May’s birthstone is known as the “Jewel of Kings”

You know that April showers bring May flowers, but did you know that many people born in May consider themselves to be the happiest and healthiest people around?  Read on to find out why May-born babies are such a hearty lot. And if you’re expecting a May babe, check out this list of adorable names just for people born in May. 

1. People born in May consider themselves to be lucky.

According to a survey of nearly 30,000 participants, respondents were asked to rate how lucky they thought they were. The findings showed that people born in the summer are more likely to consider themselves lucky than those born in the winter. May-born respondents said they were the luckiest, while people born in November were the most pessimistic.

2. People born in May claim either the Taurus or Gemini zodiac sign.

If you have a birthday of April 20 – May 20, you were born under the sign of Taurus. If your May birthday is May 21 or after, you were born under the sign of Gemini.

3. May babies are driven to succeed.

Strong-willed and achievement-oriented people born in May under the sign of Taurus seem to possess an innate sixth sense that helps them navigate through life. Like their Taurus counterparts born in April, those born in May can be stubborn, but their critical, systematic ways of thinking help them get stuff done.

4. People born in May often have wanderlust.

Restless and curious, people born in May are always itching to explore the world. They often lead exhausting and busy lives that incorporate adventure and work, but they are the last to complain about their hectic lifestyles. For May-born people bitten by the travel bug, exploration isn’t simply a distraction, it’s a way of life.

5. People born in May are fun to be around. 

If you claim Gemini as your astrological sign, there’s a good chance you are chatty, enthusiastic, full of energy, and always looking to join the party. While this can be exhausting for some, everyone needs that go-go-go person in their lives.

6. May babies tend to be tinier than babies born in other months.

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, babies born in May tend to be shorter, lighter, and have smaller heads, which scientists think is related to the amount of vitamin D the mother gets while pregnant.

7. The birthstone for May represents royalty, eloquence, and foresight. 

May’s birthstone, the emerald, is known as the “Jewel of Kings.” Beloved by royal figures throughout history, the most famous might be Cleopatra, who was said to shower this precious gem on visiting dignitaries. It was thought to reveal the truth and was used to ward off spells. People also thought, if worn, it would increase riches and allow the wearer to predict the future.

8. They share their birth month with plenty of famous people born in May.

There are quite a few celebrities born in May, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Robert Downey Jr., Adele, Cate Blanchett, Stevie Wonder, Ian McKellen, and Octavia Spencer.

Related: This Is Why September Babies Are More Successful, According to Science

 

People born in April are either Aries or Taurus

For those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere, April is a happy month of beginnings: the start of springtime and the restarting of the zodiac cycle, which begins with Aries. For those with an April birthday, longer days and the renewal of seasons have imbued April babies with bubbly personalities and positive outlooks. Here are some other fun facts (like what’s April’s birthstone) and traits of people born in April, the fourth of the year.

They’re born in the middle of the pack

April babies are usually neither the youngest nor the oldest students in their class, neatly fitting in the middle of the school calendar. A study from the University of Exeter found that first-time moms were more likely to attempt to plan their delivery dates for the spring. 

Aries are natural-born leaders

If you know someone born under the sign of Aries, (March 21 – April 19) you’ll know that thanks to their ambitious and tenacious natures, people born in April tend to be leaders. They can be innately stubborn and bossy—a potent combination (when used right) that can lead to people born in April to achieving their goals.

April’s birthstone is one the rarest of all—the diamond

When worn, the diamond is thought to increase the wearer’s inner strength. One of the hardest materials on the planet, April’s birthstone is also the symbol of eternal love and is one of the most popular gems to give as a gift. In the middle ages, the diamond was thought to have healing powers.

Your BFF is probably born in April

Passionate and caring, those born in under the sign of Taurus (April 20 – May 20) are steadfast, making loyal and generous friends. But be forewarned: April babies can be chatterboxes who love attention and can sometimes want to hog the spotlight.

People born in April can be emotional

Aries babies are known to be passionate, fiery, and impatient, which means they tend to wear their emotions on their sleeves. The good news is, this makes them wonderful friends because they bring all that passion to every relationship in life.

April babies are fearless risk-takers

Aries is the most fearless sign of them all. This means there’s a good chance your baby born in April will be enthusiastic about everything they do and be unafraid of taking risks. That’s great news if you’re a parent who doesn’t like to stay still because April babies are feisty and possess seemingly boundless energy.

People born in April are hard workers and love routine

Those who are born under the sign of Taurus tend to be hard workers—they’re not afraid to roll up their sleeves and get the job done, already. They’re also a huge fan of consistency, so don’t be surprised if your April baby thrives on a routine (aka, don’t EVER skip the nap).

They share their birthday month with these celebrities born in April

Plenty of famous people have April birthdays, including Michael Fassbender, Pedro Pascal, Robert Downey Jr., Natasha Lyonne, Pharrell Williams, Elle Fanning, Samira Wiley, Chance the Rapper, Jennifer Garner, and Tim Curry. Notable (fictional) characters born in April include animated smart-aleck Bart Simpson (born April 1, 1979) and heavyweight boxer Rocky Balboa (born April 6, 1946).

Related: The Parent/Child Astrology Compatibility Chart

Family game night is a great time to debut a new board game of the year might make their debut. But for those times when you’re looking for easy fun, keep a few tried-and-true games on hand. These classic board games have lasted for a reason: not only are they great for kids to play with other kids, but they are also well-suited to multi-generational play. The familiar rules make them quick to learn but tricky to win.


Candy Land

$12 BUY NOW

All the sweetness without the sugar crash! Go for the classic edition created to celebrate the game's 65th anniversary and experience sweet nostalgia when your primary-colored gingerbread man sets out on an adventure through the Gumdrop Mountains and Peppermint Stick Forest. It's a perfect first game, as it teaches little ones colors, counting and the fun of chasing ice cream floats. For ages 4 and up.


Chutes and Ladders

$13 BUY NOW

Some things are so simple! Break the rules and slide down the chute, do a good deed and climb up the ladder. This classic board game is full of ups and downs which keeps things exciting, and any game dishing out rewards to the littles for good behavior gets a giant thumbs up in our book. Best for ages 3 to 7.


Jenga

$6 BUY NOW

Great for hand-eye coordination (and developing patience) break out this old-school game of block stacking and crashing. As the tower grows so does the focus and anticipation. May the sturdiest (little) hand win. For ages 6 years and up.


Uno

$6 BUY NOW

This family fave is essentially a color-coded version of Crazy 8s. It also may be one of the most popular games around. It's easy to learn and a blast to play. And whether your tiny tike playing for the first time, or a great-grandparent playing for the 100th time, the chance to scream UNO never gets old. For ages 5 and up.


Sorry!

$7 BUY NOW

One of the first words kids learn (we hope!) to say is "sorry", and they'll get to practice their skills in this easy-to-learn and quick-to-master game. The goal is to slide, jump and collide your way around the board from start to finish, but get caught by an opponent and you'll be sorry! For ages 6 and up.


Monopoly (1980s Edition)

$25 BUY NOW

No credit card machine, no "Stranger Things" edition, just the classic Monopoly you grew up with. The real question is, do you put money in the Free Parking spot?


Connect 4

$10 BUY NOW

Connect Four is one of those low-key games that you can play with the kids even when you're tired (or they are). It's essentially just tic tac toe with a twist, making it a great early game for kids. The manufacturer recommends ages 6 and up but we think younger kids (3 and up) can enjoy it. 


Scrabble

$19 BUY NOW

Learn critical thinking, strategy, and spelling with this classic board game. Best for kids 8 and up, but if you play with younger kids you can simplify by setting them up for easy words and giving second chances when words are misspelled. Keep a dictionary nearby just in case.


Battleship

$16 BUY NOW

This basic guessing game lets each player become a commander of the high seas. The idea is to search for enemy ships and eliminate them one by one. Your kiddo will love the game's realistic naval crafts and action-packed gameplay. For ages 7 and up.


Mancala

$24 BUY NOW

Up the coolness factor of this simple calculation bead game by telling your kiddo they're playing an ancient game that first popped up in Egypt and Africa. The object is basic—accumulate the most beads through a series of moves and captures—but winning is anything but. For ages 8 and up.

 


Checkers

$10 BUY NOW

Before they start beating you at chess, give them a chance to take over with Checkers, one of the simplest and most enjoyable of the classic board games. 

 


Yahtzee!

$9 BUY NOW

With 13 rounds per game and a whole lot of dice shaking, this game requires an investment in time beyond the 15 minutes games like Operation or Chutes and Ladders takes, but there's something deeply satisfying about shouting your victory. For ages 8 and up, this game is an excellent multi-generational game.

 


Hi-Ho! Cherry-O

$13 BUY NOW

Get some at-home math fun with this fruit-pickin' classic board game. Spin the arrow, fill the "basket," and be the first one to clear the tree! For ages 4 and up.


Operation

$19 BUY NOW

"Operate" on Cavity Sam with the tweezers and carefully remove the little pieces without touching the sides. It's harder than it looks! The game with an electrical charge isn't just funny, it helps kids learn fine motor skills. Ages 6 and up.

 


Clue (Retro Series 1986 Edition)

$20 BUY NOW

There are several editions of Clue but if you want them to play the one you had when you were a kid, this is it. This classic game of "whodunit" allows kids to use the process of elimination to determine the weapon, location, and murderer. Ages 8 and up.

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Stains: they are the hallmark of true parenting (and a sure result of a girls-night-in). While you might be able to let a few slide, some of them just could cost you the deposit on your apartment or incite a desire to replace your shag with something more, well, wipeable. We polled our editorial staff—who know a thing or two about stain removal—and got together their best tips. Scroll down for 18 simple ways to keep it clean.

security via Pixabay

1. Use boiling water for red wine: You might have heard the tried and true soda water/cold water rinse for red wine, but here’s a method our editors swear by—pour boiling water over the red wine stain and blot it up with a cloth (Note: do not blot it before without water).

2. Use lemon for sweat rings: Use lemon juice and water on sweat stains. Make a little potion and soak the area. Baking soda and water paste can help remove underarm stains on white clothing.

3. Use salt for red wine and grease stain: Pour salt on the stain to soak up any extra wine, then soak in cold water for 30 min. For blood, one hour in cold saltwater. Salt also helps absorb grease stains!

4. Use Shock It Clean. No, we don’t mean singing perfectly on-pitch to "Side to Side" and shocking the crowd. One of our editors turned us on to this product, and we are telling you that it removes every carpet stain ever. Including that weird pee stain you only just now noticed and can’t tell if it’s human or pet.  

5. Use white wine on red wine: Yes, you have to waste a little white wine, but that’s nothing compared to wasting a good Sangiovese (Yes, we realize this is the third wine stain hack. What?).

Tyler Nix via Unsplash

6. Use white vinegar to get out coffee stains: Try white vinegar on coffee stains (on clothing). Soak for at least 8 hrs.

7. Chalk works on oil: Liquid dish soap is the most effective treatment for oil stains, but a stick of chalk can help absorb it quickly. Use a paper towel to blot up as much oil as possible, then rub the chalk stick on it. Wash as soon as possible. 

8. One word: Oxiclean (That's one word, right?). Grass stains have met their match.

9. Use nail polish remover on paint: If you’ve got paint on the jeans you just couldn’t bring yourself to take off before touching up the walls, try shaving it off with a razor. Super stubborn paint stains from the people who painted before you can be combatted with nail polish remover and elbow grease.

10. Aluminum foil works wonder on rust: You can remove rust by lightly scrubbing with aluminum foil. Add a little white vinegar to really scrape off stubborn stuff.

Callum Hill via Unsplash

11. Lemons make your sink shine: Clean up the gunk and shine up the chrome of your faucets using lemons. You can use a half-lemon or a wedge to squeeze into narrow spots and it works great to get your stainless steel sink to gleam too.

12. Toothpaste will make your diamonds sparkle: Use toothpaste to polish your silver rings and get rid of those tarnished stains.

13. Take care with rubbing alcohol to get nail polish out of the carpet: If you spill nail polish on the carpet or floor, use a microfiber cloth to absorb as much as you can, then continue blotting with rubbing alcohol and microfiber cloth (Nail polish remover can damage hardwoods and other flooring surfaces, but you can try soaking the microfiber cloth in a bit of remover before washing).

14. Baking soda and white vinegar works on pet messes: To clean up poop, dog or otherwise, from the carpet you'll need white vinegar and baking soda. And a lot of paper towels. And probably gloves. Just let the paste fizz and blot, fizz and blot. It's like a mini-volcano of gross.

lightstargod via Pixabay

15. Cornstarch on a decorated dog: Kids got markers and/or paints and painted your dog? (No, oh, just wait...) If your pooch is light-colored, cornstarch can help lighten the fur back up.

16. Shout also works on pet messes: You can try your average carpet cleaner or "pet stain remover" but we found nothing takes care of the remains of the day like a laundry stain remover, i.e. extra-strength Shout.

17. Soda on garage grease stains. Pour a can of Coke on a greasy stain in your garage. (Diet Coke won't cut it, but you can always try.)

18. If all else fails: Give up (wear dark colors, or beige if you’re preventing spit-up stains; make sure your carpets are artfully swirly; put smocks on your kids every day).

 

—Edit Team

 

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I never had that feeling in life that I truly fit in or I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. What was my purpose in life? They say we all have a purpose here on Earth. What is mine? What was I supposed to be doing?

From early on, starting in grade school, I always felt like the odd man out. I got along with everyone, but I felt like I was not truly included or welcomed like some of the other kids. At birthday parties I felt alone. I watched other kids clicking more and meshing with one another. Not me. I knew I wasn’t truly in the group. I would sit there and feel uncomfortable and want to run out the door as quickly as possible. I wanted to go home.

Even up through high school I felt this way. I grew up in a small Midwest town where everyone knew everyone’s business. Again, I got along with pretty much everybody but it still wasn’t a good feeling. I started to skip school and miss a lot of my classes. I got off track and felt even more lost and alone.

Years later, I went to nursing school and at age 37 I started my new career. I became a Registered Nurse and worked in the ICU. I love what I do, and at that time I still couldn’t think of anything I’d rather be doing.

But guess what??!!! That all changed once my twins were born.

I loved being a mother but I still wanted to work and have a career. But then my son got diagnosed with autism at age 3. Then I knew, this was it. This was my purpose. My thing in life was to be there for my son. I was the one for him. He was the one for me. I was always a stubborn person and a little set in my ways. I was never one to back down from a good fight. What a perfect fit I was, to have an autistic child.

There are many battles a parent of an autistic child must fight. My personality would help my son to get the best in life. I would fight for him tooth and nail for everything. I wouldn’t rest until he got what he deserved. I believed in him and I fought hard. I would fight any battle for him. He is my purpose.

I fought to get my son services and therapy to help him grow. I went toe-to-toe with the school district, one of our biggest battles. They wanted to put my son in a severe classroom. I knew that was not where he needed to be. A parent knows what’s best for their child. They live with their child, and see them every day and night. How could strangers know what’s best for my son? I fought like a mama bear fights for her cub. I won and got my son the education he deserved, and he is doing very well. I finally have some of the school team on our side now. They see the potential and skill set my son has. He is unbelievably smart and knows so much more than people give him credit for. I believed in him and always will.

I will always go to battle for this kid. I will never let anyone tell me that my son can’t do something when I know he can. Parents, we are our children’s biggest advocates. Your child has rights and you as parents do as well. Don’t give in to what someone says. Go with your gut instinct and go to battle. Never let go of the dreams and hopes you have for your child. You will win!!

feature image Alvaro Reyes via Unsplash

Wendy Robles lives in California with her husband and twins. She's an ICU Registered Nurse, she advocates for her patients and her son who is on the autism spectrum. Through her blog she tells her experiences of raising a child on the spectrum, the good and the ugly. 

 

Is there anything Kevin Hart can’t do? His debut children’s book Marcus Makes a Movie is set to be published by Crown Books for Young Readers, an imprint of Random House Children’s Books. The first in a series, Marcus Makes a Movie will release with a first print run of 150,000 on Jun. 1, 2021.

Marcus Makes a Movie

The humorous novel for middle-grade readers, co-written with New York Times bestselling author Geoff Rodkey and featuring art from David Cooper, pulls from Kevin’s experiences as a go-getter and father of four to celebrate do-it-yourself creativity and rising against the odds to bring your dreams to life. 

Hart’s debut follows a boy named Marcus who dreams of making a blockbuster superhero film. When he’s assigned to create a movie for an after-school class, he teams up with his creative-nemesis-turned-partner Sierra to bring the superhero comic he’s written to life. Will they be able to pull off special effects with zero dollars? With the perfect amount of drive, vision, and luck, these kids from the block might just prove there’s a way to make their dreams come true. With nonstop laughs from Hart and Rodkey and more than 50 black-and-white illustrations from Cooper, Marcus Makes a Movie will have readers eager for the sequel before they’ve even reached the last page.

Kevin Hart

As a child growing up in North Philadelphia, Hart did not have access to many books that he could see himself in. Now a father, he is eager for his children to have a different experience. With Marcus Makes a Movie, Hart seeks to do his part to bring more diversity to children’s books while also sharing a message important to him: that every child has the ability to dream big and achieve their goals if they are willing to persist and put in the work, just as he did.

“When I was younger, all I heard was no,” says Hart. “No, you can’t. No, you’re not good enough. No, you don’t have the right education or know the right people. I’m stubborn, so I turned those no’s into fuel. Every time I heard one, it just made me work harder to prove that whoever said it was wrong. My hope is that Marcus Makes a Movie will show kids that the only one who can really say no to their goals is themselves. If they can dream it, then they can do it.”

“We’re very excited to be working with Kevin Hart on this fun new series,” says Phoebe Yeh, VP & Publisher. “Marcus Makes a Movie is not only hilarious, but it’s also very relatable and empowering in the way it shows kids using what they have to make their creative dreams a reality.”

Marcus Makes a Movie will also be available as an audiobook narrated by Hart from Listening Library, an imprint of Penguin Random House Audio, releasing simultaneously on Jun. 1, 2021.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

All photos courtesy Random House Children’s Books/Featured photo: Kevin Kwan 

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Given the time of year, most people are taking some time to reflect on their lives and think about the things and people that they find themselves grateful for. Thinking about this myself, I have to think more intently on what gratitude really looks like to me, and whether or not I turly express it to the depth that I feel it. The answer in the majority of cases, is unfortunately no.

Raising children is difficult.

Then add special needs.

And a pandemic.

Sleepless nights.

Clinical, PTSD-level anxiety.

Communication struggles that turn into meltdowns.

Meltdowns that turn into aggression.

Just so much uncertainty.

But, with each of those struggles, comes something so beautiful—so many things to be grateful for.

Grateful for the excitement and pure joy a new skill brings.

Grateful for that moment when you hit a breakthrough, and communication gains shine through.

Grateful for a supportive husband that recognizes when a break is needed, even though he is tired from a full day of work himself.

Grateful for a helpful, loving, teenage sibling that knows she is her little brother’s person—and will do anything to see him smile.

Grateful for supportive parents that will FaceTime multiple times a week—to only be talked to for maybe two minutes of the half-hour they are on the call. ‘Cause just being connected and accessible to your son calms him, knowing he can see more of his people.’

Grateful for a tribe of friends that get your life, share in your struggles, acknowledge your successes, and champion each other. Love y’all—the ones that lift you up during the hard, no matter the time of day…or night.

Grateful for the team of therapists and teachers, the ones that go above and beyond, so far beyond their call of duty to provide the best format for your child to flourish, and gracefully work with him even when he’s struggling, just being stubborn or even when he’s acting like a maniac squirrel that fell in a barrel of Mountain Drew and drank his way out.

There are just so many things to be grateful for. Yes, this special needs journey has its share of hardships. If not for these struggles, the hard, or the difficult, the good, the gains, and the friendships would likely have never shone through so brightly.

I’m grateful for each and every one of you.

 

This post originally appeared on Hurricane Heffners.

Trista is a mother of two, Allayna and David. David was diagnosed with moderate ASD. She is married to her husband Drew and they live in Wisconsin where she works full-time from home. She enjoys spending time with her family, large amounts of coffee and sharing her family's journey.

Putting sunscreen on a toddler is about as easy as trying to bathe an angry cat: They squirm. They try to run away. They whine. So what’s a parent to do to protect those baby-soft faces, other than give up entirely and head indoors? We looked around and gathered the best sunscreen application hacks to help you out. Keep reading to see them all.

Get Creative with Applicators

Solar Buddies

If you'd rather use lotion sunscreen (which in our opinion is best for an even spread), give your kids novel ways to slap the stuff all over their bodies. Makeup sponges—or even paint brushes—can work well and make sunscreen application fun for kids. Or try this awesome sunscreen applicator that was mom-designed specifically for kids to use themselves.

For applying to faces, if you don't have a stick, try using cotton swabs, cotton balls or even popsicle sticks to help glide on the sunscreen without getting it in the eyes. 

Use a Stick—Followed with a Spray

Chezbeate via Pixaby

Stick sunblocks are great for kids who perpetually scream "I want to do it myself!" And even if they don't do it by themselves, swiping across the nose and cheeks is way easier for mom or dad, too. Since younger kids won't likely get their entire face covered, let alone their bodies, you'll still need to help them spread the stuff on (or use a spray) once they've covered the bulk of their uncovered skin. 

Put Long Sleeves and Hats on When Possible

swimming pool games
iStock

If you just can't get your squirmy little one to sit still for a proper sunscreen application, at least make sure she's got a hat and sun-protective clothing on to keep her safe, especially during peak sun hours (10 a.m.-2 p.m.).

Make a Game of It

courtesy BabyBum Sunscreen

Kids love making their "best time ever," so try it out with sunscreen application. Set a timer to keep track of how long it takes, or race them yourself! You can also get siblings to apply to each other in a taking-turns (don't get it in the eye) way. 

Make It Part of the Routine

iStock

Put the sunblock right by the front door, so that everybody lathers up when they leave the house. The more you make it part of your routine, the easier it will get to get stubborn kiddos in on the game.

Store the tube of sunscreen in a water bottle, in the ice chest.

Houston Max via Unsplash

Double points for creativity here. First, keeping the cream cold will entice kids to dry off long enough for reapplication. Second, keeping the tube of sunscreen stashed in a water bottle will prevent spills.

Do Their Faces While They're Strapped in Their Car Seats.

iStock

That whole squirming toddler thing is not a myth. Consider getting their faces covered properly while they're still strapped into their seats.

Read Stories or Watch Shows That Emphasize Being Safe in the Sun

girl laughing with mom reading jokes for kids fun happy
iStock

It's always good to hammer in little lessons via stories and TV shows that kids will want to read and watch. This PBS-sponsored short about why sunscreen matters is easy for kids to understand. You can also get this "Sun Show" DVD that is packed with fun segments about sun safety. If you'd rather read to your tiny tot, this free eBook from Sun Safe Schools will teach your kids a little about sun safety.

 

Distract with a Song (and Your Phone)

JESHOOTS vis Pexels

Not only will your wiggle worm be distracted by this adorable "Sunscreen March" on YouTube, but it will also mean that you'll likely be handing her a smartphone, which almost always works to keep kids still.

—Melissa Heckscher with Gabby Cullen

 

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Are you happy?  The question is innocent enough. My four-year-old who is running around the house with his plastic sword in case we get attacked by Princess Robots (yeah, don’t ask) stops dead in his tracks to ask me.

I’m always happy when I’m with you, I instinctively reply. The truth, the truth, I’ll always tell him the truth, I think to myself as I justify the obfuscation by rationalizing that I am indeed always happy in his presence. But this prescient, empathic, stubborn-persistent little boy follows up: Are you happy when you’re sad? I smile. Caught.

In the moment’s melancholy and awed by his ability to read me, I answer: Yes. I’m thinking of your Abuelo. And I’m happy and sad. Content that he got the answer he knew was right, he moved back to the Princess Robots. An Abuelo he’s never met. An Abuelo who would revel in his prescient, persistent precociousness. An Abuelo who doesn’t know he exists.

The earliest memory I have of my Father, is of him giving me 15 cents (I am that old) to go to the corner of the strip-mall to buy a colada. For the uninitiated, a colada is a cup, yes a cup, of espresso that is then poured into tiny cups that people do as shots. He would watch me from one end of the strip-mall as I walked to the other end, to make the purchase at the bakery window. Most bakeries in Miami, at least those that aren’t particularly fancy, have take-out windows. I could do this because at six-years-old I was a big-boy. And, I was allowed certain freedoms and responsibilities.

By eight-years-old, I was helping him in the family business; digging in the earth, planting trees, fertilizing plants. But not too much. My brother did most of that work, with rare protest. I was the fancy child even then. I can, however, still recite the mantra he instilled in me: Make the hole bigger than the root ball so that it fits comfortably in the ground; throw some loose dirt at the bottom and around the root ball to make it easier for the roots to spread; don’t pack the dirt too tightly, you’ll just get in the tree’s way; water, fertilize and leave the rest to nature. I still plant trees in the same way. Little did I know then, the old man was also teaching me how to raise a child. But that’s the subject of another essay. Always leave them wanting more.

By age 15, we would get into ferocious arguments about the need to lift the trade embargo against Cuba. I was for lifting, he was against. His heart still freshly bleeding from the wounds of having to leave a country he loved; even though it had been almost 30 years by then. Of course, during that time, my Father knew nothing, and I knew everything. Still, I marveled in awe with how he could recall with precision his exploits in Cuba and Venezuela, at first selling fruit on the streets with my Mother to eke out a living in support my brother and sister, long before I was born. Then later, owning businesses that were acclaimed by heads of state. I still wish I had told him then how much I loved his stories.

In my early 20s the distance grew between us—physical distance; as I left that godforsaken city and traveled to Washington, D.C. to study. I made the begrudging weekly phone calls. And I remember one in particular. I was on the verge of quitting law school: emotionally wrecked, overwhelmed, and anxious as all. Yet, using every ounce of skill he had as the finest negotiator in the world, he talked me off the edge of the cliff. Not too bad for a guy who never got past the sixth grade. This time, he recalled with great joy my great exploits, and how proud he was of me. He drew on examples of things I had long since forgotten or thought trivial; yet, in his fatherly eyes were luminous.

In my 30s our relationship hit its emotional stride. My Father knew everything, and he acknowledged I knew some things. In his 70s he was funny, uncensored, irreverent, and sharp-as-a-tack. He would go toe-to-toe with me, and with my husband quip for quip. He would regale us with stories of things that happened when I was a child; of his adventures with my mother; of my siblings. We traveled the world together. But we did notice his short-term memory started to fail.

One Thanksgiving, while staying at my sister’s house for a week, I noticed my Dad had been washing his underwear daily in the sink. I checked his suitcase, sure enough, his then-wife had packed him enough underwear for the entire stay. I asked him why he was washing his underwear. I need clean underwear, he answered.

At 93 Dad remembers nothing. The deterioration was slow. And painful. And excruciating to watch.  And the memories that are locked inside that, yes, beautiful mind are inaccessible.

My son does not know his Abuelo. I will regale him with stories that are locked in my mind, for as long as I am able. Stories about that prescient, empathic, stubborn-persistent man that he will never meet; a man that he would revel in. A man that in his youth, as a prescient, persistent precocious child, worked the sugar cane fields to support his family. A man that talked me off many a ledge. A man that raised his own brothers. A man that knew to give a root ball space. A man that was happy, even when he was sad.

And even though I am a more imitation than original, he will still hear his voice. And together they will fight the Princess Robots.

 

 

This post originally appeared on Mr. Alex’s Bookshelf.
ALEXANDER FERNÁNDEZ
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Father, children's book critic, writer, judge, director, actor and amature photographer—together with his husband of 25 years—raising an energetic four-year old! "Parent is not just a noun, it's a verb.  If you're ever in doubt as to what to do, substitute the word caregiver.  It will steer you in the right direction."  

Last June my family lost our beloved Labrador, Ralphie. It was a devastating loss that was shocking and sudden even though our boy was almost 14 years old. We spent much of the summer crying and being sad, but I still had two energetic little boys who needed me to fill their long summer days. And so, we summer camped and vacationed and road tripped. Through it all we laughed, we cried, we mourned, and we healed. Bit by bit and day by day we moved forward until we found ourselves smiling at his memory instead of crying.

The boys asked for a puppy, begged for a puppy and then finally gave up on us as the days stretched into months and their asking fell on deaf ears. While I knew our family needed a dog, I wasn’t sure that I was ready for a new puppy. I had forgotten the manual on how to raise one. I was so much younger the first time around and had gotten used to the calm and easy life that an old dog provides. No accidents, no frantic energy and no puppy teeth as sharp as razors.

Eventually, my husband and I decided to surprise the kids with a new dog. We researched breeders and were delighted to find a litter available a few days before Christmas. I ordered dog beds and bowls and toys and hid them around the house and then the week before the holiday we piled our boys in the car under the guise that we would be visiting family for an early Christmas celebration. No questions were asked as we pulled off the road just outside the breeder and handed each one of our boys a wrapped gift.

We videoed their reactions as each one excitedly tore into the paper. Immediately our older son began crying tears of joy after seeing the tiny red dog harness that we had wrapped up. He could not contain his happiness. It was the exact reaction we had hoped for. However, as we panned the camera to our younger son we were shocked to hear “I don’t want a new dog! Noooooo…it’s not our dog, it’s your dog! I want Ralphie.” Stubborn, strong-willed and fiercely loyal we probably should have been expecting this reaction, but we were genuinely shocked. “It’s ok,” we told him “you can just go look at the puppies.” “Nooooooooo!” He cried before becoming inconsolable.

My husband and I exchanged glances and laughed nervously before slowly driving up the long driveway to the breeder’s home. At this point our son was hysterical and our attempts to calm him were met with resistance and more tears. We sat awkwardly in the car with our crying child trying to decide the best course of action. We had 45 minutes to pick out and pick up our puppy and were given a specific time frame in which to do so. Having been the 3rd family to request this litter meant we were 3rd on the list to pick and the precious minutes were ticking by. All eyes were on us. No, I mean literally…the greeters were staring at our car as we sat with a screaming child inside.

At this point I was worried they would even let a dog go home with us. I turned to my youngest and said, “Nicholas, we need to go inside and see these puppies and we are going to choose one to bring home. You can either join us or wait here by the car.” His choice was to remain steadfastly in that car and so we got out, waved goodbye and headed to the gate. Now to be clear, we were inside a locked driveway, the car doors were unlocked and our youngest is almost 8. When he digs in…you must as well. But just before we entered, he did exactly what I hoped and anticipated which was to come running toward us. I’m sorry but once you see a lab puppy you can’t help but fall in love and that’s exactly what our whole family did. It was hard to choose because they were all so adorable.

My husband immediately asked, “which is the calmest?” The breeder pointed to one in a black collar and one without a collar. “What about this guy in the orange collar?” asked my oldest. “Oh, he’s the most rambunctious and our favorite” the breeder replied as orange collar climbed on top of his sleeping siblings to lay down. And who do you think our children chose? That’s right…. orange.

We’ve now had orange collar for two weeks and have since named him Murphy. He is all the things I thought I wasn’t ready for…a biter with teeth like razors, he pees in the house and has copious amounts of crazy energy. He also has brought a light back into our family. Our children adore him…. even my youngest son who came around as soon as he saw those sweet puppies. Even the middle of the night potty breaks can’t take away from our joy.

We brought home a lab in the hopes that he would be like our last dog…the best one that ever lived. And though Murphy is little like Ralphie, his special and unique little personality makes us love him in his own right. So, as I run him around the yard in the warm winter sun, I turn my head to the heavens and say a thank you to the past as we look toward the future.

I am the proud mom of 2 energetic little boys, an 11 year old dog and sometimes my husband! Life moves pretty fast, if you dont look around once in a while...then you can pretend you dont see the piled up dirty laundry, dishes and never ending trails of toys!