Who wants to spend time and money buying maternity clothes you’ll only wear for a few months? Nobody, that’s who. And who wants to do a ton of mall shopping with a growing belly? Not us. Whether you’re figuring out your pregnancy style or looking to stay fashionable by renting cute maternity clothes you can send back when they no longer fit, maternity subscription boxes and rental services are a smart and affordable option. It’s like a fashionable twist on the classic baby shower. Instead of receiving a mountain of onesies and tiny socks, you can indulge in a rotating wardrobe that grows with your belly. Say goodbye to the days of sacrificing style for comfort. This is a whole new world of chic maternity wear that’s so beyond leggings and tees (unless that’s what you want!).
From the moment that little plus sign appears on the pregnancy test, we’ve all found ourselves thinking about finding clothes that accommodate our changing body shapes. It’s totally natural. We promise. Especially when you’re adjusting to all the evolving your bod goes through during this time, wondering how you’re going to dress it is something we’ve all dealt with. Whether you’re a trendy fashionista or a minimalist mama, these services have got you covered (literally). We’ve made sure there’s something for everyone.
Armoire
With fashions categorized by maternity, bump-friendly, and nursing, you're sure to find fashions that cater to your needs throughout your pregnancy and beyond.
What you get: 4, 6 or 7 items, depending on your subscription plan How it works: Take a style quiz and make your selections from a curated list. When you're ready for new clothes, choose your next fashions. Keep your current items until your new clothes arrive Best for: All stages of your pregnancy, plus postpartum Cost: Subscriptions start at $79/first month for 4 items Check it out: Here
Motherhood Rental
Motherhood Rental
Motherhood Maternity and A Pea in the Pod are behind this new subscription service, giving you an easy, fun way to get your hands on their large assortment of new releases, best sellers and seasonal fashions.
What you get: Three items with each order from pieces you've saved as favorites How it works: Shoppers choose at least eight styles and prioritize them as a must-have or something to save for later in pregnancy. Motherhood Rental sends three items that you have the option to purchase or return in the prepaid bag and swap out for other fashions. Swap items as often as you like or need to, to accommodate your bump. Once returned, clothes are wet-cleaned and dry-cleaned and sent through a high-heat steam tunnel, and no dyes or perfumes are used in the cleaning process Best for: All pregnancy stages and occasions, from special occasion outfits to designer denim and leggings Cost: $69/month Check it out: Here
Le Tote
Le Tote
Le Tote does “fashion rental for everyday style,” and anyone can go back and forth from the classic to maternity versions of the service. Fill out a style profile, and then a stylist chooses clothes and accessories for you. You can say “yea” or “nay” to these items before they’re ever sent. Payment is for membership, not per item. Keep anything you like.
What you get: Maternity clothing items and accessories How it works: Fill out a style profile to have a stylist choose clothes and accessories for you. Choose which you like and replace any you don't. You'll then get a tote with clothes and accessories based on your current needs and fashion preferences. When you’re ready to change it up, return the items (or buy them to keep them permanently) and get a new tote Best for: Moms who need a little office wear and a little weekend wear Cost: Membership plans start at $59/month Check it out:Here
Stitch Fix
Stitch Fix
With Stitch Fix, there's no subscription required. Fill out a profile about your style preferences, price requirements, and measurements, and a professional stylist will hand-pick five fashion pieces to be delivered to your door. Order on demand or get a monthly box. Leave notes and requests for your stylist and exchange pieces you need a different size in for free. For women in sizes 0-16 and XS-XXL, Stitch Fix provides fashions for all three trimesters and post-baby. For sizes 1X-3X and 14W-24W, they offer maternity-friendly tops through your second trimester and post-baby.
What you get: 5 hand-selected pieces per delivery How it works: Keep what you like, send back the rest. Shipping is free both ways Best for: Moms-to-be that are feeling hopelessly style-less now that they're pregnant and looking to build on basics Cost: $20 styling fee per delivery, which is credited toward items you purchase, and then pay only for what you keep Check it out:Here
Rent the Runway
Rent the Runway
This rental service offers maternity pieces and bump-friendly non-maternity styles. Rent the Runway also has maternity-wear stylists on call that you can contact for free. Ask them fit and style questions or general questions about what you're getting. Talk about fancy.
What you get: Five pieces at a time How it works: Enter your due date to see styles that match where you are in your pregnancy or skip that and view all the offerings Best for: Moms seeking stylish designer pieces Cost: Membership plans start at $94/month Check it out: Here
Nuuly Rental
Nuuly Rental
Subscribe and rent any 6 styles, every month. They're all yours for the next month. Don't worry about laundry or repairs—it's included in the plan. If you fall in love with something, buy it. Send back the rest by your billing date and repeat. There are no late fees or damage fees, either.
What you get: You choose what you borrow; 6 styles from multiple categories How it works: It’s just like shopping online, but you're renting (with the option to purchase) Best for: The "cool mom", who really doesn't want to sacrifice her personal style in favor of maternity clothes that fit Cost: $98/month Check it out:Here
La Belle Bump
La Belle Bump
With La Belle Bump, you get higher-end clothes that they actually like (yay!) without the investment of buying. Popular items include all kinds of cute shorts for the summer, like the pair pictured above. You'll also like getting stylish outfits that aren’t the “cookie-cutter” looks you see everywhere else. The service provides nursing-friendly outfits and special-occasion rentals, too.
What you get: 3 or 5 maternity pieces at a time How it works: Fill out a style questionnaire, and get items delivered to you. When you send something back (because you don’t like it, or you’re just ready for something new), you’ll get the same number of new items. Clothes available in maternity 0-14 Best for: Formal wear, working women, stylish mamas seeking unique dresses Cost: $79/month for 3 items; $109/month for 5 items. Free shipping Check it out:Here
All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.
If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.
From the moment you find out you’re pregnant, many moms-to-be start to notice changes in their bodies. Morning sickness, thicker hair, even varicose veins are among the list of culprits that can show up and disappear. But what if they don’t? It turns out, your baby isn’t the only thing you’ll get from those nine grueling months—there are lots of body changes after pregnancy, too. These not-so-cuddly gifts may stick around long after your baby bump goes away. From wider hips to bigger feet, vision changes to sudden (or disappearing) allergies, many new moms will find these changes are part of their postpartum body.
Your baby’s not the only one who's going to need new shoes. Many new moms add half a shoe size—or more—after pregnancy. Blame the hormone relaxin, which loosens the ligaments in your body to help prepare for birth (that pelvis has to widen, after all), which also causes the bones to spread in the feet.
Doctors say there is a chance your feet will go back to their old size after several months, but if your feet still feel cramped in your favorite shoes, it may be time to go shopping (as if you needed a better excuse).
Note: Call your doctor if your feet have swelled up suddenly, as this may be a sign of potentially dangerous preeclampsia or blood pressure changes.
Your Hips Get Wider
You know those glorious hips that widened to let your baby squeeze out into the world? They may never go back to the way they were (even if you had a C-section). Same goes for your rib cage, which also had to open up to make room for your growing child. For most women, these enlarged bones go back to their original place by about 18 weeks postpartum, but some women keep the extra girth permanently.
"My hips stayed permanently wider which was great for me because I had no shape before," said a Reddit user. "I was built like a teenaged boy, lol."
"My hips? Wider yes and not back to normal," said another mom. "But I have embraced it and now have a more hourglass figure with larger bust, slim waist and wide hips."
"I hope my hips get wider during pregnancy. Wide hips are beauty beautiful," said another.
While pregnancy’s powerful hormones will likely bump your bosom up a few cup sizes, once your milk-making machines dry up, you may end up with smaller breasts than you had before you were pregnant. “You lose a lot of breast elasticity,” Los Angeles–based OB-GYN Pari Ghodsi told Health magazine. “They’re not as full as they once were.”
That said, some women report larger breasts after pregnancy (even after nursing), so it's anyone's guess where your post-baby bust will be.
“I was a C pre-pregnancy, was a DD in my second trimester," said a Reddit user. "I never measured postpartum but they were pornographic while I was pumping, and then once I stopped pumping they vanished into thin air and I’ve got A’s now."
“After nursing 6+ years with four kids, they didn't shrink......just deflated,” said another. “I can go out braless bc I can tuck them into my damn waistband.”
"Once my son was eating adult food they went back down to one cup size larger than they were pre-pregnancy," said another.
Pregnancy packs a wallop on your hormones, with these changes wreaking havoc on your body all the way to the tips of your strands. Some steadfastly straight-haired mamas get suddenly wavy locks post-baby, while some women with curls may suddenly go straight. (And this is in addition to losing the lustrous hair you likely grew while your baby was cooking.)
Sometimes, the hair goes back to the way it was months later; some women have changed tresses forever. Whatever your look, embrace it as your new Mama style.
"I'm Asian and had thick, pin-straight hair before pregnancy,” said one mom on Reddit. “After I gave birth, it went all frizzy/weird, curly but not actually curly; beachy waves, but not nice beachy waves. Like an insane lion that had a bomb go off next to his head.”
“Got my first grey eyebrow hair 7 months along,” said another mom. “Hair is def not the same.”
“My wife was blonde her entire life, and is now a brunette after giving birth to our son,” said another Reddit user. “It’s crazy!”
Your Periods Change
As if you didn’t endure enough down there, postpartum periods tend to be permanently heavier or more painful after pregnancy. According to the Cleveland Clinic, these changes may relate to a larger uterine cavity causing more endometrium (mucous lining the uterus) to shed.
But it’s not all bad news. Some women actually experience lighter, easier periods after childbirth.
“The bottom line is that periods can change after having a baby,” OB-GYN Diane Young said in this article. “If you are concerned about your periods, make an appointment with your OB-GYN. There are medical therapies to help.”
That Dark Line that Points to Your Nether-Regions May Not Go Away
Pregnancy doesn’t just change your shape; it also changes your skin. Take the linea nigra: It’s the dark line that appears during pregnancy and runs from the middle of your belly to your pubic bone. A common hyperpigmentation that develops mid-pregnancy, it usually fades about three months after childbirth, but it can stick around permanently (as can darkened areolas, which also happens during pregnancy).
If the line bothers you, talk to your doctor. While it can’t be removed completely, there are skin-lightening creams and laser treatments that could make it less noticeable.
Your Allergies Disappear… or You Suddenly Have New Ones
Do you suddenly have a perpetually runny nose? Did your lifelong allergy to celery suddenly cease? Hormones are to blame for that, too. In fact, pregnancy can cause all sorts of changes in your immune system, which can alter your sensitivity to allergens. Experts say the most common newly occurring post-pregnancy allergies include seasonal allergies, food sensitivities, and PUPPP rash, a skin condition characterized by small pink itchy bumps on the abdomen.
"Hormonal fluctuations impact your allergies because estrogen and progesterone have an impact on your mast cells (allergy cells)," allergist and immunologist Purvi Parikh of the Allergy and Asthma Network said in this Parents magazine article.
Pregnancy isn’t the only dramatic hormonal shift that can trigger allergies, he added. “New allergies can emerge during periods of significant hormonal shifts, including puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause.”
You Have Stretch Marks…in Places You Never Thought You Would
Stretch marks on the belly are a veritable right of passage into mommyhood. But stretch marks on the thighs? Breasts? Buttox? Sorry, but it’s a thing. Stretch marks—which appear as red, pink, or black lines (their color depends on your skin)—are actually small scars that happen when sudden weight gain (i.e. your little miracle) tears the fibers of the skin. Up to 90 percent of pregnant women get them, with most common areas affected being the belly, thighs, hips, butt, and breasts. They can even happen in the upper arms and back.
And while you can’t get rid of (or prevent) stretch marks completely, most fade significantly after several months. In addition, there are some treatments—including chemical peels, lasers, radiofrequency, microdermabrasion, and microneedling— that may make them less noticeable.
My stretch marks are all over my legs!” said one Reddit user on this thread. “Nobody talks about this...my calves, thighs and hips got ‘em for sure. Interesting how everybody’s different.”
“I got zero stretchmarks until after I gave birth,” said another. “And then suddenly they were everywhere! Even behind my knees, under my arms, and on my pubic bone!”
Sorry, but sneezing may never be the same. The strain of pregnancy and childbirth can weaken your pelvic floor muscles (those are the muscles that support the bladder, uterus, and bowel). This can cause mild to severe urinary incontinence or other pelvic floor disorders including problems related to your bowel or sexual functioning.
The good news? There are exercises you can do to improve things, with daily Kegels being your best first step. If you’re noticing excessive leaking—more than just a little squirt with a sneeze or “Oops” on the trampoline—you may want to talk to your gynecologist about regular physical therapy to improve symptoms (Don’t worry; it’s less embarrassing than it sounds).
Ah, hormones—Is there any part of the body you don’t control? Apparently not. If you’re not seeing your ABCs like you used to, you’re not alone. Up to 20 percent of women experience vision changes after pregnancy, Optometrist Dr. Arian Fartash said on her website. This s because pregnancy hormones cause water retention, which can cause swelling in the eyes.
“Your feet don’t only swell, but your eyes can swell, too, and that makes your vision change,” Fartash said in her video blog, “Ask an Eye Doctor.” “These changes can stay until after you’re done breastfeeding—or it can stay until the rest of your life.” Consequently, Fartash recommends getting your eyes checked after pregnancy to see if you need a new prescription.
Yes, phantom kicks are a thing. Your tummy may not be growing a baby anymore, but it’s not uncommon to feel those familiar baby flutters even long after childbirth. According to Texas OB-GYN Tiffany Woodus, phantom kicks are the perception of fetal movement in the abdomen weeks, months or years after pregnancy has ended. And it's experienced by more women than you'd think.
Experts aren’t sure why women experience phantom kicks, but according to an online survey done in Australia, women who experience them do so for an average of 6.8 years postpartum, with one mom in the survey reporting phantom kicks up to 28 years later!
My daughter is 7 and I STILL get them!,” said a Mama in this thread.
It freaks me out every time. I'm so glad I saw this post, it's had me guessing a lot,” said another. “My son is nearly three and I've been getting them for the last 6 months. A part of me thinks it's my body teasing me because I do want a second now.”
“Same thing happens to me,” said another. “I even took a pregnancy test to confirm I'm not going crazy even though there was zero chance of pregnancy.”
If your face looks splotchier than it did in your child-free days—or if you suddenly have a blanket of freckles all over your nose, you probably have melasma, a common condition caused by pregnancy hormones (it can also happen with the start of birth control pills). The condition, categorized by splotches or freckles of darker skin, usually occurs mainly on the cheeks, forehead, chin, and above the upper lip.
For some women, it goes away a few months after their baby is born (or after they stop taking the pill); for others, the change is permanent. But don’t despair: There are several treatments that may help, including lightening creams and laser light therapy.
A Final Note
While it may seem daunting to learn about all the uncomfortable or potentially permanent side effects of pregnancy, try to keep things in perspective: After all, you just added a human to the world. Those are battle scars you're earning!
And anyway—stretch marks, vision changes, and splotchy skin equals new baby, plus a lifetime of love and purpose. We'll take it.
I was lucky to be pregnant alongside one of my best friends. She was two weeks ahead of me and we shared a philosophy: we talk about everything. On any given day, the ping-pong match that became our text thread looked a little something like this:
Her: Where did you buy your compression socks? Your OB suggested them for flights, right?
Me: Do you think it’s bad I woke up on my back?
Her: New adds for our research list: delaying the first bath, and cord blood banking. Have you looked into either?
Me: How did you know it was baby hiccups when you felt them?
You better believe I hung on every word of her OB-GYN appointment recaps too, as I waited for my own. I wanted to know how did it go, what did you learn, and most importantly… what happens next?
(Photo: Me and my pregnancy partner-in-questioning)
As her 40-week mark moved closer and closer, I couldn’t shake the visual that she and I were standing at the top of a giant slide. Her, ready to push off and shout to me what the ride was like, as she soared towards the bottom.
I found having her as a guide for what was ahead to be calming, and made me feel like I was in “control” (cue the laughter, I know). I’m all about sharing what worked for me in the hopes it helps someone else, so here we go!
You may already be experiencing this, but the reality is, that as your pregnancy progresses, your OB-GYN appointments begin to feel more like drive-thrus than sit-downs. And that’s exactly around the time you’ll hear phrases like posterior placenta, newborn stem cell preservation, mucus plug, and foley bulb induction.
While these are new terms for the majority of us (and they sound intimidating), they’re not to be feared or rushed through. Your appointments are your appointments after all. So, from one new mom to the next, take your time. Command the room. If you need it, bring your partner, family member or friend as reinforcement. Most of all, ask every question.
To get you started, here’s a glimpse into the notes section of my phone organized by trimester. You’ll find topics to anticipate and questions to consider before your next OB-GYN appointment, no matter where you are in your pregnancy journey. Of course, pick and choose what feels appropriate for your situation.
We’re all on this ride together, friends—and I’ll be here waiting for you at the bottom of the slide.
First Trimester (0-13 Weeks)
The newness and fragility is palpable. This is a great time to gather questions as you wait for your first appointment and ultrasound.
When should my partner and I get tested for our blood types?
Are my prenatal vitamins giving me enough of what I need?
Can I keep up my exercise routine throughout pregnancy?
Are there foods I should avoid while pregnant?
How do I choose pregnancy safe skincare?
What should I be feeling during my first trimester?
When do you recommend I tell my boss I’m pregnant?
Second Trimester (14-27 Weeks)
As you work through all the necessary blood work and testing, tackle some of the bigger questions around your delivery, and explore your preferences. This is a nice time for a babymoon too!
What pregnancy classes should I take, and when should I take them?
Is cramping a normal feeling while pregnant?
Do I really have to sleep on my left side? Is it bad to sleep on your back while pregnant?
Start thinking about birth intentions (I avoided the word “plan”, adds too much stress!) :
What does a doula do, and do I want one?
Who will be in the room?
Review pain management options
What ambiance do we want in the room (lights dimmed? music?)
Gearing up for the homestretch! Expect more frequent doctor appointments as the weeks progress. This is your time to decide on your birth “intentions” and postpartum care.
How long past my due date can I go before induction? Can you ask to be induced?
Cervical exams during pregnancy—pros/cons? Are they elective?
Reminder to decide on cord blood banking! When is our deadline, and what is the cord blood storage cost?
What are signs your water broke? How long after do you wait at home if it does?
What does a mucus plug look like?
Do you have pediatrician recs? When do we make our first appointment?
Start to freeze food! Any recommendations for the best postpartum meals?
What is the transition phase of labor?
What breast pump does my insurance cover? Should I get fitted for a breast pump now?
While there is a lot to consider (clearly!), I hope having this little list in your back pocket lets you feel prepared for your next OB-GYN appointment.
If you’re pregnant, your fitness journey doesn’t have to come to a halt. In fact, plenty of New York City’s most popular exercise studios offer prenatal fitness classes to keep you—and baby—healthy!
Staying healthy while pregnant is one of the best things you can do for your baby and yourself. After confirming what’s OK with your doctor, check out our top prenatal workouts in NYC, including prenatal yoga, prenatal pilates, cycling in and out of the pool and barre work. Added plus? You can do all of these classes post-baby as well to keep your workout streak going strong. For more fitness spots, head on over to our roundup of New York City gyms with childcare, take a look at our favorite kid-friendly hikes in and near NYC, and our top NYC stroller hikes if you already have a kid in tow. And, although the past few years of the pandemic have been hard on exercise studios, a positive change has been the uptick in fitness providers now offering all kinds of virtual options, including on-demand classes and live online sessions. Whatever your prenatal fitness need is, an NYC studio will meet it!
Indoor cycling studio BYKlyn uses Silent Disco/Sound Off headphones for a fun, club-like atmosphere, and top instructors from studios throughout NYC each bring their own style and music to classes. All classes are Real Ride, with hills, speed work and intervals—just like a real bike ride. Pregnant riders are welcome, and can adjust the intensity of a ride as needed. Choose from 30 classes throughout the week.
Moms love: The inclusive and fun atmosphere. All levels and body types are welcome—you don't need to be a perfect pro to ride here.
Ballet Beautiful is a great workout to take advantage of stretches and targeted exercises inspired by classical ballet training. (Fans include Maggie Gyllenhaal and Tracee Ellis Ross.) Classes offered combine barre, mat, and light cardio, and are designed to help sculpt and tone your body. Ballet Beautiful's Soho studio is currently closed due to the pandemic, but there are lots of ways to access classes online: via purchasing individual workouts to stream, joining as a member for access to all trainings, or by booking a private individual or group class. Don't worry, no matter how you take a class, no tutu or previous dance training required!
Moms love: The targeted prenatal and postnatal workouts specifically designed for women preparing for and recovering from childbirth.
Created by a former marketing executive and mom-to-be when she found prenatal exercise options contradictory and lacking, Pronatal Fitness trains expecting moms for pregnancy, birth and motherhood like athletes prepping for a major sporting event. The online workouts are specifically designed to prep moms for the physical, and physiological, demands of all three wonderful, but challenging times. Pronatal Fitness also offers post-natal workouts (with or without baby) to help you get back into the swing of things. For those struggling with diastasis recti (or ab separation), new moms can have a consultation and receive an individualized program.
Moms love: The total body workout designed to help moms of all stages and postpartum workouts for recovery.
Moms-to-be can practice yoga postures, breathing exercises and enhance awareness of their ever-changing bodies at the Prenatal Yoga Center. Positions will strengthen pelvic muscles, improve circulation, and exercise the spine. Instructors at the Prenatal Yoga Center interweave childbirth education and therapeutic application for common aches and pains into specialized yoga classes. After baby arrives, post-natal classes address concerns and body changes, and new moms can bring babies along.
Moms love: Classes specifically-designed for the journey of pregnancy.
Want to preserve those long, lean gorgeous muscles throughout your pregnancy (or at least try to find them again)? Barre classes are some of the best workout classes for pregnant women due to the controlled movements and seamless modifications. PureBarre and Physique57 are two of the most popular barre workout studios, and both offer classes that combine light cardio, strength training and stretching to work your arms, thighs, seat and abs of during and after pregnancy.
Moms Love: These two studios offer barre classes that make us feel like we’re never taking the exact same class twice given their variety of instructors and class types. The moves allow for small bursts that fatigue muscles to exhaustion for ultimate toning. At Pure Barre, new moms can workout and bond with their newborn at the “Babies on Board” class, a fun, postnatal-friendly workout.
Compare notes with other expecting moms in the moderately- paced, 90-minute prenatal yoga class at Yoga Vida. Each class begins and ends with a restorative pose to connect with baby, relax the body, and de-stress the mind. But we promise it’s no nap fest! Basic yoga asana allows you to strengthen the body and increase stamina required for labor (kegels anyone?). After baby, check out their postnatal classes; babies 18 months and up are invited to join you for a 90-minute class designed to heal and rejuvenate the body following childbirth.
Moms Love: Pigeon pose: it opens the hips (making more room for baby) and stretches the back, butt and thigh muscles in all the right spots.
Lengthen muscles, loosen joints, and relieve muscle tension with Village Gyrotonic prenatal class. The studio is currently open for one-on-one sessions, and you can join live classes online. Gyrotonic improves overall flexibility by strengthening and stretching major muscle groups and joints while enhancing your range of motion, balance and coordination. Based on principles from yoga, tai chi, gymnastics, and dance, the exercises are performed on equipment designed to give the human body complete freedom of movement.
Moms love: Gyrotonic exercises help to create a strong, flexible, pelvic floor while strengthening and toning abdominal muscles, buttocks, hips and thighs.
Good news SoulCycle addicts: just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you need to stop tapping it back like a rock star. Assuming cycling has been a part of your life pre-pregnancy and you and your doctor agree it's okay, SoulCycle encourages riders to continue riding through pregnancy with personal adjustments taken when needed. While there are no set “prenatal” classes, regular Soul classes shouldn’t be an issue with your bump.
Moms love: It's a 45-minute dance party on a bike. What's not to love?
Exhale is a mom-to-be’s ideal destination for prenatal workouts. Specializing in barre, yoga, cardio and spa treatments, this inclusive facility is ready to make working out an awesome experience. If you’re already active in both barre and yoga classes, you are encouraged to take classes right up to the day you give birth if you like. Exhale's barre and yoga classes vary by intensity, and their dedication to guests’ health requires expecting moms to provide a note from their OBGYN before taking classes. While classes aren’t called out as prenatal, teachers are prepared to offer proper modifications throughout class to ensure a moms-to-be a great workout. Added plus? Exhale offers prenatal facials and massages (after the second trimester) to help guests relax and relieve stress.
Moms love: Scheduling back-to-back classes and spa treatment. What better way to motivate for a class than a spa treatment afterward? We’re in.
Rapper Da Brat and her wife, Jesseca “Judy” Harris-Dupart, are expecting their first baby a year after tying the knot
2023 is clearly going to be an exciting year for Da Brat. The hit “Funkified” rapper and her wife, Jesseca “Judy” Harris-Dupart, just revealed that they’re expecting their first baby together! And since Da Brat, at age 48, is pregnant, their story is already serving as an inspiration for women who dream of expanding their families, even as they get older.
“It’s been quite a journey,” Da Brat told People magazine. “There’s a lot of stuff we learned about women over the age of 40.”
The couple got married on Feb. 2 of last year, which means their exciting baby news comes just over a year after they tied the knot. Soon after their wedding, 41-year-old Harris-Dupart launched a new line of hair products for her company, Kaleidoscope, and joked, “We’re extending our family.”
“It started as a joke,” she explained. “But then we got a huge response. It was like, ‘Oh my God do we want to actually have kids, and if we do, girl, we better hurry up!'”
Harris-Dupart is already a mom of three kids from before she and Da Brat were together. And for Da Brat, well, kids weren’t really part of the plan until now.
“I just thought it wasn’t in the cards for me,” she explained. “I’ve had a great career, a full life. I felt like, because I didn’t get pregnant earlier on, then it just wasn’t going to happen for me.”
Sometimes, though, that’s just how it works out. And meeting Harris-Dupart changed a lot of things for Da Brat. “I started looking at life so differently. I was like, I want a little me with you. Something special from the both of us that we can share and raise and love unconditionally.”
The couple’s journey so far hasn’t been easy—they both suffered health problems during egg retrieval and implantation, and they had a miscarriage last year. “I had never been so excited about something that I didn’t even know I wanted,” Da Brat said. “I fell in love with the idea and then it was all snatched away from me.”
Now, though, she’s in her second trimester and excited for all the experiences that lie ahead. “It’s just a blessing,” she said. “I’m excited!”
A pea in the pod, a bun in the oven, preggo… no matter what you call it, everyone who experiences pregnancy knows you spend half of the nine-month stretch feeling joyful and excited and the other half feeling anxious and wondering if the things happening with your body are normal. You’re probably spending hours rabbit-holing into Google’s depths to read other mothers’ experiences and analyzing your own, wondering, “Is this normal?” Let’s break down a few common pregnancy “normals” and set your mind at ease.
You Are Not Your Belly Few instances in your life could ever change your appearance so drastically and so quickly, and no two women are going to feel the same. While one may feel more beautiful than ever before, with shiny hair, glowing skin, and a cute, round belly, another woman may be counting down (by the minute) until her due date so she can hit the gym and feel like her old self again. The normal response? Whatever is normal for you.
Know that it’s okay to feel whatever it is you feel about your body; just remember that you are not your belly or your thighs or your boobs. Many women feel negative about weight gain and don’t love that random strangers will comment on their stomachs and bodies without prompt or permission. Be gentle with yourself; you’re creating a life, and your body has to change for that to happen. You will feel like yourself again one day, sooner than you think. In the meantime, pay attention to the happy changes going on with your body, especially when you’re able to feel those fluttery kicks from within.
Sex Drive (Or Park) Some research points to an increased libido during your second trimester, and supposedly during this time, you’re feeling hot and ready for lovemaking at any time of day or night. This may be normal for some, and for others, it may be the exact opposite, where you sleep with a fly swatter next to your bed to fend off any unwanted advances (unless, of course, it actually is just the much-needed neck massage and nothing more. Yeah, right. We know your tricks.).
The point is, a lot is happening with your body and mind during this time (you’re growing a little human, for goodness sake), with hormones raging like they might during a slow jam during an eighth-grade dance. You’re feeling it? You’re not feeling it? Don’t worry. Whatever you’re feeling is normal. But if you’re concerned about the increase or decrease in your sex drive, talk with your doctor, and have an honest discussion with your partner about your needs.
The Prolapse and the Pee
Something else totally normal that happens to women during pregnancy? Pelvic floor conditions, including urinary and fecal incontinence, and a little condition called prolapse, which happens when the ligaments holding up the pelvic floor stretch, causing the uterus to descend. When this happens, the bowels and/or bladder can be pushed up against the vaginal walls and can cause a bulge, or prolapse, to push out of your vagina.
While this entire description should be a headline on the pamphlets aiming to prevent unplanned teen pregnancies, it is a completely normal side effect of pregnancy and childbirth. Many women say it feels like something coming down into their vagina or that it feels like sitting on a small ball.
Pelvic floor conditions affect one in five women, so to say it’s normal is an understatement. Every pregnant woman has peed a little without making it to the bathroom, but some pelvic floor conditions can be serious, so alert your doctor if you show symptoms, both during pregnancy and afterward. Together you can develop a plan for treatment and healing. There are also pelvic floor specialists who can develop a treatment plan for you.
And in the meantime, there’s leakproof underwear from brands like Proof. Choose the level of absorbency you need and the style you prefer (thong, brief, cheeky, hipster, and more), and you’ll get some piece of mind back.
Anxiety and Terror and Nightmares When you’re pregnant, the last thing you want to hear is, “Oh, don’t mind her. She’s just emotional because she’s pregnant.” Don’t you just want to kick that person as hard as you can? Or maybe that’s just the emotions talking…? No, it’s a justified desire to kick that person as hard as you can. Of course, you’re emotional; you’re angry and weepy and nostalgic and sentimental and anxious and fearful and excited and happy and… it’s a smorgasbord of emotions, really. But every single one of them is normal, according to medical experts.
Yes, you will cry over sweet commercials, and yes, you will get irate that the bag in the box of cereal wasn’t closed the right way and now your Captain Crunch is stale. And yes, you will lie awake at night, mapping and remapping the best route to the hospital where you’ll be giving birth. And yes, it’s completely normal to start crying in your kitchen while looking at your dog, wondering how in the world you’re ever going to still love your dog, or if you’re going to love your new baby as much as your dog.
Having a baby is a big change, and every emotion you are feeling is normal. Talk to friends about their “crazy” pregnancy emotions, journal about what you’re feeling, or ask your partner to give you a secret signal if you’re spinning out. Sometimes it can be as easy as telling yourself, “This anxiety/fear/anger I’m feeling only feels like more than I can handle because I’m pregnant.” Or just take comfort in knowing that the worry and anxiety you feel now is a good indicator that you are going to be a caring, concerned, and wonderful mom.
Finding Your New Normal Try to stay off WebMD about your bump in the night, and instead talk with friends and family who have been pregnant and may have had similar experiences. And always mention anything you find concerning to your doctor. It doesn’t always seem like it, but the nine months are going to be behind you, and before you know it, you’ll be Googling “Is This Normal?” questions about your new little one. For now, try to relax and know that the most normal thing about the questions you’re asking is that every other pregnant woman is asking them as well.
When the unthinkable happens and you lose a pregnancy and your unborn child, the grief is indescribable. Somehow the experience allows a simultaneous heaviness and emptiness to coexist within your being. While pregnancy loss is heartbreaking, there are added layers of complexity that make the loss so much more devastating and thereby harder to share.
So often, women tie their identity and self-worth with their ability to conceive and carry a child to term especially when infertility plays a role in the journey. Women who experience pregnancy loss grapple with failure as an inherent part of the process. When I lost my twins during the second trimester, I felt as if my body failed me and I failed my babies and my husband. A woman who is dealing with a pregnancy loss is not only grieving the loss of the child she never had the pleasure of knowing and the loss of her expectations and dreams but also dealing with their tortured sense of self-worth.
For many months after my loss, I lacked any desire to return back to the real world and preferred the comfort of my bed in my darkened room, which matched the dark emptiness I felt inside. It can feel impossible to fathom the idea of one day climbing out of this black hole of sadness. Take comfort in knowing that this “someday” will eventually make its way to you when you are ready. Below are some nuggets of wisdom from my own experience with loss and how I have coached my fertility mindfulness clients dealing with their own struggles through pregnancy loss.
1. Give Yourself Permission. Allow yourself space and time to heal. There is no set timeframe in which you need to move on. Do what you need to do for yourself during your time of grief and detach from the pressure to “get better” based on other people’s timelines and expectations. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your grief and recovery process.
2. Seek Support. There are days when we are okay with the isolation and then there are days when we need a helping hand to save us from the sadness. During those moments, reach out to your support group in whatever form that may be for you—your partner, therapy, online groups/communities, friends, and family. Support groups, whether in person or online, are a great way to remind you that you are not alone and someone out there understands what you are going through. If you are going through secondary infertility, a hug from your child can be powerful enough to break down the walls you have built around yourself and envelop you in love.
3. Honor & Acknowledge Your Pregnancy and Baby. You don’t have to get through it quicker just because you were “only pregnant for X number of weeks” or because you “already have X number of children.” If it helps you through your process of grief, find a way to honor your pregnancy and baby. Perhaps share your story to raise awareness and help end the stigma of pregnancy and infant loss.
4. Manage Triggers & Set Boundaries. It’s okay to say no to anyone and anything that could trigger you. Your mental and emotional well-being is fragile so give yourself permission to set boundaries on things like social media, gatherings, certain friends, and family. If you need help doing this, enlist your partner in this important task. If you are going through secondary infertility and lose your pregnancy, people can sometimes say insensitive comments about the fact that you already have a child. Remember that just because you have a child, your loss is no less significant and should not be diminished. In these instances, set boundaries for what people can say to you and ask your partner to help ensure this need is met. No one has the right to justify how you should feel or what you should do.
5. Get Distracted. Consider going away whether it’s for a quick drive or a long weekend. Other people find it helpful to take up a hobby that requires focus and allows for personal growth. Take little steps in your grief process as you start to do other things. These distractions can help stop the cycle of negativity and despair in which you are trapped. Returning back to your role whether in work or in family life can give you a purpose outside of your fertility and feeling defined only by your quest to have a child.
6. Take Back Control. If you need some form of control to help ease the overwhelming nature of your situation, one way to take back some semblance of control is to come up with a plan. Work with your medical team to evaluate what happened, and to discuss options and next steps. Knowing that you have a defined road map can help to ease a bit of the stress and anxiety that is a part of your loss. Another way to feel like you are in control of your situation is to use breathing techniques to help you move your state of mind and body from a state of stress to a state of calm. For example, do a 16-second breath count —4 seconds each—inhale, hold, exhale, hold. Repeat as necessary.
If you are in the process of grief right now, please remember that this loss is not your fault. You are worthy and capable and so very brave. As you grieve your loss in silence, take all the time you need to heal your mental and emotional well-being. All of your feelings are valid and worthy of being fully expressed. One day, when the time is right for you, hope will make its way back to you. Until then, know that you are not alone. I see you and I am so sorry for your loss.
My passion is helping others overcome adversity to find joy via meditation training and my podcast “Responding to Life.” I draw upon my unique fertility journey of pregnancy loss, IVF, international adoption and surrogacy, ultimately becoming a mother of five, to show others the power of perseverance, calm and courage.
A babymoon is the perfect way to relax and reconnect with your partner before having to tackle sleepless nights, diaper changes and bottles. While there is no one right way to babymoon, there are some things every mom-to-be should consider when planning a pre-baby getaway. Read on for tips on how to choose when and where to go and what to pack. Can’t travel? We have you covered with great ideas for babymoon staycations.
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1. Choose the Right Time Timing is key when it comes to planning a fun and relaxing babymoon. Most obstetricians think the best time to travel is between 14 and 28 weeks of pregnancy. This is the ideal time to plan a babymoon because the fatigue and nausea of the first trimester will have passed but the discomfort many moms-to-be experience in the third trimester will not have set in yet. Added bonus: Planning a trip for the second trimester will also give you something to look forward to when you're struggling through the worst of those early pregnancy symptoms.
2. Find the Perfect Destination With months of sleepless nights ahead, you'll want a destination that offers plenty of opportunities to relax. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists has plenty of advice about how to stay safe on cruise ships, airplanes and during international travel, so nearly everything is on the table for expectant moms. If you have any concerns about your health and your baby's, select a destination that is not more than a few hours from your doctor or a large hospital capable of handling pregnancy complications. Consider your pregnancy symptoms as well. Even if you loved cruising before becoming pregnant, if you tend to get nauseated on the water, you may want to avoid any activity that could cause sea sickness.
3. Set Your Budget Babies are expensive! Before getting carried away with your vacation, think about how much you can realistically spend. If the answer you come up with is "not a lot," don't worry. You can have an amazing babymoon on a budget. Consider a babymoon staycation! Look for mid-week hotel specials in your town or find a spa that gives prenatal massages and book a couple's day there. Or, look to nearby towns that are an easy drive from where you live to keep costs down. If you already have a lot of baby necessities from an older sibling or can snag hand-me-downs, consider asking family and friends for donations toward a babymoon rather than creating a baby registry. Instead of receiving baby gear you don't need, you can request gift certificates for dinner at a restaurant on the beach, a night at a hotel or a prenatal massage in the on-site spa.
4. Get Your Doctor's Okay Before any babymoon plans are booked, check with your OB or midwife to make sure your trip is medically approved. Then schedule a pre-trip checkup to make sure you and the baby are in good health before jetting off. Since this appointment will be close to your departure date, most of your vacation plans will be set. That means it's a good opportunity to ask any questions you have about your destination, such as whether certain local foods are safe to eat or how to avoid Zika virus. Get the okay for any location-specific activities, like rock climbing or long hikes. This appointment is also a good time to ask travel-related questions, such as how often you should get up to walk during a flight or where to place your seatbelt for a long car ride. Pro tip: Some airlines and cruise ships have restrictions on when pregnant women can travel, so you can ask your doctor for a letter confirming your week of pregnancy at this appointment.
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5. Pack Wisely Stick to the essentials when packing so you won't have a mountain of laundry to do when you get home. You also want to be comfortable and cute! A babymoon is the perfect opportunity to refresh your wardrobe and get some basics to take you through the rest of your pregnancy and postpartum. A cute pair of Allbirds slip-ons will help ensure you are able to walk around in comfort on your babymoon. As a bonus, you will have a great pair of shoes you can put on hands-free once your bebe arrives. You can also justify picking up some new clothes to fit your growing belly, like a lounge dress or stretchy leggings from KyteBaby.
6. Plan Some Quality Couples Time A babymoon is a great chance to strengthen your relationship with your partner. Remember what brought you together and enjoy each other's company as a couple before life changes. Take some time to talk about what you are looking forward to and what you are worrying about. If you need some ideas, The Adventure Challenge: Couples Edition is a fun scratch-off book full of ideas to make sure you don't always have the same old date night while on your babymoon.
7. Babymoon at Home Whether you have to stay close to home because you are on bed rest or because every extra penny is going to the baby, you can still have a great at-home babymoon. Treat your babymoon at home the same as you would if you were going out of town. Set an out-of-office auto-response for email and turn your ringer off. Plan to spend a long weekend (or more) doing nothing but pampering yourself, hanging with your main squeeze, eating all your favorite foods and binge-watching whatever you like. A long bath with candles and a weekend of lounging around can do wonders to help you reset and get ready for the next phase of pregnancy—and your baby!
If you’re expecting twins, you may be wondering if there are certain considerations you need to be aware of that are different than those carrying singleton pregnancies. To help you address this, here are some common questions I hear from pregnant women expecting twins.
1. What are my delivery choices with twins? Is it possible to deliver without surgery?
In my experience, about 50 percent of twins are vertex/vertex (both head down) in the uterus. The next most common presentation is vertex/breech, with one baby head down and the other baby bottom down. The second baby can be delivered breech or turned by external cephalic version (ECV). Either option is reasonable. Twins can also both be breech, and I have delivered breech twins vaginally. Of these three possible presentations, the breech/vertex position is considered a poor choice for a vaginal birth because of the chance of locking chins. The pregnant women I’ve treated have not exhibited this presentation, but the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends a C-section in such cases. So in most cases, yes — it is possible to deliver twins without a C-section, and even without an episiotomy.
2. How common is it to have one twin delivered vaginally and one by C-section?
I’ve often said that birthing the first twin vaginally and the second twin by C-section is the worst of both worlds. I have never done this procedure. Management of the second twin requires patience, discernment, judgment, and luck. Of these, patience is the most important. A new mom who has a combination vaginal/C-section delivery will be more tired and sore, and will need much support at home to avoid depression. Recovery time will also be longer, from 4 to 6 weeks. To avoid the vaginal/C-section combination delivery, new moms need to know their options and discuss them with their doctor. If your babies are not vertex/vertex (both head down), what is your obstetrician’s comfort level with managing the delivery?
PRO TIP:Dads can play a big part in post-partum support. In my experience, dads attending prenatal visits and classes are more able and willing to help out after delivery. The father of the quads I delivered took an active part in caring for his babies. He told me he figured out that he changed 7000 diapers per month! Now that’s dedication and commitment.
3. What unique aspects of being pregnant with twins should I be aware of in each trimester? First trimester: Nausea, lack of interest in food, and risk of miscarriage are all higher during the first trimester. Second trimester: Risk of preterm cervical dilation and hypertension increase in trimester two. Third trimester: When pregnant with twins, preterm delivery is common in trimester three. With twins, 38 weeks is considered term.
4. Does giving birth to multiples lead to higher postpartum baby blues, depression, or psychosis?
A multiple pregnancy can have everything a single pregnancy can have, and have more of it. So yes, more baby blues, more depression, and for some, more post-partum psychosis are possible. Dads are most important. They are most available to help. Stay in touch with your care provider and ensure you have a strong support system of friends and family in place for the first few months after you give birth—especially those first few weeks.
5. Can you share tips for nursing twins?
First off, know that nursing twins can absolutely be done. Most often, nursing is simultaneous and each baby gets one breast. Nursing is wonderfully adaptive. The babies can be held like a football under each arm, with the head on the breast and the body and legs to the mother’s sides and back. Most importantly, don’t worry! About the only thing that wrecks nursing is worrying and thinking you can’t. If you think it can’t happen, it won’t. Until your milk production catches up, you may need to top off the twins’ feedings with formula. Please do not worry when providing your twins with a little formula. You are not bad or inferior. Your babies must eat and gain weight.
6. Giving birth to one baby carries some risks for mother and child. Are those risks the same when giving birth to twins?
Giving birth to twins offers more risks for everything. But in my experience, it’s not twice as much risk.
PRO TIP:Don’t smoke!!!
7. Can I maintain my pre-pregnancy exercise regimen when pregnant with twins? What modifications should I make, if any?
Maintaining your pre-pregnancy exercise program depends upon what your pre-pregnancy program was. I would avoid running five miles daily—or even one mile daily. Yoga would be better.
8. Do I need to eat more when pregnant with twins than I would with a singular pregnancy?
Although we kow the optimum weight gain for singleton pregnancies, less is known about multiples. My experience with twins indicates you should eat about 50 percent more than with single pregnancies, but not twice as much. Certainly you need the maternal volume increase, which will be about four pounds a month. There will be more amniotic fluid, more blood volume, more placenta, and more baby.
9. What should I do in terms of self-care when pregnant with twins?
Set your mind at ease by learning more about what it means to carry, birth, and raise twins. The more knowledgeable you feel, the more you will be able to advocate for yourself with your care providers, and navigate all the unique realities that having twins will present to you.
All pregnancies require an increased level of care and attention from expectant mothers. Carrying twins simply means a slightly higher level of due diligence on your part to protect your health and your babies’ health during pregnancy, delivery, and especially during their first few months of life.
Stay in touch with your care provider through each step of your journey, and don’t hesitate to ask these and other questions to help you incorporate the information into your unique pregnancy and birthing experience.
FUN FACT: With deliveries on one side of midnight and one on the other, I have had twins deliver on separate days, separate months, and even separate years (New Year’s Eve / New Year’s Day)!
An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com
Many expectant moms are familiar with the comparisons between fruits and veggies to the size of their growing baby. One mom chronicled her pregnancy in the most fan girl way she could think of. Grace Navarro, a content creator from Orlando, Florida, decided to keep track of her growing bump with weekly photo updates inspired by some of her favorite fandoms: Harry Potter, Disney, and The Office.
Navarro didn’t plan on creating these kinds of updates when she first found out she was pregnant. She was focused on doing a massive Harry Potter pregnancy announcement that had been in the works for years.
While she was working on the video, one of the pregnancy apps she downloaded told her that at 14 weeks, her baby would be the size of a beet. She enlisted her husband Brennan Horine’s photography skills and dressed up as Dwight Schrute, from one of her favorite shows, The Office, since her baby was about the size of a beet from Schrute Farms.
Navarro said, “I thought it would be fun to put together a Dwight progress picture as a one time thing.” She did not expect the reaction she received, and since people loved it so much, she decided to commit to posting a new fandom based pregnancy update each week.
Over the course of her pregnancy, Navarro spent hours brainstorming and trying to come up with costumes for each week. Navarro, had a lot of the supplies on hand, so she was able to cut back on costs, but she found it challenging to continue with the project for so many weeks. She said, “There were times I almost quit, especially when I got sick, but in the end I’m glad I kept on going until the end.”
Looking through the photos, you can appreciate the amount of time and planning that went into creating the shots. Navarro had more than one shoot inspired by The Office. At week 30, she dressed as Jim Halpert holding a stapler encased in Jell-O.
Charlotte “Charlie” Grace Navarro Horine was born via C-section on Nov. 21, 2019 and weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces. As expected, she continues to star in her own photo shoots!