ML Interest Tag: suck

I Never Wanted to Be a #Boymom

By Katie Washington

Boy mom. It’s all I heard during my first, second, and third pregnancies. I never understood it. I don’t know what it is about me that says “boy mom” and honestly, I never really wanted it. I always wanted children. I was just fine to have a boy in the mix but, all I ever wanted, for as long as I can remember, was a little girl.

I think about that saying, “Man plans and God laughs,” a lot when it comes to my small brood of boys. I always planned for a little girl; three boys later and God is still laughing. When my first was born and they announced I had a little boy, I was shocked. I can still see my husband’s mouth bubbling around the letter B. I remember staring at him blankly. A boy? What was I going to do with a boy? I was positive I was having a girl; I would know what to do with a girl; I’d mentally prepared for a girl and now I had to readjust my emotions and expectations.

And Then Baby #2 Was a Boy

My next child came a quick 16 months later. Another healthy, beautiful baby boy; I was thrilled. I was also surprised…and a little disappointed. I’d tempered my expectations the second time around and announced at every opportunity that it was probably another boy, but quietly, I wished and prayed for my girl. God laughed again when baby boy #2 was born. He was absolutely perfect and I comforted myself with the knowledge that we would (more than likely) have a third. That’s when it would happen, I thought. Third time’s a charm; I’ll get my girl then.

And Then Baby #3 Showed Up

Baby #3 came two weeks early. My husband and I were at dinner with some of his work colleagues. I’d been having contractions, sporadic and irregular, nothing to worry about. Braxton Hicks, for sure. We spent a lovely evening with lovely people and I took my sweet time eating everything. Crab salad? Yes, please. The duck confit? Definitely. And I’m pregnant, so can I add mashed potatoes to that order? Is there any more bread? Dessert? I’m glad you asked. That flourless chocolate torte looks delicious.

On the 15-minute ride back to our house, I went from contractions every 25+ minutes to every 5 minutes. My husband was ready to go to the hospital immediately. I made us wait and time the contractions; we got to the hospital at 2 a.m.

Matthew was born around 7:00 that morning. I pushed that baby out and held my breath, waiting for the nurses to tell me it was a girl. I had a name ready. I would see her and hold her and my family would be complete. It was my husband who finally got a glimpse of the goods and told me that I had another son…and I burst into tears. Another boy. A third boy. For one quick, irrational moment, I thought: no, it’s fine, there’s another baby in there and she’ll be out in a minute. Then they laid him on top of me. He immediately curled up, started sucking his fingers, and I fell completely in love. He was perfect, an absolutely beautiful baby boy.

The feelings lingered. The sadness, the disappointment, and the utter bemusement that I was now mother to three boys and zero girls. It never even crossed my mind that, when I had my babies, they’d be boys. Most of the people I know have a mix of boys and girls; why would I be different? And so, I cried and then I cried some more. And then I cried off and on for my entire first week home.

My husband couldn’t understand. Here we were, blessed with three beautiful, healthy children. I had healthy pregnancies. The boys were lively and energetic and happy. Why was I so upset? Why couldn’t I be happy with the family we had?

I am happy with the family we have, I told him. I don’t want to give any of the boys back. I wouldn’t trade any of my boys for a girl. Our boys are beautiful and they are happy and they are loved, but I spent my entire life thinking I would have a daughter and now, that isn’t something that will happen for me. After each baby, I comforted myself with the knowledge that we’d try again. Now, our three children are birthed and here and (I hope) thriving and this dream, this expectation, that I’ve had my whole life is gone. It felt like a death, and I felt like I was mourning a whole life of things I’d never now never get to do. Some of it was superficial: the sweet clothes and precious nursery, ruffled bubbles, and smocked dresses, coats, tights, and bows.

The Hardest Part about Not a Having a Girl

The hardest part was emotional. It was letting go of something I’d wanted as long as I could remember, of something I’d always expected to have in my life. These feelings were heart wrenching and devastating in ways I’d never experienced before. I couldn’t work harder or take a class or save money to earn what I wanted. I was entirely at the mercy of God, fate, biology. “You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.” Only I did pitch a fit, in my way. I cried; I mourned; and I put it away because really, what else can you do?

I adore my boys—their sweetness and energy, their big hearts, and hilarious toddler commentary. I look at them and can’t believe they’re mine; my heart simply swells. My wild Washington trio humbles me and challenges me and fills me with joy.

I’m able to get my “girls fix” from nieces and goddaughters and children of friends and family who are generous enough to share their daughters with me. It helps, and those feelings of loss or “less than” have morphed into occasional aches…then one of my boys needs his mommy and the ache subsides.

This post originally appeared on Missy & Tots.

I'm 38, not single, but I do enjoy long walks on the beach. I'm a mom to 3 little boys, ages 5 and under; married to a wonderful man for almost 6 years. I work at the University of South Carolina (Go Gamecocks!) and live with my family in SC.

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I Secretly Hate My Husband

By BA Eubank

Photo: Susbany via Pixabay

I don’t hate my husband as a person. He’s not a bad guy. He’s a good husband and a great dad. But I hate that he gets to be the dad. 

Let’s face it: dads have it easy. I’m sure every dad reading this instantly balks and is starting their own list of how they have it harder. 

Let me break it down for you. Moms grow this tiny human in her body for nine, long, excruciating months. We suffer morning sickness, sore boobs, and massive weight gain, which can take years to lose, if ever. 

We have to push this tiny human out of our bodies, which is the most pain one will ever feel in their lifetime. Not to mention burning agony every time we pee for days after. 

If one goes the c-section route, it’s not any better. For days it will hurt just to walk. And gosh forbid we stretch the stitches wrong. 

Then there’s the infant stage. Men somehow can sleep through every squawk and wail. So that leaves it up to us moms to change their diapers and either nurse them or make a bottle and try to get them back to sleep. 

How many diapers do dads change, especially when it’s a blowout? One excuse I’ve heard many times is moms are just better at that stuff. Can I tell you something? It’s not because we’re better at it. We’re just better at sucking it up and doing what needs to be done. 

Dads get to go to the bathroom alone. Not once does a kid barge in while they’re doing their business to tell them something mundane. Sure, moms could lock the door, but then we have tiny fists pounding on it as they scream to let them in. 

Moms are the keeper of the monitor. When the monsters you’ve created are finally asleep, moms are the ones who always have to keep an ear and eye on the monitor, ready to jump up and console the little ones before they fully wake and will take hours to get back asleep.

How many baths do dads give their kids? For example, I will use my family. We have four kids. Let’s average two baths a week. Bath twice a week for their first six years. 2×52 = 104 baths a year for one kid times 6 years= 624 x 4 kids = 2496. Guess how many my husband has given. Two. Two baths out of almost 2,500. 

Kids come to mom for almost everything. Anytime mom is in the shower, kids will want a snack or can’t find a toy, they barge in and ask mom even though dad is sitting on the couch, readily available. 

When it’s time to go somewhere, moms must get little ones ready. We fight to get shoes and coats on. The whole while, dad stands there, repeating that it’s time to go as shoes sail past his head. 

If the family is going away on vacation, dads pack their stuff up and are done. Moms need to pack up the children’s clothes, spare clothes, favorite stuffed animals, things to do in the car. If she is lucky, she won’t forget any of her stuff when it’s time to leave. 

Moms are the finder of all things. Kids are notoriously known to lose a vast array of items. Most likely because they never put things back where they belong. Kids and dads alike will spend an hour looking with no luck. Moms will come along and find whatever it is in a place right in front of their faces.

When dads get sick, they’re allowed to rest in bed all day. And I mean ALL damn day. While moms have to keep kids entertained, play referee, and make meals between puke fests to the bathroom. 

When kids are sick, who do they want? Mom, of course. We’re the ones up most of the night holding the puke bowl and monitoring temperatures. We’re the ones who get puked on because we fell asleep for ten minutes next to them while dad gets to sleep peacefully alone. 

After dealing with all the headaches we moms go through, I’ve decided in my next life, I want to be the dad. 

 

BA Eubank is a wife and mom of five kids. She's been through all the stages from colicky baby to one leaving the nest. She squeezes writing in between playing referee and asking the dog what's in his mouth. 

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5 Tips to Stop Thumb Sucking from a SLP

By Janine Segner

Photo: Janine Segner

My three year old has literally been sucking his thumb since he was in the womb. The doctor saw him doing it on the sonogram and said, “You have a thumb sucker on your hands.”

The other morning, while snuggling with both of my sons before getting up for the day, I snapped a picture of both of them, sucking their thumbs. 

While the SLP in me was screaming, “NO! I can’t have two thumb suckers!” and my mind immediately raced to “Open bite! Lisp!” the mom in me was thinking, “This is just too adorable, and I need to remember this moment forever.”

That’s the advice I want to give you. Similar to overnight potty training, most thumb suckers will eventually, naturally stop sucking their thumb. Your little one won’t go to college with the same habit. 

When to Start Worrying

Typically, you do not need to worry about thumb-sucking until after a child’s permanent teeth come in. 

But, why is it a problem? Well, the constant presence of the thumb between the teeth and pressure on the teeth and roof of the mouth (palate) can lead to atypical growth and development in those areas. 

Persistent thumb sucking can also lead to an open bite (when the teeth do not touch in the front of the mouth, essentially forming an “O” where the thumb usually rests) or a very high palate.

These issues can then take their toll on feeding and speech. 

Sometimes children with a high palate struggle with eating certain foods because their oral cavity is just too large, and they begin to avoid foods that may get stuck up on the roof of their mouth, like peanut butter, or require extra manipulation, like raw carrots. 

Chronic thumb suckers can also have their speech impacted as a result of developing poor positioning and movement of their tongues. 

This can result in a lisp where the airflow for speech sounds such as /s/ and /z/ is pushed in the wrong direction resulting in a “slushy” sound. Other sounds that might be affected include /t,d,n,l/.

So, what can you do about it as a parent? Here are my top 5 tips.

1. Offer an alternative. If you notice your child is often sucking their thumb while listening to a book or watching a cartoon, give them something to hold with both hands such as a stuffed animal.

2. Target in isolation. In other words, don’t work on thumb sucking at the same time you might also be sleep or potty training. Many babies, toddlers, and young children use thumb sucking as a self-soothing technique, and they may rely heavily on it during those times. 

3. Avoid ridiculing or comparing your child to a younger child (e.g. “Only your little brother sucks his thumb.”). This can be a tough one, especially for other family members, but it is important. Scolding your child for thumb sucking can lead to guilt and may only increase the behavior or habit because of those negative feelings. Your goal is to decrease your child’s dependency on sucking for soothing, and the best way to do this is to make them feel more comfortable in other ways rather than increasing shame and other negative feelings. 

4. Offer rewards and incentives. Start small. For example, read a book together before bed and let your child know that if they keep their thumb out of their mouth, they will earn a sticker towards another larger prize or whatever else might motivate your child.

5. Use physical or visual cues. Try having your child wear a glove during the day, as long as it does not make them feel too self-conscious around other children. Or, consider placing a visual cue (a picture of a thumb with an X on it) perhaps at their preschool table. 

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends treatment if a child is sucking their thumb beyond the age of 5. If you have concerns, bring them up at your child’s next dentist and/or doctor’s appointment. 

 

Janine Segner is a credentialed speech therapist with a decade of experience in school, outpatient medical and private practice settings. She is licensed in Virgnia and Maryland and is the owner of Expressive Speech and Feeding, a pediatric speech therapy practice in Herndon, Virginia.

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Dear Laundry, My One & Only True BFF

By Emily DeRenzis

Dear Laundry,

Hey, I just wanted to say thanks for always being there for me. I just can’t quit you, no matter how hard I try.

I’m sorry I get mad at you sometimes it’s just…I need space, you know? Even when I go away for a day or two, I can always count on you, waiting patiently, for my attention. You don’t mind chilling all clean in a basket while I pretend you don’t exist. You don’t mind when I leave you in the dryer and forget about you until I wash some of your friends. Heck even when you’re overflowing in the hamper, you don’t get mad me. You just wait until I’m ready, which is true compassion. Clean, dirty, left in the washer so I have to wash you again…you just stay. Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. For the rest of my life until I die. Dang, Laundry. That’s some real devotion there.

You don’t happen to know Dinner, do you? She’s not quite as…zen as you are, Laundry. She’s a little more demanding and pretty possessive actually. Between you and me, Dinner can be kind of be a b*tch. But I still gotta chill with Dinner, even when she’s being a total b. She’s not like you, Laundry. She can’t be left alone, not even for one day. Very needy. And a total diva to boot.

She constantly needs to be coddled with options and demands I shop for her at least once a week and then half the time she just lets herself go to waste because God forbid she hang out with Leftovers while I take a night off to see Bookclub. But do you think Dinner cares about my needs? No. In fact, lately, all Dinner does is get upset that it’s Chicken. Again. As if Chicken is going to be her ruination. As if Chicken is some sort of gateway to Liver.

Well, guess what? I’m done being ashamed of Chicken. Chicken gets me. Chicken is low maintenance. Chicken is adaptable to my needs and if Dinner is going to demand nightly visitation and weekly shopping, I’m bringing Chicken whenever I want, however, I want. Dinner even expects me to be perfectly punctual each night and if I dare be a little early or a little late, there’s no compassion. There’s no understanding. There’s just interrogation. Where here have you been? What have you been doing? Who were you with? I mean she literally doesn’t do crap all day except sit around and wait for me then conveniently forgets that I’m also dealing with Breakfast. And Lunch. And Snacks. Snacks alone thinks he might die if we don’t hang out seven times a day but at least he only needs a minute of my time. At least he’s not sucking the soul out of my life.

I’m beginning to think that Dinner and I might need a trial separation.

But don’t worry Laundry. I could never abandon you like that. I don’t need Dinner the way I need you because frankly…I’ve got Popcorn. But without you, Laundry, I have nothing. I know it might not always feel like it, but…I see you. I support you. And always remember—I will get to you. Eventually.

I’ll check in with you later. I gotta go see what’s up with Dishwasher. He’s so full of it.

Stay folded.

Love,

Me

 

Emily is a sometime writer, all the time mom, who constantly wonders how it is she became completely superior at loading the dishwasher. She lives in the Los Angeles area with her two budding teenagers who provide daily inspirational quotes such as: I'm hungry! and Close the door! She loves them a whole lot anyway. 

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My Baby Has a Day & Night Personality

By Laura Hill

The first rule of baby sleep is you DO NOT talk about baby sleep.

The minute you talk about baby sleep, baby will CHANGE HOW SHE SLEEPS. I bragged to ONE person—not even a parent, just a normal person—that my daughter had been sleeping eleven hours straight at night…and she promptly stopped. She also, just for fun, stopped with the blissful and surprising two hour morning naps and now just does an hour which is exactly enough time for me to fall asleep or start something fun or…clean, I guess, but not enough time really to have any free time or really do anything at all. Basically, I have enough time to read the internet and then she’s up and giggling.

Look at me breaking the first rule again already. 

If she had her way, her ladyship would be held all the time when she sleeps…which is precious, of course, but we want to instill good habits and not suffocate her with our pillows by accident and whatnot, so we have the following “sleep routine” (the internet says it’s very important to have a sleep routine) in place:

1. Boo looks tired.

2. Feed Boo boobs

3. Snuggle Boo with binky

4. Remove binky and continue snuggling

5. Try to put down Boo (pretend you’re going to put her to sleep on her back but gently encourage her to roll onto her stomach where she immediately takes on “child’s pose” with her baby booty in the air. Pat pat booty and run away silently)

6. Half the time Boo wakes up crying

7. Repeat previous steps

8. If not successful, turn on the projector that plays classical music and walk away. She usually stops crying and puts herself to sleep in under three minutes.

9. If not, call in Dada who is always successful in under ten minutes. If he is not home or willing, start over. 

10. She will be asleep within five minutes to three hours and will stay asleep for one to eleven hours. 

Did you know that babies aren’t consistent? Or, rather, mine isn’t. I’m sure there are clockwork babies out there who do everything the same all the time and you can just live your life predictably and I’m sure your house is also very clean and you also work full-time saving people’s lives or money or something. 

During the day, she’s nearly a person, lately. She makes yummy noises when she eats people food and can clap her hands and crawl and stand up and pet (grab) the kitty. She’s no longer merely a squish of tears and poop. For funsies, we looked up her horoscope and, I gotta say, she is pretty much living up to it as much as a baby can. Aries are independent, driven, energetic, aggressive. If you ever get the chance to witness Boo versus the cat, you will agree.

But at night, The Creature emerges. I’m not saying The Creature is bad, it’s just, not quite a person. Ever since she was a tiny squish, nighttime Boo has been more bug than human. When she was little, she had a green, Velcro swaddle that made her look just exactly like a larva. And that’s what she was: squirmy body and a mouth, sucking the life force from me to sustain her. Her night time cry is not like that of a day time baby. It’s fetus-like, impulsive, and unemotional. It’s only id.  Its only want: hold me, feed me, I feel alone, make me feel less alone. The Creature doesn’t know she’s a person. The Creature still thinks she and I are the same person. 

The Creature is the cutest and the sweetest. She is all mouth, no eyes. Give her the binky and she immediately is subdued. Give her the nook of my arm, and she shakes her head into it and her whole body relaxes. Her little squish face is the most placid thing you’ll ever see. Such a different face from that of the person emerging in the day time. In the day time, she’s expressive and opinionated and not a little bit judge-y. At night, she’s soft eyes, petal lips slightly parted.

The Creature does not care about my emotions or needs and I can’t blame her. She doesn’t care that it’s inconvenient for me to sit upright, nuzzling her at all hours. The Creature requires sleep. The Creature does not find things funny, only cold or scary or displeasing or, eventually, acceptable. 

Sometimes I feel embittered toward The Creature because she occasionally sprouts a tooth and that means she must be held at all times. Then I tell myself, stop. Look at this little thing. Soon she will change into something else entirely. The larva will hatch or whatever bugs do, and she will be her own person in both the day and night. She won’t reach for you with desperation, her eyes pinched tight, knowing you’re there because you’re always there, waiting to be received in your arms. Soon she will grow up.

The greatest wish you can wish for your kid is that they’ll grow up. As much as we want to plead with them to stay little, you want them to move on with their lives, to be free, to develop new skills and get big and tall, to fly like a beautiful butterfly or some cliché like that. 

The Creature is okay by me.

The Creature is awake. Gotta go.

Laura Wheatman Hill lives in Portland, Oregon with her dentist and two children. She blogs about parenting, writes about everything, and teaches English and drama when not living in an apocalyptic dystopia. Her work has appeared on Sammiches and Psych Meds, Her View From Home, Scary Mommy, and Motherwell.

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How to Travel With an Infant

By Catherine Buhler

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We have had the opportunity to travel a lot while we were living in China. We were so lucky to be so close to so many great places to visit. (Gotta love those frequent flyer miles!)   When we had Samantha we knew that we still wanted to travel. I am a big believer that babies can be adapted to your lifest‌yle if they are trained accordingly. (Unless you have a Satan baby, in that case, good luck.)   

Our first trip with Samantha was taken when she was about 2 months old. We went to the Avatar mountains in China which was about a 2 1/2 hour plane ride there and back.   

That first trip was a trial run and Samantha did great. That encouraged us to keep traveling, and since then Samantha has been to 11 different countries. People ask me how we travel with a baby and I have compiled a list of tips and tricks that we have picked up along the way.     

The Obvious

1. Make sure your baby is sucking on take-off and landing to help their little ears pop. We usually hold off on the bottle until we are taking off. Pacifiers work well, also. Another tip regarding this is if you are using a bottle, make sure to use a smaller nipple than usual so that the sucking takes longer.   

2. Things to remember to pack- If you are traveling internationally you will want to make sure to include formula, diapers, wipes, and baby soap. When we went to a very rural part of Bali I am so glad we had been prepared because I never saw any baby products. If you are traveling within the United States you can save on carry-on luggage space by buying diapers and such when you arrive at your destination.  

3. What to make sure your diaper bag includes- an extra pair of clothes (I am sure you know this already, you master Mother, you!) I always bring a binkie- and an extra. Formula to last you your plane ride and PLUS some. You never know if you will be stuck in a terminal or your plane will be delayed. Make sure you are stocked with milk for your little, in case a change of plan occurs. Toys, toys and toys. Although, this last trip Samantha wanted anything other than a baby toy. We ended up relenting and letting her chew on the barf bag for a few minutes. (Proud Mommy moment, right there!) I also always make sure to include a blanket. Planes are so stinking cold these days!  

The not so Obvious  

1. Kids under age two fly free domestic, but flying internationally it is 10% of the adult fare. This is even if your baby is going to be a lap child.   

2. Did you know there could be an option to get a baby bassinet when flying internationally? Check your airlines website for rules and regulations regarding flying with an infant. We always call the airline after booking the ticket and tell them we want the seat with the bassinet. If you need a bassinet check seatguru.com to validate that they have this option.    

3. When you arrive, do you want the stroller at the gate or at the baggage claim? It is always good to have it at the gate so you do not have to carry them longer than necessary. Talk to them about this right when you check in at the desk. They will give you further information on who to give your stroller to.   

4. When we check in for our flights we always ask if there is an empty seat next to us available. We have really lucked out on a number of our flights and have been able to bring the car seat onto the plane with us so that we didn’t have to hold her. I believe it is up to the cabin crew to decide if they let you do this, so try and butter them up when you are asking.   

5. If you are traveling internationally and use bottles you may want to bring liquid dish soap and a bottle brush to make cleaning them easier. I usually use a small Madela newborn bottle and put some soap into it. (Don’t forget to use the saran wrap under the lid to prevent leakage!) Double bag them in Ziploc bags with your bottle brush for easy access. You can also use travel toiletry bottles for your soap.   

6. My friend introduced me into packing laundry detergent to hand wash things while at the hotel. (liquid works best, obviously). I know it may sound a little ghetto but it may save you from packing a million things! Being able to pack light and wash your baby clothes/bibs/blankets in a hotel tub/sink is the way to go! Especially if you are using those airlines who charge you a ton of money for each checked bag.   

The Perks   

Get me to the front of the line, sucka! Most places will accommodate travelers with infants. We usually get to go through immigration first.  You also get to board the plane first along with the fancy first class fliers. This allows you to set up your nursery for the next few hours and to put your carry-on in a bin close to you.  

The biggest tip I can give you on traveling with an infant is to be prepared and don’t hesitate to ask for help. People are truly willing to give you assistance if you just state your problem.  

I am not going to lie to you. Traveling with an infant isn’t always easy. It takes preparation, determination and patience. But, it is so worth it! I know Samantha won’t remember these trips, but we will have some great photos to show her when she grows up. 

Hi, i'm Cat! We live in Orlando, Florida where my husband works for Mickey Mouse (no, really). We have two kids, Samantha (5) & Preston (2). I suffer from a chronic illness called Short Bowel Syndrome. My ramblings are dedicated to travel adventures, nap time confessions and my medical journey. Cheers!

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Emilia Taneva’s Must-Know Tips for New Moms

By Ruthi Davis

There’s no doubt that becoming a mom for the first time is something that will change you forever. It’s definitely one of the happiest moments in your life, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be the easiest. That’s why influencer Emilia Taneva has put together three tips that every new mama should prepare for.

Breastfeeding as Early as Possible

Breast milk is ultimately the best source of nutrition for a newborn. It is packed with immune-boosting nutrients and can protect against infections and diseases such as diabetes, obesity, and asthma. For mothers, breastfeeding helps reduce the risk of breast and ovarian cancer and speeds up recovery after delivery. Most hospitals have lactation consultants on staff who are always happy to teach you and your baby to latch. Don’t get discouraged and look for assistance if breastfeeding gets difficult or painful. Remember that some moms can’t breastfeed and don’t have enough supply. Supplementing or feeding with formula won’t make you a bad mother!

Take Care of Yourself & Research Breast Pumps and Products That Will Save You Time

Take care of yourself and sleep whenever you can. Nobody will judge you if your house doesn’t look perfect—household tasks can wait. Accept any help you can get for babysitting, cleaning, laundry, and cooking. Be kind to your body and don’t expect to get back in shape overnight. Drink at least eight glasses of water per day and eat healthy so you could feed your milk supply. Research some of the wireless breast pumps that fit in your nursing bra so you could pump hands and cord-free anywhere in any position while working on other tasks. If you have to go back to work immediately, make sure you create a pumping nest in your office with all the necessary things like hand sanitizer, breast pump sanitizer spray and wipes, breast milk cooler carrier bag, milk storage bottles and bags, breast pads.

Listen to Your Baby’s Cues

Babies will give different behaviors and tones of crying. Within the first few weeks, pay attention to those signals so you could easily decipher what it is your baby is trying to tell you. Cues for hunger such as fist sucking, lips smacking, restless acting, reaching with arms and legs start way before crying. When the baby wants to play, they will give engagement cues which might include eye contact and smile, babble or coo. If your baby is tired, they might turn their head away, squirm, yawn, wrinkle their forehead or frown. Responding to the baby’s signals will help regulate his emotions, develop a sense of trust, and prevent the full-throated wail.

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

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This $10 Tool Promises to Stop Itchy Bug Bites

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Summer nights under the stars are some of the best, but the mosquitoes attacking you in the dark are not. It might seem like nothing can combat that endless, annoying itch that follows a bug bite, especially for kids, but one simple tool promises to stop the itch of a mosquito bite by sucking out the poison.

When the bug spray fails you try The Bug Bite Thing Suction Tool. The device uses suction to minimize itching, redness and swelling after a bug bite or sting, including those from mosquitoes, bees, wasps, chiggers, fire ants, fleas and more. The company says it works by sucking out the poison and irritants that cause the itching and inflammation.

It might sound too good to be true, but it does have some promising five star reviews on Amazon. “I cannot stress to you enough how much better this simple little tool has made my quality of life during summer in Ohio. It rains a lot. There are a lot of mosquitoes. Omg so many mosquitoes. I have horrific allergic reactions to mosquito bites. We’re talking bumps swelling to the width of softballs within minutes of the bite. This tool doesn’t make those bumps go away, but it stops the itch IMMEDIATELY,” wrote one reviewer.

At just $10 for a device that can be used over and over again, it’s definitely worth a shot to end that itch. It’s safe to use on adults and kids, but the company does recommend that you practice using it before hand to show kids what the suction will feel like before you actually need to use it.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

photos: Courtesy of Amazon

 

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Going to War for the Career Family

By Sarah Ballard

Life in Afghanistan was easier than life in Washington, DC.

Yes, I realize how terrible that sounds.

The day-to-day grind of two big careers, two small children, major urban commutes, maintaining a home, and trying to have some semblance of a family and personal life is hard.

It is too hard.

In Afghanistan, we didn’t have commutes.  We didn’t have chores.  Food was prepared and provided to us.  We had work, and we had whatever everyone was doing after work as our social life.

Sure, we missed home.  We missed family.  We could have happily done without Duck and Cover alarms that sent us sprinting to the nearest bunker.  We’re thrilled to be away from the omnipresent dust and putrid smell.

We lost colleagues and friends and some of the guards that greeted us each day.

Now, to be fair, we had each other, and we did not yet have our children, so, this is an imbalanced comparison.  But there are certainly days when my husband, Caleb, and I look at each other and reminisce about our simpler times.

In the last couple of weeks, my office rolled out yet another initiative aimed at convincing the work force that the leadership cares about them as whole and healthy people.  Except, if you cracked the hood on that car…

Oooooooph

There was literally nothing there.  No engine.  Nothing.

I’ve been listening to Rachel Hollis’s books and watched her Netflix special.  Caleb is usually the one super-into motivational speakers and their books.  Hollis is often referred to as the “Tony Robbins for women.”  Caleb loves Tony Robbins.

Hollis has done something pretty remarkable in that she tapped into an ocean of female need and desire for someone to inspire them to become better versions of themselves; to become something more.  A key theme for her is that women should aspire to whatever they want to aspire to and apologize to no one about wanting to be something more.  Actually, she wants us to have the audacity to get explicit and write down what we want and who we want to become and shout it out to the world.

Ambitious kids who want to partner up with other ambitious kids and have kids together need a a more targeted example.  Two big careers and young children under one roof needs to become not just notionally possible but rather an enviable option.  It needs to be a passionate and fulfilling existence, not a soul-sucking, guilt-ridden slog.

I can’t find a single person to look to for inspiration on this.

I posted the following on a Facebook group for over 17,000 local moms:

“Hi ladies!  Does anyone have a favorite blogger or YouTuber they feel really speaks to the career mom?  I’m looking for a Rachel Hollis of the executive aspirant, MMLaFleur crowd.”

One response:

“At my work place, the working moms either all work part-time or have a stay-at-home dad.  Yeah, the only two females in management have husbands who stay at home.  And I know they don’t have time for mentoring younger women.  I’m midlevel in my career, and with a full-time job and two small kids, I wouldn’t be able to mentor anyone either.”

And this:

“The woman you are looking for is too busy for blogging.”

And another:

“When I got pregnant with my first child, I was in a leadership development program.  I was lucky to be able to schedule some time with a fairly senior woman at my company.  I expected wisdom and magic, but she had a stay-at-home husband and a nanny.  I have since tempered my expectations for my career—most VPs at my company are not much older than me, but again, they all either have no kids or a stay-at-home spouse.”

The final comment on the thread?

“F”

Indeed.  I mean, I know it means “follow,” but that it could be read that other way only made it all the more apropos.

 

This post originally appeared on Isaac & Isabel.

With a high-profile job in national security, I'm a champion for career families.  My husband and I met in Afghanistan, got married days after making it home, and have been building our family in Virginia ever since.  Five years and two children later, we know a lot about streamlining daily life! 

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This Innovative Pacifier Could Shorten NICU Stays for Preemies, Study Finds

by Shahrzad Warkentin

An incredible new tool known as the pacifier-activated lullaby (PAL) device could significantly shorten the need for preemies to stay in the NICU. And it’s all thanks to the power of music. Read on to see how this amazing innovation works.

The device, which plays parents’ recorded lullabies whenever a baby sucks on the pacifier is already being successfully test by researchers at UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles, California. Their study has shown that 70 percent of babies who use a PAL device improve their proficiency using a pacifier, which plays a role in developing feeding skills. This translates into shorter stays in the NICU after delivery.

“Babies born before 34 weeks gestation often struggle to feed orally because they have not yet developed the reflex to suck, breathe and swallow,’’ Shelly Frisco, a nurse in the NICU at UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital, says. “With the PAL device, babies learn to feed faster and gain weight because they want to keep hearing their parents’ voices.”

Music therapists help parents record themselves singing a lullaby of their choosing. The recorded song then plays when the infants suck on their pacifiers, stopping only when they stop sucking.

Jenna Bollard, an expressive arts therapies manager at UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital explains, “Giving parents a way to be part of their babies’ treatment helps them feel more bonded with their baby and gives them a very important role in their health and development.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

All photos: Courtesy of UCLA Mattel Children’s Hospital

 

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