It has “magic” right there in the name, but is this puffed-up jumpsuit actually the answer to all your infant-sleep woes?

My son was crying (again), which meant he wasn’t sleeping—which meant I wasn’t sleeping either. The clock read 3:58 a.m., and even though my brain despises middle-of-the-night math, I calculated that I’d put my 4-month-old back in his crib just 42 minutes ago. It was an all-night, every-night pattern: Sleep for 40-ish minutes and wail until mom comes to soothe you back to sleep. After three straight weeks of this and three months of non-sleeping colic before that, I wasn’t sure I could survive much longer.

After yet another sleepless night, I was at lunch with a mom friend explaining why the bags under my eyes were large enough to carry the groceries I’d just purchased, when she asked, “Have you tried Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit?” She went on to describe a puffy jumpsuit that she promised had helped her 4-month-old twins sleep through the night. This endorsement—and the lack of bags under her eyes—had me running to buy one of my own. Here’s what I learned about Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit.

What is Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit and how does it work?

Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit may sound like it was created by a medieval wizard but it’s actually the brainchild of Maureen Howard, a real-life sleep-deprived mom of four and pediatric physical therapist. She created the suit to help transition babies out of their swaddles. My son was a real swaddle guy, but once he rolled over at 3 months it was no longer a safe option, and he clearly wasn’t adjusting to sleep without it. With so many layers (super-soft cotton sandwiching a puffy layer of polyfil), the Baby Merlin sleepsuit gives 3 to 6-month-olds the secure feeling of a swaddle but with age-appropriate freedom of movement.

There are two zippers on either side of the front to easily get your babe in and out, and the arms and legs are uncinched for hands and feet to breathe, but just heavy enough to muffle your baby’s startle reflex (which was making his arms flail and waking him up). It’s important to note that though the puffy suit has a bit of weight, it’s not weighted, which is considered unsafe by the AAP.

Not only did the suit have more than 21-thousand positive reviews on Amazon, but it was also comforting to know that so many other moms were struggling with sleepless 3-month-olds—and with good reason. Kaley Medina, certified infant and child sleep specialist and founder of Live Love Sleep, says that around the third or fourth month, a significant shift occurs in your baby’s sleep patterns. While newborns only experience two stages of sleep, older babies adopt a “four-stage sleep cycle” with REM sleep decreasing from 50% to 25%. So, with your baby experiencing lighter sleep phases, they may wake up more often because they’re having trouble connecting through their sleep cycles. The swaddle-free bedtime transition, coupled with my little one’s change in sleep cycles, made our nights looooong. Could Merlin actually get my son to sleep?

a baby lying in their crib wearing the yellow Baby Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit

What happened when I tried Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit

My son’s new non-sleep pattern wasn’t going to disappear overnight, and I definitely wasn’t ready to start sleep training, so I ordered the Merlin suit. When it arrived, it was surprisingly soft on the inside and the outside. It was also super squishy and the thickness didn’t feel awkward or stiff. When I moved the front zippers, they slid easily, which seemed great for quick middle-of-the-night diaper changes. Then the real test: I put it on my son to get his opinion. While he did look like a hilarious mini version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, he didn’t whine or struggle once zipped in. He seemed content, blowing bubbles and making his usual cooing sounds. But would he like it at night?

The first night my son slept in his Merlin Sleepsuit, I was nervous. I might have stayed up all night checking on him, but to my surprise, my son didn’t stay awake with me. He slept. After months of not even coming close to sleeping through the night, he only woke up once. I gently patted his chest to reassure him and he fell right back asleep. I felt a knot leave my stomach and breathed a sigh of relief. And this is how our lives went until he outgrew his suit. I was finally able to get some much-needed sleep knowing my son was dozing safely in his crib. Plus, the cost-benefit analysis was solid—at $39.95, the Baby Merlin Magic Sleepsuit costs the same as a week’s worth of Starbucks Grande Vanilla Lattes, and I would have given up anything to get some shuteye.

Related: Do I Have to Put My Baby on a Sleep Schedule? 

Is Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit safe?

Before I put my son in the sleepsuit, I wanted to make damn sure it was safe. Howard has said the Magic Sleepsuit was designed and manufactured with safety as a top priority. As always, if you’re considering trying a new sleep aid, you should chat with your pediatrician first. The website encourages all parents who use the Merlin Magic Sleepsuit to stay up to date on APP guidelines and follow the standard ABCs of Sleeping: Alone, Back, and Crib. This means when using the Merlin Sleepsuit your baby needs to be sleeping on their back all alone in their crib (no stuffies, blankets, pillows, etc.).

Since this thing practically looks like a snowsuit one thing parents worry about is overheating. If anything, you’re supposed to dress your baby in a light layer, like a cotton onesie, while using the sleep suit. When I zipped my guy in, I dressed him in a light cotton t-shirt and a diaper. Some nights (depending on our room temperature), I left out the t-shirt, and this worked great for him. I had my baby’s room set to a comfortable temperature, a coolish 68 degrees Fahrenheit (the recommended range is 68 to 72), and checked on him regularly the first few nights just to make sure he didn’t feel hot.

When to use the sleepsuit

Sizing includes a small at 12-18 lb. and a medium at 18-21 lb. The recommended age for Merlin’s sleepsuit is 3 to 6 months when you’re transitioning your baby out of their swaddle. Once an infant starts rolling over, a tight swaddle (where their hands and arms aren’t free) is no longer safe for sleeping. Oh, and to make matters sleepier, this rolling-over developmental leap can coincide with an infant’s 3 to 4-month sleep regression. Hope Frazier, a pediatric sleep consultant and founder of In Heavenly Peace Sleep, says your baby’s change in sleep at this age isn’t regressing, but forward-moving. “Your infant is letting go of their newborn sleep and shifting forward into their adult sleeping patterns where they have lighter stages of sleep.” This can lead to waking up every few hours—exactly like my son was doing. Transitioning out of a swaddle and all the wake-ups were what led me to try the suit.

A mom sitting with her baby on her lap smiling
Tonilyn Hornung

When to stop using your magic Merlin sleepsuit

The sleepsuit in all its plush glory is designed exclusively for back sleeping, so when your baby’s abs are strong enough to roll over while in the sleepsuit it’s time to say goodbye. Babies shouldn’t sleep in the suit in any other position than on their back. Also, if your baby seems to be “fighting” the suit, trying to roll in it, or acting fussy or squirmy at bedtime, it’s time to move on and give their bodies some more freedom.

How to transition baby out of their sleepsuit

There’s really not one magical way to transition your baby out of their baby Merlin sleepsuit. Some babies will have no issues moving on from the sleepsuit while for others it will play out like a sleep regression as they adjust to a less cozy life. At this point, you’ll transition your little one into a sleep sack and cross your fingers and toes that they sleep. This is why sleep consultants Frazier and Medina prefer jumping straight to sleep sacks after a baby is 3 months old because they’re officially capable of self-soothing. The sacks, which are designed as “wearable blankets,” cover your kid’s torso, legs, and feet but leave their arms out. Medina says she’s partial to the arms-free options because these designs grant babies the freedom to move their arms while they sleep, facilitating comfort and mobility. “It’s a win-win,” Medina begins, “peace of mind for parents knowing their little one is both snug and safe, and the baby enjoys uninterrupted rest with the freedom to wiggle around as they drift off to sleep.”

Both experts agree that sleep training can begin as early as 3 to 4 months, so if you’re comfortable and ready to train you can skip the sleepsuit (and the transition). Frazier says there are different levels to sleep training depending on your child and your own comfort. “The way your child falls asleep is what they’re going to look for in the middle of the night,” Frazier says. So, she would start by being consistent during your bedtime routine. Lie your baby down awake and then let them practice falling asleep unassisted. “You can give your baby a few minutes to fuss, and then go to them to give them a few gentle pats,” she says, which would be a gentle way to begin sleep training.

So, should you try Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit?

The biggest downside for us was the transition out of the suit. There was no easy way for my little guy to say goodbye. Looking back, I simply delayed our sleep training process by a few months. This is why Frazier generally dissuades her clients from using sleepsuits like the Baby Merlin. On the flip side, however, Frazier says it could be helpful for a child who is a very sensitive sleeper or has a strong Moro reflex. Medina explains that while these items may offer a sense of comfort, they aren’t essential for a baby to achieve a good night’s sleep. “There’s no need to invest in an additional transitional product like the Baby Merlin Sleepsuit, as babies will ultimately find comfort and safety in a standard sleep sack.”

That being said, one mom to another, my answer is yes. When friends complain that their 3-month-old isn’t sleeping, and I recognize the telltale ginormous bags under their eyes, I tell them my story. I suggest the magical sleepsuit and explain why it worked for us. My son needed some cushy support to quiet his moro reflex while his sleep pattern shifted. Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit safely achieved this for us. In fact, it’s become a family thing and my sister used it with her two babies. It was magic for her, too.

As a parent, it’s easy to look back and recall all the things you might do differently, but I know I’d choose Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit again. Not only did it help my son sleep, but I also know that in my heart I wasn’t ready to sleep train him at 3 months. The sleepsuit gave me the rest I needed and allowed me to see that my son was capable of sleeping through the night. That was huge, and it built up my confidence for the sleep-training journey that was to come.

Make sure to capture all the cute pics of your baby when they aren’t sleeping—and share them with your family and friends near and far—with the Tinybeans app. The secure platform puts parents in total control of who sees and interacts with photos and videos of their kids.

We’re about to teach you how to get the rest you need!

National Sleep Awareness Week. Have you heard of it? It’s possible it missed your radar, considering all the millions of things that fill your day. From morning to night (and, as parents know, sometimes all through the night), we’re always on the go. We get up, make breakfast, make lunches, get kiddos out the door, go to work, clean the house, do school pick up, help with homework, make dinner, put the kids to bed, and attempt to squeeze in a little time for ourselves. All of those things that actually make it harder to get the rest we need. So if National Sleep Awareness Week 2023 escaped your attention, it’s not really a surprise. And if you’re perpetually looking for tips and tricks to nighttime bliss, you’re not alone!

The ultimate message of the National Sleep Foundation’s Awareness Week is to emphasize how important sleep is to our emotional health, physical performance, and overall well being. It may feel like sort of a “well, duh” statement (we won’t blame you if that was your first thought), but proper rest is beyond critical, especially for us moms. We think it’s the perfect time to offer you some sleep solutions to help make the sleep you do get as effective and restful as possible. While we can’t guarantee more sleep, we can definitely help to improve the quality of the rest you get. Keep reading for some of the best sleep solutions  we’ve found to make waking up much easier.

Apollo Neuroscience Wearable

Apollo Neuro

The Apollo Neuro wearable will change the sleep game for you. It was developed by neuroscientists and physicians for better sleep, relaxation, and focus. It uses gentle, non-invasive technology to send silent, soothing vibrations to the body that help you feel safe and in control. Use the Apollo Neuro app to choose a mode or create a daily schedule to help you transition throughout your day. Developed by physicians and neuroscientists, the Apollo wearable has proven outcomes across sleep quality, focus, heart rate variability, performance, and recovery, and is appropriate for both adults and children.

Apollo Neuro ($349.00)—Buy Now!

Hers Mind Unwind Drops

Hers

A soothing blend of chamomile, ashwagandha, and other calming ingredients helps you to de-stress and decompress so you can relax and fall asleep easier.

Hers Mind Unwind Drops ($25.00)—Buy Now!

Nectar Premier Soft Memory Foam Mattress

Nectar/Raymour and Flanigan

Get ready for the best sleep ever with this mattress from Nectar that's especially perfect for side-sleepers. Is that you? Check out this gone-viral addition to your bedroom!

Nectar Premier Soft Memory Foam Mattress (Starting at $629.40)—Buy Now!

Boppy Total Body Pillow

Boppy

Whether you're pregnant, nursing, or just struggling to find a comfortable sleeping position, the Boppy Total Body Pillow is a must. Your hips, lower back, and shoulders are all supported at the same time, so those pressure points are cushioned all night!

Boppy Total Body Pillow ($55.00)—Buy Now!

Big Blanket Co Sateen Dreams Sheets

Big Blanket Co

You've heard of the original 10x10 Big Blanket. Now meet some of the best sheets from the brand! Oversized top sheet so no more nighttime tugging alone or with your partner, deeeeeeep pockets to avoid midnight pop-ups, and the most breathable sateen fabrication. Comes in 3 colors.

Big Blanket Co Sateen Dreams Sheets ($179.00)—Buy Now!

Google Nest Hub

Target/Google

Not only is it handy for connecting to your home's smart devices, watching movies, looking up recipes, and more, but the Google Nest Hub can also track your sleep habits (without invading your privacy!), play guided meditations and relaxing white noise, and wake you up slowly with a glowing sunrise light! You'll wonder how you lived without it.

Google Nest Hub ($99.99)—Buy Now!

Manta Sleep Mask

Manta

The sleep mask that took the world by storm! With over 12,000 glowing Amazon ratings, zero eye pressure, completely adjustable design, and snag-free fabrics, it's easy to see why people can't say enough good things about it.

Manta Sleep Mask ($35.00)—Buy Now!

Kitsch Vegan Satin Pillowcase

Kitsch

Protect your hair and skin with one of the best-selling (and most affordable!) satin pillowcases out there! It stays cool, helps prevent breakouts and frizz, and absorbs less dirt and oil than traditional pillowcases. Our Shopping Editor won't sleep without one!

Kitsch Vegan Satin Pillowcase ($19.00)—Buy Now!

HUM Nutrition Beauty zzZz Gummies

HUM Nutrition

Do more with your sleep supplement. Dual benefit formula with melatonin and FOS prebiotic fiber helps you fall asleep faster while balancing digestion. 15 minutes or less to fall asleep? We're there.

HUM Nutrition Beauty zzZz Gummies ($26.00)—Buy Now!

Warmies

Warmies

Warmies are the lavender-filled, totally microwavable, weighted and soothing plushes that are perfect for kids and adults (just ask Oprah—Warmies are one of her Favorite Things!). They come in a ton of different adorable animals so you can find the perfect bedtime buddy!

Warmies Pink Llama ($29.99)—Buy Now!

ettitude Woven Vegan Cashmere Throw Blanket

ettitude

Just as soft as traditional cashmere but much more sustainable, the ettitude Vegan Cashmere Blanket is such a great luxury investment for your bed (or couch, or favorite chair...)!

ettitude Woven Vegan Cashmere Throw Blanket ($169.00)—Buy Now!

Luna Weighted Blanket

Luna

If weighted blankets are more your speed, the Luna Weighted Blanket is breathable through all seasons. Weighted blankets help relieve stress by boosting serotonin and aiding in natural melatonin production. It comes in several colors and was featured on the TODAY Show!

Luna Weighted Blanket ($74.99+)—Buy Now!

JJwinks Girl Trip Nightgown

JJwinks

A classic style, but updated! The JJwinks built-in bra you know and love combines with this timeless nightgown in buttery-soft fabric you'll never want to change out of!

JJwinks Girl Trip Nightgown ($110.00)—Buy Now!

Qunol Sleep Gummies

Qunol

If melatonin just isn't cutting it, Qunol Sleep Gummies are a 3-in-1 supplement blend that includes melatonin, L-Theanine, and Ashwagandha. They help you fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. They're gluten-free, vegan, and non-GMO, too!

Qunol Sleep Gummies ($14.66+)—Buy Now!

Kiss My Face De-Stress Body Butter

Kiss My Face/Amazon

Imagine the richest body butter you've ever used combined with the soothing scents of lavender and ylang ylang and you have a bedtime dream come true!

Kiss My Face De-Stress Body Butter ($14.99)—Buy Now!

Clevr Blends Sleeptime Superlatte

Clevr Blends

A caffeine-free nightcap infused with potent sleep-supporting botanicals that help quiet the mind, calm the body, and make it easier to fall—and stay—asleep. It's a comforting step in your nighttime routine (even Oprah thinks so! Yep, Clevr Blends is another on her Favorite Things list!). Oh, and that creamy consistency comes from oat milk, so even the dairy sensitive moms out there can enjoy!

Clevr Blends Sleeptime Superlatte ($28.00)—Buy Now!

Mitcent Air Purifier Fan

Mitcent/Amazon

This bladeless 2-in-1 air purifier + fan is the perfect bedroom addition. It's a super powerful (but gentle) fan with included purifier so you can sleep at your best temperature and breathe easy!

Mitcent Air Purifier Fan ($99.99)—Buy Now!

Verilux HappyLight Luxe

Verilux

Plug it in and get happy! All the benefits of the essential sunlight we need without the harmful UV rays in a completely customizable lamp that you can keep indoors. 

Verilux HappyLight Luxe ($69.99)—Buy Now!

Nestl Cooling Pillow (Set of 2)

Nestl/Amazon

Almost 6,800 Amazon reviews rave about the Nestl! These pillows are filled with gel-infused cooling memory foam for better ventilation and cooling technology that draws heat away from your body.

Nestl Cooling Pillow (Set of 2) ($54.99)—Buy Now!

Iris&Romeo The Reset Luminous Hyaluronic Serum Spray

Iris and Romeo

Your skin absorbs product better at night (that's why nighttime skincare is so important), so seal your evening facial routine with this incredible 3-in-1 hybrid skin spray. It's your secret to dewey, bouncy skin that you can use anytime!

Iris&Romeo The Reset Luminous Hyaluronic Serum Spray ($45.00)—Buy Now!

Actsyl-L Eyelash Growth Serum

Actsyl-L

Get flutter-ready lashes while you sleep! Simply use the included fine-tipped brush to line your lash line every night and watch sparse lashes fill in over time. Plus, Actsyl-L is one of the most affordable lash serums on the market.

Actsyl-L Eyelash Growth Serum ($31.99)—Buy Now!

Beautyrest Zuri Reversible Faux Fur to Mink Electric Blanket

Beautyrest

Chic and cozy, this faux fur heated blanket offers auto shut-off, virtually zero EMF, and machine-washable!

Beautyrest Zuri Reversible Faux Fur to Mink Electric Blanket ($47.11+)—Buy Now!

Zenfinity Bath Pillow

Zenfinity

One of the best ways to relax and unwind before bedtime is a hot bath, and you'll definitely want this (machine-washable!) bath pillow along with you.

Zenfinity Bath Pillow ($30.95)—Buy Now!

 

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

Juggling a baby and toddler? No, not literally, although it sometimes feels that challenging. When child number two appears on the scene, you realize caring for a baby with a toddler along for the ride requires a new approach, creativity and some parent-tested tricks up your sleeve. Read on for our best tips on what to buy, how to organize your day and what to keep on time to help you not just survive but thrive with a baby and toddler.

iStock

1. Find Activities Toddlers Can Do On Their Own
Sometimes you'll need your toddler to occupy themselves. Find something they love, such as giving your toddler a new matchbox car or small doll to keep them happy when they're demanding your attention but you just don't have it to give. For longer stretches, a climber from Coco Village keeps kids entertained without screens and should also tire them out.

2. Find Places Designed for Toddlers
Many public libraries have children's rooms where toddlers can roam when you need to calm, feed or spend one-on-one time with your baby. Some shopping malls have free play areas for toddlers, and many towns have indoor play spaces designed for toddlers or with toddler-specific play hours. If your prefer being outdoors, find toddler-friendly playgrounds at local parks.

3. Schedule One-On-One Time For Your Toddler
Finding even 15 minutes a day to focus on your toddler can go a long way toward preventing jealousy and meltdowns. Have your partner or a grandparent watch the baby so you can have a lunch date on the weekend with your toddler, or spend the first part of your baby's nap focusing only on your toddler before you turn toward other chores. Set aside some time after your baby's bedtime to spend with your toddler, even if that time is just focusing on your toddler's bedtime routine.

Matthew Henry via Burst

4. Look for At-Home Alternatives
If your toddler loves jumping around, set up an obstacle course in your home. If they're more into crafts, hit the dollar store for googly eyes, pipe cleaners, stamps and stickers. Your toddler will probably have a lot more fun doing a toned-down activity with Mom at home then they will with a stressed-out Mom at a big event.

5. Find Yourself!
As stressful as it can be to manage a baby and toddler at the same time, finding ways to add something you enjoy into each day is important. Maybe it’s enjoying a pre-made Mocktail from Mocktail Club and dreaming about tropical beaches while your toddler eats mac and cheese. Maybe it's making time to talk to your BFF. Consider a hobby you can do after the kids go to sleep, like crafting or knitting.

6. Care for Yourself First
Make sure you put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. Monitoring your own health and sleep habits help you take on the challenge of keeping two small humans happy and healthy. Wearing an Oura ring is a simple way to see how much you are sleeping, track your activity level and more. If you can, find some time to take "off" a few hours. Seeing a movie that isn't rated G or grabbing dinner with friends can help you recharge to be your best for your kids.  

7. The Right Stroller
Double strollers can be a lifesaver. Even if your toddler likes to walk, having a ride for them can make it a lot faster to get around with two small children. A stroller that has seats that adjust separately is a great option for kids of different ages.  That way, the baby can recline to nap while the toddler sits up and has a snack. The Britax B-Lively Double Stroller is one affordable option that fits the bill. This stroller also has a car seat adapter so your infant can stay in their infant seat while your toddler enjoys all of the benefits of a full stroller. If your toddler isn't up for sitting, choose a stroller, like the Mockingbird, that you can upgrade with a riding board. Whichever wheels you choose, bring along activities for your toddler to keep them occupied.

iStock

8. Get Organized
While out and about, a diaper bag with separate compartments and lots of pockets keeps your baby’s things separate from your toddler’sand your own! The Petunia Pickle Bottom Boxy Backpack  has distinct compartments, plenty of pockets and a removable pouch perfect for a parent's essentials. Labeling everything is also a huge time-saver, so you always know what belongs to each child and, if items get left somewhere, you can get them returned. Mabel's Labels offers pre-made packs for a variety of uses and adorable designs. Check out our top picks in diaper bags.

9. Simplify Your Routine
Speed up getting ready in the morning with the Revlon One Step Hair Dryer Brush that dries and styles at the same time. Or invest in a Thermomix all-in-one kitchen appliance that can cook entrées, sides and dessert simultaneously and offers 24 different functions. With two little ones at home, it may be time to ditch the gym membership and work out at home. One affordable space-saving option is YBell weights that function as dumbbells, medicine balls, kettlebells and more. Another is FitFighter. These steelhose weights take up almost no space at all and can be used for a variety of workouts. If it's in the budget, hiring someone to help with cleaning or designating one or two nights a week for takeout adds back a few hours to your week. You can even simplify getting dressed: Kizik shoes are cute slip-on sneakers, meaning you can easily take them off and put them on while holding a baby or running out the door after a toddler. 

10. The Perfect Carrier
Having an extra pair of hands would solve a lot of problems, and the next best thing is a baby carrier. There is no one perfect carrier so it’s important to find the best one for your needs. Although you may assume it makes the most sense to put a baby in a carrier, that’s not always the case! Sometimes toddlers want to be carried and that frees up your hands to push a baby in a stroller or feed the baby The Kelty Journey PerfectFit is great for parents who want to switch between carrying babies and toddlers in a carrier. Most carriers work for one age group or the other, but the Kelty PerfectFit can hold babies from 16 pounds through toddlers who weigh up to 40 pounds. Check out the latest in baby carriers & wraps.

Fabian Centeno via Unsplash

11. Bring a Friend
A friend or family member flying solo can help with the baby or your toddler when things get hectic. If that’s not feasible, a friend who has a child around the same age as your older child can make things more manageable. Your child will probably like having a buddy along for the trip and your friend probably won’t mind watching your toddler for a few minutes if you have to duck away to change a diaper or nurse your baby.

12. Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
There may be some activities you just can’t manage with a baby and a toddler. They may be too stressful or dangerous, like bringing two young kids around water. Or after a sleepless night with a baby, you might be too tired to play your toddler’s favorite game. It’s okay to suggest a board game instead of a game of tag. It's okay to pull out a toy your toddler will be excited about when you need a break. Check out these 10 activities your baby and toddler can play without you while you just watch.

—Jamie Davis Smith

featured image: iStock

RELATED STORIES:

10 Playtime Activities for Babies & Older Siblings

16 Baby Games for Every Age from Newborn to Their First Birthday

10 Quick, Easy Self-Care Tips for New Moms

Most days you can find me somewhere in the middle of hope at the intersection of not knowing what I’m doing nor where I’m going. This is the life I’ve grown accustomed to—the autism life.

Covid-19 isn’t my first “new normal.” Receiving an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis for my son three years ago was.

In an instant, our priorities and responsibilities changed, and our entire world as we knew it was rocked by autism. My son Stalen was diagnosed on the spectrum at twenty-one months. He is considered non-verbal. Today, he is a handsome, loving, and all-around amazing five-year-old. I can’t begin to try to put into words the love I have for him.

He is my world. 

So, here I am three years into this journey with him and I still struggle.

Some days, things fall into place and I breathe easy as if someone handed me a GPS, I have a full tank of gas and I know exactly where I’m heading and how to get there. I’m confident and I can even push my luck and turn on cruise control. But then, out of nowhere, a freaking detour. No idea where I’m going, I’ve never been down this road before.

I’m feeling anxious and uncertain, the gas light is on and I’m certain I’m completely lost. I’m a total mess! 

But there it is, that familiar voice of hope in my head, giving me direction, a chance to catch my breath, guiding me and propelling me forward with the promise of better days and the desire to be braver as I try again. 

You know that voice…..

The one you hear every time you’re lost.  

The one you hear at three a.m. when you’re beyond exhausted and your child is awake, ready for the day and demanding chocolate milk and chicken nuggets. 

The voice that attempts to calm your anxiety on your way to another appointment, or after a bad day.  

The voice that tells you that it won’t always be like this. 

The voice that tells you that tomorrow will be better. 

The voice that tells you that you can do hard things. 

The voice that tells you to wipe your tears and try again. 

The voice that encourages you to go all-in when you’re all out. 

And just when you think that voice is gone, when you think “I’m done”, “I can’t do this” it creeps up in photos of better times in your Facebook memories or in the comforting, encouraging words of friends on similar journeys. 

It’s hidden in the comforting smile of a stranger when your child is in a full-blown public meltdown. 

It dwells deep within your tribe of supporters and encouragers. It is tightly wrapped around the words, “I get it” and “I understand” or “how can I help?”

Hope always finds a way. 

It’s in the actions of neighbors who turn their Christmas lights on in July because your child loves them or it shines brightly in the form of “happy packages” left on your front step to cheer up your son. 

It’s the voice of your child saying “Mama” for the first time or even when he says “bum.” 

It’s even hidden amongst the smiles and gasps when you present him with new shoes. 

Yes, the bad times are really bad.

But, the hope that sneaks through during those times when you are forced out of desperation to look for it, is so much better.

Hope is the air we breathe during survival mode. 

It is the diamond in the rough. 

Autism has taught me to find, search, appreciate, fight for, and to hold on to hope like no other experience or situation in my life. 

The progress, the memories, the firsts, the moments that you never thought would happen but they did, the sleepless nights you lived to tell about, the kindness, love, and acceptance of family, friends, and strangers. 

Just like we need to find the joy, we also need to harness the hope. 

So, now when I find myself at that freaking detour sign, I have no idea where I am or what I’m doing…I do know I will find my way back somewhere in the middle of hope.

I always do. 

This post originally appeared on Finding Cooper's Voice.

I am a proud wife, ASD Mom, Step-Mom. At 21 months, my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. He is 5 years old and non-verbal. I have become a full-time stay-at-home mom. I am 1000% focused on raising autism awareness and helping my son live a full and fun life. 

 

Many pregnant women anticipate that the next few years of their lives will be filled with sleepless nights and tired days. While it feels like common sense to think that having a child can mean less sleep, few people ask why we have to sacrifice rest for parenthood, and it’s time that we do.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, 74% of stay-at-home moms report insomnia but working parents can be just as affected to, experiencing problems with performance and even safety risks such as driving to risk with sleep deprivation.

Lack of sleep does more than just cause parents to be tired. Not getting rest can create serious havoc such as causing hormonal changes, weight gain, lack of concentration, weight gain, and a weakened immune system. When you’re trying to devote your time to caring for a newborn baby or busy toddler, these are the last things you should be dealing with.

In fact, studies show that better sleep makes you a better parent, as exhaustion is likely to make parents resort to permissive decisions they may not otherwise choose if rested.

Parents Want to Sleep, but Habits Don’t Change
The infant sleep industry which includes specialized cribs, bassinets, blankets, and other products to help babies fall and stay asleep is a 325 million dollar industry. Parents are willing to pay for a good night’s rest but many end up disappointed in products that do little to nothing to solve the problem.

Why? Devices and smart technology do little to address sleep habits.

So, how do you get the nights of sleep from your pre-baby days and why is it important to spend just as much time investing in you and your baby’s sleep health as you do as something like nutrition?

Why Early Sleep Habits Are Important
Healthy sleep habits are something that follows us through every developmental life stage and those habits start from as young as infancy. So instead of accepting bad sleep, why not use the time with your child to instill positive sleep habits that can set a positive foundation for toddler years and beyond?

If your child has bad sleep habits, the many effects of exhaustion aren’t just something that happens to you or your partner. Research indicates that poor sleep habits that begin early in childhood can lead to problems like obesity, poor academic performance, and learning difficulties.

For many, better sleep simply begins with shifting their philosophy. Sleep health is part of total health and good sleep doesn’t have to be something parents have to wait for—better habits can start in one night.

Consistency Is Key
Learn about your child’s developmental stages and their rest needs. For example, between naps and nighttime sleeping, a six-month-old should be sleeping about 15 hours a day.

A good way to gauge your baby or toddler’s sleep health is to see if they are getting close to their recommended hours of sleep and falling and staying asleep easily (depending on their age). However, if sleep is continually sporadic or seems to be a battle every night, it may be time to look at strategies to help soothe your child and get him or her into a more regular nap and bedtime routine.

Don’t Carry All of the Weight—Communicate!
If you feel like the pressure of your child’s sleep schedule is overwhelming—ask for help. Dividing up nights with your partner as you establish a routine can be a helpful way to ensure you have your own healthy sleep routine. It’s also okay to ask for professional help.

Sleep consultants are infant and toddler sleep experts that can help families get their nights back to normal by providing in-home or remote sleep training. For working parents, the benefit of an in-home consultant can provide both peace of mind and the supportive care needed to get baby and parent rest back on track for good.

Don’t Feel Bad if Regression Happens
Children change and go through many stages. Sleep regression is normal and as long as you’re consistent with your plan of action, you can expect success over the long term.

However, you don’t have to hold your exhaustion up as proof of your parenthood or accept sleepless nights. You and your baby deserve a better night’s sleep.

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Featured image: iStock 

Melissa has 4 children which led her to learn the importance of instilling healthy sleep habits. As a Certified Sleep Consultant, Melissa has developed an approach to sleep training that is tailored to each individual family’s unique goals. Having worked with hundreds of families, Melissa has become a go-to resource for parents.

There’s nothing like a warm cup of tea to help deal with holiday stressors. Lipton RealiTEAS, a line of free, limited-edition wellness teas that offer holiday-inspired benefits for the season’s stressors, flew off the digital shelves in less than 24 hours last year. This Mon., Nov. 16, Lipton RealiTEAS are coming back for the second year with themes relevant to the realities of 2020 that we have all endured.

Lipton Tea

 

Available for free exclusively at Lipton.com/RealiTEAS, the brand is introducing two new themes, 24/7 Sweatpants Season and All I Want For Christmas Is A Better 2021, and bringing back two favorites – Silent Night, Sleepless Night and Whole Lotta Holiday Cookies.

  • 24/7 Sweatpants Season: Feel stress-free in comfy clothing made for relaxation with this caffeine-free herbal supplement, containing cinnamon, chamomile, and lavender (originally Stress Therapy).
  • All I Want For Christmas Is A Better 2021: Cleanse your mind and body of 2020 with this herbal infusion containing rich matcha, cooling mint, invigorating mate, plus probiotics to make you feel revitalized (originally Probiotics Cleanse).
  • Silent Night, Sleepless Night: Embrace your sweetest dreams (despite your endless to-do list) with this herbal supplement, containing chamomile, mint and orange peel (originally Bedtime Bliss).
  • Whole Lotta Holiday Cookies: Sip & soothe your tummy after indulging in holiday treats with our caffeine-free herbal supplement, containing ginger, peppermint and fennel (originally Soothe Your Tummy).

To keep up with demand, Lipton will be doing several drops of this exclusive collection of wellness teas throughout the holiday season. Not only do RealiTEAS make for a lighthearted gift or stocking stuffer, the teas are also the perfect remedy against holiday stressors because we’ve been through enough this year.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Lipton

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Given the time of year, most people are taking some time to reflect on their lives and think about the things and people that they find themselves grateful for. Thinking about this myself, I have to think more intently on what gratitude really looks like to me, and whether or not I turly express it to the depth that I feel it. The answer in the majority of cases, is unfortunately no.

Raising children is difficult.

Then add special needs.

And a pandemic.

Sleepless nights.

Clinical, PTSD-level anxiety.

Communication struggles that turn into meltdowns.

Meltdowns that turn into aggression.

Just so much uncertainty.

But, with each of those struggles, comes something so beautiful—so many things to be grateful for.

Grateful for the excitement and pure joy a new skill brings.

Grateful for that moment when you hit a breakthrough, and communication gains shine through.

Grateful for a supportive husband that recognizes when a break is needed, even though he is tired from a full day of work himself.

Grateful for a helpful, loving, teenage sibling that knows she is her little brother’s person—and will do anything to see him smile.

Grateful for supportive parents that will FaceTime multiple times a week—to only be talked to for maybe two minutes of the half-hour they are on the call. ‘Cause just being connected and accessible to your son calms him, knowing he can see more of his people.’

Grateful for a tribe of friends that get your life, share in your struggles, acknowledge your successes, and champion each other. Love y’all—the ones that lift you up during the hard, no matter the time of day…or night.

Grateful for the team of therapists and teachers, the ones that go above and beyond, so far beyond their call of duty to provide the best format for your child to flourish, and gracefully work with him even when he’s struggling, just being stubborn or even when he’s acting like a maniac squirrel that fell in a barrel of Mountain Drew and drank his way out.

There are just so many things to be grateful for. Yes, this special needs journey has its share of hardships. If not for these struggles, the hard, or the difficult, the good, the gains, and the friendships would likely have never shone through so brightly.

I’m grateful for each and every one of you.

 

This post originally appeared on Hurricane Heffners.

Trista is a mother of two, Allayna and David. David was diagnosed with moderate ASD. She is married to her husband Drew and they live in Wisconsin where she works full-time from home. She enjoys spending time with her family, large amounts of coffee and sharing her family's journey.

What’s it like to be a parent? PBS science series NOVA just  premiered a new digital series, Parentalogic, focused on the science behind parenting. The series launched in partnership with PBS Digital Studios and has its own YouTube channel.

Parentalogic is here to help you navigate the ups and downs of parenting from tantrums to fevers to sleepless nights. Co-hosted by Dr. Alok Patel, pediatrician and on-camera medical news expert, and Bethany Van Delft, comedian and mother of two, the episodes address common parenting conundrums with humor and honesty. Packed with useful health and science research, the series is a great resource for science fans and expecting and current parents everywhere.

“Having kids can bring so much joy, but it can also—at moments—cause panic,” says Julia Cort, NOVA Co-Executive Producer. “Together with PBS Digital Studios, we’re delighted to provide parents with some much-needed relief and support. Parentalogic is the perfect opportunity to do what we do best— bring evidence-based clarity to otherwise mystifying challenges.”

The first episode breaks down the science behind tantrums. Dr. Alok Patel discusses the ways children develop control over their emotions, and our best understanding of the brain processes that culminate in what we see as meltdowns. Bethany Van Delft approaches the topic from the perspective of a parent who has experienced firsthand the mayhem of a tantrum. We gain insight into what is going on in a child’s mind when tantrums occur, and get expert advice on how best to handle them.

“We’re very excited to partner with NOVA on this digital series. Parents are juggling more than ever right now, including an infinite amount of information and misinformation available online,” says Brandon Arolfo, Head of PBS Digital Studios. “With Dr. Patel and Bethany Van Delft as trustworthy guides, Parentalogic is timely programming that explores the art and science of modern-day parenting through a very informative, relatable, and entertaining lens

Other episodes in the series will be posted bi-weekly to the Parentalogic YouTube channel. They will aim to tackle the complex and often taboo questions parents are confronted with. How do you decide between breastfeeding, formula, or a combination of both? Where do allergies come from, and does exposure to allergens make a child more or less likely to develop allergies later? Why do fevers happen? How do you know if a child’s bathroom habits are okay?

Parentalogic is proof we can deliver high-quality information about a serious topic in an engaging and lighthearted fashion. I’m thrilled to be working with Bethany, an all-star, Renaissance mom who can dance circles around me when it comes to raising children. This juxtaposition comes across on camera and it’s hilarious,” said Dr. Alok Patel, Parentalogic Co-Host. “This show is a blend of intricate medical physiology, practical knowledge, and humor. It doesn’t feel like a lecture, it feels more like a conversation you could have with someone at a bar—assuming you were talking about poop, sleep training, and vaccines, of course.” 

“Growing up, I was a big fan of NOVA, especially how easily they explained complex science and how they were consistently trustworthy,” said Bethany Van Delft, Parentalogic Co-Host. “I hope Parentalogic helps lessen the chaos and uncertainty of the Internet from parenting by providing science, and clear, evidence-based answers. I also hope it offers parents confidence, a little relief, and some laughs, and sets an example for a respectful relationship between a doctor and a parent.”

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: NOVA

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I raised my kids with a strong anti-bullying message, so why was I so shook and shocked when they wanted to attend black lives matter protests?

My 19-year-old son works at a high-end posh steakhouse in the heart of downtown. Typical America.

Initially, when he got his schedule for this past week, I was thrilled he was receiving so many hours. I do know it’s risky for him to be milling about in public with this coronavirus still at large, but ever since he got sent home from his university after Spring Break due to public health concerns, I’ve grown increasingly concerned over how detrimental it is to his overall well-being to be isolated from his peers at his age.

As parents know, it’s a balancing act.

For my son, at least right now, I believe it’s in his best interest to wear a mask and work a few days per week. It feels like a chance worth taking, in the ongoing trapeze walk that has become my life as a single parent.

Until this past weekend…

I spent 7 hours glued to the news. It was more news than I’ve watched since my husband was killed. In fact, it was the very first time I have watched the news since I watched my sweetheart’s mangled motorcycle being towed off the street on 3 separate news channels. I picked up the remote, clicked the news off, and haven’t seen a news report since.

Until Saturday.

But big trouble was brewing in our downtown area. My youngest son was down there oblivious to it all the violence, bussing tables. My biggest worry was him getting to his car safely after work. I texted him to come straight home after his shift ended and steer clear of any protests or large crowds.

He texted me back assuring me that there were not any protests in our town. He added that they were only in very large major cities; adding that IF there was one, he would definitely choose to attend.

That was when I knew I potentially had a dilemma on my hands. I don’t know why it never crossed my mind that he wouldn’t avoid the protesters, but would rather seek them out. He has never been one to stomach social injustice in any form.

At that point, I hadn’t even made myself watch the George Floyd video. I admit I’ve allowed myself to live in a protective bubble since my husband was killed. Can we just write it off to some innate survival instinct? I cried all night after I watched the video.

My boy arrived home safe and sound a few hours later. Exhausted to the bone from a grueling night at the restaurant, completely oblivious to the fact that there had indeed been a mild uprising in our medium-to-large sized city, with more planned for the following day.

The next morning, my son woke up to several informative texts from friends. The group Black Lives Matter had organized a daytime rally which would start that afternoon at the steps of our state capital and march to the steps of our city’s police station.

I heard about it the night before so I knew before my son did. I spent all night researching reasons why he shouldn’t go. I had a dozen good reasons—ranging from the fact that hate groups were protesting against the peaceful protestors in very dangerous and aggressive ways. I also came up with some dumb “Mom reasons,” such as you’ll need a TON of sunblock out there to protect your ginger skin in that blazing heat…

I know. That’s super lame. But I was desperate and my youngest of five children is a cross between Prince Harry and Ed Sheeran.

In the end, after a sleepless night of grappling with the pros and the cons, I realized that I raised all five of my kids from the cradle to the crowd—the protesting crowd. I was never the mother that chased my kids with a jacket, a tissue or even a bedtime. I trusted them to know if they were cold or sick or tired…it was always their call. But what I always drew a hard line at was character issues and mistreatment of others.

I recall drilling into each and every single one of them that they had more than a responsibility, but a MANDATE to protect the bullied. I specifically remember telling this very son once, when discussing a kid in his class that was being bullied, if he stood by silently, than he was AS GUILTY as the bully himself.

So…now my kids accuse me of making them overly-sensitive. Okay. I guess I can own that. I hope they can work that into my eulogy. Better yet, maybe I can just write my own eulogy. I think I’d like that.

Is that a thing?  Please tell me that’s a thing. It needs to be a thing.

So, I’m going to grit my teeth and grip my rosary while my kids stand up against what they feel is wrong in this country. I pray to God it doesn’t cost me any children because I know I’ll only have myself to blame (and their Dad who caused many a dust-up speaking his mind anytime he wanted. He was not afraid to challenge authority—EVER!!!).

It looks as though I’m not the only mom who raised a new generation of bull-headed, strong-willed, rabble-rousers who not only speak, but also live their truths.

I think what our generation can do right now is attend daytime peaceful protests (they need us!) donate funds, organize vigils, and change the rhetoric, for the love of God and humanity.

But most importantly, let’s show our kids we are proud of them for doing the right thing at the right time and to making a difference in the world one generation at a time.

And, of course, we can still make them wear sunblock.

 

Everyone from leslie's husband of 33 years, to her 5 children squirm in discomfort when she uses everyday family experiences as fodder for her blog, "A Ginger Snapped."  They can routinely be heard complaining as she tattles on them in what they commonly refer to as, "Pandora's tablet!"

In October 2005, my middle son was born. In 2018, he graduated from college.

Today, I’m trying to figure out how time works.

Eons ago I had three kids in three and a half years. Life was abuzz. Now I have two college graduates and kid number three will walk across the college stage next May. Life is profoundly quiet.

But at one point my life was full of noise and chaos. I didn’t know which end was up.

As moms, ensuring the health, safety and well-being of our children is only one enormous responsibility we have in life. Other roles may include wife, volunteer, career person, caregiver, confidant, ministry leader, coach, etc. When so many moving parts vie for our attention, the load can be overwhelming. At any given moment, one or more of these areas can break down and leave us reeling.

If we don’t tend to the damage when the mishaps occur, before long our life as a whole can get out of hand. I’ve been there. When my house was full of littles, my husband traveled for work. Over time, my exhaustion turned to resentment, which gave birth to marital strife, which resulted in sleepless nights. During the teen years, the battles over independence left me frazzled, which morphed into eating stress for breakfast, lunch and dinner, which brewed up ulcers in my belly.

What I came to learn the hard way is the value and importance of slowing down. To pause long enough to take a step back and evaluate what’s going on. Sometimes this looks like getting away for a day by yourself, meeting up with supportive friends or making the time to attend a weekend spiritual retreat.

I don’t know whether you are in the throes of littles, the sweetness of the elementary years, the drama and heartache of middle school, the push and pull of teenager land or staring into the abyss of an empty nest. What I do know is these seasons fly by. Which is why with every passing year I’m reminded that right NOW is all that matters. This moment.

Regardless of the stage of motherhood we are in, the only way to bend time in our favor is to immerse ourselves in the present. In the messes, joys, trials, celebrations, painful moments and idyllic experiences.

To experience any of these scenarios means we are still here. Alive and breathing. Blessed.

Every second counts when time races by at the speed of light.

Although life sneaks up on us, LOVE is a constant.

God guarantees us this gift. It’s ours for the giving and receiving. Right now. In this moment.

This post originally appeared on Today Parents.

A self-described “sappy soul whisperer/sarcasm aficionado,” Shelby is a wife of 27 years & mom of three millennials. She co-authored How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don't need to say, "I'm fine.") Her stories are in print at Guideposts, online at sites like Her View From Home and Parenting Teens & Tweens, and at shelbyspear.com. Get 3 FREE chapters of Shelby's book