You might remember “7 Minutes in Heaven” or “Spin the Bottle” from your tween and teen years. If you do, you won’t be surprised to hear that games pushing the boundaries of consent and exploring sexuality are still around. The latest buzz involves the “Fire Truck Game,” which isn’t new but has been gaining more traction recently. Mom and nurse @the.funny.nurse took to TikTok to remind parents that having a frank conversation about bodily autonomy is more important than ever.
“PSA to parents of children in junior high: My 11-year-old daughter just informed me that the boys are playing a game called the Fire Truck Game. We’ve got to do better teaching our boys to keep their hands off of other people and teaching our girls that it’s OK to have boundaries,” she says.
The “Fire Truck Game,” which has also been called “The Nervous Game,” is defined by Urban Dictionary as “a game where someone puts their hand on the other person’s inner thigh and travels upwards until the other person says ‘red light.’ But the thing is… the other person doesn’t stop and typically replies with, ‘Fire trucks don’t stop at red lights.’” Yikes.
While this is horrifying in and of itself, it’s important to realize that the Fire Truck Game isn’t the only time tweens and teens will find themselves in intimate situations—wanted or not—and it’s important to have a serious conversation about it.
In a recent Instagram video, Kathleen Henna, who specializes in helping parents navigate the “S” talk with kids, states that this is a good opportunity to help kids gain critical thinking skills and make smart decisions when faced with various games that press on the boundaries of consent.
How do parents navigate this type of situation? Talk about the concept of consent—again and again. While it’s understandable that tweens and teens in the thralls of hormonal changes are curious about sex, knowing what is and isn’t okay between two people is an absolute must.
Also, whether we want to admit it or not, it can be tricky for kids to actually use any tools they might have to set or respect boundaries when they’re older. Peer pressure and wanting to fit in sometimes make it more uncomfortable for kids to ask for consent or say no to unwanted advances.
“One reason to teach kids to ask for consent is that sometimes they are so focused on what they want that they don’t think about the other person’s feelings,” according to The Child Mind Institute. “Teenagers are naturally self-centered. They may think applying pressure is an appropriate way to get what they want.”
These conversations should be happening with both boys and girls because advances can happen to and by either sex; just remember to speak to your kids with zero judgment because they need to feel you are a safe space to share. Be empathetic, listen, and ask open-ended questions. You can also use simple phrases to respond that show you are just stating the facts, not judging your kids when they have something to say.
When giving kids the tools they need to deal with issues of consent, The Child Mind Institute suggests giving your children a set of questions or a mental list that allows them to check in with themselves. Questions like: “Do I feel safe?” “Is this what I want?” “Is this okay?” “Are you comfortable with this?” In addition, make sure they know that it is okay to say “NO,” and that if someone says “NO,” that’s it—game over.
This is big, scary stuff, but it isn’t new, and it’s not going away anytime soon. So, if your kid comes home asking or talking about the Fire Truck Game, take a moment to sit them down and start the conversation about what consent means for everyone involved.
Parenting certainly has its trying moments, especially if you’re dealing with a mini version of yourself who wants nothing more than to argue with you every minute of the day. In theory, we know we should embrace our strong-willed children in the hopes that they turn these behaviors into leadership skills later in life. But when you’re in the moment and your kid is rejecting the breakfast they asked for—which you lovingly prepared in the shape of a dinosaur—it’s tough to keep your cool. So tough.
But as parents, we also know that a surefire way to feel exponentially worse is to lose it just like our kids have. That’s when the yelling starts, and the pleading and desperation. So why not start by taking a deep breath? This is the first step in the four-step approach suggested by parenting coach Albiona Rakipi to help you cope with a kid who doesn’t seem to like anything you do. She shared it on her TikTok account @theparentingreframe and we think it’s pretty brilliant.
@theparentingreframe suggests you follow the acronym PARR to get you through a highly charged situation with your little one:
Pause: Pause and take a deep breath. Do not react. “If you’re reactive right away, your child’s going to feel it, and guess what happens? Everybody escalates,” Albiona explains. If you pause and take a minute to center yourself, it can change the trajectory of the entire event.
Acknowledge: Acknowledge to yourself what you’re feeling, whether it’s triggered, agitated, or annoyed.
Respond: We don’t want to launch into a long response. We’re keeping it short and setting the boundaries. If you made pancakes because that’s what the child asked for and now they’re asking for waffles, Albiona recommends you say something like, “I know it’s hard when we can’t decide what we want to eat. But pancakes are what’s for breakfast.” You aren’t offering them a million choices for toppings. You aren’t offering alternatives. You are setting the boundary and moving on.
Reflect: After the situation has passed, reflect on what the trigger was and why it brought up so many emotions for you as a parent. Is there something you could do differently to avoid that reaction in the future?
Two important things to note in this four-step process are that you can’t take your kid’s behavior personally and you aren’t launching into a lengthy explanation about why they need to eat this breakfast. While you might want to explain that it’s important not to waste food or that it hurts your feelings when they don’t want something you made, this is not the time. Your kid is in a highly reactive state.
“What they’re really communicating is that they need boundaries,” Albiona explains. “They need you to take the parental lead and keep a safe space for them because they know their emotions can’t be regulated by them alone, and they don’t know what to do with all their power. So in that moment, just clearly and concisely state the boundary.”
Dealing with a strong-willed kid can be challenging, but by keeping the emotion out of your response and setting firm boundaries, you’re teaching your child that you’re there to support them and help them regulate their own emotions. And that can make a world of difference for you both.
If there’s one thing that’s constant for teenage girls, no matter when they grow up, it’s friendship drama. Navigating social circles as a tween or teen can be daunting, but a therapist on TikTok is sharing her best tips—and parents (and their teens) are going to want to take note.
Dr. Kimberley Palmiotto, a therapist, school psychologist, and mom of four girls, is clearly qualified to speak on the subject. In her TikTok video, she shared her top recommendation for teen girls navigating shifting friendships (hint: it’s all about balance).
“Providing your daughter with multiple social opportunities might help her to balance the challenges that come with some of her friendships as she gets older,” Palmiotto says in the video. “The more social circles she has, the more choices are available. So, when one circle gets challenging, she has the opportunity to move to the other.”
Is it really that simple? Palmiotto says so. According to her video, parents should encourage their daughters to make friends in different areas of life: sports, church, family, school, passions and hobbies, etc.
“They’re all really important to nurture, all of them, by just keeping in touch and finding ways to connect every now and again,” she adds. “I have seen girls that have a variety of friend groups navigate the normal drama that can come with adolescence much easier than girls that don’t. As parents, we can’t control the social situations, but we can be there to support her when they’re challenging and help her by providing spaces that help nurture that variety of friendships.”
When you think about it, this advice makes sense. As adults, we tend to have multiple groups of friends from different areas (and times) of our lives. So kids who start this practice early will be better prepared with the skills and practice to keep up relationships with different friend groups, even if they don’t see all their friends all the time.
In the comments, viewers noted that Palmiotto’s advice rings true for them.
“To this day I have rotating friendships even as an adult, and it’s amazing having so many people from different walks of life 🥰,” one person wrote. Another added, “This!! I had difficulty with school friends and my neighborhood friends were such a safe space.”
There are some things you should avoid when dealing with an angry kid
Remember the little being who followed you everywhere, depended on you for everything, and probably thought you could do no wrong? Well if that little being is now a tween, you’ve likely noticed that none of that applies anymore. Gone are the days of the child you created gazing at you lovingly, wanting only to be by your side. Enter a small human who is finding their independence, experiencing changing hormones for the first time, and coincidentally finding everything you do annoying.
This is not an easy time for parents. But you’d do yourself a favor to remember that it’s an even harder time for kids and be careful not to poke the bear. The tween years are a time when parents really need to be the adult in the room, and sometimes that requires disregarding your feelings and carefully communicating with your child. Here are a few things you should never say or do when dealing with a pissed-off tween.
Don’t tell them, “It’s not a big deal.”
Your tween should be given the space to have feelings and react to things. Saying “it’s not a big deal,” invalidates those feelings. According to Dr. Lauren Allerhand PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, “The absolute number one thing is validation. Our emotions are a communication tool. They let the other people know how we feel and help us get our needs met.” Foster a safe space for your child to tell you what’s bothering them without feeling belittled or brushed aside. This is the kind of reinforcement we crave even as adults.
Don’t take things personally.
As our kids grow up, they grow into their independence, which is a good thing. But it’s totally normal for parents to feel rejected at times. When your child lashes out or needs their space—don’t take it personally. “All too often parents personalize some of the distance that occurs and misinterpret it as a willful refusal or maybe oppositional behavior,” says Catherine Steiner-Adair, a Harvard psychologist. “This is a time when children really start to have secrets from us and parents who have a low tolerance for that transition—they want to know everything—can alienate their children by being too inquisitive.”
Don’t match their anger with anger.
It can be difficult when your child becomes angry very quickly or seems to overreact at the smallest inconvenience. But it’s super important to remember that your growing child is less equipped to handle big feelings than you, as an adult, are. “The prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brains involved in problem solving and impulse control, isn’t fully developed until your mid-to-late twenties. Adolescents are also flush with hormones like testosterone and estrogen, which can have a significant impact on mood,” says Dr. Allerhand.
Don’t try to control your child’s emotions.
Has anyone ever effectively been able to control your emotions? The answer is probably “No.” So why do we sometimes expect that we can control the way our kids feel? “It’s okay and natural for a child to be angry at times, as long as that anger is expressed appropriately,” advises Empowering Parents. “So, do not ask, ‘How do I prevent my child from getting angry?’ Instead, ask, ‘How do I get my child to behave appropriately when they get angry?'”
This doesn’t work with toddlers, it doesn’t work with young kids, it doesn’t even work with adults. “It tells the child that expressing emotions is not accepted or appropriate. It tells the distressed child to stop because they are ‘too much,'” says Rachael Snyder, a clinical psychotherapist specializing in teen anxiety, depression, and trauma. “There are adults that hold in or bottle up their emotions because at one point of their life, they were told it’s not OK to express those.”
Don’t center your own feelings.
Yes, your teen watched the entire season of The Baby-Sitters Club after repeatedly refusing your excited invitations. Then you may have said, “Why did you watch this without me when I’ve been begging you to watch it with me for months?” At which point your tween rolled their eyes at you, sighed like they’ve never before been so inconvenienced, and marched back to their room. This could easily devolve into a fight and is a good time to remember that your tween doesn’t hate you or hate spending time with you. Step back, and resist centering yourself.
Let them vent.
As a parent, it’s hard not to try to fix things. We’re so used to tending to every need our infants, toddlers, and young children have that when they begin to grow out of that necessity, we have a hard time recognizing that they’ve grown out of it. Think about your own behaviors here, and how often you just need your friends and family to be a sounding board for what you’re going through. Give your kids the benefit of this—and allow them to vent to you without attempting to “fix” whatever is wrong.
Ever wonder how your sign and your child’s zodiac sign stack up? Similar to those classic partner astrology compatibility charts, this one takes a look at how you and your progeny likely get on. This particular version is based on sun signs—how you see yourself, the person you are becoming, and your general personality. Of course, nurture has plenty to do with your bond, but the stars have their own way of aligning things. (P.S. If you’re curious how the next year is going to play out for you and your little one, dig a bit deeper into the toddler zodiac).
Note: Chart is read as Child X Parent
The Aries Child
Aries X Aries: Lots of feisty energy in this combo! You can embrace your inner child together, but it is very important to work through aggression and impulsiveness. Be the model for your little one.
Aries X Taurus: Your job is to keep your impulsive Aries kiddo on track. Aries have lots of passionate beginnings, but often burn out their energy before seeing things through. You are the perfect guide to teach them how to do so.
Aries X Gemini: It will always be important for you two to keep an open line of communication. You guys are a fun pair who love to socialize. You will always have lots of friends and events to go to, keeping you busy.
Aries X Cancer: You are here to nurture your Aries kid's inner child (we know how that sounds). Let them play and enjoy life. Don’t forget to get in on the action—they’ll love to have you in the pretend play mix.
Aries X Leo: Such a lively parent and child pair! You guys are the life of the party wherever you go. Your challenge will be managing both of your fiery personalities and learning to keep your cool.
Aries X Virgo: You have a little firecracker on your hands, Virgo! You can keep calm and cool in most situations, and it’s your job to help your impulsive Aries child learn to do the same.
Aries X Libra: Your Aries child will be your BFF. While they love to do things independently, your gentle guidance and peace-keeping ability will come in handy when they get hot-tempered.
Aries X Scorpio: Your Aries child is here to remind you of your inner child—you are still a kid at heart, after all! Enjoy these times with them as they won’t stay this little forever.
Aries X Sagittarius: The “dynamic duo” of the parent and child world. Sagittarius loves to learn and teach, and Aries is the eternal child, always seeking some loving guidance. No better person to share your wisdom with!
Aries X Capricorn: Your Aries kid may struggle to complete or stay focused on tasks. Good thing you are skilled at helping them see the bigger picture and encouraging them to not give up to get there.
Aries X Aquarius: Talk about two people who love their freedom! You both need room to explore and be yourselves. You will always have each other to do this with.
Aries X Pisces: This little firecracker kiddie will spark something in you, Pisces! Teach them to get in touch with their creative side and express themselves.
The Taurus Child
Taurus X Taurus: You will fully understand each other but just cannot be rushed. You two can experience life together through your senses: good food, sensory play, nature time and lots of creating art.
Taurus X Gemini: As quick as you are, Gemini, you cannot rush your Taurus little. You have to respect not only their time, but that they truly only want to do things once and do them right. While you like lots of options, they do not. You must learn to work with that.
Taurus X Cancer: A very loving and affectionate duo you two are. You know just how to comfort your Taurus little, something they seek a lot. You are truly their caretaker, and they love every minute of it.
Taurus X Leo: Your Taurus kid will always be teaching you how to take your time and be more grounded. You both enjoy the finer things in life—this will be your foodie BFF for life.
Taurus X Virgo: You are both practical, hard-working and down-to-earth. And you both prefer life to be easygoing and chill. Together you can take adventures to push you out of your comfort zones.
Taurus X Libra: Both of your ruling planets are Venus. You will find your Taurus kid loving all the pretty and shiny things, just like you. Together you will see the world through rose-colored glasses.
Taurus X Scorpio: While the Scorpio parent can be a bit intense, your Taurus little will teach you how to ground your emotions! But be careful, you can both be on the stubborn side. Don’t let it get the best of you.
Taurus X Sagittarius: Your Taurus kid is here to teach you some patience. You will learn they will do everything on their own time and you cannot rush them.
Taurus X Capricorn: You are here to teach your Taurus tot a bit about flexibility as they can be a bit reluctant to move! No better person than you, a sign who can move mountains.
Taurus X Aquarius: Your Taurus kid tends to stay in their comfort zone, but you, the Aquarius parent, like to push limits. Teaching them to try new things (safely) will always be your job.
Taurus X Pisces: Your Taurus kid is very practical, while you are a bit more dreamy. They are meant to show you grounding and stability, things that you probably crave.
Taurus X Aries: Opposites attract: As an Aries parent, you are really good at getting things started, and your Taurus kid has the endurance to help you see things through. Don’t rush your little one, though. We know how fast you can be, Aries.
The Gemini Child
Gemini X Gemini: THE ACTUAL TWINS! You two will be the social host and hostesses with the mostesses. It is important to work through indecisiveness together as well as nurture their sharp wit.
Gemini X Cancer: Your Gemini babe needs to be out and about socializing to thrive, while you are more of a homebody. Always remember to give them choices and let them have lots of fun. It’s okay if they don't want to be at home much—you need to get out, too.
Gemini X Leo: There might be a little bit of drama associated with this duo. Leo is so outstanding, and the Gemini kiddo loves to initiate the fun. You two will never have a dull moment.
Gemini X Virgo: Both signs are ruled by Mercury, meaning you will be one very busy pair! Nobody will ever question your abilities to get stuff done. You live by lists and schedules and always support each other in completing your to-dos.
Gemini X Libra: Talk about a fashionable parent and child pair. You two are always on point in the fashion department and tend to set the trends.
Gemini X Scorpio: Your Gemini kid is going to show you how to be a bit lighter, Scorpio. They have a fun, lighthearted air that will do you some good.
Gemini X Sagittarius: Together you two are meant to explore the world and learn through experience. Your Gemini kid will be your favorite person to go on trips with, meet new people and even try new foods with. You’ll cherish the memories.
Gemini X Capricorn: Your Gemini child will teach you how to communicate in so many ways! Their openness and intelligence will inspire you, and their wit will keep you on your toes.
Gemini X Aquarius: This parent/child combo are the networking masters. They can befriend anyone. Put them on a playground, and they’ll come back with a whole new group of BFFs.
Gemini X Pisces: You two have very different modes of communication. Your Gemini’s quick intelligence and gift of gab will seriously impress you and inspire you to find your inner voice.
Gemini X Aries: The social butterflies! You two will make lots of friends and wow any crowd. Communication will be the foundation of your relationship.
Gemini X Taurus: It will be your job to ground your flighty little Gemini and help them make decisions, as they often struggle with indecisiveness. Always offer them a set of options: Making that choice helps them feel more secure.
The Cancer Child
Cancer X Cancer: The emotions run high with this pair. You are both sensitive and intuitive. It is your task to teach your little—and yourself—not to be scared to face things head on rather than side-stepping through life like the Cancer crab.
Cancer X Leo: The Leo parent is tasked with nurturing their little Moonchild is a very big way. Your child will appreciate you showering them with both attention and affection.
Cancer X Virgo: The Virgo parent will always be the one who helps, and the Cancer kid loves the extra attention and guidance. While the Virgo parent will teach them how to analyze everything, the Cancer child will teach them to feel the feels.
Cancer X Libra: One of the sweetest and most loving duos. Libras nurture in their own very special way, and the Cancer kid eats that up. Libra is probably the best to guide them through all their emotions.
Cancer X Scorpio: You two ride emotional waves as water signs. You are both empathic and sensitive and can pick up on each other's moods nonverbally. You have a very special, almost psychic connection.
Cancer X Sagittarius: The Sag parent will have to teach the Cancer child that it’s safe to leave home and explore. The Cancer child will show the Sag parent that being home is necessary, too, and can even be fun.
Cancer X Capricorn: The Capricorn parent is tasked with balancing both their career and home life, as Cap is associated with work life. No better kiddo than the family-oriented Cancer kid to show you how to be the CEO Soccer Mom/Dad.
Cancer X Aquarius: Your Cancer kid is sweet, kind and emotional, and it will melt your heart, Aquarius. You will be singing the tune: “I never knew there was a love like this before”.
Cancer X Pisces: You are both on the more sensitive side and enjoy the comfort of your home. Create a home that is like your castle, so you will both always feel safe and secure.
Cancer X Aries: You have a sensitive and emotional little one on your hands. Family is of the utmost importance to them. With your noble spirit, you provide them that comfort and safety they so crave.
Cancer X Taurus: You two thrive at home. Lots of family time, honoring your inner nurturers and snuggling up together. There isn’t a sweeter pair.
Cancer X Gemini: While you might like to be the social butterfly, your Cancer little is a bit more of a homebody. You two can balance each other out and find harmony in this. Make sure you get your Moonchild out of the house and they will make sure you enjoy restorative time at home.
Leo X Leo: Another feisty and fiery pair! Together you two know how to bring the sass and the fun—you’re always a good time to be around.
Leo X Virgo: You two will always motivate and encourage each other to be your very best. You are each other's biggest fans.
Leo X Libra: You two are a pair that catches the eye no matter where you go. The Leo child will always shine bright, and the Libra parent is always so put-together. We see you.
Leo X Scorpio: This is a pair that knows how to bring the intensity! Scorpio is quite fiery for a water sign, so the emotions and dramatics can run a bit high. Be wary of mood swings and work on staying level-headed together.
Leo X Sagittarius: Your Leo will be your loving little lion cub, Sag. They will always respect and admire your wisdom and want to learn from you. They are the best little protege.
Leo X Capricorn: While the Capricorn parent may seem on the conservative or classic side, the Leo kid is going to break that chain with their sass and golden auras. They are something else, and you will love it.
Leo X Aquarius: You both exude bravery and confidence. You will be okay with your Leo little testing limits because you were once that person, too. You’ve got this, Aquarius.
Leo X Pisces: Having a child that isn't scared of the limelight is kind of inditimating to you, Pisces. You can learn a thing or two from their fearlessness. Let them show you how to be brave.
Leo X Aries: Talk about a passionate pair! Your Leo child will love the spotlight, especially with your encouraging nature. Just watch the dramatics—two fire signs can be quite extra.
Leo X Taurus: Oh Taurus, your little Leo is going to give you a run for your money. You just gotta love ‘em, though—they will always be bold, brave and outstanding. Always try to nurture their inner performer and they will thrive.
Leo X Gemini: Your little Leo wants alllll of your attention. It is important you take the time to stop the millions of things you do and give them some undivided time. They thrive when they know they have their parents all to themselves.
Leo X Cancer: Your Leo child is going to get you out of your shell. You can learn a thing or two from them by watching them own the spotlight.
The Virgo Child
Virgo X Virgo: You two appear to be quiet and reserved, but you're both just taking in your environment and other people. You are here to remind one another that perfection does not exist and to take it easy once in a while.
Virgo X Libra: Both the Libra parent and the Virgo kid thrive when their spaces are clean, uncluttered and harmonious. It suits you both to be on the minimal and organized side as chaos is neither of your jams.
Virgo X Scorpio: You both really love learning and have a laser focus. (I see lots of time spent watching documentaries and going to museums in your future.) Your Virgo’s ability to break down information to better understand it will truly impress you.
Virgo X Sagittarius: While your Virgo kid is excellent at mastering the details and breaking down everything to understand it, you can show them the bigger picture so they aren't so fussy. Teach them to be more easygoing, as they can be a little uptight.
Virgo X Capricorn: A more serious pair, you two are here to learn how to have some fun together! Life needs to have some play mixed in with all the work, after all. Learn to let go.
Virgo X Aquarius: Your Virgo kid's mind works quite differently than yours, Aquarius. Observe them, guide them and ask yourself what you can learn from them.
Virgo X Pisces: The Pisces brain is imaginative, while the Virgo brain is analytical. You are the best person to teach them to see beyond the facts, as well as not to beat themselves up over perfection.
Virgo X Aries: You two have a knack for getting stuff done. You really know how to take initiative and your little Virgo loves to take things apart, analyze and perfect. The last thing anyone would call you two is lazy.
Virgo X Taurus: You are a pair of two very grounded, down-to-earth Earth signs. Teach your little Virgo not to be so hard on themselves and remember not to set unattainable standards or goals for them—they really beat themselves up.
Virgo X Gemini: Two Mercurial planets aligned. While the Gemini parent is one busy bee, having a solid schedule is what will help your Virgo little thrive. Setting routines and sticking to them (yes, Gemini) will be best for you both.
Virgo X Cancer: While you are very into your feelings, your Virgo kid is more analytical. You feel; they think. You can each teach each other something about one another.
Virgo X Leo: You two are both ambitious go-getters. While the Leo parent is here to teach the Virgo child not to be so hard on themselves, the Virgo kid will actually teach the Leo parent all about minimalism and structure.
The Libra Child
Libra X Libra: The Libra parent and Libra child are another pair of besties. Libra thrives in partnerships, and there is no bond stronger than that of parent and child.
Libra X Scorpio: The Scorpio parent can be a little impatient, but your Libra child’s even and peaceful temperament will help you learn to be more mindful. They will show you how to handle things with grace.
Libra X Sagittarius: Your Libra tot loves to do everything with you. While a Sagittarius prides themself on their independence, having your Libra along for the ride brightens your world.
Libra X Capricorn: Your Libra kid is literally going to show you the beauty of life. Because of them, you will find yourself noticing every flower, sparkle, seashell and color that you were probably letting pass by before. Soak it in.
Libra X Aquarius: A pair that enjoys intelligent conversation and are equally as charming. That little Libra will win your heart and be the best baby date you’ll ever have!
Libra X Pisces: This pair is another undercover super combo! You are two of the kindest and most loving of the signs—you will just get along famously.
Libra X Aries: This combo of sister signs is like yin and yang. Where you will always be teaching your Libra independence, they will teach you the importance of relying on others, too. You two will always balance each other out.
Libra X Taurus: Two Venus-ruled signs with a love of beautiful things. Whether it’s fashion, art, interior design or jewelry. . . together you two will make this world a more aesthetically pleasing place.
Libra X Gemini: Your Libra little is your BFF, your road dog, the child who will care for you when you are sick and not put you in a home when you are old. You’ve got each other for life.
Libra X Cancer: Such an ideal pair! Libra kids love nothing more than being with their parents, and there is nothing more that a Cancer parent loves than being a parent.
Libra X Leo: Both of these signs have a certain love for love. Your Libra offspring will be very attached to you the more you shower them with love. And let’s face it, you both love the attention.
Libra X Virgo: Virgo, you are being tasked with encouraging your Libra little to be a bit more independent. Show them by example—let them know they can do hard things alone.
The Scorpio Child
Scorpio X Scorpio: Whenever we see the same sign, we know you are meant to be each other’s mirror: the good, the bad, the ups, the downs and all that comes with it. You will always be this to each other.
Scorpio X Sagittarius: You both share a deep love of learning. You are tasked with showing them how to lighten up and let go a little. These little ones are intense, but your optimism is contagious.
Scorpio X Capricorn: The Capricorn parent can be very calm, which is something your intense Scorpio child will need from you. Show them how to manage their emotions, leading by example with your cool, collected ways.
Scorpio X Aquarius: Aquarius and Scorpio are two who will fight to the death for a good cause. There is no better parent than Aquarius to teach a Scorpio kid humanitarianism at such a young age.
Scorpio X Pisces: The funny thing about this combo is you both need a lot of rest! You pick up on each other’s emotions very easily, so it is important to conserve (and restore) your energy.
Scorpio X Aries: Now this is a case of true opposites, but both sprinkled with sass. While Aries is bold and outgoing; Scorpio is much more secretive and introverted. Learning to respect each other’s way of being will be to your highest good.
Scorpio X Taurus: Where you are grounded and stable, your Scorpio little is a bit of a mystery to you. Teaching them trust is the biggest thing you can do for them. Embrace their love for learning and they will teach you in return.
Scorpio X Gemini: The intensity of a Scorpio little might be a bit much for you as such an easygoing Gem, but you guys are meant to be each other’s mirror. You will show them how to be lighthearted, and they will teach you to have some depth.
Scorpio X Cancer: While you are both quite empathic and emotional, you must nurture their deep little souls and show them what love truly is. You earn love with these littles.
Scorpio X Leo: You two will be each other’s greatest lessons. The Leo parent will help the Scorpio child to be more extroverted, and the Scorpio little can teach the Leo parent a few things about privacy and spending time alone.
Scorpio X Virgo: Nothing gets by either one of you! A kid will NOT put up with white lies or bribes, a Virgo parent can analyze anything you say to them. We wouldn’t mess with this team.
Scorpio X Libra: Fairness will always be very important to you both. Keep that in mind when parenting your Scorpio kid, who might have a tendency to be a bit extreme.
The Sagittarius Child
Sagittarius X Sagittarius: You and your little Sag will want to have the spotlight so get ready to share. Teach them the wisdom of your years and get re-invigorated with their zest for life.
Sagittarius X Capricorn: You have a fun-loving and joyful little kiddo on your hands, though they can sometimes be a wild one. Where they are spirited, you are peaceful. Where they are extra, you are grounded. No better parent to teach them boundaries in these situations.
Sagittarius X Aquarius: You two are so similar yet so different. Your Sagittarius little will teach you how to enjoy life a bit more and not take everything so seriously.
Sagittarius X Pisces: The ideas are just endless with the Pisces parent and Sag child. Your Sag kid's ability to focus on the big picture will inspire your imagination. No limit to what you can create together.
Sagittarius X Aries: While both are fire signs, Sagittarius has that free spirit streak that might make a controlling Aries a little crazy. Encourage them to be who they are and let them be free.
Sagittarius X Taurus: Your little Sag is probably always on the go. They want to explore and, in the future, travel. While you are more of a homebody, it is important they always get to spread their wings with a loving home to return to.
Sagittarius X Gemini: Another profound set of sister signs. Together you will explore the world, learn about different cultures, be fearless in trying new things and grow through experience. You have a beautiful journey ahead.
Sagittarius X Cancer: While your Sag kid is the happiest baby on the block, they might not be as affectionate as you are. Doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just need to be free to express their love in their own way.
Sagittarius X Leo: Meet your match, Leo! Your Sag kid will out-spunk you, outwit you and out-drama you. But you’ll have the best time together, as they are a tough kid to stay mad at.
Sagittarius X Virgo: Your Sagittarius little one will teach you to see the bigger picture, while it will always be your job to teach them to slow down and not overlook the details.
Sagittarius X Libra: You two are both such good-natured souls. Libra, you like to operate in a pair or partnership, while your Sag kiddo is quite independent. You have to give them that space they need to grow.
Sagittarius X Scorpio: You are the pair who is ready for an adventure. Your Sagittarius tot will happily lead you places you always wanted to go, but now you get to share these magical experiences through their joyous hearts.
Capricorn X Capricorn: A sure set of old souls who found each other. You will always be your Capricorn child's teacher, and they, the consummate overachievers—yep, even as little ones. They will continue to make you proud as they grow.
Capricorn X Aquarius: This duo will be each other’s greatest lesson. Your Capricorn child will teach you hard work and discipline and you will teach them how to let go and have fun.
Capricorn X Pisces: It might surprise you to have a child who seems like a little adult. Encourage them to play and be a kid through creative activities.
Capricorn X Aries: Strong-willed is the theme for you both. You’re hard workers and goal-oriented individuals—together you can take over the world.
Capricorn X Taurus: You are both extremely hard-working, so it’s important you remember to play and enjoy life. You share similar qualities of patience, calmness and loyalty. This babe will be your best friend for life.
Capricorn X Gemini: You are here to help your little old soul Cappy be less serious and somber and to have some fun. In return, they will teach you how to focus on your goals, see the bigger picture and be a bit less flaky.
Capricorn X Cancer: You are here to love on these little old souls. While they teach you the importance of hard work, you teach them how to love and nurture.
Capricorn X Leo: The Leo parent loves their role as the leader of the pack, and their Capricorn child is the perfect little cub. They appreciate a parent that will always protect and guide them.
Capricorn X Virgo: This is a pair that has success written all over them. Your Capricorn little is always the first to reach their milestones, and you couldn’t be prouder.
Capricorn X Libra: These two signs may seem quite different, but you’re both Cardinal signs, which means you are the pioneers. You’re the first to get things started and spark ideas. You are both natural-born leaders, and others will always turn to you.
Capricorn X Scorpio: The two old souls of the Zodiac! It must feel like you’ve known each other for lifetimes, and you probably do. You two are one of the most unlikely peas in a pod, but that you are.
Capricorn X Sagittarius: You two are another ambitious and motivated duo. No one can stop you guys from achieving your dreams. You both think big, but your Capricorn kid will help you keep things a little more realistic.
The Aquarius Child
Aquarius X Aquarius: A double Aquarius, you are meant to be innovative leaders. Together you will show the world a better way and to be more open-minded and kindhearted.
Aquarius X Pisces: Your Aquarius kid is a love, but it probably amazes you they aren't as emotional as you are. Aquarius are known to have a good grip on this. Perhaps they are here to teach you the same.
Aquarius X Aries: The Aquarius child is truly an individual. They have a secret superpower of staying calm in the tensest of situations, and this will come in handy with the passionate and impulsive Aries parent.
Aquarius X Taurus: Your Aquarius kid loves freedom—and loves to test you. Stay cool, Taurus. They do it because they love you. Patience is a virtue, especially in this duo.
Aquarius X Gemini: “Let’s get weird” should be this pairing's motto. The weirder, the better and certainly, the more fun. Embrace the odd and silly side of life together. You’ll have way more fun than conforming to the norm.
Aquarius X Cancer: Cancer parents, you have to love having an unconventional kiddo. You want to love all over them, but they just want to do their thing. Give them space—they’ll still always need your support.
Aquarius X Leo: A pair of rebels! You both love doing your own thing and not being told what to do. You two show the world it’s okay to march to the beat of your own drum.
Aquarius X Virgo: Your Aquarius kid is here to shake up your routine. While the Virgo parent likes schedules and order, the Aquarius child learns differently. Let them do their own thing.
Aquarius X Libra: The Libra parent is tasked with teaching the freedom-seeking Aquarius child some boundaries. It may seem the Aquarius little is fearless; encourage them to be brave while being cautious.
Aquarius X Scorpio: The Scorpio parent and Aquarius kid weren’t born to fit in. They were born to break molds and shock everyone. You are both humanitarians at heart, and we can’t wait to watch you make waves.
Aquarius X Sagittarius: Meet your mini-me, Sagittarius. Your Aquarius kid will walk your walk and talk your talk! It will always be a trip to see how much they remind you of yourself.
Aquarius X Capricorn: Your Aquarius kid may be quite the rebel. Where you relish control and order, they love to have their freedom. You two will always be figuring out this balance.
The Pisces Child
Pisces X Pisces: We can only imagine the creativity coming out of this Pisces/Pisces pair. You two inspire others and are the muses of this world.
Pisces X Aries: Encourage your dreamy Pisces babe through their creative streak. Show them to have courage and always stand tall. They will always lean on you for this kind of support.
Pisces X Taurus: What a creative pair you two are. It will be your job to help your emotional Pisces babe get a handle on those feelings and express them through art, music and other creative outlets.
Pisces X Gemini: Together you two will need to discover grounding. You’re both big dreamers, but you often drift from reality. Learn to use your imaginations but also come back to the real world.
Pisces X Cancer: You are the perfect parent to nurture the emotional needs of the Pisces little one. They crave your love, caring and attention. Lots of hugs and snuggles with this duo.
Pisces X Leo: You two share common ground in needing to express yourself through your creative side. Encourage your Pisces kid to explore the arts and watch them flourish.
Pisces X Virgo: You two are here to balance each other out. A Pisces kid will teach the structured, analytical Virgo parent how to go with the flow and be more creative.
Pisces X Libra: You will always be your Pisces kid’s safe space because you provide fairness and harmony in every environment. Pisces kiddos need lots of security and reassurance, and you are the perfect parent for that.
Pisces X Scorpio: Your Pisces little one is certainly a sweetheart. They will warm your heart with their loving and tender ways. You’ll be butter to their charm.
Pisces X Sagittarius: Your Pisces child will teach you how to express your creative side. While they may seem more geared toward the arts and you toward wisdom, you still love to learn, especially from them.
Pisces X Capricorn: You two may seem like the odd couple—the business-orientated Capricorn parent and the dreamy, imaginative Pisces child. But you are each here to teach the other your ways.
Pisces X Aquarius: A Pisces child views the world through rose-colored glasses, while the Aquarius parent is a bit more of a realist. They will teach you to use your imagination more than ever before.
A mom and therapist explains after-school restraint collapse, a phenomenon you’ve probably experienced on a regular basis
Have you ever had that parent-teacher conference where your kid’s teacher insists they’re a perfect angel in the classroom and you think, Are you sure you’ve got the right kid? Because when 3 p.m. rolls around and they get home, they start bouncing off the walls, bickering with each other, talking back to you, and generally acting like they’re completely uncivilized. It turns out, you’re not alone—and there’s even a name for this phenomenon: after-school restraint collapse. It’s a completely common thing, and once you learn more, you’ll totally get it.
Lindsay Adams, a child therapist and mom on TikTok, explains it as what happens to some kids after they “hold in” their emotions all day at school (those of us on the neurodivergent spectrum might know this as “masking”). Once they get home, they’re out of the energy required to hold in those feelings, so out they come. Kids, who are still learning how to be social and interact with one another and their teachers, often have a hard time doing that all day while also absorbing all the lessons they have to learn.
When you think about it, restraint collapse is actually kind of a positive thing. It means that home is your kid’s safe space, where they feel comfortable enough to let all those emotions go and be themselves, even when that means being grumpy or tired.
Luckily, there are things you can do to help your kids manage after-school restraint collapse.
“Plan for the transition,” Adams recommends. “Know what they struggle with at that time of day and set them up for success. Structure their day in a way that allows them to do a calming or coping activity right when they get home or do a physical activity right when they get home.”
Kids that are more emotional, tired, or withdrawn may need more downtime and purposeful space, whereas high-energy kids would benefit from more physical movement.
“It could even be just going outside and hanging out outside, doing chalk, doing something creative. Really the things you wanna focus on are creativity, sensory stuff, and physical activity.”
She also says it’s important to “be patient with them for the first few weeks [of school] while they’re adjusting because it’s always going to happen—but it’s probably going to be more intense during transition periods where they’re getting used to going to school.”
With back-to-school season in full swing, this is a good reminder for parents. Be a little more forgiving—transitions are hard for everyone, even kids.
Got little night owls at home? Consider taking them to these kid-friendly after-dark activities throughout San Diego
San Diego offers so much family fun during the day (not to mention free family fun!) that parents often sleep on nighttime activities, literally! Instead of sticking to your regularly scheduled bedtime routine, why not treat your little monkeys jumping on the bed to an after-dark adventure! We’ve rounded up a bunch of kid-friendly things to do in San Diego at night with family, from drive-in movies to roller rinks. And if neon lights aren’t enticing enough, many of the best San Diego night activities for kids are outdoors—and under the stars! Read on to plan an evening out on the town with your little night owls.
Roll it out with the whole family in the evening at Skateworld, a family run business that prides itself on creating an enjoyable, safe space for skaters to move and groove, no matter what age—or what time! With skate sessions for all ages, skate school, and other roller sports, there is something for everyone! And you can’t beat the trip down memory lane: Parents, show your kids your favorite moves from when you were little. You’ll find disco lights, great music, and lots of laughs.
Insider Tip: Be sure not to show up for a late-night skate with the little ones on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays. From 8-11 p.m., those nights are adults only.
Whether you hit the lanes and enjoy the neon lights or you try a roll at cosmic bowling, the bowling alley at nearby Bowlero in San Marcos is a family favorite for a little kid-friendly competition, all while grabbing a bite to eat. With 40 bowling lanes, you’ll always have a turn—and for kids less interested in knocking over pins, an action-packed arcade is on site.
Bowlero
945 San Marcos Blvd.
San Marcos, CA Online:amf.com
All sorts of nighttime adventure awaits at this beachside carnival. Twirl around in the ice cream cone-themed pods on the Tilt a Whirl or defy gravity and take a dive on Zero Gravity, the popular space-themed ride.
Insider Tip: Tag, you’re it! Don’t sleep on laser tag at Belmont Park: Little game players love tagging each other in the foggy darkness lit up with laser lights, and parents can appreciate how the laser vest must fit comfortably to play.
No need to pack up the towels and sand toys just because the sun is setting. Instead, break out the marshmallows and skewers for s’mores beachside! Many beaches have fire pits available on a first come, first serve basis, including Coronado Beach and San Elijo State Beach in Cardiff. Fires have to be out by midnight, but the little ones will be fast asleep by then.
Coronado Beach
838 Ocean Blvd.
Coronado, CA Online:sandiego.org
San Elijo State Beach
2050 S Coast Hwy 101
Cardiff, CA Online:parks.ca.gov
Drive-in movies aren’t just a thing of the past! Places like the Santee Drive-In and South Bay Drive-In offer current releases—several are family-friendly!—from the comfort of your own car. Bring food with you or buy classic movie night snacks from the concession stand. Make sure everyone takes a nap because they often show double features! Prefer to keep it simple? San Diego has plenty of family-friendly movie theaters, car not required.
What could be more magical than spending the evening gazing at stars with your little astronomers? There are plenty of opportunities for “star parties” with the San Diego Astronomy Association, which has an observation site in East County—although you’ll need your own equipment. Or, go out on your own! Check out these top sites in San Diego that are ideal for stargazing.
Tierra del Sol Observing Site
961 Tierra De Luna Rd.
Boulevard, CA Online:sdaa.org
Camping next to a rhinoceros? Brushing your teeth with a giraffe? Well, not quite, but the San Diego Zoo’s Safari Park does offer overnight “Roar & Snore” excursions appropriate for all ages. Sleep in one of the park’s tents and enjoy after-hours tours of wildlife, camp activities, and guided walks, complete with dinner and breakfast the following morning. Who knows, you may even get to hear a lion roar, as the event title suggests!
San Diego Zoo Safari Park
15500 San Pasqual Valley Rd.
Escondido, CA Online:sdzsafaripark.org
Additional reporting by Michelle Franklin & Beth Shea
Here’s how to emerge from this stage of parenting with your nerves intact
When kids hit the older elementary and tween years, they’ve usually mastered some of the skills you dreamed about when they were toddlers: dressing themselves, picking up their gear, and making their own lunches. Yay, you’ve got this parenting thing down! And that’s when it starts—the talking back. You know, the mumbling under the breath or the angry swearing. Whatever it may be, as parents, it’s our job to deal with the sassy attitude in an effective and understandable way. It’s easy to opt for “because I said so” or “you’re being ridiculous” when you don’t feel like explaining yourself, but that’s not going to help your case. If anything, it might make it worse.
With that in mind, we asked therapists to offer their thoughts on how parents should deal with kids talking back. In hopes of making sure everyone emerges from this stage of parenting with their nerves intact, here are six phrases to avoid using with a kid who backtalks (and what to say instead).
1. “Because I said so..”
We’ve all heard this before, even from our own parents at one point or another. Sometimes it’s easier to use this phrase because it puts a dead end in the conversation. However, it doesn’t provide any reason or clarification for the answer you just provided.
“This approach completely disregards and invalidates your teens’ feelings about the situation which will only escalate their frustrations more. Giving them a reason for why you are saying no and then also opening the door for further communication about the issue will give your child the opportunity to feel heard and to express their feelings,” says Nicholette Leanza, LPCC-S, a therapist at LifeStance Health.
Let’s say, for example, you don’t want your teen to go out with a group of friends who might not be a positive influence. Instead of saying “Because I said so” you may want to say something along the lines of “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with you going out with this group of friends. Can we talk about it?”
2. “You can’t talk to me like that.”
This might be a knee-jerk response when your kiddo comes at you with a sassy attitude or starts talking back, but you want to try your best to avoid saying this. “When you acknowledge your teen’s frustration or anger, they will feel heard and, hopefully, this will help to notch down the intensity of their emotion. It’s also important to set a boundary with them so they are clear that the expectation is that they approach you in a respectful manner. Don’t forget that when you show them respect, they’ll reflect it back to you,” says Leanza.
For example, instead of saying, “You can’t talk to me like that” try to say something like “I can see that you are angry, but I need you to talk to me in a respectful way.”
3. “You’re being ridiculous.”
Just because your child is saying something that seems trivial to you, it’s important to remember that their current experience and feelings are very real to them. “This response can make a child feel ashamed or embarrassed for expressing their emotions, so it is crucial that they receive validation even if their behaviors don’t agree with yours,” says Carly Kaufman, MPH, M.Ed, board-certified functional medicine health coach and co-founder of GRYT. Instead, try understanding their perspectives and find solutions together.
A more helpful alternative would be to say something like, “Let’s talk about ways we can work together to find a solution.” According to Kaufman, this response shows your willingness to listen and collaborate toward finding a solution while still setting boundaries and expectations.
4. “You are my child.”
This is one of the last things a kid or tween wants to hear when they are frustrated with their parents. “Responding with ‘I am your parent, you are my child’ can create an unhealthy power dynamic between parent and child that leads to them feeling powerless. Instead of adopting such an approach, try explaining your reasoning while acknowledging their perspective as much as possible,” says Kaufman.
A more helpful statement to try might include, “I understand your viewpoint but this issue cannot be discussed further.” Kaufman says this phrase acknowledges your child’s thoughts while maintaining boundaries and expectations between you both.
5. “You’re too young to understand.”
Reena B. Patel, a positive psychologist, and licensed educational board-certified behavior analyst, says that this statement can come across as dismissive and condescending to children with a sassy attitude or sassy teenagers, dissuading them from further interactions with you in future discussions.
A more helpful statement would be more along the lines of “What would be an equitable solution to this situation?” “This statement helps children solve problems while taking responsibility for their actions while encouraging cooperation and compromise,” says Patel.
6. “Whatever.”
As an adult, you have the tools to communicate more effectively than saying “whatever.” “Respond to the emotion, not the verbal content. Responding to the anger and frustration behind the words addresses the core feeling and will help you to calm yourself down before you respond,” says Jeanette Lorandini, LCSW and founder of Suffolk DBT.
A more helpful response would be, “I hear that you’re angry. I’m here for you and will always love you. When you’re ready, let’s talk about what’s upsetting you.” According to Lorandini, this shows them you are in control of your emotions, you are a safe space, and you are there to listen when they calm down.
A class of first graders was told they couldn’t perform “Rainbowland” by Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton because it may be “controversial”
In today’s installment of “policing what can and can’t be said in kids’ classrooms has gone way too far” news, a first grade class at a Wisconsin elementary school has been banned from performing “Rainbowland” by Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus at an upcoming concert after school officials decided it may be too “controversial.”
Melissa Tempel, a first grade teacher at Heyer Elementary in Waukesha, Wisconsin, told Today that the kids were excited about “Rainbowland’s” lyrics and message.
“It’s just a really good song about peace, love, appreciating diversity and getting along, and my students liked it so much,” Tempel said.
School officials haven’t commented to reporters, but a press release from the Waukesha School District’s public relations and communications office says the school’s principal, Mark Schneider, “checked with a central office administrator so they could review the song together and alongside our Board Policy 2240 — Controversial Issues in the Classroom.”
The press release continues, “They determined that the song could be deemed controversial in accordance with the policy.”
“Rainbowland” is a duet by Dolly Parton and Miley Cyrus that was released in 2007. It promotes ideas of friendship, cooperation, unity, and celebrating diversity.
“It’s really just about dreaming and hoping that we could all do better,” Parton said when the song was released. “It’s a good song for the times right now.”
For reference, here are the lyrics that this school district deemed “controversial:”
— The Rainbowland Teacher (@melissatempel) March 21, 2023
Miley Cyrus’ Happy Hippie Foundation has tweeted in support of the students at Heyer Elementary and pledged to donate to Pride and Less Prejudice, an organization that provides free, age-appropriate LGBTQ+ books and resources to elementary school classrooms.
To the inspiring first grade students at Heyer Elementary, keep being YOU. We believe in our Happy Hippie heart that you’ll be the ones to brush the judgment and fear aside and make all of us more understanding and accepting 🌈
— Happy Hippie Foundation (@happyhippiefdn) March 29, 2023
Tempel said no one has confirmed exactly what makes “Rainbowland” too controversial for first graders to sing, but said she believes it has to do with a school district policy that bans “political signs” in classrooms—which includes “Black Lives Matter” and “safe space” signs, and the rainbow flag.
As a replacement, Tempel said her kids plan to sing Kermit the Frog’s “Rainbow Connection” for the spring concert—now that school officials have reversed a ban they originally placed on that song, too.
“We were just floored at that point, because it seemed so bold to blatantly ban two songs that have the word ‘rainbow’ in them,” she said. “Both of which have a really positive message that’s completely appropriate for first grade.”
“Teachers are the experts? Teachers have all the knowledge? Are you kidding me?” said the school board chair.
The principal of Florida’s Tallahassee Classical School was forced to resign under pressure from the board after parents complained that sixth graders were shown a photo of Michelangelo’s classic 16th-century sculpture, David. One parent apparently even called the statue “pornographic,” in case you needed to know how fraught the education system has gotten in Florida.
Now-former principal Hope Carrasquilla has told reporters that the situation was “a little more complicated than that,” a sentiment that was echoed in a completely unhinged Q&A with the school board chair, Barney Bishop, who said, “We’re Florida, OK? Parents will decide. Parents are the ones who are going to drive the education system here in Florida. The governor said that, and we’re with the governor. Parents don’t decide what is taught. But parents know what that curriculum is. And parents are entitled to know anytime their child is being taught a controversial topic and picture.”
What the former principal and the school board chair agree on is that normally, parents get a letter warning them before something like David is shown in class. This year, due to “a series of miscommunications,” as Carrasquilla put it, the letter didn’t go out.
Carrasquilla added that one parent was “point-blank upset” and “felt her child should not be viewing those pieces.”
Carrasquilla was given the opportunity to resign “voluntarily” (with a letter of resignation given to her by Bishop) and told that if she didn’t sign the letter, the board would meet to discuss firing her with cause.
Tallahassee Classical School is a public charter school where students are chosen for admission on a lottery system. As Bishop put it, “Parents choose this school because they want a certain kind of education. We’re not gonna have courses from the College Board. We’re not gonna teach 1619 or CRT crap… The rights of parents, that trumps the rights of kids. Teachers are the experts? Teachers have all the knowledge? Are you kidding me? I know lots of teachers that are very good, but to suggest they are the authorities, you’re on better drugs than me.”
He also insisted that “classical education” is about “moral values, civic values, personal responsibility. Those are the things that aren’t being taught in schools. Along with history, science, math, art, music. We don’t have safe spaces for kids so they won’t be offended by a Halloween costume. We don’t use pronouns. We teach them phonics. We teach Singapore math. They learn to speak Latin. Every student learns a musical instrument.”
But a work of art that’s been considered a masterpiece for literal centuries? Best to protect kids from that.
