be limited in some way. Given too many choices, young children go from feeling empowered to feeling out of control.

To my mind, this is the essence of authoritative parenting. Children are given choices, at the right developmentally appropriate time and within certain boundaries. As children grow, authoritative parents provide increasing chances for kids to test their decision-making skills, but the parents are always there to provide the firm boundary beyond which the child cannot go. It’s no surprise that authoritative parenting is what in research is associated with the best outcomes for kids.

Authoritative parents provide some choices, but the choices are limited based on what is best for the child at a certain age. For example, they may allow an older child the choice to walk to a neighborhood park or a neighbor friend’s house, but they may not leave the neighborhood to go anywhere else. This gives the child some sense of empowerment, but firm boundaries on what the expected behavior will be. If the boundaries are crossed, then the opportunity to make choices goes away and the child stays at home.

Sometimes psychology seems like common sense, but other times the research conducted in labs actually reveals something that is counterintuitive, but that can really help us in our daily lives. This research on choice really helps us understand that for both kids and adults choices can be good, but certain boundaries on them can actually be helpful.

Amy is a scholar turned stay-at-home mom of two young boys. When she's not stepping on Legos, she writes at The Thoughtful Parent. With this blog she brings child development research into the lives of parents in the trenches of child-rearing.

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They Said the Days Would Go by Fast

By Krissy Dieruf

Photo: Photo by Jenn Evelyn-Ann on Unsplash

Yesterday, for the first time in 10 years, all three of my children went to day camp. Feelings of terror and excitement flooded through me watching them climb the bus one at a time and disappear into the tall rows of forest green leather seats. My youngest is four and I wondered if he would be okay. I reassured myself the camp has a specific group for his age, with trained counselors. He will be fine. Then I went home and looked at the clock. It was only 9:00 a.m. and I would not return to the bus stop until 4:00 p.m. to pick them up. I had seven whole hours in front of me to fill.

I swear I heard birds chirping outside my window, I saw the sun shining (even though admittedly the clouds were a bit heavy that morning). I couldn’t wait to dig into my options: the jobs, projects, ideas, cleaning, organizing, shopping, writing, reading, napping, everything I had compiled on my “To-Do List” for the last ten years since my first child came into the world. Nothing has been done since that day. And now, it was time.

But where to start? The list is so long! I had not a second to waste and yet all I wanted to do was turn on my favorite show and sit with my coffee, not moving a muscle. I looked around at the few little piles of toys and clothes and dirty dishes, small enough not to feel messy, but enough in the corners to make our home feel cluttered. They have been sitting there in different shapes and ways but present somewhere for the last ten years.

Did it happen? I wondered to myself. Did the days of babies and diapers, sippy cups and tantrums, mama pick me up’s, naps and refusing to nap days finally pass me by? They said it would happen, people out in public, random strangers, older relatives, they all said it. At the grocery store with one kid on my leg, one screaming in the cart, while the third chants in a British accent, “We’re panicking! We’re panicking!” a well-intentioned stranger seeing the actual panic in my eyes as I darted through aisles grabbing random boxes off the shelves would cheerily say, always, “These days will go by fast!” I hated them saying it because I didn’t care. The days were long and hard. Parenting small children is like living in a fog of overwhelming joy, excruciating fear, and overall survival (yours and theirs). Yet, as they grow, the fog lifts little by little until one day you send them off for the whole day and you realize you can see again. The days did not go by fast, but they did, apparently, go by.

Now, here I am sitting by myself at my kitchen table in silence savoring a dreamy cup of coffee. I can see clearly for a few hours. Just as it was at the camp bus stop, it feels exciting and terrifying at the same time. It is a new era, having big kids. They have been little for so long, it’s all I’ve known, the thick time-consuming hands-on seconds of every day. They are dwindling, and while I will miss them, I honestly cannot wait for the next phase. The one where they keep getting on the school bus every day and I am left for a few beautiful hours to do the things I have set aside for the last ten years. I will never get those little years back. And while they have been messy and wholly disorganized, I know they have been beautifully lived with giggles and smiles and play days. They have been relaxed and lazy and adventurous. Creative, intuitive, and open to the world around them, my kids have hopefully learned among the piles and dust that life isn’t about being perfect. It is about spending time, not orchestrating time. Making things up on the fly, not scheduling days down to the minute. Life is about living in the moment, not worrying about how it looks to everyone else.

The camp is only one week. They will still come home at the end of each day and need me. I will be refreshed and ready. The next ten years will still be about raising these little rebels into responsible capable people, they are not on their own just yet. But for this week, I am happy to soak up the precious hours of quiet, and I might try to clean at least a little bit in between my coffee breaks. Truthfully, as much as I am reveling in the calm of their absence, I can’t wait for them to pile off the bus again and tell me everything they did while they were gone.

Krissy Dieruf is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She lives in Minnesota with her husband and three children, loves to sing and dance around the house and has a soft spot for rebels and crazy hair. 

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How to Win the Battle against Picky Eaters

By Cliff Lyles

It’s not uncommon for parents to worry when their child begins showing signs of picky eating. As the Executive Chef at Revolution Foods, the nation’s leading school meal provider, I experience picky eating all the time. That said, I wanted to share my go-to methods when in combat.

Let’s start with what creates a picky eater. For some kids it’s texture, for others it’s their sensitive palate, but generally, it’s that their parents are picky eaters themselves. When parents are set in their ways about anything, it encourages their children to do the same. If this is the case, you may be unaware that your child is experiencing picky eating. Some typical picky eating behaviors that you may have noticed in your child include:

  • Refusing food because of its color or texture
  • Choosing a couple foods he or she likes and refusing to eat anything else
  • Spending time at the table doing anything but eating

The good news? These behaviors are all very normal and will fade with growth. In the meantime, try the below tricks to help keep your child’s pallet and nutrition on track for a happy, healthy future.

1. Use their habitual nature to your advantage.

Kids and adults are similar in the sense that they can be habitual and trusting of restaurants that they already know they’re going to like. You can use this tendency of theirs to your advantage when getting them to try new things. If your child is already comfortable with the chicken tenders and the mac n cheese from a restaurant, they’ll be more easily convinced that the grilled chicken salad might be trustworthy, too.

This restaurant tactic can also be utilized if you’re facing the issue of your child resenting you when it comes to trying new foods. When you make healthy eating a chore by insisting kids remain at the table until their peas are gone, it’s in their nature to rebel and put up barriers. When a fancy new meal is being delivered by a chef, however, they’ll be much more inclined to give it a go.

2. Let them play.

Use their playful imagination and create edible artwork to combat their pickiness. Animal-shaped foods and pops of color are going to motivate kids to try anything and everything you put in front of them. Adding a rainbow of veggies to your child’s plate might make them more excited to dig in and less inclined to hide them in their napkins, and as a result, you’ll also be filling them with vitamins and minerals that they may have been previously lacking.

3. Don’t feel bad about getting sneaky.

Creating dishes that contain hidden healthy ingredients inside is another great trick to get kids to try new foods. If you know they like fruit, whip up a smoothie with added veggies and protein. This is a great way to ensure kids are getting the nutrients they need, but since we’re talking about picky eaters, a best practice is to ensure they’re watching you put the “good” ingredients in. Their ears will perk up when they see you add in all of their favorite fruits and yogurt, and your days of persuading will be behind you.

4. And lastly, be patient.

Let’s refer back to my first point here: don’t worry! Just because your child starts off as a picky eater, doesn’t mean they’re going to stay that way. Kids tastes evolve as they grow. As a chef, the goal for me is to allow a picky eater to be relatively picky as long as I can see that they’re slowly expanding their horizons. Their friends come in handy this way; the different foods kids see their friends eating and enjoying will help them grow their pallet naturally.

Companies like Revolution Foods also comes in handy when it comes to giving kids that gentle push to expand their horizons. They intentionally craft culturally and regionally relevant menus to deliver great-tasting meals that broaden kids’ palates on a daily basis.

Kids have a mind of their own. Feel free to let them stick to that mindset knowing that in time, and with a few new tricks up your sleeve, they’ll get through their picky eating phase as they get through everything—with Mom & Dad’s patience and creativity of course.

I'm a chef who specializes in elevating food, from turning airplane meals into a hot commodity to making clean, gluten-free dishes delicious. I grew up knowing firsthand the impact of childhood hunger, which is why I am thrilled to be a part of Revolution Foods’ team and help fuel children’s minds and bodies.

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5 Ways to Have Fun Eating with Fussy Kids

By Edward Cota

Children refusing to eat what you put in front of them can be stressful for parents. However, independence in meals is completely appropriate for children, as they learn to discriminate based on newly recognized qualities of food, such as taste, texture, presentation, and familiarity.

If you have a fussy eater at home, you’re not alone. I took an informal survey of about 10 parents, and more than half of them identified their children as being fussy eaters.

Fussy children can make meals hectic. Concerns about wasting food and whether your child eats enough “good” food (or even enough food) are common concerns. Subsequent power struggles can make meals a burden. And planning your child’s preferences can be almost impossible.

However, there is good news: Some of the typical behaviors of fussy eaters, such as refusing new foods and times when your child only wants to eat their favorite food are normal.

Based on the experience of my little ones and the dozens of little ones of family friends, with time and repeated exposures, without pressure, most children will accept new foods. You can also breathe easier: the vast majority of children who consider themselves fussy do not really have severely restricted diets or suboptimal growth.

Over the years, here are the strategies we’ve learned that you can use to create happier and healthier meals.

1. Change Your Perception

The first step for exhausted parents is often a change of perception. During the preschool years, slowing growth (compared to the rapid growth seen during childhood and childhood) can affect dietary intake. Psychological changes can also cause kids to, naturally, develop a sense of independence.

As agents of their own preferences and actions, preschoolers prefer to feed themselves. They can develop strong opinions about food.

By labeling our children “fussy”, we are labeling behaviors that are considered appropriate for development as non-conforming.

When we consider that children reject food as nonconforming, interactions with our child during meals often become stressful. We tend to focus on getting our children to comply with our requests, rather than promoting a healthy relationship with food.

Instead of seeing children as non-conforming, we can recognize this display of independence in meals as completely appropriate for their age. Your child will discriminate based on newly recognized qualities of foods, such as taste, texture, presentation, and familiarity.

Focus your attention on encouraging your child’s healthy eating without pressing. Enjoy the time you spend together during meals, instead of focusing on your child’s intake.

2. Accommodate Them

Accommodating your child’s preferences during meals is a win-win situation: They exercise some independence, while also eating the foods you have prepared.

During the meal planning stages, ask your child what she would like to eat during the week or take your child to the grocery store and ask them to choose a vegetable to try.

Accepting children’s preferences does not mean you have to eat chicken fingers every night. If you are serving a spicy Thai dish, consider making a version with fewer spices for your children.

3. Have Children Try New Foods

Don’t press your children to eat foods that they don’t like. It’s okay if your child does not like broccoli. Plenty of adults don’t either.

As with many things, repeated daily exposure, offering non-food rewards for tasting unpleasant foods and parents who eat the same food as the child has shown to be effective methods for helping increase adoption of healthier types of food.

The use of rewards such as stickers can improve the acceptance of new foods by your children and make repeated exhibitions more fun. Praise your child for trying new foods, but stay neutral if they choose not to eat it right away.

4. Establish a Healthy Eating Model

It is also important that you eat with your child when he offers you new foods. You can not expect your child to eat vegetables if you don’t eat them either!

Children with parents who model healthy eating habits have been reported to be less “demanding” and to be more likely to taste unpleasant vegetables and eat more fruits and vegetables.

5. Children Make Excellent Cooks

Engaging the whole family in the preparation of the meal can relieve stress during the meal. And there is no reason you have to make dinner all alone! Have your child wash food while cutting, set the table while dinner is in the oven, or prepare a portion of the meal that can be largely automated using a rice cooker or microwave.

Children who participate in meal preparation have more positive attitudes towards food and are more likely to later eat the food they help prepare.

Make your children head chefs! You’ll help increase their ownership and self-confidence by doing so and teaching them good habits for life.

Im a lover of all things food and drink and can offer tips on the best cookware, restaurants and recipes that you'll be sure to love.

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This Is How Family Vacations Differ for Millennials, According to Vrbo

by Shahrzad Warkentin

From camping under the stars to exploring Disney World, the ideal family vacation is different for everyone, but age plays a major factor in choosing dream destination according to a new travel report from Vrbo.

Vacation rental site Vrbo has just released a new report “Age isn’t just a number. It reveals how you travel.” based on its U.S. travel survey. The survey found that when it comes to decisions about travel things vary a great deal between generations. When it comes to the reason for traveling, for example, 45 percent of Millennials said they travel purely for exploration, while 20 percent of Gen Xers (35 to 54-year-olds) said travel was generally in honor of a special milestone, like a birthday or anniversary.

photo: Marc Richards via Pexels

The survey also revealed that Millennials were the most likely to go into debt in order to travel versus Gen Xers and Baby Boomers. There are some things that all generations have in common, however.

The majority of respondents, regardless of age, agreed that their dream destination was Australia. Certain amenities are also universal apparently, with 75 percent of respondents refusing to unplug for vacation and requiring that accommodations include WiFi access. The majority of Americans were also united in the desire to travel with friends and family, with 52 percent of respondents planning a family vacation this year. All participants rated relaxation as their primary reason for travel, “indicating a healthy desire to disconnect from the stress of our daily lives and reconnect with family and friends while away.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

 

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Your Kid Could Be the New “Mikey” in the Life Cereal Commercials

by Shahrzad Warkentin

If you grew up in the early 80s chances are you had a bowl of Life cereal at some point because “Mikey likes it!” The famous ad campaign, which was one of the longest running in history, is about to make a comeback and it could be starring your own kid.

Life cereal is “on a quest to find the next face to include in an upcoming ad for its beloved cereal.” If you have a precocious tot at home that loves the camera then, you can enter for the chance to see that adorable face in a brand new Life cereal commercial.

Kids between the ages of four and eight can submit a video entry online. You can get the full script and entry details here, but all you need to do is shoot a quick video of your pint-sized thespian reciting a few lines and refusing a bowl of cereal, then finally relenting and declaring, “Mmmmmm, I like it! I really like it! I really like Life!”

Entries will will accepted through Apr. 27, 2019. Three finalists will be chosen to and will be awarded a trip to Los Angeles where they will audition to become the star of the next “Mikey likes it!” campaign.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Alturas Homes via Pexels

 

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The First All-Female Spacewalk Won’t Be All-Female Anymore—But Here’s Why That’s Okay

by Shahrzad Warkentin

What would have been an historic moment for women with NASA’s first all-female spacewalk has turned into just another spacewalk—with both men and women involved—all thanks to a spacesuit that doesn’t fit. But it’s not all bad news, as you’ll see.

NASA has just announced the history-making all-female spacewalk originally scheduled to take place later this week has been canceled. Instead of astronauts Christina Koch and Anne McClain, the two-person team will now consist of Koch and male astronaut, Nick Hague. The reason for the last minute change? There is only one spacesuit aboard the International Space Station in a size medium. Yes, you read that right.

https://twitter.com/DaveMosher/status/1110293059131109378

Forget Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, in the saga of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Space Suit only one of the women can make the walk because there are no other spacesuits on board the International Space Station to fit them. No great change comes about without some growing pains and as more women head to space, clearly NASA needs to update its wardrobe to accommodate astronauts of all sizes.

While it seems like there’s nothing positive to this story, the truth is the call to nix the all-female spacewalk was ultimately up to the astronaut—and that’s a good thing. McClain decided she was not comfortable wearing the spacesuit for which she had initially been fitted—and there just wasn’t another suit available in the best size for her body. “

McClain learned during her first spacewalk that a medium-size hard upper torso—essentially the shirt of the spacesuit — fits her best. Because only one medium-size torso can be made ready by Friday, Mar. 29, Koch will wear it,” NASA said in a statement.

We have to remember: the mission to get more women into space and into roles that have been traditionally male-dominated isn’t necessarily a sprint, but more of a marathon. According to a recent report on diversity in space exploration, women made up only 8 percent of active astronauts in the 1970s. That number has increased steadily over the decades, with females now making up 32 percent of all astronauts in the world.

So yes, we will see that historic all-female spacewalk—just not this week. Hopefully as our kids grow up, all-women space teams won’t be big headlines either—because they’ll simply be the norm.

In the meantime, we applaud McClain for trusting her gut and refusing to do something that doesn’t feel right for her body and safety—and that’s a lesson all women and girls can take away.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: WikiImages via Pixabay

 

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Your Toddler Just Had a Tonsillectomy & Refuses to Drink Anything. Now What?

By Ashley Walker

If you’ve had a toddler go through a tonsillectomy, then you know it’s not easy. Nothing hurts a parent like seeing their child in pain, even if that pain can’t be avoided. We feel so bad for our child, but if we’re being honest, it’s hard on us too! The most difficult thing for me by FAR was getting my three-year-old to drink anything during her recovery. Liquids are so important after a tonsillectomy, more so than anything else!

My daughter cried every time she had to drink, saying it hurt her and she couldn’t do it. I was adamantly against taking her back to the hospital for an iv and fluids, so I pushed liquids like crazy. I felt bad for her of course, but I was NOT putting her through more pain. I knew that having a needle poked in her arm for the iv would be much worse than the pain she felt from drinking, so getting her to drink became my main focus.

The pity I felt for her helped me be extremely patient for the first week and then I started to get more and more frustrated. I had to learn some ways to get her to drink-and fast! Things I had done the first few days after surgery, like bribing her with ice cream or popsicles just weren’t working anymore. There was a lot of trial and error involved, but the following tricks seemed to work every time she needed to drink.

1. Make a game out of it.

There are lots of ways to do this: sometimes we would actually play a game and she would have to drink a sip after every move she took. Memory seemed to work particularly well. Other times I would get out my water bottle and we would race to see who could finish first. We would even play where I taught her a word in a different language for every sip—it takes all kinds, right? The important thing is to figure out what works for your child and make a game out of it.

2. Give your child incentives to drink.

If your child is anything like mine, popsicles and ice cream might not work too well after the first week. Then again, every kid is different, so maybe it will! I had to get creative with my incentives, doing anything from a small toy at the dollar store to making a cool craft afterwards. I didn’t like offering toys so much, so I tried to find random stuff I had lying around the house that she hadn’t seen before. Stuff like my old bracelets or necklaces worked well as she’s very girly.

3. Give her the drink while she’s distracted.

This worked probably the best, because she wasn’t focusing so much on the pain in her throat. I would give it to her while she was watching a show, intently coloring or doing a puzzle. There were times she would drink it down with minimal to no crying, taking a big weight off my shoulders. Watch for her to be involved in something else—and pounce!

4. Offer the drink right after her medicine.

If it’s close to time for medication, no trick in the world is going to get her to drink. She’s in pain and won’t even consider it! Giving the drink 20 minutes after her dose makes it much easier. As long as she has medication in her system it should be okay, but the last half hour to an hour before her next dose is due is a big no-no.

If you’re frustrated with your toddler refusing to drink, try these tips. A toddler recovering from a tonsillectomy is extremely hard on the parent too and sometimes we just need help. You don’t need the guilt that will come with losing your temper and yelling at your child to just drink the dang water! Trust me, I know.

Try these tips when you feel the frustration starting to take over—you’ll be glad you did.

Ashley is a freelance writer and blogger. She lives in Colorado, is a mother to two beautiful girls and is addicted to Japanese ramen. She enjoys traveling and writing up case studies in her free time. 

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Lawmakers Just Proposed a Major Update for Children’s Online Privacy Laws

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Do you wish you could have more control over what your kids see on the internet? A new federal privacy law could give parents an “erase button” for targeted ads online. Here’s the skinny on this proposed change to existing laws.

U.S. Senators Ed. Markey (MA) and Josh Hawley (MO) have just proposed a measure to amend the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) to add parental controls and ban targeted advertising to kids under 13. The parental controls would include a so-called “Eraser Button” that would remove all of a child’s data from an online platform without the company refusing service to the user.

photo: Igor Starkov via Unsplash

COPPA already protects kids ages 13 and under from having their personal data collected by companies like Facebook or Amazon without the direct consent of parents. This new amendment would raise the age and extend this protection to kids 15 and under, while giving kids ages 13 to 15 the agency to give their own personal consent on data collection from the same sites if they choose.

Under the amendment, internet-connected devices and toys marketed to kids would be required to include labeling on their packaging that would detail how a child’s data is collected and retained, shared and collected. If those devices don’t meet a specific set of cybersecurity standards, they will be banned from sale in U.S. stores.

The bill, with co-sponsors including Sens. Mazie Hirono (HI), Richard Blumenthal (CT) and Kirsten Gillibrand (NY), has also received support from children’s advocacy organizations such as Common Sense Media and Focus on the Family. The bill, S. 783., was introduced in the Senate on Mar. 13; you can track its progress online here.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

 

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