Capture the flag is always a popular choice

It’s time to drop the phone, drag the kids away from the tablets, and send them out the back door to play enough of the classic schoolyard games listed below to make them break a sweat and earn that popsicle. Sure, “Green Light, Red Light” and “Mother May I” are on the list, but we’re betting there are a few you haven’t played in years. 

1. Steal the Bacon

Divide your group into two teams and make sure each player gets a number. Set up a boundary line for each team and place the “bacon” in the middle (this could be a ball or some other toy. Call out a number, and the player for each team with that number will make a dash for the bacon. The first player who gets back over their boundary line wins that round.

2. Blind Man’s Bluff

This classic schoolyard game is like the thinking man’s tag or a slow-mo version of it anyway. All you need is a blindfold and three players to start. Put the blindfold on the Seeker; then spin him or her around a few times while the other players scatter. Now it’s time to seek. Using her keen other senses, the Seeker tries to tag the scattered players who are rooted in place. Sure, they can duck and dodge her outstretched arms, but they can’t move their feet. It’s a giggle-worthy game everyone can play!

3. Capture the Flag

This game requires a few players, so it’s a great one for larger families. Each team attempts to capture the other team’s flag, which is located at the other end of the playing field, at the “home base.” Players can tag members of the other team when on their side, sending them to jail. Get your teammates out of jail by crossing into enemy territory and tagging each one. The first team to capture the flag wins!  

4. Sly Fox

Fun fact: in France, this game is called, “One, Two, Three, Piano!” To play, one person is chosen to be the “fox” and faces away from the other players, standing by a wall or an imaginary line. The other players must stand in a line at a distance. When the fox isn’t looking, the other children must run or walk to get closer to the fox. If the fox turns around, however, the other children must freeze. If the fox sees someone moving, that child must go back to his/her starting place. The first child who tags the fox without being seen moving wins that round and becomes the fox for the next round!

5. Hopscotch

Using chalk, draw a hopscotch design on asphalt or concrete (see here for an example). The first child takes a turn throwing a small stone or similar object (i.e. a bean bag, shell, small toy) onto the first square. (The child loses his/her turn if the stone lands on a line or outside the square, and passes the stone to the next child in line.) The child hops on one foot into the first empty square (i.e. skipping square one) and every subsequent square, jumping with both feet at the pairs (4-5 and 7-8). When the child reaches square 10, he/she hops with both feet, turns around, and heads back to the beginning. When he/she reaches the marked square, the child picks up the stone while still standing on one foot and completes the course. If the child completes the whole course without falling or missing a square, he/she throws the stone to the subsequent square (i.e. square two) on his/her next turn. The first child to get all the way to square ten wins!  

6. Simon Says

Give your bossiest cherub a permissible outlet! One child is designated “Simon” and stands in front of the rest of the group. Simon then issues commands to the players, i.e. “Simon says pat your belly three times with your left hand.” The children must only follow commands preceded by the phrase, “Simon says.” If Simon simply says, “Touch your nose,” any players who follow the command are out of the game. The objective is to stay in the game as long as possible.

7. Mother May I

One child is chosen to be the “mother” “father” or “captain.” The other children stand in a line at a distance. Each child takes a turn asking the mother if they may make a certain movement, always preceding their request with, “Mother may I …” (i.e. “Mother may I take five bunny hops?”). If the child forgets to say, “Mother may I …” before the request, he/she must return to the starting line. The mother either says, “Yes, you may,” or “No, you may not, but you may… instead.” The first person to reach the mother wins and becomes the mother in the next round.

8. Jump Rope Rhymes

There are too many songs to count: Bubble Gum, Cinderella Dressed in Yella, Down in the Valley, and Grace Dressed in Lace. And these energy burners boast an assortment of educational perks: coordination, memory, balance, and teamwork, to name a few!

9. Red Light, Green Light

In this classic schoolyard game, one child is designated the “stop light” and stands at a distance from the other children, who are in a line. When the stoplight says, “Green light!” everyone moves toward the stoplight. All children must immediately stop when the stoplight says, “Red light!” (or the child must return to the starting point). Start a new round when one child reaches the stoplight.

10. Hide and Seek

Let your kids entertain themselves with endless rounds of what might be the most classic game of all time. Even older kids who may have outgrown this game will be up for it, and you can play it inside, too.

Related: 25 Backyard Games Perfect for Sunny Days

Celebrate the beauty of spring by making a magical fairy garden all your own

Your little one is no stranger to enchantments: from peering under rocks to fashioning wings and wands, the kingdom of the fairy is a magical place perfect for budding imaginations. What better way than to combine a love of the fae with a little small-scale gardening, of the little people, by the little people, and for the little people! We’ve got an easy tutorial on how to make a fairy garden for kids right here. For more seasonal fun, try a different gardening project for kids or giggle at a few spring jokes.

What You Need to Make a Fairy Garden for Kids

a succulent fairy garden for kids
Sara Olsher

A garden pot. Preferably one that is wide and/or bowl-shaped, so you have more room for all the tiny things, but any will do. Don’t forget the potting soil!

Plants. You can use annuals like lobelia, violets, or marigolds, or use succulents/sedum or other dwarf ground covers. If you want to get elaborate, get some bonsai trees. If your garden is indoor-only, look for teeny-tiny house plants, which you can pick up at a garden center for only a few dollars. Be sure and water the plants when you bring them home and before planting.

Shortcut: no plants or place to really grow them? Try a little florist moss for a woodland effect without the woods!

Little Things. Here’s where you can get creative. Decorate your fairy garden with little items found or created. Pinecones trees, stick teepees, and stones for benches or garden paths all give the fairy garden an au naturel feeling. Many nurseries now carry miniature “fairy house” items, but you can scour your toy boxes for the just-right accessory: a petite teacup could become a fountain or reflection pool, little flags from hors d’oeuvres designate fairy territory, large marbles become garden globes. We love this popsicle stick house (and table and chair set). Also, try aquarium stores for tiny castles and similar structures. And don’t forget LEGO bricks! 

Create Your Fairy Kingdom

a jeweled fairy garden for kids
iStock

Fill your pot with soil. If you have any larger “structural” items, such as a tiny house, put that in place before you plant. Designate an area where you will put your garden path. Most of the smaller items can be added after, or in some cases, on top of the plants.

Make sure your plants have been watered but aren’t still soaking wet.

Tip: Layout your plants and larger garden decor in the pattern you’d like before you remove the plants from their pots. That way, you can rearrange them a bit before deciding exactly where they’ll go.

Plant your plants with enough space in between them for them to grow. As a rule of thumb, plant the largest plant you have first (i.e. the bonsai tree) and anything that might trail over or creep a bit closer to the edge of the pot. Before you accessorize, be sure you are happy with the placement of your plants. You can move them a bit after planting if necessary, but it’s best to avoid this too much as it will traumatize the plants and they may not thrive.

Tip: If you aren’t using live plants, you still need to create an elevated surface in your pot. If you prefer to skip the dirt, you could try using small pebbles to create a relatively flat surface on which to create your garden.

Now place in an area where fairies are sure to visit: garden, deck, porch, bedroom windowsill, or dresser near a window.

 

Ring in 2023 with exciting Portland New Year’s Eve events and activities that have earned the kid-seal of approval

You and the kids might not make it to the strike of midnight, but thankfully that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on Portland New Year’s Eve events. In fact, there are still plenty of ways Portland families can ring in 2023 and still make it home before bedtime (plus a few that’ll keep you out a little past it). Whether your kids want to celebrate the Noon Year, get active with a retro activity, or simply want to take one last look at some of the season’s best attractions, we’ve got options for everyone. Cheers to a safe and healthy 2023!

Ring in the Noon Year at These Celebrations

Portland new Years eve where a young boy near a disco ball bubbles falling all around
Hands On Children's Museum

1. Gilbert House Children’s Museum

Join the Gilbert House Children’s Museum in Salem for their annual Noon Year’s Eve celebration. Who needs to wait up until midnight when you and the kids can start partying at 10 a.m. with holiday crafts, a hot cocoa bar, and all the usual amenities the museum offers. As soon as the clock strikes noon prepare for a fantastic balloon ball drop that'll thrill the kids. Cost includes general museum admission.

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 10 a.m.
Cost: $5/person (members); $15/person (non-members)

116 Marion St. N.E.
Salem, OR
Online: acgilbert.org

2. Hands On Children's Museum

Bring the kids to Olympia for the Hands On Children's Museum's unforgettable Noon Years Eve Party. This year's theme is "Shine Bright in the New Year." Expect lots of sparkle, shine, glimmer, and glow activities that tie into the theme like Dr. Science experiments, bioluminescence, shooting star launching, glitzy crafts, and a photo booth. The Noon Year’s countdown includes a dance party, ball drop, and parade every hour throughout the day. Our tip? Make your online reservations in advance and save $2 on admission.

Good to Know: The museum will have a sensory-friendly room and art space set up from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. so kids of all abilities can join in the fun throughout the day.

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 10 a.m.-4 p.m.
Cost: $17/person; Free, babies 17 mos. & under

414 Jefferson St. N.E.
Olympia, WA
Online: hocm.org

3. Erev New Year's Eve at Noon

Find all kinds of fun at the Mittleman Jewish Community Center the day before New Year's Eve. A bouncy house, face painting, games, and more will keep the kids busy before the clock strikes noon on the 30th. When it does, they'll be showered in beach balls, falling from the ceiling. RSVP is required for this event.

Date & Time: Dec. 30, 2022; 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m.

Mittleman Jewish Community Center
6651 S.W. Capitol Hwy.
Portland
Online: oregonjcc.org

4. Noon Year's Eve

Tots will get a kick out of this celebration at My Gym in Sherwood. A balloon drop will be part of the programming fun, and so will sparkling cider. But what your kids will love the most is the chance to climb and play at this indoor gym before and after the celebration. The event runs for 90 minutes, starting at 11 a.m.

My Gym Sherwood
16080 S.W. Tualatin-Sherwood Rd.
Sherwood, OR
Online: mygym.com

Skate & Roll Your Way into the New Year

kids roller stake around a rink at portland new years eve

5. Oaks Park Roller Rink

Rink in the New Year at Oaks Park. Expect a DJ, skate specials, party favors, and so much more at this family-friendly event that runs well past your kiddo's bedtime. Skates are available to rent.

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 7 p.m.-1 a.m.
Cost: $22/person; $5/spectator

7805 S.E. Oaks Park Way
Portland
Online: oaksamusementpark.centeredgeonline.com

6. Lloyd Center Ice Rink

The Lloyd Center ice rink is open for public skate on New Year's Eve from 1 p.m.-7:30 p.m. It's a great place place to celebrate the day without having to stay out too late with the kids. Every two hours starting at 1 p.m. and ending at 5 p.m., snow falls on the ice next to the magnificent 70-foot Christmas tree, and bonus—New Year's eve is a Rock 'N Skate evening. From 5:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m. a DJ will be spinning tunes and taking requests.

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 1-7:30 p.m.
Cost: $20/person; $4/kid, ages 2-3

953 Lloyd Center
Portland
Online: lloydice.com

7. Mountain View Ice Arena

Another ice skating option just north of the city, Mountain View Ice Arena in Vancouver will be hosting a New Year's Eve Skate. Best for families with big kids or little ones with plenty of energy, you'll have the chance to hit the ice for a few hours to celebrate the turning of the calenadar.

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 7:15-9:30 p.m.
Cost: $15/person

14313 Southeast Mill Plain Blvd.
Vancouver, WA
Online: mtviewice.com

8. King Pins

If you want to go big for the New Year, consider renting a New Year's Eve lane at King Pins. An early time slot will give you plenty of time to enjoy cosmic bowling with the kids while still making it home for the regular night time routine. Prizes, giveaways, and a big celebration are all part of this event your kids will remember. 

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 5:30 p.m.-1 a.m.
Cost: $125/lane (for group of 6)

3550 S.E. 92nd Ave.
Portland
Online: mykingpins.com

More Kid-Friendly New Year’s Activities & Events

a kid wearing a 2023 new years eve hat and holding up peace signs
iStock

9. Storytime at Powell's

Bring the kids to hear The Magical Yeti by Angela Diterlizzi on New Year's Eve if you're looking for something fun to keep them entertained. 

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 10:30 a.m.

1005 W. Burnside St.
Portland
Online: powells.com

10. Straight No Chaser 25th Anniversary Celebration

There's something irresistible about Straight No Chaser's a cappella tuneage. Maybe it's the songs they choose, or the humor they bring along with it. Either way, your kids will be tapping along with this vocal phenomenon.

Date & Time: Dec. 31, 2022; 7:30 p.m.
Cost: Tickets start at $25

Keller Auditorium
222 S.W. Clay St.
Portland
Online: portland5.com/keller-auditorium

Last Chance to See Lights at These Amazing Displays

11. Check Out Holiday Lights

If you didn't make it out to see all the amazing holiday light displays around the city, New Year's Eve is your last chance to catch many. It's the final night of the popular neighborhood Peacock Lane display and Winter Wonderland at Portland International Raceway. Plus, ZooLights only has a few more days to go before going dark for the season. Get out there and see the displays while you still can.

Related: Electric Avenues: Holiday Light Displays That Really Shine

Do your kids know about these indigenous people who have changed history?

Even with holidays such as Indigenous People’s Day and Native American Heritage Month, popular culture and our history books may remind you of only a few indigenous people. We have many heroes, historic and modern, who are working toward goals that help elevate Native American and First Nations people along with protecting things vital to all of humankind, like water and food. Take some time to acknowledge their achievements and maybe even pick up a kids’ book that celebrates Native American culture and authors while you’re at it!

Deb Haaland
doi.gov

Deb Haaland

U.S. Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland is the first Native American to serve as a cabinet secretary. She is a member of the Pueblo of Laguna tribe. She works towards environmental justice, mitigating climate change, finding missing and murdered indigenous women, and putting forth family-focused policies. She is one of the first Native American women to serve in Congress.

Sean Sherman is one of the important indigenous people your kid should know
Dana Thompson via Wikimedia Commons

Sean Sherman

Founder and CEO of The Sioux Chef, Sean marries his passion for cooking with his rich heritage by raising awareness of indigenous food systems. As the winner of the 2018 James Beard Award for Best American Cookbook, Sean uses his platform as a way to create opportunities for education around Native foods and culinary techniques. As a member of the Oglala Lakota tribe, the work Sean does is deep-rooted in a sense of pride and connection to his people.

Amber Gueteiber

Josephine Mandamin

Born in 1942 in the Wiikwemkoong Unceded Territory (Ontario, Canada), Josephine was the founder of the Mother Earth Water Walkers and fierce leader of the water protection movement who strived to bring awareness to water pollution. Having great influence on many people in her community, it comes as no surprise that her great-niece, next on our list, follows her path.

Autumn Peltier

Member of the Wiikwemkoong First Nation, Autumn Peltier, was only 15 when she first spoke before the UN General Assembly on the issue of water protection in 2018. Known as a “water warrior,” she follows in her great aunt Josephine Mandamin’s footsteps, advocating for the rights of Native American communities to have access to clean water.

Related: 24 Black Heroes Our Kids Should Know by Name

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Edmonia Lewis

Born in New York around 1844 to indigenous parents—her father was African American and her mother was a Chippewa Indian—Edmonia spent a great deal of her career as a sculptor in Rome, Italy where she gained international notoriety in the world of fine arts. Although many of her sculptures depicted prominent American figures, Edmonia never forgot her heritage, paying homage to both her African American and Native American origins in sculptures such as “The Arrow Maker” (1866) and “Forever Free” (1867).

Neely Snyder

Descendant of Red Lake Nation and Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe, Neely is passionate about creating healthier Native American communities. Applying her education and background in philanthropic leadership, Neely, as Executive Director of Dream of Wild Health, advocates for the organization’s mission to help indigenous Native American communities recover their natural ways of life, especially through indigenous food and agriculture. 

courtesy Wikimedia Commons

Hilaria Supa Huamán

A native of Peru and a member of the indigenous peoples of Quechua, Hilaria says her adversities are what have given her the strength to fight for many causes that affect the Quechan, as well as people all around the world. She is an activist for women’s and land rights, using her influence as a member of the Peruvian Congress to lobby for and enact laws that would benefit these causes.

Jessie "Little Doe" Baird

Jessie "Little Doe" Baird is a linguist who helped revive the Algonquian language of her ancestors that had not been spoken for more than 150 years. As a citizen of the Mashpee Tribe of the Wampanoag Nation, she started to create a dictionary in 1996 chronicling the tribe’s ancestral language as part of a research fellowship with MIT. The dictionary holds more than 11,000 words.

Related: 18 Latinx Trailblazers Your Kids Should Know

UBC Museum of Anthropology, British Columbia via Creative Commons

Bill Reid

Not many kid’s history books talk about the Haida peoples of the Haida Gwaii archipelago, located off the west coast of British Colombia. Their preservation of land and water are admirable environmental achievements. Having a deep respect for his mother’s heritage, Bill Reid dedicated much of his work in the arts to the Haida peoples. Bill created, alongside other native artists, a sculpture depicting the story of human creation as passed down by Haida legend, among others. His work in bringing awareness to and preserving the stories of the Haida peoples is remarkable.

Joy Harjo

A member of the Muscogee (Creek) Nation, Joy Harjo is an American poet who has served as the incumbent United States Poet Laureate since 2019. She is the first Native American to hold that honor. She has written nine books of poetry and two award-winning children's books, The Good Luck Cat and For a Girl Becoming. As the U.S. Poet Laureate, she has introduced the country to the many Native poets who live in these lands through her signature project, “Living Nations, Living Words”.

Winona La Duke is an important indigenous person your kids should know
Eclectek, via Creative Commons

Winona LaDuke

Descended from the Ojibwe tribe in Canada through her paternal blood, Winona has spent the past three decades actively working to recover lands for tribes such as the Anishinaabe. In addition to reclaiming lands, she also works to restore and preserve natural, indigenous cultures through the cultivation of native foods and products. Winona ran for president of the United States in both 1996 and 2000 as a member of the Green Party, and although she was not elected into office, we think the work she is doing carries just as much importance.

Isidro Baldenegro López

As a leader and indigenous member of Mexico's indigenous Tarahumara people, Isidro (b. 1966) staunchly defended the old-growth forests in his territory. In 2005, he was awarded the Goldman Environmental Prize for organizing peaceful protests that led to the protection of the forests and its indigenous people.

Got a hero to suggest? Email us at gabby.cullen@tinybeans.com.

If you ask a kid who has the hardest job on the planet, they might say something like, “Fireman, Wonder Woman, and the president.” Touché. Being the president isn’t for the faint of heart; only those with superhero qualities need apply. The fun facts below prove that presiding over the Oval Office takes a special (and sometimes quirky) kind of person. Read on to check them out!

iStock

1. Barack Obama: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream?
Who doesn't love a scoop of ice cream on a hot summer day? Our 44th president, that's who. He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can't stand ice cream.

2. Bill Clinton: You've Got Mail
While sending and receiving email is now a run-of-the-mill thing in most households, Bill Clinton was the first person ever to send an email from the White House.

3. Gerald Ford: Paging Frank Underwood?
Seemingly out of a Hollywood (or NetFlix) script, Gerald Ford was the first person to be both vice president and president without ever being elected by the public. How? He was appointed vice president when Spiro Agnew resigned from his post, and then he succeeded to the presidency when Nixon resigned due to the Watergate scandal.

4. Martin Van Buren: Born in the USA  
While it is currently a law that you have to be born in the U.S. (or a US Territory) to become the President, Martin Van Buren was the first President who was actually a US Citizen. All previous presidents were born British subjects.

5. James Garfield: America's Got Talent  
Most people only speak or write one or two languages at a time. James Garfield could write Latin with one hand and Greek with the other hand simultaneously. #coolpartytrick

fun facts about George Washington, the person in this picture
unsplash

6. George Washington: Party of 1?
George Washington was the only president that wasn't affiliated with a political party? Washington was neither a Republican nor a Democrat.

7. Thomas Jefferson: Lights, Camera...
Today, the president is on television or making a speech almost daily, but did you know that Thomas Jefferson had such stage fright that he only gave two speeches during his entire presidency?

8. John Tyler: Big Poppa  
John Tyler was the father of 15 (!!!) kids, more than any other president.

9. Teddy Roosevelt: That's Going to Sting a Little in the Morning  
An excellent hunter and athlete, Roosevelt was notorious for having a tough guy image. Once, while giving a speech, he was shot in the chest during an assassination attempt. He continued AND FINISHED the speech with the bullet still lodged in his chest.

10. James Madison: Hey, Down Here!
For some reason, presidents are characteristically tall figures. James Madison was definitely an exception. He only stood 5 feet 4 inches and never weighed more than 100 pounds.

Ern M. via Yelp

11. Abraham Lincoln: Try, Try, and Try Again
Lincoln lost five separate elections before he became President of the U.S. (Never, ever, ever give up!)

12. Herbert Hoover: Hide and Seek Champion
Herbert Hoover gave all the White House servers strict instructions to hide from him whenever he passed by. Those who failed to do so were fired. Yikes.

13. Chester Arthur: Night Owl
We all know that being the president means you probably have a lot on your mind. Arthur always went for late-night walks and rarely was in the bed before 2 a.m.

14. Dwight D. Eisenhower: Pancakes, Dave?
One of the most important positions in the White House now is being the official White House chef. However, Eisenhower was a skilled chef himself and was known for cooking delicious vegetable soup, steaks and cornmeal pancakes.
 
15. Harry S. Truman: Is it Sean? Stillman?
Harry S. Truman's name is very distinguished. Mainly because of the 'S.' that is included with his name. Did you know Truman doesn't actually have a middle name? It's just the letter 'S'.

 

—Ayren Jackson-Cannady
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Now is your chance to get away! But… where to? Whether it’s just you and the kiddos or a family reunion you’re planning, we have something totally off the beaten path that will make for an unforgettable trip. Dude ranch vacations are the OG western adventure vacation. They offer something for every traveler at every age, whether it’s horseback riding, fly-fishing, white-water rafting, hiking, shooting sports or simply porch-sitting with breathtaking views, Dude Ranchers’ Association member ranches have it all. The best part?  DRA ranches are all-inclusive—an ideal way to travel no matter the type or size of your group.

No Fool’s Gold here: Get a wiggle on and keep reading for more reasons why we think your buckaroos will deem a DRA Dude Ranch trip ace-high! (That’s cowboy speak for “Awesome!”)

ALL-INCLUSIVE!: The stallion of vacation set-ups, all-inclusive trips just make everything so much easier when traveling with a group. No fighting over the bill at dinner, all DRA Dude Ranch destination pricing includes meals, lodging and even activities (so no sticker shock at the end of your trip, either!

Fits Any Type + Age of Traveler: And we mean, any: babies and toddlers up to seniors, singles, couples, reunions, multi-generational trips, and so on—pretty much any scenario in which humans gather, the Dude Ranchers’ Association is sure to thrill them all. (Even your Aunt Martha—we know she’s picky.)

Activities for All: Horseback riding is typically the main event, but activities for all interests are readily available. And remember, the DRA has lots of options so you can find the Ranch that’s perfect for all your dudes, including you, partner!

Sky-High Standards: The DRA implements a rigorous 2-year application process in order to be accepted into membership with the Dude Ranchers’ Association. Once a ranch is accepted, the DRA board of directors visits the ranch every five years so guests are guaranteed an extraordinary western experience at any member ranch. 

Location, Location, Location: Well, that depends on where in the west you think is best! You have heaps of options (90+!) and any DRA member ranch you choose is sure to be an excellent destination to unplug and reconnect with family and friends, and surely to gather ‘round the campfire and stargaze at night.

Safe Destinations: Leave the staleness of your home territory behind and step into another world: You’ll be outdoors in nature, surrounded by fresh air and taken care of by a small group of friendly folks at any given DRA Ranch—welcome home! (on the range... )

Rustic or 5-Star? Up to You!: DRA Ranches offer it all. From working cattle ranches to traditional dude ranches and luxury resort ranches, the Dude Ranchers’ Association has all the options you could possibly desire or need. Adventure awaits at any of DRA’s member ranches—each with something unique to offer their guests—just choose your adventure!

 

Don’t be a yellow belly! Book your dude ranch trip today—it’ll be a vacation they’ll love to pieces!

 

It’s not that different. I know it seems that way from an outside eye, but it’s not. Raising a non-verbal child with autism may appear abnormal to others. In our house, though, it’s the most normal thing in the world.

I get it. There was once a time when I was raising my daughter and my son hadn’t yet entered my life. I know how I saw families raising similar children to the boy who would eventually join us. I remember pity and misunderstanding. In my mind, those in the position that I would unknowingly one day be in myself had been doomed to an incredibly difficult life.

When Lucas was born and eventually diagnosed, that incredibly difficult life never materialized. Sure, raising my non-verbal son is hard at times. Then again, raising my very-verbal daughter is hard at times. If you’re a parent to any child, on or off the spectrum, feeling that another parent has it hard and you don’t is a big assumption. To be completely frank, if you’re a parent and you don’t think that it veers into difficult territory now and again, you’re doing it wrong.

There are so many reasons why having a special needs child in my home isn’t some daily cause of depression. For starters, he’s great. My kid is great. He’s sweet and kind without any overly selfish or aggressive tendencies. Ironically, I credit a lot of that to his autism. His loves and enjoyments are for his own satisfaction. He doesn’t get joy in insulting others or fighting for his own things. He just goes with the flow. After Autism Awareness comes Autism Acceptance. In our house, we’re up to Autism Appreciation.

Then there’s the fact that normal is as normal does. This has always been our life and, to us, it’s normal. We have long searched for ways to better communicate with him. Thanks to picture boards and communication devices, we’ve been able to. I know when he wants pizza. I know when he wants to watch Raffi. We’ve unlocked many of the same doors parents with neurotypical children opened. It just took us a bit longer and the doors we found were partially hidden. 

The biggest reason it’s not so strange for my daughter and me to have a non-verbal child with autism in our house is that it’s not so strange to have a non-verbal child with autism in your house. It sounds basic, but it’s true. I’ve learned that the unique ways my son sees the world are like how the rest of us see it.

If he returns home after a long day of school and the television goes on with his favorite show, he begins cheering. Clapping and yelping with delight, my 10-year-old little man dances around the den; sporadically stopping to tap my chest with an expression that says, “Yo! Look! My show is on!” It’s adorable.

It’s also exactly what I want to do when, after a long day, I return home and my favorite show comes on. Who doesn’t want to jump around cheering? Who doesn’t want to tap everyone in the room so they see? In many ways, this action is exactly the one I, and many others, would take if it wasn’t for these darn social walls many of us have built since childhood.

He repeats sounds and movements that he enjoys. They call this “stimming.” We all do that too. In the case of many, that stim is a song “stuck in your head” or funny-sounding name. We click our pens and tap our fingers. People stim. So does my son. It ain’t no big thing.

Sure, there are some things he does that aren’t connected to me but, as paradoxical as that sounds, that’s actually another similarity. All of us have unique characteristics that no one else in our vicinity can share. We have quirks, habits, and personality traits that are one in a million. He does and I’d like to hope I do. We’re all special. Mr. Rogers said so.

At the end of the day, my kid is a kid. Autism might be a part of his personality, but it’s not his entire being. He’s his own person and that’s why we love him. The old saying might be that “if you meet one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.” But the better saying would be, if you meet one person, you’ve met one person. It doesn’t get any truer than that.

Even during a regular year, the end of summer and beginning of fall marks a big transition for a lot of families. Back to school is a big shift with routine changes and social-emotional adjustments. But this year, the back-to-school transition feels especially big. Our kids have been through so many wild changes, uncomfortable adjustments and uncharted territory—and so have we!

Given the inequities in access to education that surfaced over the past year and a half, many parents are also worried their children have fallen behind their peers. Whether your family has dealt with online learning from home, hybrid classes, a pod set up, going to school in a mask or all of the above, you’ve been through a seemingly constant stream of changes and adjustments. As fall approaches, we know they (and you!) may have some extra back-to-school jitters this year. We’re here to help!

We believe two of the biggest supports for creating back-to-school stress relief are connection and routine.

Building Connections

We can teach our little ones that they are always held in a wide net of loving community connection, even when their loved ones are far away. As our kids embark on a new school year, reminders that they are always loved and supported no matter where they are empowers them to feel excited about creating relationships with new peers and teachers. This can greatly help to ease separation anxiety.

Talking with kids about upcoming changes and giving them a chance to get the details and ask questions is a great way to feel connected and soothe back-to-school stress. In these conversations we can help them remember that their Heart Family, just like Otter’s, is always with them. As we talk with them and help them prepare their backpacks and other items for school, we can remind them that our love and connection travels with them, too.

Roleplaying scenarios like walking out the door, getting on the bus, and entering the school or classroom can be a great way for parents to help kids feel ready, and if they know they’re not just carrying their lunch and school supplies but also the love of their family and community, they’ll feel that much more courageous and secure.

Fostering Routines

Being prepared and establishing routines gives us another way to support our kids as they get ready for the back-to-school transition. We can support our kids through their big transitions by giving them predictability in their home routines, such as having dinner together, packing up their backpack for the next day, and preparing for bed. Having routines at home also supports our kids in understanding and practicing routines at school, as well.

We encourage you to come up with a unique way of sending off your little one before their big day. This special goodbye ritual can be another part of the routines that you create together. Is it a fist bump and a silly face? A big squeeze and a nose nuzzle? Get creative and make it yours, together!

Many teachers agree that school readiness is mostly based on social-emotional skills and less so on academic skills. When our kids have the emotional support and skills to cope with big feelings and big changes, they are well prepared to learn at school.

To help with building connections and routine, Slumberkins has two stories that can help kids: The first is about Otter who helps teach our little ones that they are always loved and supported no matter where they are. This reassurance helps to ease separation anxiety. The second is Sloth’s story that helps children practice routines to calm their bodies and minds. By embracing structure with Sloth, our kids learn to take on new challenges and cope with new experiences.

We hope Otter and Sloth can help your family create some back-to-school stress relief through the power of connection and routine! Whatever fall brings for you, we hope to support you through this upcoming transition.

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This post originally appeared on www.slumberkins.com.
Kelly Oriard & Callie Christensen
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Kelly Oriard and Callie Christensen are co-founders of Slumberkins, a children's brand supporting social-emotional learning for children. Kelly has a dual master's degree in family therapy and school counseling, and Callie has a master's degree in teaching. Both are passionate about teaching children social-emotional skills to thrive in our modern world. 

Photo: Ali Flynn

As I raise daughters in today’s world, I am often scared. Scared for their safety and for mine. Scared of what can happen at any given moment.

After reading the news over the weekend, about Sarah Everard in London, I am scared of what our girls must be feeling.

If they can’t feel safe walking around fully clothed, a mask covering one’s face, and talking on the phone, where can they feel safe? We can’t raise our girls to live in a bubble.

So as I raise my daughters to listen to their gut, pay attention to their surroundings, and physically and emotionally defend themselves, thoughts keep popping up.

Do men ever have the fear of walking alone in an enclosed parking garage, a busy street, or a dark parking lot? 

Do men ever think they must find a spot, to park the car, under the street light? 

Do men feel uncomfortable walking alone on a street or navigating unknown territory? 

Do men always need to listen to their gut instincts before a date? Or while walking on the street?

Do men ever think they shouldn’t accept a drink from a stranger in a bar?

Do men ever feel a need to paint their nails, with special nail polish, to make sure their drink isn’t roofied?

Do men ever feel concerned about how to get themselves out of a potentially dangerous situation with a woman? 

Do men fear a woman will attack them sexually and with such aggressive behavior that many years later they still carry around the fear? 

Do men fear that if they share information about an assault that no one will hear them? 

No one will believe them?  They will be blamed and ridiculed? 

Do men fear a woman could potentially kill them because their footsteps are just a bit too close behind them to feel comfortable?

Do men feel a need to double-check the Uber driver’s name and learn how to unlock child locks in the back seat?

Do men feel that a self-defense class is necessary to learn how to fight off a woman? 

Do men purchase bracelets to alert police and emergency contacts they are in danger?

Do men wonder if police, those protecting us, are actually the police?

Do men question how much clothing covers their body so as not to be blamed if they are taken advantage of?

Do men have to worry about being followed home, looking in rearview mirror, or turning their heads around while walking?

Do men need their keys on hand before they approach their apartment door so there isn’t any lag time?

Do men need to downplay their sexuality to not be blamed?

Well, the reality is this, many women feel this way.

I wish these fears, for many women, didn’t exist and maybe the fear doesn’t show up daily, but it is enough to take pause, take notice and often take action to ensure one’s safety.

But how do we make these fears end? 

I don’t have the answers…but I have a simple wish.

As our world moves forward, may our daughters feel safe, protected and continue to listen to their gut instincts.

This is my silent prayer for all of our daughters.

And for the men who carry these fears as well, my hope for you too is to never have to carry this burden around with you, and rather know you are safe and at peace.

 

 

Ali Flynn Is excited to share with you the joys and hardships of motherhood with an open heart, laughter and some tears. Ali is a monthly guest contributor for Westchester County Mom  and has been seen on Filter Free Parents, Grown and Flown, Today Parents and Her View From Home.

The days full of anger and frustration seemed to be outweighing the days full of joy and satisfaction. My kids and I were locking horns over screen time every single day. I was struggling to get them to follow any limits, complete chores, or finish homework before getting on their devices. I was at my wit’s end and worried that our relationships were deteriorating into dangerously negative territory. 

Seeing my desperation a friend of mine recommended that I “talk to someone.” Therapy didn’t seem like the right fit. I didn’t need emotional healing, I needed a practical solution in the here and now. But my friend corrected me, she meant a parent coach, not a therapist. I was puzzled. I had heard of life coaches and executive coaches, but not parent coaches. She told me that like other coaches, parent coaching could help support me to make the positive changes I so badly needed.

I was ill at ease enough to look into it. After doing some research I decided to contact a parent coach. From the very first call, I felt relieved that I had someone to help me. Coaching, I learned, was going to help me get in touch with my parenting priorities and values around screen time. It was time to block out the noise of the internet searches, parenting books, and advice from family and friends and tune into what I really wanted for my kids and my family, and not just about screen time. Combined with her expertise in child development, we would get me to a better place. I wasn’t sure I could fit coaching into my busy schedule but I set aside one hour each week for 10 weeks and it was worth it. For the first time, in a long time, I felt hopeful.

With the guidance from my coach, I was able to see that some things were actually working for screen time at my house, even in spite of the challenges. While they were on the screen more than I wanted, they were using it to learn new skills and connect with friends playing games that were interactive and collaborative.  

We spent one session formulating my dream. The ideal family life that I was longing for without all of the tension and struggle around technology. We spent a session talking about my strengths as a parent and my children’s strengths. I am really good at talking with my kids about things and making sure they know how I feel. They do well when rules are clear and they have a voice in decision making. Then we used the strengths to design the steps I would take to make my present day to day match my dream. 

I engaged my boys in conversation when I wasn’t feeling charged or anxious and we were able to come up with some screen time parameters that worked for everyone. I had homework and there were times that I had to step out of my comfort zone. But each week I took a small step towards creating limits and boundaries around screen time making sure my kids were part of the process. It wasn’t perfect and it didn’t resolve everything, but it made life easier and I felt the joy return to our household and in my relationships with my kids. 

Coaching is also about engaging in self-care because it is an essential part of generating the high energy and focus that is required to be a parent. It is so easy to let it go when there is barely enough time in the day to maintain a balance between work and family. I came up with the self-care that works for me.  It felt doable, just 10 minutes a day to take a walk, meditate, or write in my journal.  On days when I followed through (not all of the time), I was more patient with the kids.

While having a better screen time balance in my household was the reason I sought out a parent coach, I came away with so much more:

1. I have a better understanding of my parenting style, new confidence, patience, and presence in my parenting. 

2. I finished coaching with a stronger connection to my strengths, values, and priorities for my family and can draw on those when making difficult parenting decisions.

3. I learned to take care of myself and how that increases my energy reserves and patience to parent from a more grounded place.

4. I try my best, even in the hardest situation, to find a positive frame and look at what is working in my situation as a way to approach the next inevitable parenting challenge. 

I am grateful to my friend for introducing me to parent coaching. In this day and age when so many people are raising kids without the help of extended family around, and now so many of us are isolated from our regular communities due to COVID, it is nice to know that there is a resource out there to help. 

This post originally appeared on True North Parent Coaching.

I'm Jenny Michaelson, Ph.D., PCI Certified Parent Coach®. I live in Oakland, California with my family. I love supporting parents through my practice, True North Parent Coaching. Together we uncover strengths and develop strategies to make transformational changes to overcome parenting challenges and bring more joy, ease and fun back to parenting.