What did the angry pepperoni say? What museums do NY comedians love?

Kids and jokes are a match made in heaven. (We find the sillier, cornier, and punnier, the better.) Take your family’s joking up a notch with these NYC-centric goofs that hopefully won’t make you gag! (See what we did there?)

1. What's a New Yorker's favorite storm?

A Cyclone.

2. How do the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges communicate? 

In span-ish.

3. Why was the bagel store robbed?

The lox were broken. 

4. What did the angry pepperoni say?

You wanna pizza me? 

5. Where do New York chefs get their broth? 

The Stock Exchange.

6. What do you call a barber in the Bronx?

A Yankee Clipper.

7. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the sand? 

Nothing, it just waved. 

8. Where’s the best place to charge your phone in NYC?

Battery Park.

hand holding slice of pizza on NYC street
iStock

9. Where did the rooster live?

In a co-op.

10. How do New Yorkers show affection?

They’ll give you a hug and a knish.

11. How did the sailor get around the city?

He took Ocean Parkway.

12. What’s the best street for moving trucks? 

Broadway.

13. What is the landscaper’s favorite museum?

Mow-Ma.

14. Where do the Rolling Stones love to perform?

Rock Center.

15. What museum do comedians love?

The Wit-ney

16. What’s the coziest spot in New York?

Snug Harbor

17. Where did the math teacher like to hang out?

Times Square

18. Who do kids in Chelsea hang out with?

Their piers. 

19. Can a kid jump higher than the Statue of Liberty? 

Of course, silly. The Statue of Liberty can't jump!

 

Even though it’s still spring, the Scholastic Summer Reading program is kicking off right now! Your kiddo can participate in the fully digital program today through Friday, Sep. 3, 2021—and it’s completely free.

Simply create an account of Scholastic Home Base and your little literacy lover can start their summer reading list. The 24/7 moderated digital destination gives kids the chance to read free e-books, attend virtual author events and so much more.

photo courtesy of Scholastic

After creating an account, your child will can access select e-books for free. These include family-friendly faves such as Goosebumps and I Survived along with read-aloud videos featuring The Word CollectorTrain and The Rooster Who Would Not Be Quiet.

Scholastic Reading Club account members can also join virtual author events every Thurs. from May 6 through Aug. 26 at 3:00 ET. The events are hosted by summer reading ambassadors and award-winning authors Sayantani DasGupta (Kiranmala and the Kingdom Beyond), Varian Johnson (TwinsThe Great Greene Heist), Ann M. Martin (The Baby-Sitters Club series), and Kelly Yang (Front Desk).

Along with free e-books and virtual author-led events, the Scholastic Summer Reading program will also give your child the chance to help unlock a donation of 100,000 books! Each day your child checks into the Summer Zone online, they’ll create a Reading Streak. Your child’s continued reading efforts can earn them virtual items, trophies and in-game tokens. It can also help Scholastic to unlock a donation for 100,000 books to communities throughout the country through Save the Children.

—Erica Loop

Feature photo: Stephanie Yaich via Unsplash

 

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See the Transformers like never before. Netflix and Hasbro, Inc., in partnership with Rooster Teeth, today released the final main trailer for Chapter One of the highly anticipated Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy which premieres on Netflix on Jul. 30. The Series raises the stakes of the Autobot and Decepticon war with Chapter One having six, twenty-two minute episodes, complete with a new animation look and style. 

Transformers

Chapter One, Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy: Siege  begins in the final hours of the devastating civil war between the Autobots and Decepticons. The war that has torn apart their home planet of Cybertron is at a tipping point. Two leaders, Optimus Prime and Megatron, both want to save their world and unify their people, but only on their own terms. In an attempt to end the conflict, Megatron is forced to consider using the Allspark, the source of all life and power on Cybertron, to “reformat” the Autobots, thus “unifying” Cybertron. Outnumbered, outgunned, and under siege, the battle-weary Autobots orchestrate a desperate series of counterstrikes on a mission that, if everything somehow goes right, will end with an unthinkable choice: kill their planet in order to save it.

Voice talent includes Jake Foushee (Optimus Prime), Jason Marnocha (Megatron), Linsay Rousseau (Elita-1), Joe Zieja (Bumblebee), Frank Todaro (Starscream), Rafael Goldstein (Ratchet), Keith Silverstein (Jetfire), Todd Haberkorn (Shockwave, Red Alert), Edward Bosco (Ultra Magnus, Soundwave), Bill Rogers (Wheeljack), Sophia Isabella (Arcee), Brook Chalmers (Impactor), Shawn Hawkins (Mirage), Kaiser Johnson (Ironhide), Miles Luna (Teletraan I, Cliffjumper) and Mark Whitten (Sideswipe, Skywarp).

More details regarding Chapter Two, Transformers: War for Cybertron Trilogy: Earthrise and Chapter Three are coming soon.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Netflix

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Just because grandma and granddad are coming for a visit doesn’t mean you have to rocking-chair the day away. There are dozens of places to check out that appeal to multi-generational family members. Here are five Nana and Papa-approved spots to check out.

Photo: John Collins via Flickr

Mt. Vernon Estate
While there’s a ton of fun to be had at this historical site, it’s set at a pace that’s just right for grands and kids alike. You’ll be able to stroll around the grounds looking out over the Potomac River, visit farm animals and outbuildings; rest your feet with a wagon ride, fill up on roasted apples and listen to music from early America. Have an Ansel Adams in your group? This is the place to set up the tripod or just snap a few photos of the season so that made memories won’t be forgotten.

3200 Mount Vernon Hwy. (Alexandria, Va)
Online:  mountvernon.org

National Museum of African American History and Culture
The stunning building, inspired by Yoruba art and filigree ironwork, is filled with presentations and artifacts that give visitors a glimpse at all aspects–the good and the gut-wrenching–of the African American experience. It’s a must-visit for the entire family, and one that deserves return visits. Get more info on specific exhibits here.

1400 Constitution Ave., NW (National Mall)
Online: nmaahc.si.edu

The Butterfly Pavillion
Imagine being instantly surrounded by free-flying butterflies and exotic plants in shapes, sizes and colors you rarely see on your city block. That’s what happens when you visit the Butterfly Pavilion at the Museum of Natural History. The pavilion is open daily, but you can save the grands some money by going on a Tuesday when the exhibit is free. Online reservations are suggested.

1000 Constitution Ave., NW (Smithsonian)
Online: butterflies.si.edu

Matchbox Vintage Pizza Bistro
If your child loves pizza (and who doesn’t?), then Matchbox’s artisanal, brick-oven pizza is for you. They offer a variety of traditional and satisfying American fare, but it’s the pizza that really shines. Matchbox’s pizza ranges from simple cheese and pepperoni to prosciutto and chicken pesto.

Multiple locations in the DMV
Online: matchboxrestaurants.com

National Gallery of Art
New York, Paris, Munich, and Istanbul all boast magical modern art museums. Lucky for us, with the newly reopened East Building, D.C. also goes on the list as having another(!!) incredible place to view modern art. From Picasso to Matisse, de Toulouse-Lautrec to Calder, Pollock to Bearden, modern artists abound across the East Building. With original Disney posters, adult sized mobiles, and the biggest blue Rooster you’ve ever seen, there’s something for every artsy grandparent (and little one) in your crew.

Constitution Ave. between 3rd and 9th Sts. (National Mall)
Online: nga.gov

Where do you like to take out-of-town grandparents when they visit D.C.? Tell us in the comments below. 

–Ayren Jackson-Cannady

Daily
Today Is #Rooster Day
Happy Lunar New Year!
1

The Lunar New Year runs this year from Jan. 28 to Feb. 2 and we’ve got plenty of traditions for you to start with your little roosters.

2

Get crafty with Year of the Rooster projects you can do at home.

3
Got a wee one born (or due) this year? Read up on what to expect if you are expecting a little chicken soon (and other horoscopes for kids).

{ Today’s ideas brought to you by Barns }

Your little bundle is turning one! A lot has changed in 12 months, and while plush toys and playmats used to be favorites, you’re probably in need of a toy refresh. Flip through our favorite gifts for Baby’s first birthday to find the perfect present to commemorate getting through year one.

Plan Toys Animal Train Sorter

Pull toys are great fun for babies on the move. You can pull it along for your crawling tot to follow and walking babies can tow it around the house all on their own. This tuggable train offers more play value as a shape sorter - you can remove and replace the triangle rooster, circle duck and square rabbit.

Available at fatbraintoys.com, $31.95.

What will you buy for your baby’s first birthday? Tell us in a Comment.

–Julie Seguss

Just last week at the D23 Expo, a convention for Disney fans, Disney gave a sneak peek of Moana, their new Polynesian princess. If your Mouseketeer loved the island setting of Lilo and Stitch, they’ll love Moana’s animated story, which will bring them on a mythical boat ride. Listen to a snippet of one of the songs below!

The story is described as an adventure set 2000 years ago. Princess Moana is determined to sail across the Pacific Ocean and complete her “ancestor’s unfinished quest” to prove herself as a navigator. She travels with colorful company: her sidekicks Pua the pig and Hei Hei the rainbow-colored rooster, and a once-mighty demi-god named Maui (voiced by Dwayne Johnson). Sounds like Mulan meets The Little Mermaid, starring Brave’s Merida to us!

The same team who created Aladdin, The Little Mermaid and Princess and the Frog are set to direct the film. And the man behind many songs in The Lion King and Tarzan will be arranging the tunes. Sounds like an awesome animated musical to us!

Moana is due to hit the big screens next year, Nov. 23, 2016. Will you be there opening day?

— Christal Yuen

Chef Marcus Samuelsson’s Red Rooster in Harlem is a great choice for a date night outing or special occasion, but you’re not about to drop $18 on dish of mac and cheese for your little one (as much as you adore them). However, Samuelsson’s latest venture in the neighborhood, a more casual and budget-friendly eatery dubbed Streetbird, is serving up food both you and the kids will enjoy in a fun and vibrant setting infused with a hip-hop and historic Harlem sensibility. Here’s the word on the bird!

 photo: Matt Slavin

Go for the Food, Stay for the Decor

Streetbird celebrates and combines two elements: Samuelsson’s love of Manhattan and his affinity for a zesty Rotissere chicken — the bird of the street, apparently.

Hand-painted chairs and beer barrels line the outside of the airy, open restaurant; the inside is just as diverse and wonderfully eccentric as the exterior. The walls are adorned with 80’s-inspired graffiti, posters of famed musicians like James Brown, vintage signs, high top and Chuck Taylor kicks, leather jackets, and more. It’s dynamic and really cool, with so much to look at—both kids and parents alike will be impressed with the diner-meets-Harlem Renaissance “so much to explore” decor. There’s even an impressive tower of old school boom boxes.

photo: courtesy Streetbird Rotisserie

Take a Seat

The front of the restaurant is outfitted with a nice, long counter area where a large rotiserrie cooks/spins the chicken right before your eyes. An additional rounded counter can be found in the very back of the restaurant  — a spot which may appeal to older kids who think it’s cool to sit on red and yellow bar stools. Both counters give the restaurant a classic NYC diner vibe.

You’ll also find booths and individual tables here, but the area can be a bit tight for strollers; parents can stash them near the front of the restaurant. Take note of the cool old-fashioned photos and patterns on the table which showcase the Harlem Renaissance. Wooden high chairs, hand-painted by local artists, are covered in swirls and patterns. Even the bathroom on the main floor features awesome decor of vintage wallpaper and large, decorative TVs. (It’s also quite large, so there’s room for you and the kids to be in there all at the same time, should the need arise.)

photo: courtesy Streetbird Rotisserie

The Bird on the Street

Chicken is obviously the main attraction on the menu. Chicken dishes available include whole or half rotisserie birds served with Samuelsson’s very special Smokey Q Sauce (which gives the chicken a little sweet kick; very subtle, very tasty); chicken & waffles (red velvet waffles, bourbon maple syrup, Streetbird spiced chocolate sauce) and the crispy bird sandwich (crispy chicken and cheddar on a potato roll with smokey Q, lettuce, tomato and pickles).

Still, vegetarians need not despair here. Non-chicken choices include various salads (with fantastic names, including, “The Fly Girl” and “Grace Jonezzz”),  and Return of the Mac, which is — what else? — mac and cheese, which we give high marks for fans of the dish of all ages. (It’s $8.50.)  Other non-meat options include veggie dishes, sides like cornbread, notti greens (green beans, chili, peanuts) and pickled cucumber.

Regardless of your culinary preferences, things are likely to get a bit messy — which is why you’ll find a big roll of paper towels on every table.

photo: Matt Slavin

Good to Know

Chicken Fingers (called “Bird Tenders”) are also available, and very popular for kids, plus staffers will happily do their absolute best to make exceptions to accommodate special requests for children. For example, Streetbird offers traditional french fries, which can also be combined with sweet potato fries upon request, and if parents want a small side of mac and cheese for the kids— instead of a full portion — that’s a “do” as well. Desserts include super sweet cookies, and more.

The restaurant is open for brunch — served all day! — on weekends at 10:30 a.m.; while it is not currently accepting reservations, Streetbird does deliver.

Our final word?: Go! (Just be prepared to answer questions such as, “What’s a boom box?” and “Who is Billie Holiday?”)

Streetbird Rotisserie
2149 Frederick Douglass Blvd.
Harlem
212-206-2557
Online: streetbirdnyc.com

Have you stopped by to Streetbird? Give us your review in the comments!

— Rachel Sokol

If you tired of listening to the “Frozen” soundtrack two months ago, check out these two new albums debuting this month. One is a creative and imaginative collection of kid-friendly punk rock like we’ve never heard before; the other is a melodic compilation of acoustic instrumental songs from one of our favorite artists. Read on to find out what makes them worth adding to your rotation.

Rainbow Beast & The Rock Band Land Rockers

Creative, mysterious, imaginative and even dark at times, Tales From the Monstrosity Scrolls, the new album from San Francisco’s Rainbow Beast & The Rock Band Land Rockers is undeniably punk rock. Led by Marcus Stoesz (vocals, guitar, keys), Brian Gorman (drums, backing vocals) and Jen Aidrich (bass), Rainbow Beast is “a band born from the minds of children, embodied in the lives of professional musicians.”

Each playful song tells a unique story. “The Truth About Polar Bears” follows the adventures of a polar bear that scares a French village but then ends up becoming its protector. “Rooster Skull” unveils what happens when a Hawaiian rooster ignores a farmer’s advice. And “The Little Big Easy” is a slower tune that layers in New Orleans jazz. The unconventional tales and indie rock vibe will make you dance, sing along and rewind so you can hear each story again and again.

Why you’ll listen to the album on repeat: These songs are reminiscent of Wilco, Radiohead and The Kinks. With tracks that are anything but typical kiddie rock, Rainbow Beast’s new release will be as enjoyable for you as it is for your kids.

Good to know: Since some of the songs deal with themes like loss, nightmares, and fear the album is best for kids ages 5-11.

Listen: 

Online: rockbandland.org/rainbow-beast

Buy Rainbow Beast’s album by clicking here

Laura Doherty

If you’re looking for catchy melodies with a folksy vibe, you’ll found it in Laura Doherty’s new album, In a Heartbeat. With Parents’ Choice Gold and Silver Awards under her belt for her first two albums, Doherty’s third release is as kid-friendly as it is fun. The 13 tracks range from the jazz/blues-influenced “Electric Guitar” to the folksy “Woolly Woolly Bear” to “Drum Kit” that features Glenn Kotche from Wilco. Whether you need songs for a car ride or play time, In a Heartbeat is an instant mood booster.

Why you’ll listen to the album on repeat: The positive lyrics coupled with soothing acoustic instrumentals make is pleasing for young and old alike.

Good to know: The album is best for kids ages 0-6 since the tunes are like lullabies, and they all promote an upbeat message.

Listen: 

Online: lauradohertymusic.com

Buy Laura Doherty’s album by clicking here

Tell us what you think of these two new albums. Would your kids like these songs?

— Erin Lem