The other night was “wine night” for a few moms in my neighborhood. We do this every couple of months when we get together for our “PTO meeting” where we stay out too late, pour one too many, and hit the alarm clock more than we should the next morning. The most recent one was last week. I desperately needed a glass of wine and some girl talk, but having a five-week old baby meant that I also desperately need sleep.

Wine or sleep? Wine or sleep? (The struggle is real!)

Then the voice of a good friend came through with some words of wisdom, a piece of mom advice that I always refer back to when I’m stuck in a situation where I really want to do something, but question whether I can fit it all in.

Let me tell you this is one of the best pieces of parenting advice that I ever received. It’s simple. It’s easy. It’s a no-brainer. But for some reason, it’s something that I always had a hard time implementing until recently. Ready for it?!

Say no to things that you may really want to do if it will make your life easier.

Sounds easy, right? Who doesn’t want to make their life easier? I mean we’re told in the workforce to say no all the time. It’ll help advance your career path. It’ll lighten your load. Heck, we say no to our kids all the time! Recently I have even seen books on why it is healthy to say no. But for my type A personality I always feel like I can figure out a way to make it all happen all the while stressing myself in the process—its just my personality. For better or worse I am a people pleaser which makes exercising this “rule” pretty hard at times. It’s hard to turn down things that you or someone in your family really want to do (like go drink some wine down the street).

Truth be told, putting it into action has literally saved me time and sanity. Let me give you some examples…

That birthday party for your kid’s classmate that starts at 7:30 pm when your kid goes to bed at 8 pm. Say no. When you’re invited to somebody’s house for a weekend get-together and you already have two other things to do right before then, say no. When school asks for you to help with volunteering for the next event but you’re not sure you can pick up your other kids and make it there in time, say no. When you get invited to Adele’s concert but you’re not feeling well and coming off a work trip, say no. When you want to catch some zzz’s even though you want some gal time, go for the sleep!

I found that there is always another time for these events, invitations, volunteering, etc. There will always be more birthday parties, get togethers, school fundraisers, and even concerts to attend. Your sanity, health, and time are more important! So do as we teach our kids when it comes to drugs—JUST SAY NO! You’ll thank me for it.

Erin is a working mom of two exploring ways to embrace change and find new hobbies in her search for life outside of Corporate America. She lives in Bucks County Pennsylvania with her husband, two kids, and Boston Terrier. She also loves ice cream and chocolate. A lot.

Fall Back can send your baby’s sleep schedule into a free fall, but these tips will help you weather the storm

Looking on the bright side is a smart way to weather the wild ride of infancy. This applies to everything from blowouts (a chance to wear another outfit before baby outgrows it!) to the arrival of Daylight Saving Time, also known as National Mess-with-Your-Baby’s-Sleep-Schedule Time.

In the case of fall back (this Sunday, November 5), you have an hour less of sunlight at the end of each day, so it’s a bit harder to find the bright side. But parents know it takes some effort to see the bi-annual shuffle in a good light. With these parent-tested tips for helping baby adjust to Daylight Saving time, your child’s bedtime routine—and your sanity—can be saved.

Start Early

The best way to keep Daylight Saving Time from throwing your baby’s routine out of whack is by preparing for the change well before it hits. Successful approaches vary, but most experts suggest shifting baby’s bedtime by 15 minutes every day or two in the week or so leading up to the seasonal shift. So, if baby typically goes down around 7:30 p.m., shift bedtime forward in quarter-hour increments until you reach the “new” bedtime of 8:30, which, with the time change, will actually still be 7:30 p.m.—your child’s original bedtime.

To really make this work, you’ll want to adjust all of the day’s activities, including naps, meals, and morning wake times. “With fall back, the biggest setback tends to be early mornings,” says Amanda Jewson, sleep consultant and founder of Baby’s Best Sleep. “If your baby wakes at 5 a.m., try to delay feeds and light exposure to help train the body to wake at a later time.”

Use Light and Darkness

Light exposure has a direct influence on the body’s circadian rhythm (internal biological clock). Less light signals our body to become sleepy, while more light stimulates us to feel awake. If you’re pushing back baby’s bedtime, expose them to more natural light in the afternoon to help them stay away a bit longer. As their new bedtime hour approaches, it may already be dark outside which works to your advantage. If it’s not, close your blackout blinds (or, pro tip: attach double-sided adhesive Velcro tabs to your wall and to the back of your curtains, then press to seal the edges) to ensure that the room is pitch black when you put your baby down. In the morning, when the time is appropriate to start your day, Jewson says to throw open you blinds so baby’s body starts getting used to their new wake time.

Give It Time

Here’s the hard truth: Some babies are particularly sensitive to changes in their sleep schedule, and it can take two to four weeks for changes to really settle in, according to Jewson. So if your little one fails to get with the program at first, even after trying the above steps, hang in there. Within a week or two, their sleep schedule should catch up.

Roll with It

In the meantime, if you have a wee one who isn’t cooperating despite your best efforts, try to look on that bright side. If your babe used to go down at 7 p.m. but has temporarily shifted to 6 p.m., that probably means you can go to bed an hour earlier, too! Yes, you’ll probably be waking up an hour earlier in the morning, but think of it as a week of extra morning playtime and snuggles with your little one. “A go-with-the-flow attitude can help tremendously here,” stresses Jewson. After all, this won’t last forever. As they say, the hours surrounding DST may seem long, but the years really are short.

This year, around 175 million Americans will celebrate Halloween. On a Tuesday. As a parent of two children, I can tell you that a weekday Halloween is very tough for families with young kids. As a CEO in the celebrations industry, I can also tell you that when October 31 falls on a weeknight, fewer people celebrate the holiday.

Sometimes I like to ask obvious questions and challenge the way things are done. When people say, “That’s the way we’ve always done it,” I perk up and question their assumptions. I want to know “Is there a better way?” and “Will more people be served with a different solution?”

When it comes to Halloween, I believe there is a better way. The time is long overdue for a cultural change that will benefit society: the official observance of Halloween should be on the last Saturday of October.

Why does Halloween have to be on the 31st of every year? There are many other holidays that aren’t tied to a specific date. Thanksgiving is always the fourth Thursday in November. The same is true for Memorial Day (the last Monday in May) and Labor Day (the first Monday in September).

Related: Let the Teens Trick-or-Treat

Halloween is mostly a kids’ and family holiday, and it should fall on a day that is best for kids and families! Not convinced about #SaturdayHalloween? Here are five reasons Halloween should be observed on the last Saturday of October.

It’s healthier for kids (and parents)

Halloween is arguably the most kid-focused holiday of the entire year, and we observe it on a school night eight out of every 10 years. Who wants to get home from work, stress about dinner, try to wrangle kids into costumes, and then be out trick-or-treating way past normal bedtime? It’s all too chaotic for most families.

The next day is a mess, too. Kids wake up the next morning overtired, and parents drag themselves to work. When Halloween is observed on a Saturday, not only will it be better for kids, but it will also be better for the sanity of parents.

It’s better for schools and teachers

When October 31 falls on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, students lose not just one, but two days of productivity. Halloween itself is full of distractions, but the next day is even more challenging.

Teachers have to manage a classroom of kids who have been out all night trick-or-treating and eating candy for lunch. The combination of lack of sleep and dealing with sugar-infused children is difficult. Halloween on a Saturday solves all of this. Plus, schools can schedule their Halloween parades and events on a Friday afternoon, which will help teachers better manage their class schedules. Saturday Halloween is the right thing to do for schools and teachers.

It’s safer

Halloween is a family holiday. Its most important cultural ritual is trick-or-treating. In my own neighborhood in Massachusetts, hundreds of families flock to the most popular streets downtown that are full of cars returning home from work.

If we observe Halloween on a Saturday, trick-or-treating could begin earlier in the evening before nightfall. Local authorities could block roads to protect the busiest neighborhoods. Accidents and fatalities would be reduced. It’s time we reduce possible danger and celebrate Halloween on a Saturday.

Families can celebrate together

The majority of parents work outside the home, and a weekday Halloween makes it difficult for families to celebrate together. A weekend holiday would suit working families and enable celebrations for the whole family. Extended family could gather as they do for other major holidays, and special memories can be made.

At Punchbowl, we have the data: there are more Halloween parties on Saturday than on any other day of the week. Let’s enable even more get-togethers and family celebrations on this important, memorable holiday.

Related: Halloween Brings Us Together Like No Other Holiday Can

It benefits the economy

When Halloween falls on a Saturday, it generates more revenue for the economy than weekday Halloweens. More costumes are purchased, more parties are planned, and more food and beverages are consumed. This means more jobs and higher wages, too.

Party City reported $22 million less in sales when comparing 2016 (a Saturday Halloween) to 2017 (a Monday Halloween). The impact extends to local businesses as well. If we move the official observance of Halloween to the last Saturday of October, it would not only bolster local business, but it would also provide predictability from year to year.

There are many more reasons that Halloween should be moved to the last Saturday in October and very few we should continue the old tradition of October 31. The time has come to move our national celebration of Halloween.

This post originally appeared on MattDouglas.com.

I’m an entrepreneur, investor and startup advisor with 20+ years of experience in product management, marketing and software development. Currently, I’m the founder and CEO of Punchbowl.com.

“You can be an amazing mom, a great partner, a supportive sibling, a kind daughter, a competent coworker, a good friend, and an amazing individual”

I have spent my whole life setting myself on fire to keep everyone around me warm—sacrificing my time, emotional energy, and, quite often, my well-being and sanity for other people. It certainly wasn’t ingrained in me to do this just in motherhood. Oh no, it started far before children, when I was a kid myself. I learned to wipe my own tears, stuff down my feelings and do what was right for everyone… everyone but me.

Due to this self-sacrificing nature that my childhood demanded, I developed a trigger about taking time for myself away from my children. I was so determined not to make them put their needs aside like I had to do, that I didn’t take care of myself at all. Like seriously at all. I hated the term “self-care.” I couldn’t relate to moms who went out without their kids, literally ever. I had two pedicures in seven years, and my daughter was with me both times. I was so afraid of not being there for everyone and not taking care of my kids in the way they deserved that I held myself to an impossible standard—never allowing myself a break.

I was quite willing to happily sacrifice my last ounce of sanity and self to parenthood. Sure, I was burned out, but they were worth it, and I felt that was what I needed to do to be the best mother possible. I am sure I did a fabulous job taking care of my family, my kids, and my friends. But my skill set in no way involved how to take care of myself and my mental health. Not only did I not know how to set healthy boundaries, but also how not to feel bad about setting them.

What does this slow burn look like for me through the rest of adulthood? I spend all my time fixing people’s problems, absorbing the pain and anxiety of others, giving out advice, and competing for the title of “Most Dependable Human Being, Friend, Daughter, Wife, and Mother.” It means I put my needs on the back burner, thinking I’ll get back around to some form of self-care at some point. And guess what? It never happens. I have given up my health, my peace, my joy, my comfort, and even my safety to keep everyone around me happy.

Then finally, this past year, after a lifetime of pouring out all I had and everything I was, and after almost 10 years of mothering in the same way, I broke down. Not just an “I need a break” kind of meltdown but a complete and total realization that I had to change how I looked at everything to sustain being a good parent and person.

I realized having healthy boundaries doesn’t make me a bad person. I am now learning to listen to my gut when it tells me that I’ve had enough of something and that I need to take a break or step back. Continuing to be a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend can only happen if I give myself permission to help when I can and to stop when I can’t. It means I recognize that I can assist in others’ journeys without feeling like I have to do the work for them. I can care without carrying everyone else’s burdens.

I have always viewed sacrifice as the mother of all virtues, and listen, as a mom, I think most of the time it is a virtue. My kids are my No. 1 priority and I will never put myself before them, but I learned a very important thing about self-care in the last year. Taking care of yourself isn’t just saying “me first,” it’s also saying, “Hey! My health and my well-being matter as much as yours, and being the best mom that I can be requires some breaks and resets sometimes.”

You can be an amazing mom, a great partner, a supportive sibling, a kind daughter, a competent coworker, a good friend, and an amazing individual. You can give to others without it always being to your detriment. You can meet others’ needs without completely abandoning your own.

Taking care of yourself also means you want nothing more than to help your children chase their dreams while running right alongside them, chasing yours as well.

 

The Redeemed Mama is a writer who had had articles published by The Today Show, Love What Matters, The Mighty, Faithit, For Every Mom, The Creative Child Magazine and more. She has 3 beautiful kids and resides in Southern Arizona and loves writing about parenting, life and growth!

A morning routine for kids is easier to achieve than you might think

Even if you live in a house full of early birds, the chances of your morning running smoothly from waking up to getting out the door isn’t always guaranteed. Whether you need a refresher or are preparing for newly busy days, there are a few things you can do to create an easy morning routine for kids that will help prevent the wee hours from being a lesson in chaos.

1. Make sure the kids get enough sleep. Simple fact—kids who don’t get the right amount of sleep won’t be thrilled when the light pops on in the morning. Check out this handy chart from the Sleep Foundation to see how much shut-eye your little one needs on a nightly basis.

2. Prep backpacks the night before. Nothing beats the tried and true method of getting homework done and in the pack the night before. It means one less thing to do in the morning, and when everyone’s in high gear, it helps preserve the flow—and your sanity.

3. Wake up at the same time every day. Who isn’t tempted to hit the snooze button once (or twice)? The best morning people wake up at the same time every day, so your internal body clock knows when it’s time to rise and shine. Even if you love sleeping in on the weekends, your best chance for weekday morning success is rising at the same time every day.

4. Let the light shine in. Once the alarm goes off, open the window shades and welcome the morning sun. Our bodies wake faster in the light rather than in the dark. Have your kiddos open their blinds or curtains as soon as they wake up. If you’re awake before the sun comes up, hop out of bed and turn on the light.

5. Start with a power jam. There’s something inspirational about theme songs. Whether it’s their current fave or a classic like Eye of the Tiger, blast it at o-seven-early to rally the troops. Use the same song each day or make a playlist to rotate favorites throughout the week. Let’s get this a.m. party started!

Related: 13 Alarm Clocks to Kickstart Your Morning Routine

tween girl picking out clothes, a good thing to add to a morning routine for kids
iStock

 

6. Set out clothes the night before. The last thing you need in the morning is your kid spending an enormous amount of time choosing between polka dots and stripes. Add this task to your bedtime checklist, and you’ll save yourself the style struggle in the a.m.

7. Take up a collection. Every parent is familiar with those last-minute necessities that always slow kids down when you’re trying to shuffle them out the door. Shoes, jackets, backpacks… the items that often take a search party to locate. Collect them all in cubbies, baskets, bins, or lockers kept right by the door. They’ll be the last things the kids grab before it’s time to go to school.

8. Eat in the car. Seriously. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. But it can be hard always getting something nutritious in, especially if your kiddo is slow to rise or doesn’t have time to finish their breakfast before the bus arrives. The solution? An on-the-go snack with lots of staying power.

9. Have a posted morning routine and schedule. Kiddos (and adults) work best if they know what’s expected of them. Post a morning routine for the kids on the refrigerator, or hang a chore chart on the kitchen wall. Even if the routine contains simple steps like making your bed, brushing your teeth, and washing your face, checking the chart and crossing off the items helps every family member know what’s expected of them and keeps the morning on track.

10. Make morning time electronics-free. We all know phones and televisions are distracting. Keeping the diversions to a minimum will help everyone stay focused on the tasks at hand and keep the morning focused on getting ready and out the door. And yes, parents, we’re talking about you too! Put the phone away until the morning hours have come and gone.

11. Recruit the kids. Have you ever noticed how younger kids seem to be in awe of the big kids? Use that to your advantage. Find a responsible older child to be your kid’s morning buddy and hire them to wait with your child at the bus or walk them to school in the morning. It means more time for you, and your kid will be delighted. Big kids for the win!

12. Give them five. A familiar concept from elementary classrooms, Give Me Five takes five simple tasks and associates each with a finger. It’s as easy as turning Thumbkin into the “get dressed” reminder and Mr. Pointer into “eat breakfast.“ By the time it’s Little Pinky’s turn, your mini-me should be ready to board the bus. Carry on with a high five after each completed task, and it’ll be smooth sailing for everyone!

Related: 22 Super Easy (& Nutritious) Breakfasts for Hectic Mornings

 

Ah, bedtime. You know, that magical moment when you collapse onto a kid-less couch and enjoy the silence, a beverage of your choice, and quality time with your partner (or by yourself). You’ve earned it. But is that bedtime early enough? According to this study, earlier bedtimes can improve parents’ mental health, so you might want to rethink that time.

Starting in 2004, thousands of families participated in a study conducted by Murdoch Children’s Research Institute in Melbourne, Australia, called Growing Up In Australia. While the research looked at many factors to study the impact of the immediate and broader environment on child development, tracking families over several years, one of the more interesting findings was that earlier bedtime for kids not only led to better health-related quality of life for kids, but it also improved the moms’ mental health.

Why? According to the study, kids who don’t meet the minimum sleep guidelines show symptoms of poor mental health (unhappiness and anxiety), tend to be late or absent more often and spend more time on homework. This can lead to stressed and tired kids which can lead to stressed and tired parents. And, even though sleep requirements decrease as kids age, many school-grade kids still weren’t meeting the guidelines. It showed that four out of five children thought they were getting enough sleep when they were not.

So what is that magic bedtime hour? It depends on the age of your child. According to the sleep chart above, if your six-year-old gets up at 6:30 or 7 am, their bedtime should fall between 7:30 and 8:30 pm! Putting kids to bed earlier might seem challenging, especially if you have after-school activities to balance, but there are ways to make it happen. If you have a first-timer heading to the classroom this year, this study on the effects of 10+ hours of sleep might convince you even more.

 

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I bet you clicked on this post expecting to read something fun and simple like, “10 Easy Ways to Prepare for New Motherhood!” Sorry, you won’t find that here, not really.

Because nothing—I mean nothing—can truly prepare you for the excruciating love you feel for this new, tiny human. For the sleepless nights, the overwhelming worry, the completely abnormal fascination and pride that comes with every. Single. Thing. Your. Baby. Does.

But here are a few things you can try.

1. Stop showering for several days at a time.

2. Set your alarm randomly through the night, anywhere between five-minute and two-hour increments. Each time it goes off, take a lap around the house while holding something fragile, like your grandmother’s crystal—without collapsing. Repeat.

3. Dirty dishes. Prep for motherhood and all the “letting go” that comes with it by allowing your sink to sit full of dirty dishes for multiple days. Better yet, do those dishes and find a way to magic them dirty again within 30 minutes of washing. (I’m sure your hubs can help with that.)

4. Color the walls with a marker. The walls, the couch, your favorite yoga pants. Research different ways to remove marker ink from various surfaces around your house. (Helpful hint: dry erase markers are not friendly to walls. Don’t ask me how I know.)

5. Borrow someone’s sick kid (it’s flu season, you’ll find them) and wear a little vomit on the shoulder of your shirt. Forget it’s there and continue to wonder where that smell is coming from as you sanitize every surface of your home, but one: you.

6. Sit for hours at a time snuggling a small creature and smelling its head, completely blissed out. Do this for long after you’ve had to pee and your legs have fallen asleep.

7. Get into yoga. You’ll need those stretches to reach halfway across the bed with your pinky toe to grab your phone because the baby fell asleep on your boob again and you can’t reach it.

8. Go into your closet and place at least 10 articles of unworn clothing into the laundry pile every day.

9. Buy a Roomba. Smear peanut butter on the bottom of it and set it to run all day. Try to clean up after it. (Side note/epiphany: every mom should add a Roomba to their baby shower registry.)

10. Allow barn animals into your home. Try to retain sanity.

11. Get yourself a drink in a green cup. No, now a red cup. Try a blue cup now. Just kidding, you’re not thirsty anymore.

12. Decide you need to eat mac and cheese. Realize you don’t have any. Go to the store, come home, fix mac and cheese. Decide you hate mac and cheese.

13. Analyze and Doctor Google everything. Every bath product in your home, every red bump on your arm, why you didn’t sleep well last night. Don’t sleep because you are worried about the toxicity level of your sheets and the LED light in your bedroom and convince yourself they’re the reason you aren’t getting any rest.

I’d like to tell you that these steps will completely help you prepare for what it’s like to become a parent.

But it won’t.

As a former nanny who had helped raise several babies, I thought I would have this motherhood gig in the bag. I could change diapers with the best of them and swaddle with ease. Every book, sleep bible, and baby terminology manual was read and practiced…

I was going to be the Best Freaking Mother Ever.

But the second the doctors laid that warm, cheese-covered ball of mush on my chest, it occurred to me: I have no freaking clue what I’m doing.

And I didn’t. (Maybe I still don’t.) Some days, I’m completely failing. I yell, then I hide from them, then I cry for a moment of peace (or sanity), then I hug the crap out of them because I can’t believe I got to grow these amazing, kind, brilliant, hilarious little humans.

I wish I could tell you the secret to rocking motherhood. I wish I knew the secret to rocking motherhood. But, here is what I can tell you, what I know deep down in my bones.

Do your research. Ask questions. Know this too shall pass. Let go of the worry. Throw your books out the window (after reading them) and do what works for you, your family, and your kids.

No mom ever went wrong by trusting her gut.

Sending love to you, new mom.

You got this.

With over 10 years in childcare experience, Lauren's passion for lifting up moms and advocating for children pours through her work with Breastfeeding World and her daycare. Her life is full of busy, crazy and LOUD. Oh, and coffee—always lots of coffee—but she wouldn't have it any other way.

One of our editors, Kate Loweth, took Microsoft Edge, a browser loaded with built-in shopping tools, for a test run for her holiday shopping. Here’s what she found:

The holidays are expensive. There, I said it. As a mom with three kids in the tween and teen years, I know full well that it’s no longer about the number of toys under the tree but instead, it has morphed into them asking for high-priced electronics and gift cards.

Saving is at the top of my list this year as I’m not about to spend my whole paycheck to put loot under the tree. Lucky for me, Microsoft Edge gifted me $250 to try out their browser with my shopping. Here’s the 411 on how this browser seamlessly assisted with my holiday shopping and helped me save along the way. Trust me, you’ll want to make it part of your shopping routine all year long!

 P.S. Enter for your own chance to win $250 for your holiday shopping at the bottom of this article!

The Shopping Features Are There as Soon as You Download the Browser

Shopping via the Microsoft Edge browser is super easy and you know what you are buying is the best deal out there. I was looking for a Fitbit for my 10-year-old and was checking out options that were available at Target. When I navigated to the page for the Fitbit Ace 3, the price comparison feature showed me that there was a lower price available on another website. Turns out the savings was only 4 cents on eBay so I stuck with Target for my purchase. I was happy to know that no major discount was out there and I was getting it at a reasonable price. Gone are the days when you have to shop around to find the lowest price.

Am I Getting a Good Deal? Yes

Next up on my shopping list was Just Dance 2022 for the Nintendo Switch. Target had this at $49.99 but Microsoft Edge let me know that it was available for $29.83 on Amazon. Score! When I navigated over to Amazon to make my purchase, Microsoft Edge showed me that this price was pretty stable over the last 6 months and I was getting a good deal. Go me! Knowing the historical pricing data without having to check another website is a handy feature.

Original Price Price: $49.99

Price with Microsoft Edge: $29.83

Savings: $20.16

 

Expert-Approved

Making a big purchase? Reviews can offer insight into what is the best option for your needs. Microsoft Edge captures ratings and reviews from multiple sources and brings them to you without you having to navigate away from the item you are considering. Click, check out the review and feel comfortable with your order. It’s that easy.

It Finds the Deals for You

As a self-proclaimed coupon addict, I am well versed in the couponing world. I know all the websites to go to that gather up coupon codes. Microsoft Edge makes this whole process so much easier as it scours the web for all available coupons for you while you shop. Since it’s built in, you don’t have to add any connections.

My husband needs a new carry-on suitcase so I checked out Amazon for options. I found this one and Microsoft Edge told me there was a $10 coupon. Score! Clip and save.

Regular Price: $89.99

Price with Microsoft Edge: $79.99

Savings: $10

Checkout Is a Breeze

Last on my list was a “cozy but stylish” jacket for my 12-year-old son who wears almost the same size that I do (when did THAT happen?). I found this bomber jacket with a sherpa lining at Target that checked both boxes and was every tween’s favorite color, black. Because I had set up Microsoft Edge with all my shipping details the last time I shopped, it was ready to autofill when I checked out.

Savings: My time!

The real truth: Microsoft Edge makes shopping so much easier, which is key during this time when orders are being placed at lightning speed. I know that I’m getting the best deal for my purchases and the whole process is a breeze.