ML Interest Tag: regret

10 Things Kids Should Know about Money by the Time They’re 10

by Teresa Douglas

Teaching young children how to handle their finances pays huge dividends (pun 100% intended) both now and in the future. Not sure how to craft age-appropriate lessons for your squad? We interviewed four financial professionals and came up with a list of 10 money skills that deliver the biggest bang for your buck. Read on for all the details.

1. Use Everyday Moments to Talk about Money

Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels

"It's important to have regular conversations about money management while your child is still young to push them towards positive financial outcomes in early adulthood," advises Jennifer Seitz, Educational Content Lead at Greenlight and Certified Financial Education Instructor (CFEI). 

Make it make 'cents': Seitz suggests parents "Look for practical daily examples of spending and budgeting and share them with your child; for example, when you take your child grocery shopping, you can pull out your card for the cashier and then ask your child, "Do you know what type of card this is? Is it a credit card or a debit card?" 

This creates a learning opportunity to explain how debit cards take money directly from your bank account, while credit cards have a balance that must be paid each month. It's not free money or magic money—help your child understand how it works!"

 

2. Talk about Wants vs. Needs

mom daughter computer online school virtual elearning
Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

We need air, food, water, shelter and clothing. While your crew might beg to differ, we don't need toy cars or princess crowns. Needs are the things we buy before we buy the things we want.

Make it make 'cents': Together with the kiddo, grab a bunch of old magazines and coupon mailers, cut out different pictures, and glue them on a sheet of paper so that you have a collage of wants and a collage of needs.

3. Pay Kids for Unusual Tasks

Photo by Amina Filkins from Pexels

How nice would it be to get paid for making your bed, folding clothes or cutting your grass? Alas, it's not the case, so why do we lead kids on with chore-driven allowance? Consider giving them cash for extra work that they don't usually do (i.e., helping cook dinner or washing the family pet).

Make it make 'cents': Charge your mini-money makers with organizing a bake sale to earn extra money. They'll have a blast setting up shop and get a taste of what it's like to have a job.

 

4. Demonstrate the Wonder of Compound Interest

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Tom Byrum, Sr. Director, Head of Global Sales Compensation at a Fortune 500 company, uses a hands-on approach to get his child excited about saving money. "I'm paying my 10-year-old daughter an exorbitant monthly interest rate on her savings to illustrate the time value of money. She had fun calculating how much her $37 would grow at 10 percent interest per day for 30 days (no, that's not what I'm paying). She kept guessing how much she thought it would be and passed her guess two cycles later." 

Make it make 'cents': Even the smallest fry can learn this lesson if you make it visual. Arm yourself with a roll of pennies and a Mason jar so your preschooler can see how quickly the change builds up.

 

5. Explain the Different Types of Money

Sharon McCutcheon via Unsplash

There are coins, paper bills, paper checks, debit and credit cards–and you use them all at different times for purchases. The idea of monetary variety is a hard one to grasp for the under 10 set, especially when you can buy things with "invisible money" (aka credit cards). And let's not even get started on the difference between a checking and a savings account. 

Rod Griffin, Senior Director of Public Education and Advocacy at Experian, advises parents to "...help their children develop good financial habits by teaching them the difference between a checking and savings account and how banks store funds. Take a trip to the bank as a teaching experience and deposit or cash a check." 

Make it make 'cents': Make "invisible" money visible. Set one person up as the bank and have your kid "pay" for items around the house with a debit card. The bank person should then take the money out of the bank and give it to you.

6. Talk about Credit Cards

Frankie Cordoba via Unsplash

"Without the proper knowledge of best practices, credit cards can lead to a lot of trouble for adults, both young and old," says Griffin. "Parents should teach children what credit cards are and how to use them wisely. Going through a credit card statement can go a long way in helping children understand the cause and effect of using credit cards, the importance of making on-time payments and how it can impact their credit score."

Make it make 'cents': Role play the difference between making a purchase with good credit vs. bad credit. Kids with good credit can buy a popsicle for $2, while those with low scores get charged $6. If you have more than one child, we suggest giving everyone the same credit score, so you don't start a mutiny.

7. Teach Kids to Budget and Plan for Their Needs

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Ashraf Jaffer, Adjunct Accounting Professor at the University of North Carolina, has been doing this since her son was five years old. "He has a budget from birthday and holiday money. When he was younger, we would give him the prices of things he wanted. He would come up with a combination of things that would fit within his budget (which is a great way to incorporate math lessons). Now that he is older, we ask him to research prices and come up with a proposal and justification. The final decision is with us, but he feels he is more in control and participates in the decision process."

Make it make 'cents': Print out a calendar and pencil in planned family trips, holidays and special occasions. Ask your child to set aside spending money for each event before budgeting for immediate wants.

8. Don't Fudge the Budget

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"Stick to the budget and do not exceed it even if your kid's argument for spending more is great," advises Jaffer. "They will learn to prioritize spending needs and patience if you don't give in and increase the budget." 

We know, we know—easier said than done. But the sooner kids understand that they can't buy things if they don't have enough money, the better. 

Make it make 'cents': Create and label four money jars: "spend," "save," "share," and "invest." It's up to your kiddo to decide where the money goes. Another fun way to practice budgeting? Play Monopoly!

9. Model Charitable Giving

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Kids have great examples of $$$-stingy characters—think Scrooge, who no matter how much money he has, hoards it all to himself. Giving (even the smallest amount) to those who have less is a fundamental money lesson that naturally empathetic kids can enjoy.

Make it make 'cents': Together, research and choose one charity to donate money to each month.

10. Reinforce Positive Money Choices

A teacher high fives a student in class
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“Talk about their successes and reward them,” says Seitz. “Did they decide against buying something they didn’t really need? Smart move! Explain that now they can use the money for something else, which is that core money principal: opportunity cost. Did they choose to save their birthday money for an important big-ticket item? Tell them how proud you are! And why learning to save is so important as they grow up and become financially independent.”

Make it make 'cents': Be as specific as possible in your praise to really solidify the lesson. The more your little one feels warm and fuzzy about their financially responsible decisions, the better.

 

—Teresa Douglas & Ayren Jackson

Featured image: iStock 

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6 Ways to Practice Self-Love Daily

By Jen Kathrina-Anne

Showing yourself some self-love can go a long way in strengthening your mental and emotional health and peace of mind. Here are six ways to practice self-love daily:

1. Realize That Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Say it with me: self-care is not selfish. It is you taking care of your basic needs and rights as a human being. It is about doing the little things that bring you joy and promote peace within you. None of us can pour from an empty cup.

2. Forgive Yourself for past Mistakes
Sometimes we carry the weight of our past decisions and actions into our present. While thinking about the past is important to give us clarity and perspective, it’s important not to beat ourselves up. Today is always a chance to do better and to learn from mistakes, not to dwell in regret. Be kind to yourself.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Any Emotion 
Every day we will feel many different emotions. It’s ok to not feel ok, as they say. Allow your negative emotions to pass over and through you without guilt and the need to be “happy” all the time. Realize that feeling any and all of your emotions is a normal part of being human.

4. Limit News & Social Media
While it’s certainly important to know what’s happening in the world, there is such a thing as too much information. We are inundated daily by news reports and everyone else’s opinion about all of it. Try to limit your intake to a reasonable amount per day and maybe even consider taking one day per week to detox completely from media.

5. Declutter Your Space 
Sometimes we let clutter take over without even realizing it. Many times physical clutter can represent mental clutter. When we take the time to declutter our space, it contributes to mental decluttering and a more relaxed atmosphere.

6. Get Out in Nature
Humans are not meant to be cooped up all day. Do yourself a favor and get outside for fresh air even if it means just standing on your front porch. Fresh air, sunshine, and greenery go a long way in perking up your mood!

 

 

This post originally appeared on The Haute Mommy Handbook.

Jen Kathrina-Anne is a blogger, freelance writer, and graphic designer. When she’s not writing or designing, she enjoys spending time outdoors in the California Bay Area where she resides with her husband and two fearless daughters. Find her at www.hautemommyhandbook.com.

 

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I’m Not like Most 25-Year-Old Moms

By Samira Soto

Photo: Samira Soto

I’m a young mom, 25 now to be exact. When you become a mom in your early 20s the pressures are different than I feel like those in their 30s.

Girls’ nights are mandatory and happen probably way too often. We’re praised for the simplest things like keeping our children alive.

There’s no pressure to be the perfect PTA mom driving around in our minivans, because truthfully in a lot of ways we’re still kids ourselves trying to navigate adulthood.

We are the first in line for our Pumpkin Spice Lattes as soon as they hit Starbucks, and “vibe” is a part of our daily vocabulary. And we just now are starting to get excited over vacuums, air-fryers, new pots, and pans.

So what would bring a young mom like myself and a group of amazing women who are nothing like me together?

Autism.

See I’m not like most 25-year-old moms.

My days aren’t spent shopping the latest IG small business shops for trendy clothes for my son Kanen. They aren’t spent going to the zoo, or the park, or playdates with friends. They aren’t spent in fun pre-school classes like gymnastics and music.

My days look a lot like: Therapy on top of therapy. There’s speech, OT, ABA. Oh! And you can’t forget the Child Development Specialist Insurance agencies, and doctors—so many doctors.

Did I remember to schedule that appointment?

They just upped his dosage, what do you mean the insurance won’t cover the medication now?!

After Kanen’s diagnosis in September, I had never felt so lost and confused ever in my life. I didn’t know where or who to even turn to.

I felt isolated as my life quickly began to change, the fear of the unknown started settling in and was consuming me whole.

The thoughts, the wonder, the worries, the why!!!??? They played over and over in my head like it’s Groundhog Day.

During this time my Nana had been following a page called Finding Cooper’s Voice. Whenever I would call, she would talk to me about Kate and Cooper and constantly tell me how I should follow their page. 

In the beginning, I totally brushed her off, because of course, my first thought was, “There is no way this mom can understand how I feel! No one can!”

Of course, I was wrong, oh boy was I wrong.

And this is how one Facebook group, and ladies who are “nothing like me” saved my life on this autism journey.

See Kate has been on this journey for longer than I have, she is what I would call a veteran in my eyes. She saw all that was wrong in this community and found a way that moms like me have a safe space. Enter: Coop’s Troop.

Yet the more I opened my heart, and asked, and read, and listened to these women and their children’s stories, I realized I had more in common with them than most people my age.

I realized I had a lot more to learn from these moms than I could from any other resource within my reach. More than any book I could read. Because unlike most people in my life, they understand my struggles and my frustrations.

They understand the miracle of a spoken word, and like me will never take for granted the smallest milestone.

They taught me to turn my worry into wonder. 

To remind me on the bad days that this journey is a marathon, not a sprint.

It is because of the amazing woman I have found through Coop’s Troop that I was encouraged and inspired to start My Charming Arley…to write about our story, to share our struggles and our smiles.

Because no two Autism journeys are ever alike.

I encourage any mom, either new or seasoned on this Autism journey to follow Finding Cooper’s Voice and do yourself an even bigger favor and join Coop’s Troop.

I promise you won’t regret it.

Samira is a 25 year old single mom to a 2 year old son Kanen Arley. Her son Kanen was diagnosed with severe non-verbal autism in September of 2020, which inspired her to start sharing their journey through My Charming Arley on Facebook and Samirasstella on Instagram.

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The Secret to Raising Successful Readers

By Kate Jerome

Photo: Little Bridges

Did you know that reading aloud is the single most important activity you can do to help a child succeed in reading? It’s true! And here are just four of the many reasons why.

1. Builds Vocabulary 
Young children learn words primarily through listening. Obviously, conversation plays a big role but reading picture books offers more rich and diverse language than child-centered conversations alone. And don’t worry about kids understanding every word. Just hearing the words in context is helpful.

2. Increases Focus
Unlike watching TV, being read to delivers a slower pace of ideas. Children learn to listen and concentrate as you explain the unfolding events of a story. Over time, this can help increase a child’s attention span.

3. Encourages Bonding & Creativity
There’s no question that your voice is the one that makes a difference! Snuggling up for a good read helps a child feel secure which allows her or his imagination to soar. Even books that seem beyond a beginner’s comprehension can mesmerize a child because of the rhythm of your language. Reading aloud to grandchildren is especially impactful in strengthening multigenerational relationships.

4. Fosters a Life-long Love of Reading
According to Jim Trelease, author of The Read-Aloud Handbook, “Every time we read to a child, we’re sending a ‘pleasure’ message to the child’s brain.”  This creates a happy association with books and reading. Further, an enjoyable read-aloud experience often encourages a beginning reader who might be having difficulty mastering early skills.

There’s no way you can make a mistake reading aloud to a child. But here’s a tip. Before you read a book to a young child, experts often recommend you take a “picture walk” through the pages. This allows you to set the stage for reading by pointing out the setting. You can also ask your “Little” to make a prediction about what might happen next.

The beauty of building a strong read-aloud culture in your home is that it lasts for such a long time. Even when children can easily read on their own (9-11 years old), they love to listen to a book being read—and discussed—with them. My own sixth grade teacher knew this well. Each day after lunch she would sit at her desk in the front of the classroom and patiently wait for us thirty breathless kids to wind down our rowdy recess personas and give her our rapt attention.

At first we were insulted by the whole notion. How could the senior leaders of the elementary school submit to such a juvenile practice? Little did we know that after just a few days we would be absolutely hooked! To this day I remember her animated voice as she toured us through the classics. My personal favorite was A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh in which a bear “of very little brain” obsessed about honey while teaching us all a thing or two about the important art of friendship.

When the class moved on to junior high level, the quiet regret of so many of us was that we had to leave our read-aloud time behind. In retrospect, I’m quite sure that those lovely hours spent appreciating the written word was one of the contributing factors that led to my own love of story—and my career as a children’s book author.

Remember, you don’t need a special occasion to read with a child. Parents often establish a bedtime routine with children but there’s no reason you can’t enjoy a read together any time! And time is also not a factor. Even a 15 minute ritual can reap major benefits.

So enjoy the read-aloud experience…and just watch the benefits grow!

 

Kate Jerome, a seasoned publishing executive and award-winning children’s book author, is co-founder of Little Bridges, an innovative company dedicated to creating products that foster enduring multi-generational experiences, including themed, intergenerational activity kits with content and activities designed to encourage interactive experiences and meaningful conversations based on family traditions and history. 

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Why We Need to Celebrate Successes Big & Small

By Dr. Theresa Lyons

Photo: iStock

For a while, my life was pretty miserable. My daughter had severe autism. I didn’t smile, laugh, or even enjoy anything. Every possible resource I had went to my daughter—no little treats for myself. No shopping. No eating out. Not even haircuts for a bit. And when I would drive from my house to the supermarket, there was a restaurant that I would pass by. There was a beautiful window with an arch. I would see people sitting at the table, laughing and eating. So different than what my reality was at that time.

Every time I passed by that window, I would say to myself, “When my daughter is better, I will go sit in that window, eat, and laugh.” I didn’t tie any specific goals to when that would be or what would qualify as “better.” It was just something that I would tell myself to inspire me. I wanted to laugh again. I wanted to enjoy life again. Every time I drove past that window I had a choice – look at it with anger and resentment that my life wasn’t great or look at it with anticipation of life getting better. I didn’t need anything else making me feel bad, so I chose anticipation.

A few years later, I drove past that window and realized that my daughter was doing great, things were moving forward with her, and that my life was indeed better. I decided it was time to have a meal at that table, laugh, and enjoy. So I asked my friend to join me, and she said no. I was so hurt. She said, “That restaurant isn’t good. The food is overrated.” I told her I didn’t care about the food and explained how that window motivated me through some tough times. That didn’t persuade her at all. So I let it go because I didn’t want to go alone.

A few weeks later, I asked another friend, and she also told me no. She said pretty much the same thing my other friend said. The food wasn’t good, it was overpriced, blah blah blah. I was hurt again. I explained what it meant to me, and she said she didn’t want to spend the money and was quite adamant about not going there. So I let it go.

Several months later, I drove past that window and became determined to dine there, in that window, laugh, and have fun. So I asked another friend, but I first told him what it meant to me and then asked if he would go with me. He told me the exact same thing that my two other friends said – the food wasn’t good, that it was overrated, he didn’t want to wear a shirt with buttons, blah, blah, blah, but he said if it meant that much to me, he’d go although he really didn’t want to. That was good enough for me.

I made reservations specifically for that window seat. Oooh it felt so good to sit there. I was so happy. I told him the story of how many times I drove past this window and promised myself that not only would my daughter get better but that I would also treat myself for all the hard work I did to get us there. I told him how two friends turned me down to come to this window and celebrate but that they just made me more determined…just like when sometimes things didn’t go well with my daughter…it just made me more determined. We laughed about everything. The waitstaff enjoyed us being there—it was such fun. I felt so satisfied with myself and my actions in life.

We had dinner. I’ve got to admit, my friends were right, the food wasn’t that good. LOL. However, it was not overrated because I was celebrating success! The food was irrelevant. My daughter was doing great, my life was so different, we both were happy, and I followed through on celebrating success. Life felt wonderful.

So do it. Go celebrate. I am sure there is something your child is doing now that people thought could never happen. That changed because of your hard work. Your determination. Your love for your child. You’ve worked hard, celebrate your successes, and be excited for what more will come.

COVID has changed a lot in life. I just drove by that restaurant, looked in the window, and saw a “For Sale” sign. The restaurant has closed due to COVID. I have no idea what will happen to that building. Will another restaurant open there? Will there still be a window seat? Who knows, and that’s how life goes. If I didn’t take the time to celebrate success right now, I would be feeling regret rather than satisfaction.

I am so proud of my determination. I knew my daughter’s life could get better, and I worked relentlessly to make that happen. And I made sure to celebrate success, even when two friends wouldn’t celebrate with me.

I’m sure you’re doing a lot of work for your child. Are there setbacks? Sure. Does everything go perfectly? No. But that doesn’t stop you for long, right? When you get an opportunity to celebrate success, take it. There’s no guarantee of a tomorrow.

Yes, there will always be more to do, but if you don’t reward yourself for your successes, how will you maintain the energy to continue?

This post originally appeared on Navigating AWEtism.

I'm an autism parent and Yale trained scientist. I created the blog Navigating AWEtism as a valuable source of trustworthy, cutting-edge scientific facts about autism so that parents have quality information to make informaed decisions.  You'll also find parenting inspiration, no matter where you are on the autism journey. Please check out https://awetism.net/

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The Precious Gifts of Failure & Empathy

By Amy Jorgensen

I almost lost it yesterday.

My oldest daughter came to me crying because her little sister, 5-year-old Jo, got angry and shot her with a bugassalt gun (a handy fly and spider killing tool that shoots table salt like a shotgun—it hurts, trust me). I chanted “calm down” in my mind like some mantra as I angrily stormed downstairs to the bedroom they were supposed to be cleaning. Their only chore. It wasn’t even that messy. They had been “cleaning” for 40 minutes. Jo hadn’t been helping and Liv called her out. Jo shot her foot. Liv was crying and limping around upstairs. You get the picture, right?

This is one of those moments… a hinge moment. A looming decision moment where you can almost see everything freeze in place and your mind would like to evaluate the situation calmly and rationally before you act but your body just dives right in and whatever emotion boiling inside you explodes. Yeah… one of those moments.

I found her in the closet. Pulled up into a ball. I somehow took a deep breath and probed, “Did you shoot your sister?” Emotion spilled out of her in waves of hurt and regret and anger. “I just don’t feel like I fit into this family!” she screamed with heavy sobs. My anger cooled right down to my toes and my heart swelled with empathy. Not sympathy. EMPATHY. You see, several months ago, before I realized I had depression and after an especially bad “go clean your room, 2 hours later it’s still not done mom afternoon” I completely lost it. I screamed, I threw my phone so hard against the wall it shattered, I moved to my closet where I chipped a shelf before I crumpled on the floor in anger and hurt and regret. I felt like I wasn’t good enough for this family. I sobbed heavy sobs. Little Jo found me there. She patted my back and told me it would be OK. She offered me her forgiveness and love and empathy. And here she was, one of my precious babies, hiding in a closet, feeling hurt and lost and alone and regretful—feeling like she didn’t belong, sobbing heavy sobs.

I held her. I sobbed with her, patted her back and reassured her she definitely belonged in this family. I asked her if she remembered when mom got angry and made mistakes and felt like she didn’t belong. I asked her if she remembered who came into the closet to tell me it would be OK. I told her that we would be OK together. I promised her I would help her learn how to control her boiling emotions. I forgave her. I asked her what she should do now. We picked up the pieces. Little Jo apologized to her sister for both shooting her with the salt gun and for not helping clean the bedroom. She then cleaned the bedroom and made the beds. And most impressive of all, she forgave herself.

As I served my little family dinner, I saw little Jo’s tear-stained cheeks lift in a smile at her big sister’s newest joke. I remembered my own mother sobbing on her closet floor as I patted her back and told her it would be OK. I will treasure that memory. It is one of the most precious gifts my mother gave me. And tonight, I gave my little Jo a precious gift. My failure. My tears. My hurt and regret. My love. My forgiveness. My empathy. And we will be OK because we are in this together. We’re teaching each other how to control our boiling emotions. We’re teaching each other to forgive, to pick up the pieces and start again. We are giving each other precious gifts.

So today, I hope you will accept the gift of my admitted failures and give someone else a precious gift. The gift of your own failure, your empathy, tears, forgiveness…and love. We will be OK. Because we are in this together.

This post originally appeared on My Peace Project.

Amy is a creator and believes everyone else is too. She strives to be artistic in all areas of life but writing is her passion and her family is her masterpiece. She uses her blog to address the joys and struggles of motherhood and is currently writing her first novel.

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Life Lessons from a Sweet Tooth

By Ruthi Davis

Dear Confessional,

I’m sorry, but life is not “like a box of chocolates,” because if it were, then each bite would be sweet and probably not last more than 10 minutes in my hands (especially if they were filled with caramel). Life, perhaps, is more accurately depicted as that Jelly Belly BeanBoozledⓇ game where you have to spin the dial and manage through your pick—barf, juicy pear, spoiled milk, lime, rotten egg, coconut, etc. Not every experience in life is “strawberry” and “peach.” Some days are just plain “spoiled milk” and “moldy cheese.”

Yes, every day is truly a gift, on both the good days and the ones that feel like a “booger” pick. Whether you spin the dial and life lends you a sweet or foul hand, each moment is a small part of your vast journey in experiencing, feeling, learning, growing, and then back again. Reflecting back on my likely relatable lessons learned in each stage of life, I have received both the tasty and foul jelly beans, too. That is why I feel the need to share this account of my personal rainbow of flavors that I have tasted in each stage of life.

“Coconut” childhood Always trust your instincts and speak up when you need to, right away. Don’t ever feel less than anyone. You are important, smart, and worthy. When you start writing and publishing your first works of poetry, let nothing stop you. You are boundless with possibility if you truly want it. When school work starts to get you down, find a different way to study and learn. Your will to succeed and effort are far more important than the score. Do your best always, and that will be good enough.

“Barf” note to self: When you don’t like your dinner, don’t think you can fool your parents by hiding your bites in a napkin or pushing the food into really small but very tall piles. They always know!

“Tutti-Frutti” teenage years Even when your body doesn’t change as quickly as your friends’, it will happen. Stop rushing it and give it time. Let your full personality bloom to others. Don’t measure yourself so much by school scores and exam results. True success comes from your determination and passion to succeed in what you love—not from a number.

“Stinky Socks” note to self: Please stop picking any zits. Your skin is beautiful and will self-heal—so hands-off—and take out any stress through your writing, not on yourself. When you look back at this time later, you will really appreciate your flawless skin.

“Chocolate Pudding” college life Love yourself more and criticize less. Stop wearing makeup, you don’t need to hide behind a layer of foundation. Wear that bikini with pride—no stretch marks, cellulite, stretched-out skin, or wrinkles yet—and stop worrying about that thigh gap! Your financial struggle will bring out the greatest work ethic and inner strength that you will carry always. You will find a way to pay for school, a car, living expenses, and manage to save a bundle, all while taking a full load of classes and two internships. This work ethic is more valuable than the schooling itself, so stop worrying about the scores and keep pushing on.

“Rotten Egg” note to self: After you discover $5 pizzas, freshman year, and your dream guy asks you on a date, DO NOT squeeze into those black corduroy pants! You will regret bending down. Buttons will pop and tearing sounds will haunt you. He’ll still marry you, though, shameless appetite and all.

“Caramel Corn” career Follow your dreams and don’t settle. Even if you don’t get the job you were hoping right away, don’t stop until you do what you love. The money will come when you don’t give up—work hard and plan your dream into reality. You are worthy, so don’t ever let any manager speak down to you, ever!

“Dead Fish” note to self: You don’t make a good first impression by going cross-eyed and bobble-head sleeping during your first Board of Directors meeting. Your boss WILL take a picture. Get more sleep!

“Strawberry Banana Smoothie” marriage Don’t worry about everything being perfect on your wedding day because the unexpected will undoubtedly happen. Enjoy every second of your special day, soak it all in, and wear flats instead of those fancy high heels. Marriage is incredible and also takes work. Be honest and respectful always. Never go to bed angry. Stop being so stubborn, and admit when you’re a pain and apologize. Don’t forget to keep it hot—less flannel pyjamas and more slinky things, even on “fat” days. He always thinks your sexy, so stop worrying about that post-broccoli bloatation.

“Baby Wipes” note to self: When tensions rise, feed him or let him nap immediately! The hungry and tired combo is lethal.

“Peach” pregnancy Being pregnant is awkward, uncomfortable, tiring, nauseating, and also such an incredible and miraculous blessing. Enjoy every second, because when you’re truly done having kids, you’ll know it—and then you’ll feel old. After each baby, don’t self-shame over your awkward figure for a while. Your body will need time to heal and your emotions time to settle before you get the proper portion and over-carbing issue in check. Give yourself a full year to get back into your pre-preggo body. When it’s time to have each baby, don’t be stubborn—listen to your body and your instincts. Sometimes, your intuition is far greater than a nurse’s or doctor’s assumption.

“Toothpaste” note to self: You don’t need to eat the entire cake, the scale doesn’t lie.

“Berry Blue” mom Being a first time mom is hard. You will be so tired. You will have a hard time asking for help. Sleep more and recharge. You are NOT a machine. Don’t over-sanitize everything—pass around the baby more. Stop micro-managing and let others find their own way. Opinions are just that, opinions—take them or leave them. Don’t use pantry-prowling and shovelling food in your face as an excuse for a break. Remember that when your child melts down, don’t crumble with her. Be the calm in her storm. Be the confident and compassionate one until the dark clouds clear. It is the only way. When the kids argue, let them. Don’t always try and fix everything, it is not your battle. Give them the tools to repair, heal, and step away. Learn from them, as they have so much to teach you.

“Skunk Spray” note to self: Enjoy bringing your baby to the supermarket because when they’re all in school, you won’t have anyone to blame when you pass gas. 

“Lime” back to ME time Having a free moment once all kids are in school will feel strange and will take some time before you stop looking over your shoulder or automatically opening all of the car doors every time you get in or out of the minivan. Take the time to find yourself again. Pursue your true dreams in the few hours you have—you will be surprised by how fast it happens. Wear your body like a badge of honor—you did create four miracles with it. You are not perfect and don’t need to pretend to be. Be real. Be honest. Be selfless and kind, and teach your children the same. They are always watching. Don’t live with guilt or regret. Do what you love and show others how much you appreciate and love them. “You are your own perfect imperfection.”

“Booger” note to self: Really try and get more sleep because your wide-gapped mouth will appear both frightening and morbid when you fall asleep in the passenger seat or airplane. Even though it’s the law of gravity, people WILL stare, take pictures, point, and laugh.

Enjoy the journey and keep learning. Even in the moments that may taste like “canned dog food” or “lawn clippings,” you never know what you’re going to get.

Take every moment with patience, open-mindedness, and willingness to understand—and always remember to laugh, hug, and find thankfulness in any situation.

Remember, it’s not about the flavor of the bean that your dealt with, but rather the experience, the laughter, and the company that makes it all worth while during the game.

With Love,

Ruthi

Photo: Ruthi Davis Photography

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

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