Is it just me or are any other adults out there really spooked by traditional nursery rhymes? At first they didn’t bother me any and I barely even paid attention to the words I was reciting to my little ladies. After ten years of reading rhyme after rhyme however, they are sounding more freakishly terrifying to my old ears. Maybe these things are the reason kids never sleep!

 

Rock-A-Bye-Baby

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop When the wind blows, the cradle will rock When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall And down will come baby, cradle and all.

This one is another terrifying ode to the Royals. King James II and Mary Modena supposedly snatched up a sleeping infant and passed it off as their own in order to ensure the succession of the Catholic reign. Sleep tight, kids.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

Mary Mary quite contrary, How does your garden grow? With silver bells and cockleshells And pretty maids all in a row.

Another one about Queen Mary aka Queen of the creepy nursery rhymes. The garden is supposedly code-wo for graveyard and the guillotine  was lovingly referred to as “The Maiden.” Silverbells and Cockleshells are a reference to devices of torture. Never again am I reading a nursery rhyme to my kids.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown, And Jill came tumbling after.

Nothing weird about this sweet diddy, right? Wrong. A small English town claims this rhyme is about a real couple who used to sneak off to a local hill to do the deed. Jill falls preggers, Jack smashes his head open with a blunt object (obviously not ready for fatherhood) and Jill dies in childbirth. A real love story here.

London Bridges

London Bridge is falling down, Falling down, falling down. London Bridge is falling down, My fair lady.

I will admit, I didn’t ever have high hopes of this one. Bridges tumbling are never good news. This rhyme is open to suggestion. Some say it centers around child sacrifices (covering ears now) other say it has to do with the Viking attacks in the early 1000’s. Either way I hate bridges more than ever now.

Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they run, see how they run, They all ran after the farmer’s wife, Who cut off their tails with a carving knife, Did you ever see such a thing in your life, As three blind mice?

The back story is there are no mice…and no farm…and no happiness. The farmer’s wife is actually Queen Mary of England who didn’t cut off any tails, but rather burned three opposing noblemen (and several thousand others) at the stake.

Baa Baa Black Sheep

Baa, baa, black sheep, Have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, Three bags full!

One for the master, One for the dame, And one for the little boy who lives down the lane

This one is not as creepy in truth. Most scholars agree that it has to do with The Great Custom Tax of 1275. In recent history people have become really offended over the famous rhyme swearing that it is racially charged. One school even changed it to Baa Baa Rainbow Sheep. (Rolling eyes right now.) I’m just glad this one didn’t end in death and destruction and years worth of therapy and nightmares.

Baa Baa Black Sheep for the win!

Kristin is a blogging SAHM of 4 unruly princesses.  When she is not busy raising humans and vacuuming up toys she can be found at the local Target or hiding in her laundry room where she writes for Red Tricycle, Suburban Misfit Mom and Sammiches and Psych Meds.

Ready? Set? TUMBLE! All kids love gymnastics in some way or another – somersaults on the couch, balancing while walking along the sidewalk curb or hanging from anything that looks slightly like monkey bars. If you have a kid at home who could use an outlet for their energy, check out these spots in Portland that offer gymnastics and tumbling classes for children.

The Children’s Gym
The Children’s Gym has been teaching children to love this sport for over 25 years and there’s a reason why this gym is a Portland staple – they strike the perfect balance between letting the kids go wild and have fun and teaching them the basics to build a gymnastics foundation. Classes begin as young as 12 months and parent-involvement classes are available.

1625 NE Sandy Boulevard, Portland
Phone: 503-249-5867
Online: www.childrensgym.com

Kinetic Gymnastics Center
A gym that truly caters to the entire family, Kinetic Gymnastics Center in Southwest Portland is a great place to come if you have multiple aged kids who would like to take classes. Although they do have competitive teams at Kinetic, the beginning classes are no-pressure and all about having fun. Be sure to check out their open gym schedule as well (there’s even a drop-off option!). Classes begin at age six-months and parent-involvement classes are available.

10058 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton
Phone: 503-372-9778
Online: www.kineticgc.com

Metro Gymnastics Center
Metro Gymnastics is a favorite for Portland families with little tumblers because their tots program, Mini Movers, is broken down into small age ranges, allowing children to focus on skills that are at their exact level with other children, who are also working on the same skills. They also have an excellent recreational gymnastics program for school-aged kids who want to do gymnastics, but without competing. Classes begin at age 12-months and parent-involvement classes are available.

18084 SW Lower Boones Ferry Road, Tigard
Phone: 503-620-8939
Email: info@metrogymnastics.com
Online: www.metrogymnastics.com

Oregon Gymnastics Academy
Families who are looking for a place to make gymnastics a big part of their lives will find a home at Oregon Gymnastics Academy. Classes build on each other and utilize all of the fun and cutting edge gymnastics equipment at the facility. OGA also offers classes on the weekends, including Sensory Sundays, where children with sensory processing disorders can explore the gym. Classes begin at age 12-months and parent-involvement classes are available.

16305 NW Bethany Court, Beaverton
Phone: 503-531-3409
Email: info@ogagym.org
Online: www.ogagym.org

The Playground Gym
There’s so much to love about The Playground Gym in Portland – they are locally owned and operated, not part of a bigger chain, the focus on both fitness and social skills that are age appropriate for your child, the facility is bright, colorful and clean, and they offer open play sessions six-days a week. And, classes at The Playground Gym are very reasonably priced. Classes begin at age one and parent-involvement classes are available.

505 NE Grand Avenue, Portland
Phone: 503-235-7529
Email: info@theplaygroundgym.com
Online: www.theplaygroundgym.com

Where’s your favorite place in the Portland area for children’s gymnastics and tumbling classes? At what age did you start your little one in programs?

— Katie Kavulla

Explore.

Lakeshore
Whether you’re dropping in to practice tumbling at a Gymboree class, helping them with tree pose at Monkey Yoga Shala’s Itsy Bitsy kid’s class or taking them to get the wiggles out at Lakeside Park, with its views of Lake Merritt and downtown Oakland, this area has plenty of diversions to make a day of it with the kiddies. Fill up little bellies with a slice of the daily special pizza at Arizmendi bakery, then head into Adventure Toys and Learning Center where they can pick from a wide range of PLAN toys or Melissa and Doug wooden block sets (the sushi kit is adorable.) For more whimsical toys and too-cute shower gifts, head into Urban Indigo –equally fun for grown-ups. If they’re being extra good, or taking a snooze in the stroller, moms should stop into Maribel, one of our favorite consignment stores, to peek at the designer threads at major discounts. After all, the littles aren’t the only ones who need a treat now and then!

More to Explore (with kiddies in tow):

Solano Ave, Part 1

Solano Ave, Part 2

Hyde Street Pier and Aquatic Park

the Presidio and Crissy Field

Farmer’s Market & China Camp State Park

Marin Organic, U-Pick

Elmwood

Presidio Heights

Lakeshore

Larkspur’s Magnolia Street

Mt Tam and the West Point Inn

San Francisco’s Bernal Heights

Berkeley’s Fourth Street