The day my daughter died was the darkest day of my life. There is nothing that can prepare you for waddling into an ultrasound, eight months pregnant, and having a doctor look into your terrified eyes as he says, “I’m sorry, but there’s no heartbeat.”

As the ground fell out from underneath me, a fog filled my brain that wouldn’t leave for months. Big, heavy tears clouded my vision as I survived the next 36 hours—long hours as I waited for my husband to fly home, as I labored through the birth I had dreamed of my whole life (this was nothing like I had dreamed of), as I held my beautiful, perfect, 6 lb 9 oz daughter Layla. Every time I blinked, dreams rolled down my face, soaking my shirt like the milk that would come in days later, my body unaware that there was no baby to feed.

As I was wheeled out of the hospital in the darkness of night, clutching a pillow, I felt certain I would never, ever feel the sunshine on my face again. How could I? The last package I received in the mail was art for my daughter’s nursery, You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine. My bones felt as cold as my belly did empty. My husband tucked me into bed where I’d stay for a week that followed, unable to speak a word to anyone.

But we lived in Southern California—even in November, you can only hide from the sun for so long. After a week, we took our first walk. I pulled my hooded sweatshirt over my head, blocking the world from my peripheral vision, as I focused on the two-block walk to the beach. We walked straight to the shoreline and set three paper cranes that we had folded at her baby shower out to sea. Wishes from loved ones, never to be read. The sun burned like lightning on the back of my sweatshirt as I retreated for safety.

It was in the months that followed that I learned of the term rainbow baby—a name given to a baby born shortly after the loss of a previous baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or death in infancy. This term is used because a rainbow typically follows a storm, giving us hope for what’s to come.

My baby was not a storm. But the days and weeks and months that followed losing her were. And like a storm, my grief swirled and changed every day, starting as a constant downpour and eventually slowing to a drizzle. Until, one day, a small stream of light.

Pregnancy after loss is terrifying. It is living face to face with your worst fear and knowing that there is nothing you can do to change the outcome. You survive every day by focusing on that small stream of light, even as the clouds try and overwhelm you, threatening rain just around the corner.

photo of woman after birth in hospital bed

Photo: Laura Malcolm

And then one day, one year and six days after the rain started, the clouds parted and let the sun beamed in. I held my newborn son and felt the warmth my body had missed. I squinted into the sun as I was wheeled out of the same hospital doors, in the brightness of day, and the world had never looked so colorful. So full of hope.

My rainbow baby.

I now have two little boys who fill my life with more color (and noise) than I could have ever imagined. We talk about their sister and celebrate her life and yes, throw rainbow-themed birthday parties because they brought the sun to shine right along with the rain—and without both of those, there wouldn’t be rainbows.

This post was written by Laura Malcolm and originally appeared on Give InKind.

Give InKind is an intelligent social support platform that helps friends and family coordinate tangible, financial, and emotional support for those who need it. Our custom Care Calendar + Wishlist + Fundraising in one free tool is making support simple. From new babies to cancer support, Give InKind.

Miscarriage is quite common, yet regardless of that simple truth, it remains a challenging and emotionally complex experience for women to navigate. It is often something women deal with privately with their partner, but fortunately some women in the public spotlight have begun to share their experiences more openly.

Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, recently opened up about her miscarriage last summer, paving the way for women everywhere to connect and feel less alone. She and Prince Harry also announced that they are expecting another child (a baby girl)—a great reminder that pregnancy is very possible after miscarriage.

Whether you are dealing with loss due to a miscarriage yourself, acting as a support person to someone who has experienced this loss, or simply wanting to educate yourself about this all-too-common occurrence, here is a Q&A to help you through this process.

Miscarriage: 7 Questions and Answers

1. What is a miscarriage? Miscarriage is defined as a pregnancy loss prior to 20 weeks. If the pregnancy lasts beyond 20 weeks but is unsuccessful, it is termed stillbirth.

2. Am I to blame for my baby’s death? Miscarriage is traumatic for all pregnant women and their partners. If you have had, are having, or will have a miscarriage, remember this: Miscarriage is NOT your fault.

Inherent in miscarriage is the experience of death, and often feelings of failure as well. This death is very real, and it is normal for women and partners to experience the five stages of grieving and guilt (described in Elizabeth Keebler Ross’s landmark research in “On Death and Dying”):

  • Denial (It didn’t happen.)
  • Anger (Why is this happening to me?)
  • Bargaining (Oh, please God, I’ll do anything to have a successful pregnancy.)
  • Depression (I must have done something wrong.)
  • Acceptance (I have to get on with life one way or another.)

Allowing yourself and your partner to go through this grieving process is the most important part of a miscarriage.

3. How soon can I get pregnant again after a miscarriage? I always suggest waiting for at least one regular period before getting pregnant again. It can then be determined with more accuracy when you are due. In addition, having a normal period signals your body is done with the miscarriage process.

4. Who is likely to miscarry? Anyone can miscarry. The most often quoted numbers say 10-to-20 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. When the miscarriage rate includes those fetuses lost before the missing of a period, the high-end rate increases up to 40 percent.

5. How do I tell a period from a miscarriage? There is cramping with miscarriage, often like a period, but sometimes more severe. Most of the time, bleeding will be heavier than a period, but seldom requiring a blood transfusion. 

6. What if my doctor can’t hear a heartbeat? With a Doppler, I can hear a heartbeat at about 11 or 12 weeks. It is easier to see the heartbeat with an ultrasound at seven to eight weeks. If I can’t see the heartbeat at seven or eight weeks, out of reverence and concern for the fetus, I recheck in one week. If I can’t hear a heartbeat, most women prefer to wait for a spontaneous miscarriage which usually follows after one or two weeks. If one or two weeks go by without a miscarriage, I recommended misoprostol (Cytotec) by mouth.

While it is possible to use misoprostol without waiting the two weeks for a spontaneous miscarriage, it would not be my first choice because aggressive treatment can interfere with the grieving process. I prefer to allow a wide margin around guilt, blame, and shame.

7. What happens when someone has repeated miscarriages? Miscarriage, before there is a beating heart, is common, and is usually a chromosomal mutation. These are not preventable. However, once the heart is beating, several conditions can lead to a miscarriage. Many of these repeated miscarriages are preventable. If you have had more than two miscarriages, it’s time to look at the list of treatable conditions that are known to contribute to miscarriage in some women (i.e., Strep B or methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase—MTFHR).

The keys here are remembering that you are not alone in experiencing miscarriage, and that is normal and healthy to grieve your loss. In cases where repeated miscarriage occurs, your doctor may be able to help you isolate the condition that is causing it so you can go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

Dr. Alan Lindemann
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released a Food Safety Alert for ready-made hard-boiled eggs due to Listeria monocytogenes contamination. Following the initial alert, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued an expansion of the recall to include additional products manufactured by Almark Foods at the company’s Gainesville, Georgia facility.

According to the CDC stats, the outbreak initially caused seven cases of Listeria in five states. According to the FDA’s website, “A more recent FDA sample from the facility also matched the outbreak strain, suggesting the possibility that the strain may have remained present in the facility.”

The eggs, produced by Almark Foods of Gainesville, Georgia were packaged in plastic pails for use by food service operators. The eggs were sold to retailers, and not directly to consumers. This means consumers may not know if the eggs in products they’ve purchased are contaminated. Given the new information from the FDA, Almark voluntarily expanded the recall to include all hard-boiled egg products packaged for retail made by the Gainesville plant.

The current recall includes all eggs with “Best If Used By” dates through Mar. 2, 2020. The product used by dates have a “G” prefix, indicating that the eggs were packaged in the Gainesville, Georgia facility. For a full list of recalled products, visit the FDA’s website here. The FDA has also issued additional recall alerts for retailers, such as Trader Joe’s, for products that may contain the affected eggs.

Listeria can cause fever and flu-like symptoms in pregnant women. The bacteria can also lead to miscarriage, stillbirth, premature delivery or a potentially life-threatening infection in newborns. It can also cause headache, stiff neck, loss of balance, convulsions, fever, muscle aches or confusion in otherwise healthy children and adults. Symptoms often appear within one to four weeks after eating the contaminated food. This infection is treatable with antibiotics—making it important to contact your medical provider immediately.

The CDC had advised retailers and food service operators to stop using the peeled, hard-boiled eggs and wash/sanitize surfaces that may have come into contact with the eggs. If you have concerns about where a product’s hard-boiled eggs came from, ask the retailer to verify they were not produced by Almark Foods. If the retailer doesn’t know, skip the egg-containing product entirely.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Mona Sabha Cabrera via Pexels

 

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Recall Alert: Mann Packing Co. Vegetables Recalled for Potential Listeria Contamination

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced a voluntary recall for select vegetable products produced by Mann Packing Co. due to a potential Listeria monocytogenes contamination concern. Representatives from Mann Packing Co. did not immediately return Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

If you have these products in your home, read on for important recall information.

Recalled Product Description: Vegetable Products

The current recall includes a number of different Mann Packaging Co. vegetable products sold under HEB, HEB Organic, Hungryroot, Kroger Organic, Compliments, Mann’s, US Foods, Mann’s Family Favorites, Mann’s Organic, Mann’s Snacking Favorites, Marketside, Marketside Organic, O Organics, Signature Farms, Sysco Imperial, Trader Joe’s and Del Monte brand names. For a full list of recalled products visit Mann’s website here.

Why the Vegetables Were Recalled

The recall was issued due to the possible presence of Listeria monocytogenes. According to the FDA, “To date, public health officials have not reported any illness associated with these products.”

Listeria monocytogenes can cause abdominal pain, diarrhea, headaches, high fever, nausea and stiffness. It can also cause miscarriage or stillbirth in pregnant women.

How to Tell If Your Vegetables Were Recalled

Consult the full list of recalled products here for applicable UPC Codes. All products have a “Best If Enjoyed By” date of Oct. 11, 2019 to Nov. 16, 2019.

What Consumers Can Do

Do not eat the recalled products. Throw the vegetables away and contact Mann Packing Co. at 1-844-927-0707  or email the company at consumers@mannpacking.com.

—Erica Loop

Photos: Mann Packing Co.

 

 

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Recall Alert: Apples Recalled Over Listeria Concern

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced a voluntary recall for 2,297 cases and two bulk bins of McIntosh, Honeycrisp, Jonathon, Fuji, Jonamac and Red Delicious apples sold under the Great Lakes and North Bay Produce Pure Michigan brands due to a potential Listeria monocytogenes concern. Some of the apples recalled were also sold in unbranded clear plastic totes, white paper totes and individually in retailer displays.

According to a press release from North Bay Produce, “The recalled apples were shipped between Oct. 16th, 2019 and Oct. 21st, 2019 from one North Bay facility to wholesalers, retailers and brokers in Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, North Carolina, Texas and Wisconsin.”

Recalled Product Description: North Bay Apples

The recalled products include McIntosh, Honeycrisp, Jonathon, Fuji, Jonamac and Red Delicious apples sold either in plastic bags with the brand names Great Lakes and North Bay Produce Pure Michigan or clear totes, white paper totes or individually under no brand name. The apples were shipped to wholesale and retail facilities in Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, North Carolina, Texas and Wisconsin between Oct. 16 and 21, 2019.

Why the Apples Were Recalled

The recall was initiated out of a Listeria monocytogenes contamination concern. Listeria monocytogenes can cause headaches, fever, nausea abdominal pain and diarrhea, with more severe effects in young children, elderly adults or anyone with a compromised immune system. The microorganism can also cause miscarriage or stillbirth in pregnant women.

As of now there are no reports of illnesses from the apples.

How To Tell If Your Apples Were Recalled

According to North Bay Produce’s press statement, “Apples purchased at retail prior to October 16th are not affected by this recall, and no other North Bay Produce products are affected by this recall.”

For a full list varieties, brands, UPC codes, PLU numbers and item numbers, visit the FDA’s website here.

What Consumers Can Do

If you have the recalled apples, don’t eat them. Throw the apples away or return them to the place of purchase. To contact North Bay Produce with questions call 1-231-929-4001, Monday-Friday, 8am––5pm ET or visit the company’s website at northbayproduce.com.

—Erica Loop

Photos: Courtesy of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration 

 

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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently updated a recall for some Pita Pal Foods hummus products. The products, which were sold at Trader Joe’s and other retail stores, were recalled due to potential Listeria monocytogenes contamination. Pita Pal Foods, LP did not immediately return Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

As of now the recall includes 87 types of hummus products, according to CNN. If you have the recalled hummus in your fridge, read on for important information.

Recalled Product Description: Pita Pal Hummus

The recall includes select hummus products made between May 30 and Jun. 25, 2019. The initial recall included products sold under the Buccee’s, Fresh Thyme, Harris Teeter and other brand names. Trader Joe’s recently announced its Colorado, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Germantown, Tennessee and Texas stores also carry the affected products.

For a full list of affected brands, flavors, sizes and UPC codes, visit the FDA’s website here.

Why the Hummus Was Recalled

The recall was initiated following detection of the bacteria Listeria monocytogenes at a manufacturing facility. The bacteria was not found in the finished products.

Listeria monocytogenes can cause diarrhea, stomach pain, high fever or headaches. It can also cause a serious infection in young children, elderly adults or anyone with a weakened immune system and miscarriage or stillbirth in pregnant women.

How To Tell If Your Hummus Was Recalled

Visit the FDA’s website here for a full list of recalled products. Check the brand name, product name, size and UPC code to see if your hummus is part of the recall. Trader Joe’s shoppers can check their products on the company’s website here.

What Consumers Can Do

Don’t eat the recalled hummus. Return the product to the place of purchase for a refund. Call 832-803-9295 or email Pita Pal at products@pitapal.com for more information.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Ajale via Pixabay

 

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Recall Alert: Listeria Risk Found in Packaged Vegetables Sold at Trader Joe’s, Food Lion & Other Retailers

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced a recall for Growers Express packaged fresh butternut squash, zucchini and butternut squash-based veggie bowls sold under the Green Giant Fresh, Growers Express, Signature Farms and Trader Joe’s brand names out of a Listeria monocytogenes contamination concern. Representatives from Growers Express did not immediately return Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

While there are no reported illnesses as of now, if you think you may have purchased the affected products, read on for more information on the recall.

Product Description: Growers Express Packaged Vegetables

The current recall includes the packaged varieties of butternut squash, cauliflower, zucchini and butternut squashed based veggie bowls sold under the Green Giant Fresh, Growers Express, Signature Farms and Trader Joe’s  names. The products were produced at a facility in Biddeford, Maine and were distributed to multiple states and retailers. Visit the FDA’s website for a complete list of products, states and retailers.

Why the Vegetables Were Recalled

The products were recalled out of a possible bacterial contamination concern. Listeria monocytogenes is an organism that can cause headaches, GI symptoms and stiffness. It can also lead to miscarriage or stillbirth in pregnant women.

Tom Byrne, President of Growers Express, said in a press release, “The safety of our consumers is our first priority.” Bryne also added, “We self-reported the need for this recall to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and stopped production immediately after being notified of a single positive sample by the Massachusetts Department of Health. We are deep sanitizing the entire facility and our line equipment, as well as conducting continued testing on top of our usual battery of sanitation and quality and safety tests before resuming production.”

How to Tell If Your Veggies Were Recalled

According to the FDA’s website, the majority of recalled veggies have a “Best If Used By” date of Jun. 26 through Jun. 29, 2019. Visit the FDA’s website here for a full list of products and UPC numbers.

What Parents Can Do

If you have the affected products, don’t eat or serve them. Throw the products away and visit the Growers Express website here for more information.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Courtesy of Growers Express

 

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The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recently announced an avocado recall in six states. The voluntary recall includes Henry Avocado Corporation California-grown avocados due to a potential Listeria monocytogenes contamination. Henry Avocado did not immediately respond to Red Tricycle’s request for comment.

The recent recall includes avocados distributed in Arizona, California, Florida, New Hampshire, North Carolina and Wisconsin. If you have concerns about the avocados in your home, read on for the recall details.

photos: Courtesy of U.S. Food and Drug Administration

Recall Product Description: Henry Avocados

The recall includes California-grown conventional and organic avocados, packed in Henry Avocado’s California packing facility. Conventional avocados, sold at retailers in the six affected states, bear a sticker that reads “Bravocado.” The recalled organic avocados bear a sticker that reads “organic” and “California.”

Why the Avocados Were Recalled

The bacteria Listeria monocytogenes was found on environmental samples of avocados during routine government inspection. As of now there are no illnesses due to the affected avocados.

Listeria monocytogenes can  cause headaches, stiffness, diarrhea, nausea and abdominal pain, with more serious symptoms in the elderly, young children or anyone with a compromised immune system. The bacteria is also known to cause miscarriage and stillbirth in pregnant women.

How to Tell If Your Avocado Is Part of the Recall

Only Henry Avocado avocados grown in California that bear the “Bravocado” or “organic” and “California” stickers are part of this recall. Henry Avocado avocados imported from Mexico are not part of this recall.

What Parents Can Do

If you have an affected avocado do not eat it. Throw the avocado away or bring it to the place of purchase for a full refund. Direct recall questions to Henry Avocado at 760-745-6632, ext. 132.

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Matthew Henry via Burst

 

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