So you have a newly-mobile little one. An official toddler. It’s a whole new world for both of you and while you’re baby-proofing all the things and chasing them down the hall, it’s also time to stop (you know, when they’re asleep) and consider what first walker shoes to start them out with. They’re a little different from pairs for older kiddos. New toddlers need shoes designed to keep them upright (obviously) and support their foot development. Luckily, there are so many baby shoes for new walkers to choose from, so you’ll be able to find the perfect pair or two for their little feet.
Carter's Relay Sneakers
Carter's
Carter's line of shoes for new walkers, called Every Step, features sneakers, boots, Mary Janes, moccasins, and even high-tops. A double hook-and-loop closure makes it easy to put on and take off these shoes, and the cute, classic styles and colors mean they'll easily match with your child's outfits.
The First Steps line from Wobbly Waddlers,offer a flexible rubber sole, leather insole, ankle support and additional stability to support toddlers as they learn to walk. The shoes in this line are handmade in Mexico and come in cute and classic styles.
Four heart cutouts dress up this classic leather Mary Jane from BirdRock Baby. There's an elastic band at the ankle that keeps shoes snug and makes it easy to take them on and off. And with each purchase, BirdRock Baby donates a day's worth of food to a child in need through the charity Feed My Starving Children. BirdRock Baby also makes super cute moccasins and baby booties in a variety of colors and styles and at reasonable prices.
RO + ME by Robeez, their line of soft-soled shoes, feature eye-catching metallic and sequin accents and casual designs that can be dressed up or dressed down. They're especially made for babies in all stages from crawlers to walkers. Available in 6 styles.
Zutano booties not only stay on little feet; they have a grippy sole that give them stability. Parents will love the hook-and-loop side closures, which make slipping the shoe on and off squirmy baby feet a breeze. Available in a ton of colors and prints.
Pediped's First Walker Shoes are designed for a toddler's first steps, with flexible soles and spacious toe boxes that let little feet learn to grab onto the ground and march forward with confidence. Available in 7 fun color combinations, too.
For almost 100 years, Stride Rite has been making shoes for teeny tiny feet. The kicks in the Stride Rite Soft Motion line are built for toddlers' first steps, with bendy flexible bottoms, strong closures and rounded soles that won't trip up your toddler. Plus, these shoes come as small as a size 3 and in three different widths, so you should be able to find ones that fit well.
These slip-on baby shoes are incredibly flexible, soft, and come in a ton of different colors! They're also really affordable, so you can grab a few to mix and match.
jbrds Stand2Walk Baby Shoes' sock-like upper and injection-molded support cage are designed to promote the healthy development of feet + provide the support for first steps. They come in multiple colors, too.
It's never too early to start them on a journey into the classics. The footwear classics, we mean. These little Superstars come in multiple colors, too.
All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.
If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.
Sometimes I want to give up on this couple smiling in the photo.
Sometimes I want to give up on the stability, the memories, the relationship built over 22 years. Sometimes I want to leave the man who gets frustrated too easily or often doesn’t see the world the way I do or still leaves the toilet seat up upon occasion. Sometimes I crave a simpler life, one without conflict or obligation or concessions.
Because sometimes marriage is just hard, too hard to see through to the end.
The smiling woman in the photo is not the same person at 44 as she was when she met this man at 22. She is hardened and jaded and often feels broken. She shows more compassion to those in pain because she also suffers, yet sometimes she forgets to dispense empathy to those closest to her. She puts others’ needs before hers because that is simply what mothers do—although sometimes she resents it. She loves hard and full and fierce, but sometimes she wonders if that is enough.
Sometimes I want to give up on this marriage—and I’m not sure what stops me.
Certainly, it is the three young faces that stare back at me over the family dinner table. It may be the fear of living a life without a partner. Perhaps it is the complication of separating two intertwined lives or the thought that the grass is always greener on the other side.
It would not be uncommon or unusual. Many friends entering mid-life echo my sentiments, struggling to keep their marriages afloat, some with more success than others. I’ve watched couples disintegrate before my eyes because of tragedy or betrayal, and other unions slowly rip at the seams because two people grew apart or sought different lives.
So, sometimes, when I want to give up, I look—I mean really look—at the pictures of us. I see the multitude of lines that adorn our faces, the result of so much joy and laughter shared between two souls. Each smile reminds me that we overcame the pain of miscarriages and infertility and deaths and illnesses only because of the strength of the other. The sight of us touching reminds me of the thousands of embraces we’ve shared over two decades and how when he reaches back to grab my hand in a crowd, it still takes my breath away.
And I look into his eyes, and I see that he is still the most decent man I have ever known.
Sometimes marriage is hard, harder than maybe it should be. Giving up may be logical, easier, or sometimes even the right thing to do.
Sometimes I want to give up on this man, but not today.
Because although I’m in the season of marriage that is difficult and exhausting and hard, in these pictures and in this life, there is always a new reason to fall in love with him all over again if I look hard enough.
So, in those times when I want to give up on this couple smiling in the photo, I am reminded that for our marriage “joy cometh in the morning,” as it always does.
Whitney is a freelance writer, social media manager and blogger at Playdates on Fridays, where she discusses family, relationships and w(h)ine. She is an expert in carpool logistics, coffee and making to-go dinners for her family to eat in the minivan. She resides in the suburbs of Chicago with her three tween daughters, husband and her dog that acts more like a cat, Jax.
Toddlers are hardwired to have a favorite parent, but love has nothing to do with it
My three-year-old won’t let my husband get her ready for bed. You know, that fun phase when your toddler prefers one parent? Only I will do. Cute, right? You may be imagining some mommy-and-me cuddles, footie pajamas snuggled into the crook of my arm while we read our favorite stories and sing silly bedtime songs. Not quite! Instead, picture this: I send her with her dad to get ready for bedtime, while I take a break to watch my favorite show. It’s called Washing the Dishes—I binge it every night. But about midway through, I have to go rescue them both and finish her bath (and her brother’s, who’s in the tub, too), get them dried and dressed, teeth brushed and jammied up, as only I’m permitted to do. When it’s all done, all I want to do is lie horizontally and stare at the ceiling.
Being the preferred parent for every task, every time, is hard, especially when you’ve worked or parented all day. And for single parents, it’s hard when you’re somehow managing to do it all nonstop (more on this further down). You’re depleted, and odds are good that you still have a day’s worth of work ahead of you when they finally go to sleep. It’s not your child’s fault. It’s not your partner’s fault. It’s just the way it is right now, and you’re torn between loving the honor and drowning in your child’s constant need for your help.
What is toddler favoritism?
Toddler or parental favoritism is when a little kid only wants to spend time with one parent and will mostly only allow that parent to take care of their needs. And they aren’t subtle. They can be so forceful in their preference that not getting mom or dad can lead to tantrums and physical resistance.
Why do toddlers have a parental preference?
For a number of reasons. Toddlers are constantly trying to assert their independence and this is one way to do so, much like how they choose a particular lovey as their favorite (and we hope you have at least three backups stashed away!). They also tend to develop a preference for the parent who more routinely does things for them, and this preferred parent can change over time—like when a new baby joins the family and your firstborn starts spending way more time with the non-birthing parent.
Favoritism is actually also a survival tactic for kids. “Children, especially ones under the age of 5, are reliant on their primary caregivers for survival and unconsciously act on this when they insist on only accepting help and nurturing from one parent,” says Sarah Alperin, a child behavior expert. “Of course, it’s not personal, though it can be really hard not to take it that way when you’re the parent who’s shut out.”
When a kid sees that one parent is more available than the other, they fight to keep it that way because connecting and having their needs met is so crucial, so they go where they get the most consistent results. This is called ‘hierarchies of attachment,’ in which kids unconsciously rank their caregivers based on who has been around the most. As their memories improve and they experience more with all caregivers, they become more comfortable with both parents and less rigid about who they want in their corner.
Should you be concerned if your toddler prefers one parent?
According to experts, this phenomenon isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be a sign of a healthy relationship between a child and both parents. “Favoring or excluding one parent is your child saying, ‘I can choose you right now because I know my other parent will be there for me regardless’,” says Lydia Mays, Ph.D., founder & CEO of See Beautiful. “Child favoritism and exclusion ebb and flow through not only the toddler years but also into childhood.” And guess what? It’s even expected during a time of uncertainty, anxiety, or stress. Toddler parents learned this all too well in 2020.
How to handle your kid only wanting mom or dad
So what do you do? How do you parent one, or even multiple kids, when you’re constantly being tapped to provide care and reassurance for your “barnacle child?” (We’re not being mean. We didn’t make up that term. It’s a thing.) First and foremost, the parent who is not preferred needs to play it cool. “When parents take it personally, children know and begin to sense parental insecurity,” Alperin explains. “Any insecurity a child senses in a parent will signal them to push them farther away in an attempt to seek a more competent and capable caregiver. What children seek and respond to the most is consistency, safety, acceptance, and connection.”
There are also ways to help foster connection between your kiddo and their less-preferred parent. Mays suggests the following ways to help the less-chosen parent swing the pendulum back toward shared parental choice—and avoid hurt feelings and total burnout:
For the “Barnacle Parent”:
Pass the fun baton: Divvy up roles and let the “less-chosen” parent tap in for the things your toddler loves to do most!
Be gone: When you’re physically away from your child, it provides opportunities for your toddler to have reconnecting and relationship-building time with the other parent.
Handoff: When your child is leaning heavily on you for support and the other parent is home, hand off the toddler’s need to the less-chosen one (e.g., “Mommy can’t right now, but Daddy can help you” or “Daddy’s busy right now, but Papa is free to do that with you.”)
High praise: Give compliments to the other parent in a way that your child can see the wonderful things that person is doing, too. For example, “Mommy makes up the best bedtime stories!” or “Daddy’s dinner is always my favorite. It’s so delicious.”
For the “Less-Chosen Parent”:
Have thick skin: It makes perfect sense that feeling snubbed by your toddler would be tough, but this action is only because you’re doing a great job and your child trusts you and knows you’ll be there for them. While hard, it’s a healthy phase for your child. Try not to get your feelings hurt. Be patient, understanding that withdrawing or showing frustration could further strengthen the attachment between your child and the “barnacle parent.”
One-on-one: Take some time to establish new one-on-one routines and traditions.
Love hard: Consistently affirm your love for your child and reassure him of your presence and the joy you experience being part of his life every day.
For parents navigating this alone:
Your goal will be to bolster your child’s independence and confidence. Atlanta psychologist Ellen Berman, Ph.D., notes that “single parents are in a unique relationship with their children, in that they must find ways to balance the family responsibilities in age and developmentally appropriate ways, often more so than dual-parent households.” To encourage your “barnacle baby’s” independence, focus on:
Routine: During the day, when kids know what to expect and when, they’re more likely to take on new responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed.
Advance planning: Odds are, you’re juggling a million tasks at once. When your child needs your attention, it might help to be prepared with a re-direct (if you’re unable to help right then) or with a set time during your day when you can help.
Prioritizing sleep: There’s no doubt that you’re burning the candle at both ends. Make sure you’re giving yourself time to recharge and remember that your child’s frustration at sometimes having to take a number is greatly magnified when they’re tired, too.
At the end of the day, this phase won’t last forever, and we promise you’ll get through it. Whether you’re constantly being chosen to do all the things, or never—or perhaps you have no choice and are the only option for doing all the things—you’re likely doing it very well, and we see you. Keep up the good work, and in the meantime, check out these children’s books, which might help spread the love.
Children’s books for relationship reconnection with Dad:
Whether you are looking for a longtail, long john, or frontload trike cargo bike, we have the inside scoop on what works best for families
If you’re itching to get back in the saddle post-kids (sorry, SoulCycle doesn’t count), but don’t know where to begin, we have a solution—a cargo bike. Manufacturers around the globe have come up with creative ways to transport your entire clan on two or three wheels, which makes your journey back onto the bike path as easy as well, riding a bicycle. We’re breaking down 17 of the best family cargo bikes out there with the pros and cons of each. It’s time to ride!
While there are many ways to bike with kids—from bike seats to trailers to tandem bikes—in this article, we focus on the three styles of the family cargo bike: the Long John or Bakfiets, which has a cargo area in front; the Longtail, which has a room for kids in the back of the driver; and a Front Load Trike or Tadpole trike, which has a front cargo and three wheels for stability. Many of the bikes listed below are electric-assist, which makes biking with heavy loads or uphill much more enjoyable, according to cargo bike enthusiasts.
Let’s Talk Cost
While the high prices for many models are not for the faint of heart, some families justify the expense by using cargo bikes as a car replacement for daily school and grocery runs. If cost is still an issue, consider exploring the robust second-hand market, where cargo bikes can be purchased for a fraction of the cost, so be sure to check out our list of second-hand resources at the end of the article. Also, if you’re wondering if a cargo bike is right for your family, ask yourself these 14 questions.
Best Long John Bikes (also called a Bakfiets)
1. The E-Cargo by Amsterdam Bicycle Company starting at $4,325 This e-cargo bike comes with several different options, including the classic long, the bolted box and the cruiser long with vintage looks. It has the latest model Shimano Steps electric assist system (E6100), a range of 35-75 miles, a two-gear auto gear hub and premium roller brakes that even work well in the rain.
Kids: Up to 2
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
It's designed and made by a well-known cargo bike company. It's easy to ride and looks great.
Cons:
Some assembly is required.
What owners say: "Our bikes are handmade to order in the Netherlands. They are engineered, built and checked to the highest standard in safety, durability and comfort, and require low maintenance. After all, our bicycles are made to be used daily, year-round and still last a lifetime, outside in the Dutch rain." Read more.
2. The Load 75 by Riese & Müller, starting at $7,629 This electric cargo bike from Riese & Müller comes 6% more outer length, but 50% more cargo space—with the same agility and maneuverability. You can customize the cargo space depending on your family's needs—options include High Side Walls, Low Side Walls, Tarpaulin, Single or Double Child seat, Luggage Shelf, Child Rain Cover, Carrier and more.
Kids: up to 3.
Electric assist: Yes
Pros:
This is a bike that both parents can use. There's an angle- and height-adjustable stem and adjustable saddle height, so the seat position can be altered to accommodate body sizes from 1.50 m to 1.95 m and adapted to preferences from sporty to comfortable.
Cons:
It's pricier than other cargo bikes on the market.
What owners say: "With this bike, nothing can stand in the way of your family’s goals of world domination and fun times together! Check out that rain cover with the zip-up sides! Yay!" Read more
3. Bullitt Cargo Bikes by Larry vs Harry, Starting at $3,300 The Bullitt is considered one of the “most flexible” cargo bikes on the market, designed to be used as a completely customizable system, from colors to components and accessories. Designed in Copenhagen, the Larry vs Harry team has decades of great bike building on their resume.
Kids: 1-3 in box + possible rear seat add-on
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
Narrow enough for city streets and bike lanes
Light enough to ride without electric assist
Modern interpretation of an older and tested bike design originating in Denmark
Cons:
Steering can feel wobbly at first (the faster you go, the steadier is gets)
What the Pros Say: “The Bullitt Clockwork is light and nimble, and it is hard to come up with a load that can’t be carried on this bicycle." Read more
4. Family Bike, by Urban Arrow, $5,950 This Dutch company makes high-quality cargo bikes that use the newest technology and state-of-the-art materials to move people and freight through town in the fastest possible way. Their goal? Reduce the use of scooters and cars.
Kids: 1-3 in box, + possible rear seat add-on
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
Narrow design perfect for navigating city streets
New technology like Nuvinci hub gear and Bosch pedal assist
Lots of customization options are available
Cons:
It is a really big bike, both width, and length and we’ve heard turning is difficult
What owners say: “The Urban Arrow’s child-hauling and commuting setup is unbelievably swank. Considering all the features packed into it, the Urban Arrow feels shockingly light.” Read more
What the pros say: “With Dutch smarts, this electric motor-assisted cargo bike delivers the goods for a household. This is a bike with enormous potential to take the place of a car.” Read more
You'll love the easy-to-load front box and the bamboo style that comes with it from this eBike from Yuba. The 20-inch wheels give it a lower center of gravity for easier maneuverability.
Kids: 1-3 in box, + possible rear seat add-on
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
Holds the whole crew + cargo too, including the family pet!
Has rider-friendly cable steering design for smooth and easy turning
Cons:
One of the priciest bikes on the market
What owners say: “I can’t say enough good things about this bike! It has changed our lives and enabled us to ditch our second car. The kids (ages 1 and 4) absolutely love cruising around. "
1. NEW: Flyer M860 by Radio Flyer starting at $1,699
This beloved red wagon company recently launched a foldable cargo bike that's perfect for families who are looking to save on storage space. It comes with smaller tires than their previous eBike model and 220 lb. max rider weight. With lots of customizable options, you can add on a 5-point harness Thule seat for littler ones or snag the kid carrier for when they get older. There's also a kid and cargo carrier for those who might want the flexibility of porting a kid sometimes and gear at other times. There's even a bike trailer that doubles as a stroller for the ultimate convenience. Don't miss out on adding your AirTag to the specially-designed compartment behind the seat.
Kids: 1
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
Easy to store
Affordable
Lots of compatible accessories to make it your own, including a Thule Yepp Maxi Seat and a kid carrier for older kids
Cons:
Single speed
What the pros say: "Whether you're heading to the beach, camping in the mountains, or exploring a new city, this electric bike is the perfect companion for all your adventures." Read more
This beloved red wagon company recently launched an eBike, cargo bike, and eScooter line and families are thrilled. With lots of customizable options, you can pop two little ones in the back or even add on a 5-point harness Thule seat for even littler ones. The kid and cargo carrier is a great option when you ditch the kids and head out on a solo trip to the farmer's market as it converts from a kid seat to a cargo basket. Or, snag the Flyer Duoflex that transforms from a bike trailer to a double stroller in a flash.
Kids: 1-2
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
Affordable
Lots of compatible accessories to make it your own, including a Thule child seat
Cons:
Heavy
What the pros say: "The bike feels light and nimble even on the lightest pedal-assist mode, which is where I felt most comfortable while pedaling." Read more
3. RadWagon, by Rad Power Bikes, starting at $1,899 The Seattle-based start-up is looking to disrupt the electric bike industry with a direct-to-consumer model that is more cost-efficient than competitors. They use Velofix (like a Geek Squad for bicycles) to build, tune and deliver bikes.
Kids: 1-2 on back
Electric assist: yes
Pros:
One of the most affordable e-bikes on the market
Lots of customization options
Cons:
Cheaper components, not having a dealer to rely on (though Velofix seems to have taken some of the pain out of assembly)
What owners say: "Overall, this bike is an amazing deal for the price.” Read more
What the pros say: "Affordable, feature-rich cargo-style electric bike with a stiffer and lighter frame because it's not quite as long as some others." Read more
Charge is a direct-to-consumer bike brand that has delivered a family-friendly cargo bike that's perfect for city dwellers with storage on their mind. The Comfort 2 is an updated version of the best-selling Comfort Bike and is the first new model since the brand’s launch in 2020.
Kids: 1 on back
Electric assist: yes, five levels
Pros:
Super easy assembly (you don't even have to remember to thread the pedals on in the opposite directions as they just fold down)
Space-saving storage with fold-down pedals and rotating handlebars
Wider tires for a more stable ride with battery weight in the rear
Available in candy red, white, and midnight blue
Cons:
This bike has a thumb throttle so if you are used to the twist throttle, you'll want to take note.
What owners say: "The Comfort 2 now also comes with enough rear-rack weight capacity for a child seat, making it perfect for families.” Read more
What the pros say: "The slim storage profile is what really sets the Charge Comfort 2 apart for me, and if you have an apartment or garage with limited room, you will greatly appreciate the folding handlebars and flip-down pedals." Read more
5. Spicy Curry by Yuba starting, $5,199 This Northern California-based company has upgraded its popular e-bike with a Bosch CX Performance motor for hills and traction. A lightweight and stylish cargo bike that lets kids sit on the back of the bike while Mom or Dad pedals. The rear cargo seat can fit two kids in Yepp seats or up to three kids sans seats.
Kids: 1-3 on back
Electric assist: yes
Pros:
Lightweight (about 60 lbs)
a low rear deck over a 20” wheel for greater stability
Cons:
The side-loaders (where kids place their feet) can scrape up against curbs and other objects.
What owners say: “The Spicy Curry was built from the ground up as an assisted cargo bike for hills. It is very different from their other models, from my perspective in a good way.” Read more
What the pros say: “The Spicy Curry is a mid-drive powered electric cargo bike from Yuba! The primary benefit is efficiency and power because the drive system leverages the same eight-speed drivetrain that you do as a rider!” Read more
The Bosch Performance motor lets you zip from work to school to soccer practice without breaking a sweat. It comes fully ready to carry kids and lots of cargo, right out of the box.
Kids: 1-3
Electrical assist: Yes
Pros:
The Hooptie child enclosure is included in the original purchase price.
Bosch electric-assist Performance motor has a top pedal-assist speed of 20 mph.
Other cool features like battery integrated lights, a dual battery system for longer rides and a centered weight approach.
Cons:
Not easy to transport somewhere else (plane or car).
Visibility can be a problem depending on what accessories you have installed.
What owners say: "The Edgerunner feels the most 'like a bike:' it is zippy, peppy, and smooth." Read more.
What pros say:Electric Bike Review chose the eSwoop as one of it’s coveted "Best Electric Cargo Bikes" for 2018/2019.
7. Big Fat Dummy, by Surly Bikes, starting at $3,175 This popular cargo bike allows passengers to be carried on the back with the use of the Dummy Rail Collars or the Thule Yepp Maxi Seat. It's got fat tires for a sturdier ride, which is key when you're hauling precious cargo!
Kids: 1-2
Electrical Assist: No
Pros:
The extra-wide tires mean you might be able to do some trail riding with the kids in tow.
Cons:
There are added costs (extra gear) if you want to tow passengers.
What owners say: "The BFD has exceeded my already high expectations for its stability, comfort, utility, versatility, and design. My daughter loves riding on the back and typically requests that we ride to school rather than take the bus. Even without a passenger, I love riding the BFD and leaving the car in the garage while I get both a workout and my jobs done." Read more
8. Stretch, by Pedego, starting at $3,595 Founded in 2008, Pedego is one of the largest electric bike brands in America. They have their own dealers, as well as distribution through many bike shops and on Amazon. This makes it easy to purchase and service the bike. The Stretch has many cool features, like the powered USB port for your phone and audio.
Kids: 1-3
Pros:
Pedego has a great reputation and many shops are familiar with the brand for service and repair
The Stretch has can be accessorized with products from the Pedego line
Cons:
We’ve been told the frame is stiff, so may not be as comfortable as other rides
What owners say: “It is a powerful, beautiful, cruiser style and is not only fun to ride but I get to choose how much I exert myself.” Read more
What the pros say: “ Pedego hit the price point well and make a bike that is as smooth as silk. The way E-bike control systems work is a big deal for me and I am happy to report this one is spot on.” Read more
The Samsung battery gives you a range of up to 45 miles.
4 x3 Harness belts and 2 roll cage bars are included in the price.
It's got comfy toddler seats.
There's a rear cargo rack.
Cons:
It costs more to have a fully assembled bike delivered.
What the owners say: "Ferla Bikes has been manufacturing innovative commercial tricycles since 2013. A pure expression of passion for Cargo Bikes, Ferla Family Bike was the perfect project for us. As a world leader in this niche, Ferla Bikes have always believed in the power of quality & design. Ferla Family is in safe hands."
What the pros are saying: "The bike is very spacious, there are no more problems with taking all our staff with us, it can be easily stored inside the cargo box, so we can go a long distance and have everything we need with us. The bike is also very reliable, the battery lasts us very long, it is very easy to steer, the brakes are really powerful and the bike itself is stable." See another review on YouTube here.
2. Family Cargo Bike by Bunch Bikes, starting at $3,999 Gather your tribe and get ready to explore your community in this three-wheeled cargo bike—electric motor optional! Easy-release levers make changing the seat and handlebar height a breeze, so adults of all sizes can hop on and pedal away (good luck with those hills).
Kids: 1-5. This cargo box comes equipped with two benches and four child seat belts, and a standard bike child seat can be installed on the rear rack to squeeze in one more passenger.
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
Arrives at your doorstep fully assembled and ready to ride!
There's a full line of accessories for the bike: Seat cushions, front door, sunshade, rain cover, infant/toddler seats, and brand-new vinyl graphics.
Cons:
It’s heavy and that may add to shipping costs.
What owners say:"I cannot say enough good things about our new Bunch Bikes! The kids love this thing y'all - it's so much fun to ride ♥️ It's a game-changer to have that e-assist for the hills 👍” Read more
3. The School Bus by Virtue Cycles, starting at $2,149 This made-in-San Diego cargo bike lets kids sit in a big cargo box and go for a ride. The Virtue Schoolbus put parents at ease with the front. It also allows them to have good quality time chatting without having to keep looking back.
Kids: 1-3 in box, + possible rear seat add-on
Electric Assist: Yes
Pros:
Stability of three wheels
Being able to see the kids
Only an extra $800 to have the battery, motor, and control system added to the standard Schoolbus
Cons:
Steering is different than many other cargo bikes
It’s heavy and that may add to the shipping cost
What owners say: “There's a lot to recommend about the Schoolbus. I wanted to see the kids while I was riding. I can pull over if my toddler drops something, I never have to worry if a car is getting too close to the trailer - I know right where everyone is.” Read more
What the pros say: “Designed to be stable for loading his kids, positioning them out front where you could keep an eye on them and have conversations during rides. “ Read more
4. Family, by Nihola, starting at $4,799 For 18-years, this Danish company has developed, produced, sold these proprietary tricycles for families, as well as for rehab/handicap-, institutional- and commercial use. There are over 10,000 Nihola bikes in Copenhagen alone, so this bike is tried and tested.
Kids: 1-3 in box, + possible rear seat add-on
Electric assist: yes
Pros:
The solid frame design built to withstand impact
The front door opens for easily onboarding kids and pets
The Nihola Flex version can transport a wheelchair
Cons:
Few US distributors may increase the delivery cost
What owners say: “Nihola Electric Family Cargo Bike is an excellent bike for leisurely strolls around town when you are not in a rush. It’s very handy for transporting heavy goods and also more than one child on the bike.” Read more
What the Pros Say: “The Nihola is a better value and lower cost, it’s really the best three-wheel solution available.” Read more
5. Butchers & Bicycles MK-1E, Starting at $5,999 If Apple designed an electric bicycle, it would be the MK-1E. From beautiful design to performance and state-of-the-art utility (a tricycle the leans), the MK-1E has taken the biking world by storm since it launched in 2015.
Kids: 1-3 in box, + possible rear seat add-on
Electric assist: yes
Pros:
Tilt steering makes it really fun to ride
Beautiful design attracts attention
Attention to details, like a lockable glove box
Cons:
One of the most expensive e cargo bikes on the market
It’s wide, so can be difficult to maneuver on narrow city streets
What owners say: “When I saw the Butcher, I was blown away. It was fast. It was sexy. It hauled a ton of cargo. It handled like a two-wheeler. It was the coolest cargo bike I had ever seen.” Read more
What the pros say: “Unlike any other trike I’ve ridden, this tilting machine is beautiful to ride. It’s as fun to ride as a two-wheeled bike, providing—and in fact encouraging—the full-body experience of steering through the hips and leaning into the turns.” Read more
From DC to Nashville, Chicago and Portland, there are Facebook Family Biking Groups that share local tips, trails as well as buy and sell used gear. Search for “Family Biking” on Facebook under “Groups.”
In bigger biking communities, like San Francisco and Seattle, there are also “Family Bike Swap” Facebook Groups focused exclusively on selling gear online and at swap events.
Our Favorite Electric Bikes
We've also done the research on the best electric bikes for families, and you can get all the details by clicking here!
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There’s nothing that motivates a little one for a walk around the neighborhood like a scooter. We’ve scouted out all the best three-wheeled scooters for little ones, scooters that convert to a tricycle and even electric scooters for when you want to up the power. Which one will be your family’s favorite?
Best Scooter That Ages Well: Razor A Scooter
Razor was the first to market in 2000 (maybe you even had one back in the day) and they've managed to stay a step (or a scoot ahead) of the competition throughout the years. Why? The scooter is aluminum, which makes it lightweight, yet durable. Handlebars can be adjusted easily, and while there's no assembly required when you open the box, the scooter does fold down for quick and easy carry and storage.
For Blues Clues Fans: Blues Clues Swinging Blue Scooter
We love this too-cute scooter that comes with three wheels for extra stability. As the child leans in each direction, the scooter and Blue lean with the rider making the scooter a fun and interactive toy for children ages 3-7 years old.
Best Scooter for Toddlers and Beginners: Micro Kickboard Original
Erin Lem
For those first learning to balance and ride on wheels, we suggest the original Micro Kickboard (tried and tested by our Editorial Director's toddler son who picked it up after just a handful of outings). We were impressed with the scooter's engineering: it's stable and easy to balance on without feeling flimsy, simple to steer and tough as nails (or as Mico Kickboard says, they're "virtually indestructible" and we'd have to agree). The design and quality of the scooter mean it'll still be in great condition year after year, which is the type of product we love investing in.
Best Convertible Scooter: Swagtron 4-In-1 Scooter & Trike
Swagtron
It's a scooter! It's a bike! It's . . . both! Swagtron's K6 4-in-1 scooter has a simple-to-use modular design capable of switching between two- and three-wheeled versions of both a balance bike and stand-up kick scooter. It's perfect for growing with kids as their balance and skills increase. With the simple click of a button, the seat of the balance bike rotates to become the deck of a stand-up scooter. Use two rear wheels in either mode for greater stability or swap out for a single wheel. The single wheel features a heel brake for use in scooter mode, just like the big kids.
We love this two-wheeled option from Globber as it is easy to bring along to adventures. The handlebars easily fold down to pack in the trunk and they also extend to four different heights to grow with your child.
The Amazon reviews speak for themselves but the key element to this scooter is the big air-filled tires which provide some natural suspension to ride over multiple terrain options. The scooter also comes standard with hand brakes which are an added convenience not typically seen on standard kick scooters.
Kids ages 9 and up will love the sleek styling of this upgraded scooter that doesn't have any little kid vibes at all. You can fold it in half for easy transportation and the kickstand helps it stay upright when you need a break. We especially appreciated the suspension system when going over bumps on the sidewalk.
When SVOLTA designed their scooters, they essentially made scooters they (adults) wanted to ride, but in kid sizes. They opted for premium materials, so the construction is solid and sturdy. The scooters ride smoothly and have a variety of added style details like matte satin finishes, champagne gold accents and lightning bolt patterns. They've got different scooters for little ones (the 2-in-1 sit and stand convertible), toddlers (3-wheel kick scooter) and bigger kids (2-wheel kick scooter) so you'll be able to find something that works for you.
Tired of having to upgrade your kid's scooter as they grow? The ULTIMUM scooter from Globber solves this problem. Designed to be used from age 5 all the way up to adults, the scooter has a 6-height adjustable T-bar and adjustable steering angle control system. The extra-wide scooter deck supports up to 220 lbs. and comes with an anti-slip deck design. You'll love that the scooter folds down for easy carrying.
Lots of kids are getting into this two-footed style that moves when they wiggle. This one was the first on the market and we love its ability to drift and have a controlled ride.
Your kids will love zipping around in this fun electric scooter with rainbow lights. You can feel good knowing that the speed is controllable by you. It folds up for easy transport and storage, and you can adjust the handlebar height as your kid grows.
Best Powered Scooter: Segway Ninebot eKickScooter ZING E8
Segway
If you are looking to add a little power to your scooter, check out this option from Segway. The Ninebot eKickScooter ZING E8 has a max speed of 8 mph with 4 hours of charge time. There's a hand-operated brake plus a foot brake for easy stopping. It also comes in 10 mph and 12 mph models.
From our friends over at Radio Flyer comes this new eScooter on the block. With a top speed of 16mph and a 15.5 mile range, you can cruise to the grocery store and back. Designed for adults, the Flyer is available in gray, white and red. It even folds down for easy portability.
Best Powered Scooter for Tweens/Adults: Segway Ninebot KickScooter ES1L
Segway
You'll love the smooth ride from this Segway scooter that has won design awards and is a favorite of tweens, teens and grown ups. Whether you use it to commute or just to tool around the neighborhood, you'll love the front electronic, and rear foot brakes to keep you safe. Headlights make you stand out when the sun goes down and the max speed of 12.4 mph gets you where you need to go.
2022 as the ideal time to refresh and regroup. If your home is in need of some TLC, it’s time to stock up on simple organizing supplies that will make the new year great. From bulletin boards to utility carts, and label makers to school folders, this list has something for everyone.
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Mind Reader Supreme Snack Organizer
Offer your favorite students yummy treats and snacks with this carousel organizer that rotates a full 360-degree for easy access. Twelve slots on the top row are ideal for granola bars, nut packs and other small items while the bottom row is open for larger items like chip bags and maybe even some fresh fruit.
When your student is doing homework or studying at home, keep her comfy with this lap desk. While the flat surface is perfect for writing assignments, this lap desk can still accommodate laptops up to 15.6,” and a built-in lip prevents it from sliding. The built-in cellphone holder keeps her phones upright and viewable, and the cushioned bottom conforms to her lap for extra stability.
Made from durable oxford fabric, this pencil case can go through some things and remain in tip-top shape. Generously sized, this pencil case can hold up to 50-60 pens and pencils, and it’s even large enough to hold a graphing calculator for your older students. A detachable velcro organizer and mesh and velcro pockets also keep things neat and tidy. Kids can use case as an all in one organizer to store everything from pens, pencils, erasers, and other small items as well as headphones, charging cords and other small items.
Everyone has their weekly schedule on their devices, but how often do they check in with each other? To make things go smoothly and keep everyone in the loop, try this magnetic calendar. There’s plenty of space to record weekly activities, assignments and chores, and the note section is large enough to accommodate the ever-growing, ever-popular, shopping list. A super-strong magnet ensures that this calendar stays put, and the durable surface wipes clean with no ink-ghosting. Helpful hint: use a different colored marker for each member of the family!
A dry-erase bulletin board is a must-have for every busy family. Park it by a prime traffic area in your home, and you’ll see what we mean. Use this board for a helping hand to keep everyone informed and on-task. Leave notes for the family on the way out the door, reminders for assignments due, or have a spot to demonstrate adding fractions (should the need arise).
For a companion to your dry erase board, try this set of dry erase markers. Packed with all the essentials, it has everything you need to maintain some order and organization including, four markers, an eraser, and a whiteboard cleaner spray.
When the new year starts, there’s no doubt that there will be plenty of paperwork coming home too. Keep it organized with this set of punchy colored school folders. Made from durable PVC, these envelopes are almost guaranteed to make it through the school year intact, and they’re transparent so you and the kids can tell what’s inside. And to help you out, each one has a clear pocket for labeling. These folders are letter sized, sold in packs of 10 and if you or the kids don’t care for bright colors, there are clear envelopes available as well.
There are a million ways to use post-it notes, and really, the possibilities are endless. So when the new school year rolls around, use them for to-do lists, quick reminders, getting organized, and maybe even a sweet lunchbox note (or 10—no judgment). This collection of post-it notes includes 15 pads in assorted sizes and colors.
2022 Planner - Academic Weekly & Monthly Planner with Tabs
Keep your child organized and teach her the essentials of time management with this cute academic planner. This planner runs from July 2020 through June 2021 (with 12 monthly tabs), so she’s covered for the whole school year. A durable cover and thick pages will keep the organizer intact, and she can choose from assorted sizes and colors.
Keep pens, pencils, art supplies, and other small items in one spot with this bright and cheery wooden pen holder by Gamenote. This pen holder comes fully assembled, and six compartments keep your supplies organized and easily accessible
Give your little ones a place to stash their supplies when it’s time to clean up with these hanging storage bags. These organizers can be hung on any wall or door, and they fold up compactly for storage when not in use. Sold as a three-piece set, each one has three large pockets to stow pretty much anything.
Umbra’s buddy wall hooks offer a unique and fun way to keep the kids’ stuff organized, accessible, and off the floor. Each pack comes with three ‘buddies’ that climb the walls in various positions, and each buddy can hold up to five pounds. Use buddy’s arms, legs, and head to hang coats, scarves, backpacks, and more.
Water bottles are totally necessary, but they tend to create a lot of clutter in pantries and cupboards. Reign it all in with these stackable water bottle organizers. Sold in packs of four, these racks can hold three bottles each, storing them horizontally for easy access and a quick grab. Use it to organize reusable bottles, sports, and soft drinks. These racks are BPA-free and shatter-resistant, and in case of spills, just clean them with mild soap and water.
While junk drawers are a great catch-all for all small items, rifling through them to find the things you need can be a pain. Sort it out and get it organized with these plastic drawer storage organizers. Sold in a pack of 36, there's enough for every type of "junk" and for multiple drawers, too. Mix, match and assemble them any way you like, and if they get dirty, just wash with soap and water.
Nothing says “organized” like a label maker, and Dymo’s label maker might be one of the best organizational tools ever. Use it to make labels for kids' school supplies, folders, and even pantry shelves and food items so everyone knows where to find the good stuff. With five font sizes, seven print styles, eight box styles, and 1- or 2-line printing, the possibilities are endless.
SimpleHouseware Heavy-Duty 3-Tier Metal Utility Rolling Cart
Use this three-tier utility cart to maximizes your storage space and get organized. Store extra pens, glue, notepads and paper, and maybe save the top tier for quick grab-and-go after school snacks. This utility cart is on wheels, so set it up where you want and move it whenever you need to.
Use this washi tape set to liven up and personalize boring folders and papers. Kids can skip the scissors and tear it by hand and reposition whenever they want without ripping the paper. Plus, there’s no waxy coating, so they make great labels for kids because they can write on it and make it even more fun. Each roll is 15 feet long, so there’s plenty to go around.
The biggest difference between school supplies 30 years ago and school supplies today is probably the number of cables kids have to manage. From cell phone chargers to laptop chargers, and myriad USB cables, cords are everywhere. Use these magnetic cable ties to cut down on the chaos and tidy things up. What’s more, these handy little helpers are magnetic, so they have plenty of uses around the house. Use them to tie off bags, hang notes on the fridge, and even to keep your keys in a safe spot.
My life hasn’t been perfect. My life has been messy, but after I met my husband, I thought I would finally find love, stability, support, etc. There is a reason why most people are cautiously quiet in the times leading up to and during a divorce. We fear being judged for leaving a union that we asked everyone to celebrate after saying vows that prompt us that NOTHING should separate us.
The decision to file for divorce saddened me. I had waited a long time for marriage, and, to me, it was forever. I had already weathered many, many storms and had come from a long line of successful and long-lasting marriages. “If they can do it, so can I!” I used to say.
But marriage is teamwork on every level. Imagine playing doubles tennis, and your partner puts down his racket, sits down, and ignores you. You keep prompting them to get up and they continue to ignore you. You might try to make it work for a while, but then the tired sets in, the anger sets in, and then the realization that you weren’t ever supposed to be in this alone. At the time of my decision, I was sad. I was disgusted. I was ashamed. I was overwhelmed. I was resolute. I was scared.
How does someone get to the point of deciding that divorce is the answer? I think the answer to that question is different for each person, however, there are stories that are similar. It’s been over a year since I made the choice, and I can be honest about everything now. I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive marriage. From the moment we met, up to about a month after we were married, he was wonderful to me. He never raised his voice. He never sounded angry with me. He was attentive. He made me feel loved, wanted, and important in his life.
After that month was over, we entered a cycle of arguing that never went away. There were never any calm or rational conversations. He would “jokingly” accuse me of cheating. He would say horrible things about my children behind closed doors. He refused to take part in any sort of financial responsibility. He would scream at me with the kind of hatred that should be reserved for a select few. He refused to be social. He refused to allow me to be social unless he felt as if there was nothing to fear. For instance, going to a bar with a girlfriend was off limits but going to a parent discussion group was fine. He withheld intimacy at certain points throughout our marriage. He kept secrets. He was attentive to what suited his mood.
I was both embarrassed and ashamed. I kept the gory details of our marriage to myself. I had a handful of friends that I spoke to about different aspects of my marriage, but I never fully let on to everything that was happening. I kept thinking that I could fix it. There were times when I thought that things would change, only to be disappointed yet again.
The decision to move forward with the divorce opened my eyes in ways that they had not been before. I was able to see my marriage for what it was. There was no shine left at all. The lies that he told were all coming to light. The things he was saying to my family behind my back were coming to light. The way he was alienating me from friends and family was coming to light. It’s hard to think about something being both overwhelming and a relief, but this time was just that.
Our divorce was final on August 6, 2020. He didn’t fight for anything. He didn’t fight for me. He didn’t fight for anything in the house. He simply walked away. Oh, there were a handful of moments in those couple of months where he found some tears to display, but I was long past the display of tears having any effect on me anymore. As with everything else in our marriage, I paid for the divorce too. Here’s to fresh starts, new and exciting experiences, and a much less stressful life!
I am a single mom of three beautiful daughters ages 29, 20, and 15. At 50, I am recently divorced and making a career change. I'm trying to put my BA and my MA to use finally! My life hasn't always been easy but I feel good about the future!
If you’ve birthed a baby past age 35, you’ve undoubtedly heard the super-flattering phrase “advanced maternal age.” (Don’t even get us started on the “geriatric pregnancy” label.) While these terms may not give you the warm fuzzies, we’re here to share the good stuff about taking on parenthood later on. Sure, it may come with a few extra fine lines here and there, but it has compelling benefits too. Read on to find out why being an older mom is the bomb.
iStock
1. You make the most of the moments. If you have more than a few years of adulthood under your belt, you’ve undoubtedly experienced the feeling of time passing more quickly. While the moments speeding by in a blur can be vexing, it also creates an acute appreciation of the preciousness of each moment. As an older mom, you tend to slow down and take it all in—to breathe in the baby smell, long and deep, to soak in those sweet smiles and linger over the crib long after baby’s fast asleep.
2. You take a relaxed approach. The awareness of time has another effect as an older mom: recognizing that milestones don’t need to be met in a rush. As an older mom, you will likely be more comfortable easing up on expectations. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and weaning a baby off of a bottle or potty training doesn’t have to happen overnight either.
3. Confidence comes more naturally. While having a baby in your later years may mean you do it with a few gray hairs, it also comes with an extra dose of mom-fidence. You’ve released that inevitable, youthful striving after an ever-elusive image of perfection and learned to be comfortable in your own skin. You pass on the hot-button topics (breast or bottle? Co-sleeping or not?) and settle into a routine that works for you and your baby—no explanation or apology needed.
Christy Blevins
4. You have to buy less baby stuff. If you jump on the baby train a few years after your friends and family, you may just experience a flood of hand-me-down baby clothes and gear. Many parents pack away totes of tiny jammies and stash bigger items, like a crib, stroller and highchair, away in the attic in case of a “surprise” baby scenario, but after a few years, they may be ready and willing to hand over the goods and regain their storage space. Brand new baby and a bigger wallet, what’s not to love?
5. You can skip the maternity section. That nugget about friends and family members setting aside tiny jammies just in case? Same goes for stretchy-topped jeans and nursing tops. Besides the obvious savings, shopping for maternity clothes in a friend’s closet is way more fun than hitting up your local store anyway.
6. You don’t sweat the small stuff. A blow-out as you’re walking out the door may set you back a few minutes, but it won’t throw your whole day out of whack. With age comes a honed ability to put things in their proper perspective. As an older mom, you may find you’re able to keep your cool when facing the everyday frustrations of life with a baby (think: nap strikes and messy meals). As you take things in stride, you and your mini-me will benefit from this more chilled-out parenting approach.
iStock
7. You’ve been around the block, and now you can show baby the way. Being an older mom often means you’ve had the time and opportunity to explore different paths—from career choices to hobbies—and have developed your personal interests and strengths. Those added experiences will inevitably inform your motherhood and allow you to pass on that wisdom to your child's benefit. Say hello to baby Einstein!
8. You’ve been there, done that. Having experienced a few years of adult life before baby’s arrival may help you freely focus on your baby without regret. Once you’ve checked the box next to some life goals—from career mile markers to travel aspirations—you’ll be better able to settle into the routine elements of motherhood without the FOMO that may have struck in your youth. In the same vein, if you’ve spent more than a few years with your partner during that time, your relationship will have had time to deepen and mature before baby makes three. A win-win!
9. Fewer stresses from finances. While this doesn’t apply across the board, studies show that women who enter motherhood later on often benefit from more financial stability than their younger counterparts. This is often the result of older moms having had the chance to spend additional years developing their careers and building up a comfortable savings. This extra cushion can allow you to take more time off from work, hire help or even embrace experiences, like international travel, that may have been out of reach in your younger years.
10. Gleaning from seasoned moms is a breeze. When you’re a young mom, getting advice from moms in your peer group can be tough, as everyone is navigating new waters. But when you experience motherhood for the first time a bit later in life, calling your crew to get the low-down on anything from sleep training to the best baby sunscreen will easily yield tried-and-true advice.
Carrying and birthing life into this world is a miracle. Our bodies go through so many beautiful changes in order for this to happen. Yet there is a cultural expectation for moms to erase signs of pregnancy immediately after giving birth. We are made to feel ashamed of our protruding belly, loose skin, stretch marks, and sagging breasts. We feel the pressure to immediately get our pre-pregnancy body back! When I’m asked how I was able to do it I simply respond, “I didn’t and I’m not mad about it!”
After carrying and birthing four babies, I have learned to celebrate and love my body unconditionally. I’ll be honest though, it took almost four pregnancies before I got to this place of self love. I finally started nourishing and moving my body from a place of love and adoration, which helped me to start enjoying my postpartum fitness journey. I changed my focus from achieving a certain weight, size, or shape to giving my body what it needed to thrive! It was this mindset shift that led to improved health, increased energy and confidence.
Here are 7 things I did that helped me develop a healthy and enjoyable lifestyle:
1. I took time to rest and recover. I took time to bond and enjoy my baby, while my body healed. I had a C-section with each of my pregnancies, so I was never in a rush to start exercising. Once I reached the 8 week postpartum mark, I started walking a few days a week. I started slowly, really listening to my body and only doing what it allowed.
2. I focused on actionable goals rather than outcome goals. This means I figured out what actions I needed to take to reach my larger, long term goal. My short term goals, starting out, were to drink plenty of water daily, eat protein at every meal and snack, and to get in three, 25 minute workouts each week. By focusing on actionable goals, I felt more in control of my journey because I was in control of my actions. It also made the journey fun because it kept me from focusing on how far away I was from my pre-pregnancy size, and brought me to the present! My focus became about conquering each goal for the day, and that was doable! This also kept me focused on sustainable and healthy methods to lose the baby weight, rather than turning to quick fixes, jeopardizing my overall health to temporarily move the scale.
3. I built a strong foundation. After a few weeks of just walking, I eased into workouts, really focusing on building stability in my core and joints. I learned the importance of this the hard way! After my third pregnancy, I made the mistake of skipping over this step and I ended up with a back injury as a result. I spent several months in physical therapy, to reverse the injury and build stability in my core. The hormonal changes and changes from pregnancy and delivery can cause joint dysfunction, especially around the pelvis, and weakness of the pelvic floor. That, combined with the separation of the abdominal muscles to allow for a growing belly, are a recipe for injury. This is why after Baylor was born, I made strengthening my core a priority. When people think core, they often think sit-ups are the best way to target it. Instead, it’s important to focus on strengthening the deepest abdominal layer, the pelvic floor, and hip stabilizing muscles.
4. I ate more protein. By increasing my protein intake, I was able to boost my metabolism significantly, helping to burn calories and fat throughout the day. It also helped to curb my hunger by balancing out weight-regulating hormones. I increased my protein intake by eating protein at every meal and snack, making sure to eat at least every 3-4 hours throughout the day. My go-to lean protein sources were grilled chicken, grass fed ground beef, beans and legumes, eggs, salmon and tuna.
5. I cut back on processed food. I tried to eat mostly whole, natural foods while limiting my intake of foods from a package. However, it was busy with four kids under six years old and I was breastfeeding a brand new baby. I definitely wasn’t prepping all my foods from scratch. To make the best choices I could, I made sure to read the ingredients list on the food labels. I would try to choose options with ingredients I could pronounce or understand, avoiding the big and unrecognizable ingredients that are more heavily processed and chemically altered.
6. I drank a lot of water. Since I was breastfeeding Baylor, I knew I needed to drink plenty of water to keep my milk supply up. I also wanted to make sure that I was getting enough water to support my recovery from workouts, energy levels, digestion, and skin. These areas tend to suffer when I’m not getting enough. I carried around a 32 oz water bottle and refilled it several times throughout the day.
7. I showed up consistently. At the beginning of each week I took time to schedule my workouts like I would a meeting. I blocked that time off for myself. If something came up, I always made sure to reschedule my workout for another day or time. It wasn’t about being perfect in my fitness routine or diet, because I never was. There were also times I had to cut my workouts short to tend to a crying baby or needy toddler. What was important was that I kept showing up! It was the consistency that led to change.
I encourage you to celebrate and love your body for all it has done! You will be surprised at how far a little self love can take you. While you may not look or feel the way you did before having babies, I can promise you this. You are beautiful!
Ashley and Jocelyn have experienced it all being a working mom, stay-at-home mom, pregnancy fitness, postpartum fitness, fad diets, nutrition struggles, etc. Both are NASM certified personal trainers, certified nutrition coaches, and hold a B.S. in Health/Fitness management. They help women step into their power and become who they are meant to be, inside + out!
For newly divorced moms and dads, moving to a new home can be another stressful layer to an already stressful situation.
Among kids, an unwanted move can result in feelings of sadness, anger, and resentment. Losing the home they know and love comes as a blow as another part of their lives spins out of control.
Here are a few tips to help kids transition to a new home after divorce:
1. Address any emotions your children may have about the move.
Moving homes brings about complex emotions children may not understand, even if they know what divorce is. You may believe acting happy and convincing them nothing is wrong is best. However, this behavior teaches children to avoid emotions and can result in long-term problems. Instead, address the feelings your children may be experiencing head-on. Start a conversation, then listen. Kristin Davin, Psy.D., a therapist from New York City, says, “It’s critical parents provide emotional space for their children to express how they’re doing so they not only feel safe but also understood.”
Having children read age-appropriate books about moving and handling change and calling on a therapist or child psychologist can help.
2. Make moving day as low-stress as possible.
Moving day won’t come without stress. That said, as a parent, you set the tone. “Children take their cues from their parents, so a parent’s ability to manage stress is key,” says Davin. If you’re pessimistic, your children will notice. They may then have trouble adjusting. Davin suggests parents talk with their kids beforehand. “The day doesn’t have to be stress-free. But talking to children before a big move about what would help them feel less stressed is wise. You want children to feel they’re part of the process and recognize you’re all in it together and still a family.”
Other ways to decrease stress on moving day include making sure you and your children are well-rested and well-fed. Also, keep a box of your children’s favorite possessions nearby and all in one place, so they’re readily available for the first night in their new environment.
Consider sending your children to their grandparents’ house or with another relative or friend for moving day and maybe a few days after it. With the kids away from the chaos, you’ll be better able to prepare your home for a peaceful transition.
3. Let your children decorate their room.
Your children should feel like the new house is their home, too. That’s especially true of their bedroom. Denise Allen, a Washington State-based organizational expert and the owner of Simplify Experts, recommends parents give children input in setting up their new space. “Allow them to feel like they have some ownership of the space and that it doesn’t just feel like a guest room.”
By letting kids decorate, it’ll feel like their personal space sooner. They’ll grow attached more quickly because they’ll feel personally invested. They may likewise gain a sense of control over their environment where it might’ve been lacking before. Not to mention, Allen says, “Parents will have more buy-in for the maintenance of the space if kids are proud of it.” Allen suggests parents be mindful of the activities that will take place in that area. Parents should consider whether kids will be studying in their room and if the setup plays well into their learning style. For example, is the lighting adequate for doing homework?
4. Establish a routine for your children.
Changing homes threatens stability, making it critical for parents to establish a routine as soon as possible for their children, even if it’s a new one. Kids want to know what’s around the bend. “Starting them off with a bit less stress will help them feel good and empowered,” says Davin.
A routine preoccupies children. It prevents them from fixating on unsettling events, keeping them grounded in the present and looking to the future. Dinner is at six o’clock, bedtime at eight. It also puts transitions into bite-sized pieces, which kids can manage. As they see that what you predict happens, they’ll worry less another change will come out of nowhere.
5. Keep the new space orderly.
Related to creating a routine for your family, especially children, is keeping your new space in order. Allen says, “A calm living environment offers a great sense of control and a place for the brain to relax.”
Moving also provides an excellent and often welcome opportunity to purge possessions that have been weighing you down. Children, even younger ones, can benefit from a purge and reorganization of their toys, games, and books. With clutter gone, kids can focus on the items that make them happy. Plus, they have room to put their stamp on the new space, making it their own.
As for moving forward, Allen says maintenance is critical. “Simple organizational systems are key, and the more visual they are, the better.”
6. Give kids time and space to adjust to their new home.
Divorced parents may want their children to immediately accept the new home, seeing it as a sign they’re coming to terms with the divorce. But just as you need to get used to your situation, your kids will, too. Davin says, “Thinking they should adjust in a certain way by a certain time puts pressure on children and can make them feel like something is wrong with them.” Instead, she recommends parents do check-ins and ask their kids what they need and how they’re doing while still giving them time and privacy to figure things out.
But more than anything, Davin says, “Let your kids know you’re around for them whenever they need you. It’s the people who live in a house, not the house itself, that make a home.”
Elise Buie, Esq. is a Seattle-based family and divorce lawyer and founder of Elise Buie Family Law Group. A champion for maintaining civility throughout the divorce process, Elise advocates for her clients and the best interests of their children, helping them move forward with dignity and strength.
