ML Interest Tag: suffer

Why Kids Born in May Often Have Wanderlust (& Other Interesting Facts)

by Kipp Jarecke-Cheng

May’s birthstone is known as the “Jewel of Kings”

You know that April showers bring May flowers, but did you know that many people born in May consider themselves to be the happiest and healthiest people around?  Read on to find out why May-born babies are such a hearty lot. And if you’re expecting a May babe, check out this list of adorable names just for people born in May. 

1. People born in May consider themselves to be lucky.

According to a survey of nearly 30,000 participants, respondents were asked to rate how lucky they thought they were. The findings showed that people born in the summer are more likely to consider themselves lucky than those born in the winter. May-born respondents said they were the luckiest, while people born in November were the most pessimistic.

2. People born in May claim either the Taurus or Gemini zodiac sign.

If you have a birthday of April 20 – May 20, you were born under the sign of Taurus. If your May birthday is May 21 or after, you were born under the sign of Gemini.

3. May babies are driven to succeed.

Strong-willed and achievement-oriented people born in May under the sign of Taurus seem to possess an innate sixth sense that helps them navigate through life. Like their Taurus counterparts born in April, those born in May can be stubborn, but their critical, systematic ways of thinking help them get stuff done.

4. People born in May often have wanderlust.

Restless and curious, people born in May are always itching to explore the world. They often lead exhausting and busy lives that incorporate adventure and work, but they are the last to complain about their hectic lifestyles. For May-born people bitten by the travel bug, exploration isn’t simply a distraction, it’s a way of life.

5. People born in May are fun to be around. 

If you claim Gemini as your astrological sign, there’s a good chance you are chatty, enthusiastic, full of energy, and always looking to join the party. While this can be exhausting for some, everyone needs that go-go-go person in their lives.

6. May babies tend to be tinier than babies born in other months.

According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, babies born in May tend to be shorter, lighter, and have smaller heads, which scientists think is related to the amount of vitamin D the mother gets while pregnant.

7. The birthstone for May represents royalty, eloquence, and foresight. 

May’s birthstone, the emerald, is known as the “Jewel of Kings.” Beloved by royal figures throughout history, the most famous might be Cleopatra, who was said to shower this precious gem on visiting dignitaries. It was thought to reveal the truth and was used to ward off spells. People also thought, if worn, it would increase riches and allow the wearer to predict the future.

8. They share their birth month with plenty of famous people born in May.

There are quite a few celebrities born in May, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Robert Downey Jr., Adele, Cate Blanchett, Stevie Wonder, Ian McKellen, and Octavia Spencer.

Related: This Is Why September Babies Are More Successful, According to Science

 

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Is it Postpartum Depression or Just ‘Baby Blues’?

By Dr. Alan Lindemann

As the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) tells us, it’s not uncommon for women to experience feelings of sadness or even depression after giving birth, but how can you tell if what you’re going through is actually postpartum depression?

Let’s take a closer look at what so many women go through to help you better understand what you are experiencing, or may experience. And please, if you have any feelings of depression after giving birth, call your doctor right away so someone can monitor you and ensure your health and safety.

What Are “Baby Blues”?

The normal bouts of sadness that occur for 70–80% of women after giving birth are what the ACOG calls “baby blues.” The best way to think about this is to understand that your body and your way of life are both undergoing marked shifts during this period of time. This is all very normal, and very necessary.

Your body is adjusting physically (including hormonally) as you go from having your baby in the womb to caring for your baby out in the world. Growing a baby and lactating to feed a baby call on your body to perform different functions, so you can see that it is only natural that your body is undergoing some major changes.

This time after birth (and for as long as you are lactating) is certainly different from being pregnant, but it is also not back to your pre-pregnancy “normal”; it is its own new state of being, and you are adjusting to that.

During all this shifting and adjusting, it is natural for women to experience some initial sadness and difficulty caring for their newborn. According to the ACOG, these “baby blues” typically resolve on their own within a few weeks. However, if feelings of sadness or depression persist, you may be dealing with postpartum depression.

5 Signs You May Have Postpartum Depression

Many new mothers don’t even realize that they are depressed. That’s why it is a good idea to have a partner or other support person commit to checking in on you and watching for the signs of postpartum depression. If you do find that you are suffering from any of these signs or symptoms—particularly if you are several weeks past giving birth—seek medical attention as soon as possible. If you are unable to get an appointment with your physician, try your community hotlines for depression.

In the first year after birth, an estimated one in seven American women experience postpartum depression. As discussed above, “baby blues” affect up to 80% of women and can often last for a couple of weeks. If these feelings don’t resolve on their own, though, you may be facing postpartum depression. According to the ACOG, “baby blues” stretching out for 8–10 weeks after birth indicates the postpartum depression condition.

Here are some of the most common signs that you are likely suffering from postpartum depression:

1. Overwhelming feelings of sadness.
2. Feeling fatigued, like you can’t get anything done.
3. Feeling unmotivated to care for yourself or your baby.
4. Having trouble breastfeeding your baby.
5. Feelings of guilt for believing you’re not a good parent.

When postpartum depression is not addressed, new mothers sometimes deal with suicidal ideation and can become a very real suicide risk. Furthermore, when the depression continues to deepen from lack of treatment, the mother can enter the stage of postpartum psychosis. In this doubly dangerous state, the lives of both the mother and her children are at risk.

If you or someone you love shows signs of postpartum depression, contact their doctor right away to secure appropriate treatment. There is no shame in suffering from this condition. It is more common than you think. As common as it is, however, it must be attended to promptly so that mother, baby, and other children are safe.

If you are reading this prior to giving birth, touch base with your obstetrician now to establish a connection with their preferred psychiatric referral. If you have already given birth and are in need, call right away and be prepared to be connected with a counselor in case it takes some time to secure a psychiatric appointment.

The key here is twofold: awareness, then action. If pregnant women and their support people make themselves aware of the signs and necessary actions to address postpartum depression, mothers, fathers, and their children will be safe.

RELATED:
What You Need to Know about Postpartum
5 Ways Lockdown Is like Postpartum
Don’t Ignore These Signs of Postpartum Depression
 

Dr. Alan Lindemann
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

An obstetrician and maternal mortality expert, “Rural Doc” Alan Lindemann, M.D. teaches women and families how to create the outcomes they want for their own health and pregnancy. In nearly 40 years of practice, he has delivered around 6,000 babies and achieved a maternal mortality rate of zero! Visit LindemannMD.com

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This New App Uses AI to Help Your Child Become a Better Reader

by Erica Loop

Literacy leader Amira recently announced the launch of its brand-new app—Read with Amira. Backed by 20 years of research from Carnegie Mellon, the app uses artificial intelligence (AI) technology to help kiddos become better readers!

Targeted for children ages five through 10, Read with Amira provides real-time reading feeding that may boost a young child’s literacy level. If your kiddo is suffering from a school reading lag or just needs extra help with their literacy-based lessons, this app is a tech-friendly helper to explore.

photo courtesy of Amira

The app listens to your child as they read, checking for correct pronunciation. Read with Amira then provides real-time feedback, correcting your child when needed. Not only does the app help your child as they read, it provides you with detailed feedback on the correct number of words read per minute, what your child is reading and how many times each week they read.

Mark Angel, CEO and Co-Founder of Amira Learning, said in a press release, “Closing the literacy gap among children in the U.S. will increase academic engagement in school and at home for children.” Angel continued, “Amira is focusing on correcting early literacy issues by combining the science behind how young people learn to read and recent developments in AI to create a virtual reading scientist for every teacher and every student.”

Learn more about Read with Amira and get started with the app right here!

—Erica Loop

Featured photo: Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels

 

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Helping Our Children Cope with Crazy

By Heather Morris

Our house is in shambles.

Walls have been knocked down, studs revealed, old wiring uncovered. The mysterious pipe in the pantry, well, turns out that is a gas line. “We wondered about that,” I laugh with my contractors as we pivot to deal with the house’s secrets now laid bare.

We are renovating and adding on, squeezing our family of five (plus two pets) into an even smaller footprint for a time. A little over a year ago, we lounged in 2500 square feet; now, we are getting along just fine in about 1000. Though I’ll admit, I am quite grateful for in-person learning and my husband’s special dispensation to work in the office. Still, I marvel at the ability of humans to adapt. Perhaps we don’t need all that we think we need?

Our refrigerator is within reach of the person seated at the end of the dining table. “Pass the butter” has taken on a whole new meaning. Our main walkway involves squeezing between people hunched over their plastic bowls and spoons and the piano that is wedged under the window. Our cat thinks the new construction is his personal playground. Our dog has made friends with all of the specialty subcontractors, from the electricians to the framing crew.

All this discomfort, inconvenience, and mess makes me oddly excited. You see, I know what is coming in a few months. A more spacious, comfortable, well-planned home for our family, where we can welcome friends and neighbors. I find it shockingly easy to smile and laugh at the chaos and noise because I know what lies ahead.

Our children are surrounded by inconvenience. Their possessions are in storage. Two are sharing a room. No one, including myself, really knows where anything is right now. Plastic tarps are hanging everywhere, so we “zipper” through from one space to the next. We are crowded, cramped, crazy. Our life is under construction, and at times, it is difficult. Nothing is easy. But my husband and I continually remind them of the end goal—a new, shining, spacious home.

We are giving them hope. Reconstruction and demolition and rebuilding and renovation are hard work. None of those are comfortable to live through. I know…that’s what I’m living through now. This past year has been full of destruction and chaos, and it is impossible to see some shining goal at the end of all of this. But our home renovation has given my husband and me the opportunity to show our children that something good and lovely can come out of chaos.

There has been much talk of our children being “resilient” after this year. Perhaps. If we mean that they will be able to understand that life is hard. It is full of suffering and pain and the unpredictable. If we mean that we are not in control like we tend to think we are. If we mean that our choices still matter, that beauty can emerge from ashes, that there is hope.

Scientist by training, lover of books and writing and learning by nature. Wife to a talented husband, mom of three children. Proud to call the Rocket City home (Huntsville, Alabama). Pursuing my love of creative writing by writing about everything from school buses to the latest in pandemic schooling.

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These Are the Days Pregnancy Sickness Is Likely to Start, New Study Reveals

by Jennifer Swartvagher

Unfortunately for many women, pregnancy and nausea seem to go together. Now researchers from the University of Warwick have narrowed the time frame that pregnancy sickness will potentially start to just three days. This opens up the possibility for scientists to identify a biological cause for the condition.

Pregnancy

Nausea and vomiting in pregnancy was previously referred to as “morning sickness.” Previous research from the same team revealed that term was misleading, as sickness could occur at any time of day. The term “pregnancy sickness” is now considered more appropriate. 

Pregnancy sickness usually ends between 12 to 14 weeks of pregnancy. For some it can be severe, including what is known as hyperemesis gravidarum—when the symptoms continue throughout the pregnancy. In the past, the cause was seen as psychological (yeah, cue the eyerolls!) but this study shows further evidence that it is biological in nature and linked to a woman’s stage of pregnancy. 

Researchers from the Warwick Medical School and the Department of Statistics at the University of Warwick found that the time period in which a woman will likely experience pregnancy sickness can now be pinpointed to a specific three-day window. In other words, they can predict when you’re most likely to start feeling crummy! 

Pregnancy due dates are calculated based on the last day of the last menstrual period, but this study also has found that the date of ovulation is a more accurate starting point, thanks to fewer variables.

256 pregnant women kept daily symptom diaries to compare when their symptoms began, including recording the date of their last menstrual period as well as date of ovulation (determined by a urine test). Researchers compared the results and found that most women started getting “the sickness” 8 to 10 days after ovulation.

Lead author Professor Roger Gadsby of Warwick Medical School said, “For researchers it narrows our focus in terms of where we look for the cause. If we know that symptoms occur in a very narrow window 8-10 days after ovulation, researchers can concentrate their efforts on that particular stage of development to find the cause of the condition, both anatomically and biochemically. In the past, women suffering with nausea and vomiting in pregnancy have had their symptoms trivialised and overlooked because it was thought there was a psychological basis for the symptoms. This research further reinforces that nothing could be further from the truth, that this is a biological problem related to the development of the early fetus.”

(Sing it, Roger!)

The research also discovered that 94% of women do experience some form of pregnancy sickness, a rate much higher than previously.

Professor Roger Gadsby adds, “What we’ve shown is that more people get symptoms of pregnancy sickness than has ever been shown before, and one of the reasons for that is that this research has picked up mild early symptoms that tend to fade by 7-8 weeks. In other studies those symptoms would have faded by the time the research started.”

Next up? What the heck do you do about it?

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Anastasiia Chepinska on Unsplash 

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The Unexpected Gift We Received This Year

By Elizabeth North

Photo: Miranda Smith

It’s nearly the new year. As the house sleeps quietly, I have taken time to sit and reflect. This year has been a lot. I won’t lie, we have had more than our fair share—as everyone else has, but there has been beauty. Sometimes, when barely treading water or praying to be able to come up for air, we forget. We forget there is beauty.

When the pandemic began and we had our “two week break” from school, I was up for anything but after a broken collar bone, numerous tries to climb out a window and a child shaving her head, I realized I needed help. More help.

Our daughter has been diagnosed with autism since she was just two years old. It’s been a journey. From not having an insurance plan that covered therapy to a fight to obtain it, and then realizing the insurance I had didn’t mean we would have the therapy right for us.

For years, since we had the therapies covered, we have tried to find a company that would work, for our daughter most importantly and for our family. We had found great therapists but for one reason or another, they never worked out.

Enter COVID.

Enter my need for help.

Enter Miranda.

Yes, Applied Behavior Analysis Therapy is controversial but for us, its right and the greatest gift we have been given this year is this young woman, trained in social work, who is with us, daily.

In July when we first onboarded with the company, I was concerned. The first therapist left without returning—if she could have run while screaming she would have. We know, our daughter is a lot. She’s not anything like any BCBA or ABA Therapist has ever seen but she’s ours and she’s incredible.

Finally, the company found what they felt was a perfect fit. Enter, Miranda. They were right. She is perfect. Since July, almost every day, Miranda makes the hour-long commute to love our daughter.

Yes, there is work. Yes, there are challenges. Yes, she pushes her but in four short months, we have seen so much growth. We have not all fallen for Miranda but we have seen Miranda give us the greatest gift we could ever receive, glimpses of the daughter we once knew, the one we once had. One that interacts, one that laughs, one that plays and one that is beginning to understand more and more each day.

We could all focus on what wasn’t in 2020. We could focus on the loss, the pain, the suffering. It’s been here. For all of us. However, I won’t. I will choose to see the gift of 2020.

Dear Miss Miranda, you have made our world the best it could have been this year. We truly are grateful to you.

This post originally appeared on www.messyblessymomma.com.

I'm a mom of many who is living her best life navigating a busy world full of ups and downs. Managing five kids and one with additional needs I enjoy learning through living and sharing what I know. I can't wait to share our Messy World with you.

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A Different Kind of Grief

By Courtney Mills

I heard it once said that those of us with special needs children suffer a loss. But when we first hear about our child’s diagnosis, it often at times, stays festered up inside. Keeping us full of denial and not wanting to believe it is true. We aren’t physically suffering a loss. We suffer the loss of a dream we had. We have missed expectations and missed experiences. 

This is not how it was supposed to be. When bringing a child into our family we imagine what their first day of school will look like. Not, will my son ever speak? By this I mean will he be able to verbally communicate what is going on? You look forward to picking your child up on the first day of school and asking them how their day went. For the past few years of my son attending a developmental preschool, that is a question I have been unable to ask him. I have to rely on his classroom teacher to write it down. I have to rely on his therapists to tell me what they worked on in therapy and how well he did or what issues they had. This is not what it looked liked as I dreamed about my child’s future during pregnancy.

You look forward to activities you can do as a family. If we don’t learn to accept that we are suffering a loss and integrate it into our lives, we will just continue to get knocked down over and over. 

Forget about date nights with your significant other because your life turns into revolving around your child. At least for my family, it has. Or worse yet, trying to visit another family or attend holiday celebrations. It’s hard, as much as we try to explain to our family what our son can and cannot handle, they just don’t understand. Is it their fault? Sometimes I feel yes, but then sometimes I remember they don’t live the life I do. They don’t see it on a daily basis to understand what we try to explain. Still, though, more often than not, it saddens me. 

What about a simple trip to the store? Up till a few weeks ago, we hadn’t been to a store as a family in months. The experiences of taking your child to the store to get a toy? I can count on one hand how many times we have been able to attempt this. Most end with my husband taking our son out to the car while I get what is needed.

I feel like, in a way, we don’t just try to meet our child’s needs but also end up trying to meet their wants. 

I grieve the fact that playdates are not something that will probably happen. I joined a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group where we live, trying to socialize. Make fellow mom friends and allowing Graham social interaction with other kids. Unfortunately, it was not anything like what I imagined. I attended one play date which consisted of me chasing Graham around. I didn’t get to interact much with the other moms and it broke my heart to see my son not socialize with other children. All he wanted to do was run. 

Our family outings are rare unless it’s for a doctor’s appointment and then we try to make a day of it. The only day of the week where my husband doesn’t have to go to work, Graham doesn’t go to school, or have therapy is Sundays. I grieve the loss of just our family time, just us three. I struggled with deciding to put Graham in so much therapy at such a young age. I mean who doesn’t want their child to have time to just be a kid? 

We started early intervention services at 18 months old. He started going to a developmental preschool Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. He receives speech, occupational, and for a year he received physical therapy. But when we started having more issues with his behavior from the frustration of not being able to communicate, we had to look into additional therapy. So we applied for home ABA therapy and after a 6-month wait, we now do 20 hrs a week of that as well. 

Did I ever imagine grieving over things lost with raising an autistic son? Of course not, I imagined a life full of outings, conversations, and family gatherings. We don’t just stop or give up. But things look different for us.

This post originally appeared on Guiding Graham’s Way.

I'm a wife and a mom. I have a three year old son. I spend my time advocating for special needs children, bringing awareness and acceptance to all. My son was diagnosed with severe autism at age two. He is my life. 

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Give Your Kids an Experience This Christmas, Not Toys! (Here’s Why)

By Missy Woodruff

Over two thousand years ago the Buddha observed that “cravings” were the source of most of our suffering. (And he was pretty wise… like a Buddha, in fact!)

Basically, cravings cause us to chase after pleasure in material things, but this habit always ends in frustration and suffering, as the happiness they offer is fleeting and ungraspable.

I was recently reminded of this as we loaded a mini-van full of toys to donate to the Salvation Army in a struggle to declutter.

These toys were an archive of must-have toys from Christmases past, and most didn’t get much love after the New Year.

In fact, our kids had a bad habit of getting a “pleasure-hangover” after the last toy was opened on Christmas morning. Their moods seemed to sink after the cravings and anticipation turned into discontent, often before we could clean up the wrapping paper.

So, after a number of these unsatisfying Christmases, we got wiser. We stopped spending hundreds of dollars on “things,” and don’t even participate in the commercial bacchanal that is “Black Friday.” (ugh!) 

So, what do we do instead? 

Now we get the kids an experience

Our big gift to the kids usually centers around an event, and includes a night in a hotel. Since we’re a train ride from NYC, there’s no shortage of options for family travel, but certainly anywhere fun and exciting will do.

For the last two Christmases we’ve been on a Hamilton (the Musical) kick, so trips to Williamsburg and Philadelphia were a lot of fun. One year it was a long-weekend trip to Florida after we found cheap, last-minute airfare.

This year? Not sure yet. Maybe (half-price) tickets to Aladdin on Broadway, and a night in the city?

We usually make a photo book of our annual adventure, so that’s fun to bring back the memories years later.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that we’re all so much happier not dumping “stuff” on each other on Christmas day. We all feel lighter, and there’s a lot less anxiety.

The True Meaning of Christmas

“Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about…”

Yes, I think Linus was onto something back in 1965.

We’ve all heard that “money can’t buy happiness,” but we’re also told ad nauseam every day that it can.

How? Well, in the form of advertising and social media, of course.

In fact, a recent study shows that we can be bombarded with ads of some sort up to 5,000 times a day. This exposure to advertising is like steroids for our cravings, and that is really bad.

Ugh! If he weren’t so enlightened, Buddha would be so depressed.

Proof that Toys Don’t Buy Happiness (Ah, hah!) 

I’m happy to give you proof that “things” don’t equal happiness. Wrap your brain around this statistic:

You’d think that as the richest country with the most toys, we’d at least be on the list of the 10 happiest countries, but we’re not.

However, we do top the charts in anxiety and obesity, and debt, so maybe we want to stop trying to satisfy our cravings with “things.” 

This obsession with consumption seems to be a human sickness, maybe leftover from our ancient hunter-gatherer DNA? Kind of makes you think that the Buddha was right all along.

Here’s a small way to fight back…

Give An Experience this Christmas!

So, I hope that you consider lightening up on the toys this Christmas. Maybe a Broadway show isn’t in your budget this year, but no problem; it’s the quality time together that matters. 

If you have any ideas of non-material gift substitutes, leave a comment below!

I'm Missy, a mother of three and a middle school drama teacher at a private school. I'm obsessed with my Vizsla (dog), traveling, and the musical Hamilton. I also enjoy writing and sharing fun parenting stories, which is what brought me here.

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Hilaria & Alec Baldwin Welcome Fifth Child Together

by Jennifer Swartvagher

It’s a boy! Last night Hilaria and Alec Baldwin welcomed their fifth child after previously suffering two miscarriages within a year. Hilaria shared the good news on Instagram. 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

We had a baby last night. He is perfect and we couldn’t be happier 🌟. Stay tuned for a name🤍

A post shared by Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (@hilariabaldwin) on

“We had a baby last night,” the new mom captioned her post. “He is perfect and we couldn’t be happier. Stay tuned for a name.”

The couple are also parents to daughter Carmen, and sons Rafael, Leonardo and Romeo. Alec Baldwin is also the father to daughter Ireland with his ex-wife Kim Bassinger.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: lev radin via Shutterstock

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