Disciplining kids of all ages can be tricky. We’ve all been in the heat of the moment when frustrations are high, and the default impulse to yell at or shame a misbehaving child is difficult to resist. According to experts, these tactics are minimally effective in the short term and entirely ineffective in the long term. “Children aren’t misbehaving because they are bad,” says Carole Kramer Arsenault, CEO of Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny. “They are trying to learn, and how we respond will have a huge impact on their development.”

Instead of losing your cool, engaging in positive discipline practices can help to more effectively manage unwanted or inappropriate behavior and allow little ones to genuinely learn and understand lessons about the consequences of their behavior. We consulted parenting experts for practical advice to help kids and parents weather the storms of tantrums, misbehaving, and acting out—scroll down to see 10 simple and effective disciplinary phrases to try the next time you need to put your foot down.

1. “Let’s talk about it calmly.” Defusing and de-escalating a tense situation is often the first order of business when disciplining a child. “Parents and kids are stressed like never before,” says Kramer Arsenault. “When you think back to how parents have traditionally responded to [their kids’] big emotions, it was often to react with similarly big emotions. Instead, our mindset about disciplining children needs to shift.” As an author, registered nurse, certified parenting coach, and mother of three, Kramer Arsenault said that rather than disciplining as punishment, parents should use these as teachable moments, starting from a calm place.

2. “Stop. Keep your hands to yourself.” In a circumstance where a child’s behavior may be hurting others, such as biting or hitting, Kramer Arsenault said it’s essential for parents to provide clarity in their directions to ensure parent and child are on the same page. “Instead of saying ‘You know you should keep your hands to yourself, right?’ it’s better to say it as a statement rather than ask a question.” Be firm and direct.

3. “No means no.” Being kind but firm is important to establish boundaries for a child. According to Dr. Stephen Bavolek, author of Nurturing Parenting Programs, setting boundaries and expectations for children helps build important life skills, including patience, problem solving, responsibility, and self-discipline. “The purpose of family rules is for parents and children to establish consistent guidelines that will help everyone know what is and isn’t expected of them,” said Bavolek.

dad using positive discipline on his daughter
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4. “Try to do better.” Acknowledging that there is an opportunity to do better is important for a child’s growth. Maureen Healey, child development expert and author of “The Emotionally Healthy Child,” says, “When we’re upset, we may scream or slam doors, but moving from reactivity to responsiveness is the path to positive emotional health.” Encouraging children to catch themselves and make different, better choices is an important life lesson.

5. “Consider the consequences.” Trying to reason with an upset child can seem like a Sisyphean task, but guiding a child to understand the consequences of her actions can have a lasting impact. “Having clear expectations is very important,” says Kramer Arsenault. “But sharing the consequences of actions is just as important, too.”

6. “Let’s take some deep breaths together.” Tense situations between parent and child sometimes warrant time outs for both parties to allow the heated moment to pass. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, effective discipline to raise healthy children does not include any form of corporal punishment. Researchers have linked corporal punishment to an increased risk of negative behavioral, cognitive, psychosocial, and emotional outcomes for children. 

7. “Can I find a special toy for you?” If a child is fighting over a toy with another child, redirecting their attention and refocusing on something else can alleviate the tension. Children sometimes misbehave because they are hungry, bored, or don’t know any better. Experts said encouraging something new or different to focus on is a useful reframing and disciplining tactic.

 

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8. “It’s OK to be upset.”  Permitting children to experience their feelings is important to developing their sense of self and security. “Kids have a lot of emotions and outbursts, and sometimes they don’t understand why,” says Kramer Arsenault. “Just explaining and teaching them that it’s OK to feel upset is an important lesson.”

9. “Can you choose a better word to use?” Talking back or potty talk can be alarming. For example, parents may experience their potty-training kid suddenly expressing themselves with colorful (and inappropriate) language like “poopy-head.” Fortunately, the American Academy of Pediatrics assures that this is a normal developmental stage, and parents should avoid overreacting or making light of unwanted language. Instead, encourage problem solving and finding better, more appropriate language.

10. Sometimes, silence is golden. While there are serious misbehaviors that should never be ignored—including aggression or anything that puts a child or others in harm’s way—selectively ignoring relatively minor, negative attention-seeking actions, such as whining, temper tantrums, and talking back, may help to curtail those problematic behaviors in children. According to research, positive reinforcement through praise and support, with consistency and clarity, results in greater emotional stability and health of children.

When words fail, Boston Baby Nurse & Nanny’s Carole Kramer Arsenault suggested three simple reminders: 

  1. Parents need to better educate themselves to appropriate, positive disciplining.
  2. Parents can build trust with their children through consistency and clarity.
  3. Lastly, and most importantly, parents should model the behavior they want from their children.

Toddlers are in that special (mostly exciting) stage between babyhood and preschool that can leave parents wondering… what in the world is happening here?! How did we go from zero to 60 over the state of a banana? They’re called the terrible twos for a reason, right? Sometimes they lose it over the color of a sippy cup or because the dog looked at them funny. Whatever the reason your kid is about to pass the point of no return, you’ve got precious moments to spare. But there’s hope on the horizon—simple calming phrases that have the power to avert tantrums and bring kids back to center.

The next time you see it coming, take one of these phrases out for a spin. There are even a few great tips from Dr. Candice Jones, a board-certified pediatrician practicing in Orlando, Florida, to help you put your best parent-foot forward.

1. “You have a choice.”

When it comes to calming phrases, this is a gimme for any toddler parent. Once children have some vocabulary down, you can start giving them options. This doesn’t mean your home becomes a toddler free-for-all. Instead, offer your kiddo reasonable choices that empower them and encourage problem-solving skills to head off predictable tantrums looming on the horizon.

For example, when you’re rushed to get out the door in the morning, ask your toddler if they’d like to wear their tennis shoes or rain boots. When it’s time to get ready for bed, let them choose between the car pajamas and the star pajamas. Limiting their choices, while still giving them control, “satisfies the need for some independence,” according to Dr. Jones. She also suggests following it up with an affirmation such as, “Rain boots? Smart choice, because today, it’s raining!”

2. “Please stop, because…”

If your toddler is making a poor choice (which, yep, is going to happen a lot), of course, you want to stop the behavior, especially if it’s dangerous to themselves or someone else. However, it’s ok to offer a short explanation of why. You’re treating your child as the human they are, not a robot who should obey your every command without understanding your reasoning, especially as they get older. For example, “Please don’t hit your brother. Hitting hurts.” Use short phrases and specific, toddler-understandable language. Dr. Jones shares that giving your child a reason to stop a behavior can help them make better choices in the future.

3. “I understand you feel…”

When your child makes a poor choice, remember that it’s more than likely a typical toddler behavior. Tantrums, physical responses (throwing, hitting, etc.), and big emotions that result in zero-to-60 emotional reactions are very normal. Offer empathy for their feelings, first and foremost, even if your child was in the wrong. Empathy goes a long way in building a connection with your child so that they’re best able to then receive whatever correction is necessary. Your child will likely not develop empathy until they are closer to four, but you can model it now. Plus, correction is more effective when you offer it with “a spoonful of connection,” Dr. Jones shares.

4. “I’m listening…”

There’s something to be said about the Dr. Frasier Crane approach to parenting. Offering an empathetic ear to your toddler is an effective way to connect and give them space to work through those big feelings before they escalate. It’s especially effective when you get down on their level, name their feeling (as suggested above), and prompt them to tell you about it. It may take a minute, but it’s crazy cool to see the way anger transforms into sadness with this simple phrase.

5. “Let’s play together.”

It’s one thing to tell kids of any age any sort of directions, but it’s another to practice it. Role-play with your toddler to help them figure out frustrating or confusing situations that can cause meltdowns. Use dolls, action figures, or even family members to act out a familiar scenario—and then act out the wrong way (with sad faces) and then the right way (happy faces, high-fives, etc.). When you’re done, tell your child, “We worked together to solve a problem! Yay!”

Always do this when your child is regulated; don’t try to teach a lesson in the heat of the moment. If you missed that before-the-storm window, you can always tack this one on at the end when your kiddo has reached the other side.

6. “Can I give you a hug?”

When we see our little one getting ready to erupt, it’s only natural to want to run the other way. But sometimes when you lean in and offer comfort rather than a disappointed look, it’s just what kids need to regulate those overwhelming emotions and calm down. Just remember, it’s important to model consent, even when diffusing your ticking time bomb. And don’t be surprised if you get turned down; not all kids want comfort when they’re working through things. But the moment you get the green light, go for it.

7. “I’m here when you need me.”

What could be more reassuring to your overwhelmed toddler than this simple phrase? Letting them know you’re here for them is an easy way to support them and model that their feelings are not only valid, but they’re also pretty typical. Plus, there are variations of this one you can pull out depending on the situation. “How can I help?” and “Can I show you another way?” both fall into this category.

8. “Let’s take a deep breath.”

Of all the calming phrases on our list, this one comes with its own song, thanks to Daniel Tiger. Sure, they’ve heard this one a time or two, but kids can always count on deep breathing to turn a not-so-great situation around. Trust us, it’s science. Taking a deep breath activates the parasympathetic nervous system, increases oxygen in your bloodstream, and stimulates relaxation. In short, it helps kids find equilibrium. The next time your toddler’s train is about the derail, help them “take a deep breath and count to four.” You can also encourage them to blow out a candle (where your finger is the candle) if they need something to focus on.

All of these phrases that help toddlers calm down show your kiddo that you love them and that you’re here for them, no matter what they’re feeling (remember, tantrums are a typical and important stage of their development). A present, responsive parent is a loving parent. By showing up, you’re establishing an expectation that you’ll always be there for them, through thick and thin.

This SNL Macy’s Ad parody should be required yearly holiday viewing

You’re not the only parent dreading holiday outfit season—and Saturday Night Live is here to prove it. In this classic short, which should be required viewing by moms and dads every year, SNL parodies a Macy’s Christmas clothing sale commercial, revealing what everyone really thinks about those not-so-comfy kids’ clothes—and maybe about their spouses, too. This one’s NSFK (Not Safe for Kids) so watch it when you’ve got 2 minutes to yourself. LOL.

While you’re at it, keep the SNL hits coming with viewings of “I Got a Robe,” the forever mom holiday anthem, and the “Best Christmas Ever” skit, in which Matt Damon and Cecily Strong flashback to the hot mess that was their supposedly “perfect” and “magical” day.

After opening with men’s blazers and women’s cashmere sweaters, the faux ad kicks up the comedy as the voiceover says, “And for your little ones, Macy’s has the best of fashions that will have them saying…” Here’s where the cute kiddos go full-on into pure Christmas-time tantrums. One little girl stomps up and down, shouting, “It’s too hot!” A boy snarks, “It itches,” and a baby—well, the half-dressed tot just cries (how we feel this in our bones).

The mock-mercial previews just about every rewarding experience that awaits you, including, “wrestling your wiggly little monster into winter clothes” and “Merino sweaters that won’t fit over his head.” The parody goes on to advertise “hard, shiny shoes that hurt,” “all holiday rompers she’ll never get off in time,” “kids’ jackets so big and thick, they won’t fit in their car seats anymore,” “snow boots that are so hard to put on it will strain your marriage,” and, of course, “shirts with the wrong Frozen princess.”

If you’re in the heat of the holiday hustle, we suggest that you take a break and watch this so you can laugh-cry about the fun, festive tradition.

These superfoods can make life a whole lot smoother for kids who just can’t go

Childhood constipation may not get the same air time as sleep regressions or toddler tantrums, but if you’re living with an uncomfortable munchkin whose bowels just won’t move, it’s probably all you can think about. Luckily, there are ingredients in our kitchens that have poop-pushing power and can easily be incorporated into our littles’ diets. As a dietitian, I turn to these delicious ingredients—fiber-rich fruits, seeds, and beans—to offer gentle yet effective constipation relief for kids struggling to use the bathroom.

Before we dive in, remember that boosting your kids’ fiber should be done slowly to avoid overloading their digestive system and causing painful blowouts or embarrassing accidents. Another tip: when you double down on fiber be sure to up their water game, too. This not only prevents dehydration, another cause of constipation, but it helps avoid any additional discomfort.

With that in mind, here are the six problem-solving foods that’ll help get things moving.

1. Prunes

If your kiddo is struggling with their bathroom routine, consider giving prunes a try. Famous for their natural laxative effect, prunes contain sorbitol, which helps pull water into the gut to keep things flowing. Sprinkle chopped prunes on yogurt or oatmeal, blend them into smoothies, or whip up a quick-cooking prune compote or jam to spread on toast. Don’t forget that pouches of prune purée can be an easy way to squeeze in a little fiber boost during travel season or when you’re on the go!

2. Chia Seeds

Chia seeds are your kids’ trusted digestive ally, boasting 8 grams of fiber in just 2 tbsp. Like prunes, these tiny seeds work their magic by hydrating the digestive tract, making number-twos a breeze. Chia seeds can easily be incorporated into your kids’ diet by baking them into muffins or pancakes, mixing them with breadcrumbs to make a coating for schnitzel, whipping up a delicious chocolate chia pudding, or sprinkling them on warm or cold cereals (mix them with colorful sprinkles to make them more exciting if you have to!).

3. Beans

Yes, beans may make you toot, but that’s exactly because they’re a fiber powerhouse, loaded with vitamins, minerals, and plant-based protein to offer some serious constipation relief for kids. From chickpeas to black, cannellini, and kidney beans, the bean family is super versatile. Bake black beans into brownies, blend chickpeas into hummus, or stuff kidney beans into tacos and burritos. Here’s another helpful tip: Before serving canned beans, give them a thorough rinse under water. This not only removes excess salt but it also washes away some of the gel-like starches that may cause gas.

Related: 5 Ways to Pack More Energy Into Your Kid’s Lunch

4. Ground Flaxseed

This little seed is a gentle champion, helping your tot tackle constipation thanks to its soluble fiber, which softens poo and makes it easier to pass. Opt for ground flaxseed over whole flaxseed as it’s easier for little tummies to digest and works even better when they’re backed up. You can get creative and use ground flaxseed as a substitute for breadcrumbs in meatballs or meatloaf, bake it into cookies, or use it as an egg replacement in baked goods.

5. Pears

Pears are a tasty, sweet choice for kids dealing with bathroom struggles, thanks to their fiber and sorbitol content. You can easily incorporate them into your kid’s meals by packing pear slices in their lunchbox, adding chopped pears to yogurt (and a dash of cinnamon for extra yum!), or baking them with coconut oil and blending up a delicious pear sauce.

6. Apples

If your kiddo is having a tough time in the bathroom, you’re in luck because apples offer a double dose of fiber. There’s insoluble fiber from the skin and soluble fiber from the flesh, making them an excellent choice when longing for trips to the loo. And let’s be real, have you ever met a kid who doesn’t adore apples? You can do so much with them: bake them into tasty oatmeal crisps, shred them into apple fritters, or serve apple slices with nut butter for dipping.

The best local toy stores in the Bay Area to shop for one-of-a-kind toys, books, decor, clothing, and more

Who doesn’t love to shop local, especially during the holidays? What sets these small local businesses apart from big box chains is that everything that goes into the shop is thoughtfully selected, and more times than not, includes hard-to-find or toys and gifts you may have never seen before. This holiday season, check out some of the best toy stores in San Francisco and give a gift that is not only more meaningful, but also helps support your local community in the process.

 

The Best San Francisco Toy Stores

1. Mapamundi Kids

Mapamundi Kids is a boutique bursting with coolness and creativity. The colorful, light-filled shop is stocked with books, toys, clothes, and accessories from around the world for lucky kids and their design-minded parents. And as the owners state on their website, "We are designers, makers, shopkeepers, neighbors, citizens of the world and most importantly parents." And in true SF fashion, the toys are organic, sustainable, and fair-trade when they can be. 

1306 Castro St.
San Francisco
Online: mapamundikids.com

2. Tantrum

Tantrum offers a unique carnival-themed shopping experience from books and clothes to toys with a vintage slant. You'll spend hours browsing their brilliantly curated selection of local artists as well as hard-to-find European brands. You might find yourself walking out with a little something for yourself and your little one. 

248 Clement St.
San Francisco

Mill Valley Lumber Yard
129 Miller Ave Suite 101-B 
Mill Valley
Online: shoptantrum.com

3. Jeffrey's Toys

What began as a Five & Dime store in 1938, has blossomed into the oldest toy store in San Francisco. Jeffrey’s Toys has been a family-run business for over 60 years. Conveniently located off of Maiden Lane pop in here to find that that LEGO set you’ve been looking for all over town. Pro Tip: For any Stan Lee fans out there, bring your comic-book-obsessed child to relish the "comic corner."

45 Kearny St.
San Francisco
Online: jeffreys.toys

The Best Toy Stores in the East Bay

4. Mr. Mopps

Opened in 1962, this longtime institution is known and beloved all over the Bay Area. The owners boast that they are a unique toy store that does not carry TV or movie-licensed products, but instead tries to remain more old school. Mr. Mopps is a truly magical place—filled to the brim with toys, stickers, books, every stuffed animal of the under the sun, and even party supplies. Pro Tip: Voracious readers can pick up more books just four doors down at Mr. Mopps' annex bookstore.

1405 Martin Luther King Dr.
Berkeley
Online: moppstoys.com

5. Montclair Toyhouse

Nestled in the cute little neighborhood of Montclair is the oldest family-owned toy store in the East Bay. Since 1969, they’ve been showcasing their exotic plush toys plus free gift wrapping to win over the young and younger at heart patrons. MonclairToyhouse prides itself on its extensive selection of classic and current toys, and the staff is always warm and welcoming. Bonus: they offer free gift wrapping and free assembly.

6115 La Salle Ave.
Oakland
Online: montclairtoyhouse.com

6. Toy Safari

Located in Alameda, Toy Safari is a paradise for the whole family. Besides offering the very latest and greatest, Toy Safari also buys and sells toys and collectibles. The back of the store is a stroll down memory lane with displays of Transformers, LEGO bricks, and other 90s favorites. You might be tempted to finally complete your collection of action figures. Family-run for over 25 years, this is a must-shop kind of place. 

Good to Know: They also buy and trade new, used, and vintage toys—a great way to recycle toys in great shape.

1410 Park St.
Alameda
Online: toysafaritoys.com

The Best Toy Stores in the Peninsula & South Bay

7. Cheeky Monkeys

This toy store has been bringing joy to the little ones, winning awards and supporting the community of Menlo Park since 1999. From bath toys to school supplies, travel toys, collectibles and little critters, there isn’t much more a kiddo could wish for here. If Menlo Park feels too far, check out their website, which also has an impressive selection.

640 Santa Cruz Ave.
Menlo Park

173 Main St
Los Altos

8. Wooden Horse

When owner Sloan was a little kid, she used to run through the aisles of the original Wooden Horse in Old Town Los Gatos, wishing she could buy the whole store. Her wish came true when she and her husband decided to do just that and now they run their shop with love and care for every kid that crosses their threshold. They even host free workshops for parents, teachers, and students to learn about the value of play. Check out their extensive collection online for the holiday season.

796 Blossom Hill Rd.
Los Gatos
Online: woodenhorsetoys.com

The Best Toy Stores in Marin & North Bay

9. Five Little Monkeys

Bring all of your monkeys to this sweet little toy store in the Corte Madera outdoor shopping mall. They have everything from LEGOs to Bruder to Fat Brain to the ever-popular Melissa and Doug. Pro tip: Still need to let the wiggles out? There is a play area in the shopping courtyard.

131 Corte Madera Town Center
Corte Madera
Online: 5littlemonkeys.com

10. A Child's Delight

Since 1994, this toy store has been bringing smiles to children’s faces with its wonderful collection of toys, games, books, puzzles, or anything else their hearts desire. Known for their personable customer service and for having lots of toys out for the kiddies to try before you buy, if you run out of time, or your kids lose interest too soon, fret not, they have an extensive website to shop from. Free gift wrapping is available on all orders. 

105 Corte Madera Town Center
Corte Madera
Online: achildsdelight.com

 

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Contact your state elections office or just ask a friendly poll worker about rules and limitations on bringing your children along with you to the voting booth

Election Day is almost here and…well, maybe you have a preschooler, toddler, or newborn in tow. Now what? Um, go ahead and bring your kid with you to vote! Yep, that’s right. Take your pint-sized politician (in the future sense, of course) into the booth.

Many parents wonder if they’re legally allowed to bring their children with them into the voting booth. Even though this civic duty is a highly private one, the government allows minor children to accompany their voting parents in every state. That said, some states have their own laws setting maximum ages for kids who can come into the voting booth.

can you take your kids into the voting booth
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Related: How to Steer Kids Through a Divisive Political Season

Don’t worry, your kindergarten kiddo can still go with you. States that do have age restrictions have set limits that are well into the teenage years. But keep in mind that each state has different rules, so ask questions and be prepared. In Virginia, for example, only children 15 years old and younger are allowed in the booths, according to NBC News. The same goes for Connecticut. But in California and other states, parents can bring along any minor under the age of 18.

If you’re not sure what the legal maximum age for a child accompanying a parent into a voting booth is, just ask. Call your state’s elections office before you go, or just ask the helpful friendly faces at your local polling place when you arrive. Go in knowing that every. single. state. in the country allows parents to bring their minor children into the voting booth with them, so if a poll worker turns you and your child away, remind them of their state’s laws not only dictating voting booth rules, but also voter suppression.

Along with age restrictions, some states also have total child maximums. Depending on your state, the law may limit the number of kids you bring into the booth to one or two. Again, always ask ahead of time. If you have three kids and your state only allows two, consider setting up an Election Day babysitting collective in your community or bring a friend with you to vote.

Related: Rock the Vote! Election Day Games for the Kids

Related: Things to Do with Your Family Instead of Talking Politics

Okay, so what happens if your toddler throws a tantrum while you’re waiting in line to vote? Disrupting the voting process is a no-no. If your child’s not-so-pleasant behavior is impeding others from voting, distracting them, or causing problems for the other voters, polling place helpers could ask you to leave. Hey, you can go back to vote later on—after the babysitter comes.

So here’s the big question, “Why should you bring your kids with you to vote?” Taking your kids into the voting booth gives them a chance to see democracy in action and encourages them to think critically about what’s in the news. According to a study by the University of Chicago, nearly half of young people aged 15 to 25 get news at least once a week from family and friends via Twitter or Facebook. And it can be difficult to tell fact from fiction. One of the study’s conclusions is: “Youth must learn how to judge the credibility of online information and how to find divergent views on varied issues.”

There’s no reason to wait until they’re 18 (and of legal voting age) to start talking about their civic rights and responsibilities. Going into the voting booth with mom or dad makes our country’s political process concrete and tangible for them, helping your young child to better understand it.

There you go—kids plus voting is a win-win situation. Happy voting!

with additional reporting from Erica Loop

Sharenting may have long-term effects on kids long after the pictures are posted

In 2023, most children have a digital footprint before they are even born. While sharing images online can be a way to show your child’s milestones with distant relatives and friends, especially in light of the pandemic and travel plans being halted, there’s a difference between sharing and oversharing. The “Sharenting” (parents oversharing on social media) trend is still on the rise but many parents are starting to reconsider where and how often they share images of their kids online.

So, what should you think about before posting pics of your kiddos on social media? Experts have weighed in on everything from personal privacy to online safety; keep reading to find out what they had to say.

Click here to save this list on Pinterest.

Think Twice Before Posting Embarrassing Photos

While you might think your toddler having a tantrum or your tween misbehaving is so hilarious that you have to share it on social media, putting anything online leaves a permanent trail that will follow your kids for the rest of their lives. "Not only is this kind of oversharing disrespectful to your child, but you should also consider how these types of images or videos will be perceived by others, and the impact it could have on your kid when he/she is older," says parenting expert and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Dr. Laura Markham. If it's on the internet, as well as the possibility of humiliating them later in life, there's a chance it could be seen by school bullies, college admissions officers, and future employers. Next time, ask yourself how you would feel if it was you in the photo instead.

Consider the Message You Are Giving Your Kids

As parents, we are constantly telling our kids about the risks of using social media and teaching them about online safety. But, we then ignore our own advice when posting photos of them. "It's our job to teach and model online literacy and safety," says Dr. Markham. "When children grow up routinely seeing photos of themselves online, they think it's the norm. We're inadvertently teaching them that they have no privacy and no control over their online image."

Related: “Sharenting” Could Have Damaging Effects on Your Kids

mom and newborn baby
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Be Mindful of Giving Away Personal Information

According to a UK study by Parent Zone and Nominet, the average parents share almost 1,500 photos of their kids online before their 5th birthday. Many parents announce the birth of their babies all over social media, while some go one step further and hashtag their kids' names or even set up Instagram accounts for their little darlings before they can even talk. While it's kinda cute, all someone needs is a name, date of birth, and address, which they can get using a geotagged photo, and this can put youngsters at risk of identity theft and digital kidnapping: when someone uses photos and details of someone else's kids and pretends they are their own. According to a national internet safety expert, Katie Greer, if your kids are searchable, anyone can find out anything about them. "To maximize the online safety of your child, limit the information you share about them," she says.

Avoid Posting Photos of Your Kids in the Nude

That photo of your little angels in the bath, running around the yard in the nude, or even in their underwear might be adorable to you, but once you post it, you no longer have control over it, and anyone can do what they want with it. "There is a chance this kind of photo could end up in unintended hands. Even using seemingly harmless hashtags like #pottytraining or #bathtime can also attract the attention of the wrong people," says Katie Greer. "Your kids' online safety is paramount, so to keep things simple, keep their clothes on."

when it comes to "sharenting" be careful not to share your location
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Be Wary of Revealing Locations and Routines

It's surprisingly easy to track people using the information you can get from photos posted online. To protect your kids from potentially being discovered by child predators, Justin Lavelle, a leading expert on online safety and scam prevention and Chief Communications Officer with beenverified.com recommends turning off geotagging and location services and never posting details about where you live, including your address. "Avoid tagging the locations of places you and/or your children may be at frequently and crop out backgrounds with recognizable landmarks. First day of school? Take a picture at home with them in their new backpack, not in front of the school building with the name clearly visible," he says. "Do not advertise their routines and wait a few days before posting photos of birthday trips or visits to the park."

Get Permission to Post

While some might argue that parents have every right to post family photos, kids don't ask for such public childhoods. While babies and toddlers generally have no say in what mom or dad posts, tweens, teens, and even younger kids often feel their parents share too much about them online without their consent. Take Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter, Apple, who, after seeing that her mother had posted a selfie of the two of them without her permission, reportedly called her out in the comments. "While you might think it's your right to post what you want on social media when you ask kids, many don't want photos of them to be put online," says Dr. Laura Markham. "Our children have a right to decide what is posted about them and deserve not to have their privacy violated by us. It's important to get their approval first."

Related: New Study Sheds Light On Sharenting

mom of newborn should know the danger of sharenting
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Beware of the Backlash

When you're posting photos of your kids online, especially in the public domain for all to see, it's important to consider what the people who see the photos might think. They might not like it for all sorts of reasons and will be happy to tell you exactly how they feel. This can be very hurtful. There are many instances where people have been attacked for oversharing on social media. In 2019, Pink appeared on The Ellen Show and explained why she had stopped sharing photos of her kids after getting comments attacking her for posting a photo of one of her kids without a diaper. 

Pay Attention to Your Privacy Settings

If you're going to post photos on social media, then check your privacy settings regularly. According to the Child Rescue Coalition, 89 percent of parents haven't checked their privacy settings in over a year. Facebook, Instagram, and other social media apps all have different settings. Without realizing it, you may be sharing your photos with the general public, aka strangers. Also bear in mind that the friends and family you share your photos with may have different privacy settings, which means they could potentially share your photos too. "Public posting means anyone, anywhere can see it," says Lavelle. "Keep your posts private, set your profiles to private, and make sure your posts are only visible to a custom audience of friends and family."

rawpixel via Unsplash

Consider the Bigger Picture

No one knows what happens with all the photos once they have been posted on social media. Take Facebook (which also owns Instagram and Whatsapp), which has been all over the news recently due to data breaches and their handling of personal information. Do you want these big corporations to have access to all sorts of data on your kids that you inadvertently supply? "While it's wonderful that technology allows us to be connected with family and friends around the world using social media and other photo-sharing apps, there is so much we don’t know," says Lavelle. "It comes down to common sense, smart-decision making, and being careful what you post." 

Be Present in the Moment

When your child is performing in a show or playing in a match, of course, you want to capture every proud moment on camera so you can share it with family, friends (and maybe the whole world.) We've all done it. But your kids see you with your phone in front of your face instead of watching them, and you won't be able to focus on what they're doing. Next time, put your phone away, watch, and be proud. Your kiddos will love that they have your undivided attention, and you will be able to enjoy the experience much more.

Related: Dear Moms “Oversharing” On Social Media: I See You

two moms with their baby
iStock

Consider Private Social Networks

As mainstream platforms like Facebook and Instagram come under fire, private social apps like the one we offer through TinyBeans are gaining ground for their privacy and security features. Our app offers parents a private space to share photos, milestones, and other moments with their children among family and friends in a private social network.

 

 

If you haven’t had a kid throw a toddler tantrum in public, are you even a parent?

When it comes to universal kid truths, the fact that toddlers have tantrums pretty much tops the list (just ask this news anchor mom). On the flip side is another truth—handling tantrums can be really tough for parents. The good news is parents and caregivers can help little ones deal with their very big feelings that show up as toddler tantrums, using specific strategies that can benefit everyone.

1. Acknowledge (and Name) Their Feelings

The Situation: My daughter and I have spent a lot of time at the playground recently. If it were up to her, she’d play all day. Eventually, we have to go pick up a sibling from school or have lunch or do something else. She’s disappointed we have to go and isn’t afraid to show it. Cue the toddler tantrum.

The Solution: Julietta Skoog, nationally certified school psychologist and co-founder of Sproutable, a company that supports parents in growing remarkable kids through classes, coaching, and video content, explains that tantrums are a form of communication—one that lets parents know their kids don’t feel understood. She suggests validating and acknowledging those feelings. Use simple phrases like “I can see you’re disappointed” or “I know you want to stay at the playground.” Neurologically speaking, when our kids are losing it, their feelings are on red alert. Naming their feeling triggers the amygdala (the part of our brain that processes emotions) and helps kids flip the switch to green. It reassures them, lets them regroup, and returns them to the rational side of their brain.

Bonus tip: If possible, let your kid have a situational do-over after they’ve recovered, like saying “bye-bye” to the playground.

2. Model Behavior

The Situation: I’ve had more than one night where I’m juggling making dinner while helping my big kids with homework when my toddler melts down. Whether she’s hungry, not getting enough attention, or just feels overwhelmed, she’s had enough and I’m feeling stretched.

The Strategy: Dr. Alison Scott, a Seattle-area pediatrician and founder of baby doc box, a curated subscription box for baby’s first year, offers a great reminder for situations like these. Toddlers don’t have the coping skills we do. Scott suggests parents show kids how it’s done by modeling appropriate behavior. Try saying something like, “I see you’re having a hard time. I’m having a hard time, too.” Then take a few deep breaths or find a quiet place to sit down. Basically, do what you do when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Your kids will notice and eventually follow suit.

Related: 6 Phrases to Avoid Saying to Your Toddler

photo: iStock

3. Let Them Know What They Can Do

The Situation: If you know a toddler, you know how wildly stubborn they are. When my daughter wants to play with her sister’s off-limits toys or insists on going barefoot in the middle of winter, she’s not interested in being told “no.”

The Strategy: For these moments, Skoog explains that framing the situation as a positive—one you can say yes to—is a way to be firm but kind. So when my toddler melts down because her sister won’t let her play with her doll, a simple re-frame is in order: “Yes, you want to play dolls. Let’s go get your dolls so you can.” Similarly, letting her know “we can go outside when you’ve put your shoes on,” helps her see what she can do, rather than what she can’t.

Bonus tip: Be selective about saying no and don’t give in to tantrums because it might reinforce unwanted behavior.

4. Remove Yourself or Your Audience

The Situation: If you haven’t had a toddler lose it in public, are you even a parent? For all the times I’ve been in the toy aisle at Target and my daughter spies a must-have toy I have no intention of buying, the tantrum potential is high. It’s hard not to give in when you know it would stop that toddler tantrum.

The Strategy: Scott recommends an “extract and distract” approach. Skoog expands, saying parents can remove themselves from the environment or ask those they’re with to give them a minute. Finding a more private place lets kids know that you’ve got time and space to deal with whatever is going on. Once you’re out of the situation, it’s time to redirect or offer comfort. The goal here is “connection before correction.” Try softening your approach and getting down on the same level as your kiddo for extra impact.

Bonus tip: It’s natural to view our tot’s tantrums as a reflection of our parenting. But tantrums are a natural part of development, and when we remove our feelings from the situation, we can be more responsive, attentive, and attuned to what’s really going on.

5. Be Consistent with Routines

The Situation: Like all kids, toddlers love routine. But with two much-older kids, there are days my two-year-old doesn’t get to follow hers. She misses naps or stays up past bedtime on the regular, thanks so the noisy tween and teen down the hall.

The Strategy: If you have to disrupt the routine, be prepared. Watch for your kid’s cues, Scott says, and try to prevent the outburst. Pack extra snacks, bring along a lovey, or try to distract toddlers on the verge. The bottom line is, there’s no “secret sauce” to prevention. In that case, ignoring the tantrum is an option. Make sure your tot is safe and let it take its course.

Dive into a new world for a while

Parenthood is amazing, but early parenthood can be really… boring. There. I said it. There’s a lot of time spent waiting: waiting for your child to fall asleep, waiting for them to finish their bottle, waiting for them to finish breastfeeding… just, waiting. You may find you need a distraction—something, anything to fill your time. This is when a great fantasy show comes in handy.

Even when your tiny human gets bigger, that desire to break from the monotony of daily parenting tasks will likely remain (sorry!). Thankfully, there are fantasy shows out there so good that they allow you to immerse yourself in a totally different life for a while. You can finally be the person who’s not changing diapers or begging an infant to just effing sleep or surviving toddler tantrums or getting the cold shoulder from your tween. Dive in and enter a new world for a spell. (Note: this list features fantasy series with a notable magical element as opposed to those that lean more toward sci-fi or historical fiction. I’ve also skipped some of the classics you already know and love—e.g., Buffy, Charmed, and True Blood—to bring you some newer binge-worthy options.)

A Discovery of Witches

Discovery of Witches is a fantasy show
Amazon Prime

 

The magic starts in a library, and who doesn’t love that premise? Diana Bishop is a witch who isn’t necessarily too comfortable with her powers. She discovers a bewitched manuscript in Oxford’s library that forces her back into the world of magic. Matthew Clairmont (a vampire!) agrees to help her unravel what the manuscript means and let’s just say we didn’t know we needed a love affair between a vampire and a witch so badly. The magical elements and danger will keep you glued to your screen—and the unlikely relationship between the witch and vampire (who apparently don’t normally trust each other, who knew?) will keep you pressing play.

Stream it on Amazon Prime.

Shadow and Bone

Shadow and Bone is a fantasy show on Netflix
Netflix

 

In a world cleaved in two by a massive barrier of perpetual darkness, where unnatural creatures feast on human flesh, a young soldier uncovers a power that might finally unite her country. But as she struggles to hone her power, dangerous forces plot against her. Thugs, thieves, assassins, and saints are at war now, and it will take more than magic to survive… This is a Netflix adaptation of the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, and it is good. Grisha are magic users, and the main heroine of the story is one. But only a very special Grisha has the ability to summon light—and hence destroy the “barrier of perpetual darkness.” There’s also an ill-fated love story thrown in for good measure. You’ll be hooked.

Stream it on Netflix.

The Mayfair Witches

AMC

 

AMC brought Anne Rice’s Mayfair Witches to life this year, 33 years after it was originally published—and it was worth the wait. Alexandra Daddario (White Lotus) plays Rowan Fielding, a neurosurgeon who learns she’s the heiress to a dynasty of powerful witches—and the rightful owner of their New Orleans estate. She’s always suspected she had some “power” but had no idea about her origin story, as her mother’s stern aunt Carlotta robbed Rowan from her from birth and gave her to be raised by an acquaintance outside the family. The Mayfair Witches is the story of Rowan finding and reckoning with her power. And AMC’s dark (and at times pretty hot) reimagining is worth the watch.

Russian Doll

Russian Doll on Netflix
Netflix

 

For those of you who’ll watch anything Natasha Lyonne does (and if this describes you, you’re smart), Russian Doll will be an extra special treat. Nadia is doomed to celebrate her 36th birthday over and over and over again—because in every episode she dies and wakes up at the exact same place and time, in front of a bathroom mirror, at her party. She needs to figure out how to right her wrongs to stop this very repetitive and deadly cycle. There’s also time travel. Natasha Lyonne and time travel! What more could anyone want?

Stream it on Netflix

The Witcher

Netflix

 

Henry Cavil plays “Giralt of Rivia,” who is basically a super magical monster hunter known as—you guessed it—the Witcher. The Witcher and a Crown Princess (Ciri) are linked by destiny, and for most of the first season, they don’t even exist in the same timeline. Before Ciri was born, The Witcher unknowingly demanded her as a reward for his services by invoking “the Law of Surprise”—which is somehow less creepy than it sounds. When they finally meet, he becomes her protector so no one evil can take advantage of her powerful magic—and so he can keep the world safe (of course).

Stream it on Netflix. 

Interview with the Vampire

AMC

It may be hard to believe anything can upstage Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, but Sam Reid (as Lestat) and Jacob Anderson (as Louis) do not disappoint. This version embraces the love between Louis and Lestat—leaning into their romantic relationship. The “interview” is updated—this series essentially takes place 40-something years after the first interview. Daniel (Christian Slater’s character in the original film) is no longer a novice journalist, but an aging famous one, struggling with a Parkinson’s diagnosis. He agrees to let Louis tell his story again, but only if Louis agrees to be less contrived and more open with the interview. It’s getting a second season, so jump on.

Stream it on Amazon Prime.

His Dark Materials

His Dark Materials is a fantasy show on Max
Max

 

His Dark Materials won’t just take you to one fantastic setting, it will take you to several. The series bounces between different worlds and realities but keeps you anchored with a main character you’ll love. Lyra is an orphan, who in her search for a missing friend, uncovers a kidnapping plot with a magical twist. She also happens to be the subject of a witches’ prophecy that not only brings her to other magical realms but gives her a connection to a teenager from a conventional one, too. If you like magic and witches and otherworldly settings—this gripping series is for you.

Stream it on Max

Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time is a Fantasy Show
ABC

 

Disney, but make it dark. This series alternates between a fairy tale world and the fictional seaside town of Storybrooke, Maine. The residents of the town are actually characters from fairy tales who have been transported to the “real world” and robbed of their memories by the Evil Queen, Regina. Regina is the mayor of the town, and even though all the fairy tale characters have lived a pretty much stagnant life for 28 years where they don’t even age, they are completely unaware of their magical background. Only the daughter of Snow White (played by Ginnifer Goodwin) can save them. This is fun and dark and based on fairy tales. Check, check, and check.

Stream it on Disney+

Locke & Key

Netflix

 

After their father is murdered by a former student, three siblings—Tyler, Kinsey, and Bode—move with their mother from Seattle to Massachusetts into their father’s family home. The siblings start to discover a bunch of mysterious keys around the house (it’s actually called Keyhouse) and find that they can be used not only to unlock doors but might actually lead to some information about their father’s death. But surprise! A demonic entity is also looking for the keys. Fans of horror and family drama will love this fantasy show.

Stream it on Netflix.

Stranger Things

Still shot from Netflix's Stranger Things, a fantasy show, season 4
Netflix

 

If you somehow have made it seven years without watching this very beloved show, here’s your reminder to get on with it. The series is set in the ’80s and tells the story of a group of middle school friends who live in a town that happens to be in proximity to Hawkins National Laboratory—a lab that performs scientific research for the US Department of Energy. It just so happens that the lab is secretly experimenting with the paranormal and supernatural, and whoops! They’ve created a portal to an alternate dimension called The Upside Down, where everything is creepy and terrible. When one of the friends gets abducted, his mom (Wynona Ryder), his friends, the town’s sheriff (David Harbour), and a young telekinetic girl who escaped from the lab (Millie Bobby Brown) form an unlikely search crew.

Stream it on Netflix.

Carnival Row

In Carnival Row, mythical creatures have fled their own countries and gathered in the city, causing a bunch of human residents to become uneasy and angry. The jargon can get a little complex, but once you get past the difficult names and many mythological creatures you’ll need to remember, you’ll be hooked on this deeply compelling series. A love affair between a human detective and a fairy (Orlando Bloom and Cara Delevingne) will keep you hooked. This fantasy series doubles as social commentary—so if you’re looking for something light and fluffy, this probably isn’t it. But if you’re someone who loves to pay attention and craves a good investigation-steeped-in-fantasy, have at it.

Stream it on Amazon Prime.

Wednesday

Netflix

Throwing this one in for good measure, just in case you thought this YA mystery was not for you. It is! Wednesday is Netflix’s spinoff on the beloved Addams Family—and it’s the best reimagining of the characters of the show yet. Wednesday Addams is played by Jenna Ortega, who shines as our disinterested and dark titular heroine. Throw in a murder mystery and the beautifully creepy setting of Nevermore Academy (a school for outcasts), and you’ll be watching this series on repeat.

Stream it on Netflix.

Trust us, you do not want to poke that bear

Now you did it. You gave your 2-year-old the Elmo cup instead of the Star Wars cup. The battle lines have been drawn. The meltdown seems inevitable. But is it? “Sometimes it can feel like when our kids are tantruming we have to ride it through,” said Abigail Wald, who has helped tens of thousands of parents through her Mother Flipping Awesome parent coaching program as well as her viral videos and podcasts. “But what we do immediately preceding a tantrum can often make the difference between the tantrum happening at all or not.” Saying things like, “It’s okay” or “It’s not a big deal”—those are big no-nos. Trying to smooth things over with a reward? Not a good idea, either.

“Sometimes I like parents to think about it like this: At what point did you stop having meltdowns about little things in life?” Wald said. “Now answer that question and then wonder if it was by the age of 3 or 4. Then look at your child and be like—ah… okay.”

Whether you’ve got a headstrong one-year-old or a testy two-nager, these sprouting little people are all about their emotions.  It doesn’t matter whether they’re raging because you turned off The Wiggles or because you told them 7 p.m. is too late to go to the playground—those big feelings are real.  And how you respond to them can make all the difference. So the next time your child is about to lose it, handle the situation with care, and definitely don’t utter these phrases.

an angry toddler in a pink shirt clutches a bedsheet and a parent is nearby
Alexander Dummer via Unsplash

1. “It’s not a big deal” or It’s OK.”

Um, it’s clearly not okay. At least, not in your toddler’s growing brain—where whatever she’s upset about most certainly is a big deal. You telling your child otherwise will only make things worse. “Your child might not feel okay, and the process of your child getting from ‘I’m not OK’ to feeling like, ‘I am OK’—and figuring out how they get there—is the active parenting,” said Wald, who has two teenage sons of her own.

“Telling a child they’re OK when they’re feeling anything but is just ‘gaslighting somebody that you love,'” Wald said. Instead, try to meet your child where they are and acknowledging their disappointment without rushing to make it better.

“Let’s say you just got off a call with a client that you’ve been nurturing for a really long time and they just decided to give their business to another company. Your kid might look at you and say, ‘It’s not a big deal, because we get to go to the zoo today,’ but for you, it might be a big deal. Everybody’s big deal is different.”

Related: 8 Phrases to Bring a Toddler Back From the Brink

2. “Big boys or girls don’t [cry, whine, etc.].”

Not only have you just insulted your child by telling them they’re not a big boy or girl, but you’ve also set them up for a future where their feelings aren’t okay. Big girls and boys can cry. And we want to make sure our kids know that’s natural and normal.

“It can be very disorienting for a child to think that they’re not going to be able to have their feelings when they grow up, Wald said. “Letting kids have the feelings they’re having in that moment and have good coping skills for whatever age they’re in.” In most cases, telling your kids not to cry (or whine) only makes them cry more. Instead, try to understand why they’re so upset, and tell them you’d love to talk to them about it when they are calm.

3. “If you’re good, you can have [insert reward here].”

We get it. Sometimes it’s easier to pop in a little bribery in order to get out the door, have an easy trip to the grocery store, or enjoy a (somewhat) quiet car ride. But when you offer rewards for “being good,” what you’re telling your kids is that they’re not already good. “Children are always good; that doesn’t mean they’re always making good choices,” Wald said.

Here’s an example: Let’s say you’re looking for your toddler to pick up all the crayons when he’s finished drawing. Wald recommends saying something like,‘Hey, I’m looking for you to be able to pick up all the crayons, and that’s what I’m waiting for so we can go to the park.’”

Related: 5 Ways to Deal with Toddler Tantrums without Losing Your Cool

4. “Your sibling knows how to do this. Why don’t you?”

Sibling rivalry is a real thing, and comparing one child to another just sets the stage for more of it. Every kid has their own timeline, so it doesn’t really matter when or how one child can do something if another is having trouble. Bringing up a sibling will only make your child feel worse about their behavior.

That said, you can use another child’s experience to help when one of your kids is struggling. Wald suggested saying something like, “Your sister struggled with this, too, and then she learned. Maybe we can ask her what helped.” This way, you’re creating a support system instead of a rivalry, while helping solve the problem. Win-win.

Related: 6 Phrases to Avoid Saying to Your Toddler

5. “You’re my easy child.”

You might think it would make your child happy to know you think of them as “easier” than their siblings, but it doesn’t necessarily work that way. “Setting up a child as, ‘Oh, thank goodness you’re easy, you’re less difficult, you’re more compliant’ starts to put a child in a box. They feel like they have to be that way to keep the balance of the family. And that’s not really what we want,” says Wald. Got a favorite? An “easy” child? Keep it to yourself.

6. “What’s wrong with you?”

All your child hears when you say this is: “There’s something wrong with you.” And this proclamation can become a self-fulfilling prophecy—the child feels like the “bad kid,” so starts behaving badly. This can start to set up an identity that’s really unhealthy “as opposed to focusing on choices that have been made in the moment,” says Wald.

Instead of focusing on the child (i.e., “What’s wrong with you?”), focus on the behavior you’re trying to change (i.e., “You just hit your sister and it looks like she’s hurt. What can you do to make things better?”).

7. “You always” or “You never.”

Never say never. These sorts of blanket statements only tell the child who you think they are—which could lead to who they become. You tell your kid, “You never clean your room,” they’ll become a kid who never cleans the room. “You’re coding their brain for who they are and it starts to create, “Ok I guess you’re telling me who I am.'”

Instead of saying, “You never clean your room,” say something like, “Let’s work on cleaning your room today” or  “We can watch a show once your room is clean.”

Related: The Most Important Things to Say to a Toddler (That Aren’t ‘I Love You’)

8. “Because I said so.”

This one usually sneaks out of our parenting toolbox when we’re tired or just don’t have a better answer. But let’s be real. You know your kids are just going to keep asking “Why?” anyway, so why not just answer them honestly? They want to know why they have to go to bed at 8 p.m. Tell them how important sleep is for their bodies and how many hours they need to sleep so they can grow. If they ask why they can’t watch TV all night long, you tell them it’s because, while TV is fun, there are lots of other things in life that are fun, too, and it’s important to have balance.

“Our kids are in a really hungry learning stage at this age. They’re at a stage where they really want to understand the world. So it’s way better to say something like, ‘Well, the reason that the park closes is because there’s someone who keeps the gate open, and that person has to get home,” Wald said. “Everything is a learning opportunity to teach them how the world works is so much more powerful than, ‘because I said so.’ That builds the growth mindset that they need and the cognitive flexibility that we want them to have. ‘Because I said so’ doesn’t build any of those things.”

9. “Say you’re sorry.”

Your toddler just whacked her big brother in the face with her Barbie doll and won’t budge on the apology. Can you force it? Well, you can try. But they either won’t mean it, or they’ll stubbornly refuse, and then you’ve got your toddler mad at you and her brother. Now what?

Let’s backtrack a bit. Before you rush to apologies, it’s important to find out why a child did something wrong in the first place. “A lot of times they do something wrong because they feel something wrong was done to them,” Wald said. “You have to figure out why they did the thing they need to apologize for first, then help them understand why they felt the way they did and why maybe the way they handled it was wrong.” Once you have that talk with your child, and they’re at a place where they understand, you can have them “apologize for how they handled it without apologizing for the feeling.”

And, rather than just focusing on a “sorry,” it’s better to call it what it really is—a “repair.” To do this, narrate how the other person looks (“Look at your brother’s sad face; I bet that hurt.” or “Your brother is really upset that you hit him.”), then come up with a way to “repair” the situation (with a hug, an ice pack, etc.). This way, it’s not just about the words, it’s about the actions.

10. “Hurry up and make a choice.”

We get it. Your kid has been perusing the prize box at the doctor’s office for longer than the actual doctor’s visit, and you’re getting impatient. But—as you’ve probably noticed—telling your kid to, “Hurry up” only makes the choice-making take even longer. “When you say ‘hurry up,’ you’re creating stress,” Wald said. “For some people, stress creates action, for many, stress creates a freeze response. Their brain is now just hearing ‘Hurry up’ and now they can’t choose specifically because you just told them to hurry.”

So what’s a harried parent to do? Just take a deep breath and let your kid linger. Any parent who’s waited for their toddler to “do it themselves” when it comes to buckling their own seat belt knows how long those minutes can be. But sit tight. Play a Wordle. They’ll get there. And whatever you do, don’t tell them “It’s not a big deal.”

Related: 8 Ways to Say ‘No’ to Your Kid (Without Actually Saying It)