With St. Patrick’s Day comes plenty of green, but what if you’d rather have gold? You’ll need to set a few leprechaun traps to find out where the elusive pot o’ gold is hiding (hint: it’s not at the end of the rainbow). We’ve got the best tutorial on how to make a leprechaun trap, so give it your luckiest shot!

Looking for other fun St. Patrick’s Day activities for kids? Check out our favorite St. Patrick’s Day crafts, St. Patrick’s Day science experiments, and the best St. Patrick’s Day jokes for kids.

What You Need to Make a Leprechaun Trap

A cardboard box or shoebox
A stick (or pencil in a pinch)
A pillowcase
Food (see below)
Optional: some sparkle

Leprechaun Trap Step One: Make the Bait

Rainbow rice krispies are fun for a leprechaun trap
The Gracious Wife

Leprechauns, despite the rumors, do not subsist on pints of Guinness and shamrock-shaped cookies alone. They like a variety of foods, but most of all they appreciate a rainbow of flavors like the ones found in these rainbow recipes. Bonus: you get to keep the leftovers. This can be the most time-consuming step. If you are in a hurry, just grab a pack of Skittles and move on to step two. 

Step Two: Make the Leprechaun Trap

little boy who made a leprechaun trap
Amber Guetebier

The leprechaun is usually just under a foot high, although the size varies depending on age (they shrink as they get older) and origin.* So the best method here is a simple box trap. 

Get a smallish box, like a shoebox. A plain box works fine but if you want to increase your odds of getting a leprechaun,  paint the box green, a color most pleasing to them. Decorate it with anything that gives it that special glitz: glitter, coins, gemstones, or just an artistic use of the brush. 

Find a stick or pencil to prop the box up. You can even use a piece of cardboard, cleverly disguised as a friendly sign.

 

Step Three: Add Bait to Your Leprechaun Trap

Place the “bait” on a plate underneath the lid. No string is needed. Once the leprechaun takes his first bite of your delicious food, he’ll dance with joy. This dance almost always leads to kicking the stick over. Voila. He is trapped. If you’ve got preschoolers, how cute is this printable bait template from Mama Cheaps for leprechaun traps?

Hint: Don’t bother waiting up for the leprechaun. They never show under a watchful eye.

Related: 17 Easy St. Patrick’s Day Crafts That’ll Bring You Luck

Step Four: Get the Gold

Wait at least three hours before checking your leprechaun trap, but if you can, wait a full night. (Parents, you can leave a small note or coin in place of the treat from the escaped wee man). If your trap is empty, better luck next year. If, however, you caught your leprechaun, you’ll need to transfer it from the trap into your home. Use a soft pillowcase, and scoop up the entire box including (hopefully) the leprechaun. Remember, your goal here is to get him to reveal the location of his gold, not bring harm to him. Be firm but kind, and be persistent.

More Tips for Your Leprechaun Traps

Once you have him inside, lock your doors and close your windows. Leprechauns are master escape artists.

Be ready to barter. They are very clever and can trick you out of just about anything, but you will need to offer something in exchange for the gold (i.e., his freedom). Do not believe him when he tells you it’s “at the end of the rainbow.” They like silky fabrics, velvet, and shiny things.

Be sure you have enough food: they can eat an incredible amount of food, so be ready to lay out a feast or at the very least, a decent tea party.

If you can get them to tell you where the gold is, you truly have the luck of the Irish!

*While it was once true that a leprechaun could only be found in Ireland, there are generations of leprechauns that have naturalized in the woods, parks, and gardens across America. Rumors of how leprechauns came to the U.S. include stowing away in luggage, sliding across rainbows (totally unfounded), and the most plausible: paid passage. They are, after all, in possession of copious amounts of gold.

Editor’s note: No leprechauns were harmed in the making of this article. 

Get your space back with a kids’ loft bed

Does your child’s bedroom look like a toy tornado blew through it? Are you tripping over piles of clothes and stepping on Legos?  If you’re a parent with major space needs, you’re in the right place. We know firsthand the struggle of trying to fit all of your  kids’ belongings into their bedroom while still leaving enough space for them to play and sleep comfortably. Loft beds are the answer to all of your space-saving problems. These “lofty” goals may seem impossible, but thanks to these clever kids loft beds, the dream can now be a reality.

So, whether you’re dealing with a small bedroom or just want to give your kiddo the coolest bed ever, keep reading. These fun sleep setups not only save precious floor space but also provide a fun and adventurous sleeping arrangement for your little ones. out our favorite kids loft bed setups below, and be prepared to take their room to brand new heights. We know parents will love these:


west elm mid century loft bed for kids
West Elm

Mid-Century Marvel

$1954 BUY NOW

This loft bed with desk hits all the right mid-century notes: from the classic wood color to the streamlined styling, we are pretty sure this piece will stick around long after the kids have moved on to their own abodes.


loft beds for kids loftbed
Walmart

Urban Industrial

$200 BUY NOW

This workhorse not only delivers a spot to sleep, but the built-in shelving units also provide ample storage—whether your little one needs a spot for their dinosaur collection, books, or a place to display their sports awards.


loft beds for kids from Oeuf
Oeuf

Oeuf Perch Loft Bed

$1720 BUY NOW

Modern furniture maker, Oeuf, has done it again by applying their minimalist-yet-still-cool-for-kids look onto what can sometimes be a large and overwhelming structure in a room. Their "Perch" loft bed is as versatile a loft as the rest of them but with an eye for design thanks to its pared-down styling.


Amazon

Little Seeds Monarch Hill Haven Twin Metal Loft Bed

$350 BUY NOW

If your kid is begging to upgrade their little kid's room to a full-fledged teenager's oasis, this twin loft bed delivers design-worthy results with on-trend metal accents against clean lines. Plenty of space abounds below the sleeping area whether for a full desk setup or cozy lounge.


best loft beds for kids donco kids full house
Zulily

Donco Kids Full House Low Loft Bed-Color

$785 BUY NOW

If you are and your kids still can't get enough of farmhouse chic, then install this rustic-inspired loft bed that also accommodates a full-size mattress—a nice perk for growing kids.


loft beds for kids from DHP
Amazon

DHP Studio Loft Bunk Bed

$356 BUY NOW

Who could ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed that has a set of stairs welcoming you to start your day? This loft bed, ideal for active kids, also includes handy pockets for storybooks and toys—keeping all their favorites within easy reach.


best loft beds tiramisu best bunk bed
Amazon

Twin Loft Bed with Bench Seating

$387 BUY NOW

Do you have a Starbucks-loving teen? This convertible loft bed will make their mocha-frappucino dreams a reality thanks to this clever set-up that provides cafe-style seating underneath their sleeping quarters. Best part? If a playdate/study-sess goes late, the seating area can quickly transform into another bed, turning this loft into an instant bunk for sleepover fun.


Room & Board

Room & Board Chase Loft bed

$2499 BUY NOW

Some say a coat of paint is the easiest way to transform a room but they must not have seen this loft bed available in 16 different colors! Pop this loft bed into your kid's room for a much-appreciated splash without any of those rogue paint splatters.


loft beds for kids max and lily twin over twin loft bed

Max & Lily Twin over Twin Low Bunk Bed

$748 BUY NOW

Complete with guard rails, storage shelf, and stairs, this all-in-one loft bed has everything a kid could want with all the safety reassurances parents need so parents can sleep easily too.


Pottery Barn Kids

Treehouse Loft Bed

$2500 BUY NOW

This adorable loft bed is designed to have the bed fit inside the classic house frame, surrounded by plenty of open windows and to be ladder accessible. This one is sure to be perfect for the adventurous kiddos.


IKEA loft beds for kids
Ikea

Småstad

$649 BUY NOW

For the kid who needs it all—a desk, a wardrobe, a place to play, and a spot to sleep, then look no further than ultra-convenient Ikea whose loft bed provides all of that and then some without taking up a ton of floor space.


best loft beds for kids dorel living benson twin left bed
DHP/Amazon

Dorel Living Benson Twin Loft Bed

$159 BUY NOW

This fun, stylish, and functional design is made of sturdy wood construction. It's available in many different colors to easily fit into any new or existing decor. Enjoy simple and traditional design, perfect for small spaces.


Target

DHP Junior Metal Loft Bed with Storage Steps and Blue Curtain Set

$380 BUY NOW

This loft bed is perfect to keep your little love's room nice and neat. The curtains create a private area (to hide things or to play!) and also has panels above the storage pockets to keep small toys and books neatly out of sight. Finally!


Merax/Amazon

Twin-size Loft Bed with Desk and Reversible Ladder

$229 BUY NOW

Maximize space and functionality with this awesome design. The loft bed comes with a wooden desk and two corner shelves, perfect for the older child who needs a study area and lots of storage space.

All the products listed are independently & personally selected by our shopping editors.

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

Looking for fun Christmas trivia for kids? These reindeer facts are just what you need

You know Dasher and Dancer and Comet and Vixen, but do you know that reindeer grow beards in the wintertime? We’ve rounded up some of the most fascinating, fun reindeer facts, just in time for Christmas. Looking for more trivia for kids? Check out our list here!

reindeer
Hans-Jurgen Mager via Unsplash

1. Rangifer tarandus is the scientific name for the animal we most commonly call reindeer. They are in the same family as deer, and there are more than a dozen subspecies. 

2. In the wild, some reindeer travel more than 3000 miles in a single year.

3. In North America, reindeer are also known as caribou, although the current "taxonomic jury" is out on that all species of reindeer are caribou. Most people use the terms interchangeably.

4. Reindeer like it cold! They are native to Arctic and subarctic regions as well as tundra and boreal (read: snow, snow, snow!) to northern Europe, Siberia, and North America.

5. The indigenous people of Finland, the Saami, have more than 400 words for the food, tools, and other products taken from reindeer. Their word for reindeer, raingo, may be where the common name is derived.

6. Reindeer beards? In the winter time reindeer grow their facial hair long enough to cover their mouths, which protects their muzzles when grazing in the snow.

7. Male reindeer have louder calls than females. Males use a small pouch under the skin of their throats which they inflate to blast out a loud bellow.

 

reindeer pulling sleigh
Judith Prins via Unsplash

8. Reindeer grow new antlers every year.

9. For almost all kinds of reindeer, both male and female reindeer have antlers. Females shed their antlers when they give birth in the spring.

10. The Finnish Forest Reindeer, arguably the reindeer of Santa Claus fame, is the largest reindeer species. They are over 7 ½ feet long. 

11. Finnish Forest Reindeer’s hooves have a special scoop that helps them forage through the snow for lichen and moss.

12. In warmer months, reindeer feast on grasses, mushrooms, and plants. In the winter they feast mainly on moss and lichen. Reindeer have a strong sense of smell, which helps them sniff out food underneath layers of snow.

13. In many cultures, Reindeer are used to pull sleds and sleighs. There's evidence of this dating back 7,000 years ago in Siberia!

14. Reindeer are covered in hair from their nose to the bottom of their hooves, which gives them a good grip in icy, snowy, and muddy terrain.

15. Reindeer travel in packs of 10 to several hundred. They generally follow food sources up to 1,000 miles, especially when it's tougher to find in winter.

Additional reporting by Taylor Clifton

 

You don’t need an extreme home makeover, or even the help of a design pro to give your home an easy upgrade. From fresh flowers to perfectly placed candles to an expert stack of books, we bring you six ideas that you can execute today, probably with things you already have in your home.

Fresh Flowers on the Table

Constantin Panagopoulos

This is a classic, for a good reason. A vase full of flowers is sure to brighten up any space, and the dining room table is always a winner. But not all arrangements are created equal. For a dining table where people will want to look at one another, low and wide arrangements work best. A safe rule is to cut down bouquets from their original length. It will keep your blooms fresher, plus low arrangements are more modern than the "long-stemmed roses" of days past.

Rearrange the Furniture & Decor

iStock

If your space is feeling a little stale, consider rearranging your furniture, swapping area rugs or moving some of the home decor you already own. You'll be amazing at what a difference it makes. 

Candles in the Bath

Maddi Bazzocco via Unsplash

Dirty tub? Grime disappears in the dark! Whether it's bath time or you are expecting dinner guests any moment, flip off the lights and fill the bathroom with enough candles that no one will ever need to reach for the switch. The combo of candles, glossy tile and mirrors will turn this humble room into a glittering little getaway in no time. Bonus: scented candles will fill the small space with sweet smells.

 

Stack Your Coolest Books on the Coffee Table 

Hayrullah Gozcu via Unsplash

Even the most well-designed house can suffer from a cluttered coffee table. But a quick and easy clean up can make your living room party ready in minutes. First, get rid of all of the "real life" stuff like remotes, tattered magazines and drinking glasses. Once you have a clean slate, handpick three to five of your prettiest hardcover books (take a peek under the dust jackets to see if anything special is hidden underneath), and make a stack. Add a pretty bowl filled with olives, a selection of your best coasters, and you are guest-ready.

Show Off Your Produce in the Kitchen 

Jen Siska

The most eye-popping colors and design comes from nature, and we are betting your fridge or pantry is filled to the brim with pretty stuff. Same as the coffee table makeover, clean the counters of all clutter, then set out a few pretty bowls. Lemons, eggplants, apples, pears, avocados—all make for the perfect decoration when displayed thoughtfully. But remember, these styling props are for eating, so never deny a hungry visitor to spare your lovely setup!

Toss a Tapestry in the Bedroom 

Spacejoy via Unsplash

Duvets are pricey, and picking one to commit to can lead most to a mellow neutral. But to easily spice things up in the bedroom, collect a few tapestries or oversized patterned blankets. Hang them over sofa arms, on the backs of chairs or spread them out over the bed for a quick and dramatic change. If you're feeling crafty, hang on from the ceiling above the bed or on the wall for a temporary headboard.

Use a Patterned Wicker Basket Instead of a Plastic Laundry Basket

Sarah Dorweiler via Unsplsah

Swapping out a typical plastic laundry basket for an eye-catching patterned wicker basket is an easy way to give your laundry room (and wherever else you fold the clothes) a quick upgrade. 

—Erin Feher with Gabby Cullen

 

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The ever-popular after-dinner mint just got a Christmas-time upgrade. Andes Crème de Menthe trees are here—and they’re festive foodie fun for the whole family!

The iconic mint and chocolate candies don’t exactly scream, “It’s Christmas!” Like many other classic candies (think Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Hershey’s Kisses), Andes is dressing up its traditional treat in a cute candy Christmas costume.

photo: Amazon

Andes’ tiny trees feature two layers—a chocolate base and a minty coating on top. The mint layer features circle-shaped ornaments embedded in a holiday-themed tree design along with a big ole bow on top and a pile of presents underneath.

So where can you pick up a pack of these cute Christmas candies? Nab a 24-pack on Amazon for $32 and fill everyone’s Christmas stockings with minty delicious holiday cheer!

—Erica Loop

 

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If you’re the person who starts blasting Christmas tunes right after Halloween and you’re ready to up the ante, we’ve got the challenge for you. Hotels.com is giving away 25 free hotel nights, but you have to survive 24 straight hours of holiday music to claim the prize!

“Last Christmas” may not have been a “White Christmas” but it’s still “The Most Wonderful Day of the Year.” “Do They Know It’s Christmas” without “Silver Bells” and “Underneath the Tree?” If All You Want For Christmas is a Not-So-Silent Night then head to Hotels.com to enter. The entry includes your written submission on why you would survive and thrive in a room blasting Christmas tunes. Video optional, but encouraged!

The lucky(?) participant will stay a night in the extremely festive holiday hotel suite, where the music never stops. In the morning, Lance Bass will croon you a wake up call if you’ve somehow managed to fall asleep to “Jingle Bell Rock” and “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.” Once the 24 stay is completed, the winner will receive the 25 nights deposited into a rewards account, a $1,000 travel stipend and a $500 room service credit.

If you don’t manage to secure this one-of-a-kind experience, Hotels.com has plenty of other holiday stays to choose from. And check out our list of winter wonderlands where you can carol to your heart’s content!

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Hotels.com

 

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When was the last time you enjoyed a pre-flight coffee at the airport as the kids played in a safe, enclosed area and got some wiggles out before a flight? Never? Same. At San Jose Mineta International airport, that is now a reality. Zoom Zone, an interactive, educational play space created by the Children’s Discovery Museum in collaboration with the airport and sponsored by Zoom, is now open and ready to welcome young travelers. Read on for all the details and make sure to include time to check it out before your next flight! 

Located in Terminal B between gates 24 and 25, Zoom Zone is conveniently located across from Peet’s Coffee and next to Chick-fil-A. At 600 sq feet, it has just enough room for kids to discover all about flight and aviation through its five exhibits.

We went on opening day and got to play with kids spanning the age spectrum but the one exhibit that kids kept returning to was the Pin Screen. This signature experience at the Discovery Museum has been replicated here at Zoom Zone with its soft pins that can be pushed on both sides of the board, generating a 3D impression. 

In the center of the room is the Bird Climber, a slide structure that encourages kids to climb and slide or crawl under its feathers and wings. Tucked in the corner of Zoom Zone and demonstrating the mechanism of wings and flight is the impressive Kinetic Butterfly. The gorgeous wings flap when manipulated by turning gears and kids loved getting the view of the wings in action from below! 

A Plane Kiosk with its knobs, levers and steering wheel lets little ones imagine flying a plane—there’s even a bench for passengers so fasten your (imaginary) seat belt! The Alphabet Airplane exhibit has the entire alphabet on display while mimicking airplane window shades. Each letter corresponds to a city (L for London, T for Tokyo) that San Jose Airport flies to with a lovely city graphic underneath the shade. This gives little hands plenty of opportunities to get out the need to open/shut window shades and hopefully, along with letting out steam in the Zoom Zone, makes for a smooth flight! 

 

—story and photos by Christine Lai

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Delayed by COVID, the opening of the brand-new indoor waterpark Great Wolf Lodge in Manteca has been eagerly awaited by families all around the Bay Area. Just an hour’s drive from the Bay Area, Great Wolf Lodge is the ultimate water park experience that families have been looking for. For the month of October, a Howl-O-Ween celebration with trick-or-treating, a monster dance bash, arts and crafts and more will get the kids in the Halloween spirit. With 500 hotel rooms and suites, your family can wake up and be on a water slide in no time! We explored it all to give you the inside scoop and (spoiler) the only negative was having to pry the kids away to go home!

The Water Park

Great Wolf Lodge

Great Wolf Lodge’s main attraction is their indoor water park that is heated to a balmy 84F year-round. Admission is included in your hotel stay with access beginning at 1 p.m. the day of check-in. Fort Mackenzie, the multi-level water play structure, greets your family at the entrance with its multiple slides: toddler-appropriate slides on the lower levels and higher, longer slides for the more adventurous up top. A 1,000-gallon tipping bucket dumps its contents every three to four minutes so be sure the kids stand right underneath for the full effect!

Christine Lai

The multi-rider raft slide River Canyon Run bonds the entire family in a thrilling and twisting wet journey while Wolf’s Tail plummets its riders down a vertical 20-foot free fall when the floor drops out from underneath. Once your heart rate returns to normal, relax in the lazy river, wave pool, activity pool, zero-depth toddler splash area, oversized resort-style outdoor pool (can we say ‘pool’ one more time?) or one of the many other water/tube slides.

Things to know:
-Lifejackets are available and highly recommended for children 42” and below
-The Watering Hole, with its strategic location, serves adult beverages and slushies. If you’re like me, you will cycle between here and Dunkin’.
-The water park was least crowded about one hour before closing (at 7 p.m.)

The Adventure Park

Great Wolf Lodge

If your crew is ready for a break from the water park, fun is also to be had on dry land! Great Wolf Lodge boasts an exclusive, live-action-adventure game called MagiQuest in which participants wander the lodge using a wand to join tribes, befriend magical creatures and defeat the enemy. A mini version is also available for younger players five and under.

Christine Lai

At the center of the adventure park is a multi-level rope course that is suspended above a mini-golf course because...why not? The Ten Paw Bowling alley with its shorter lanes and smaller balls means even the shortest of bowlers can get in on the action after they mine for gemstones at Oliver’s Mining Co. Add a visit to the arcade and Build-A-Bear workshop to complete an epic day any kid will rave about. 

Things to know:
-Attraction passes bundle the activities to save money
-Free activities also abound! Story time, mural shows, family yoga, late-night dance parties, arts and crafts and character appearances by (friendly) wolves Wiley and Violet occur throughout the day. Check the daily schedule for times/locations
-It takes on average three hours to play one game of MagicQuest but can be continued at a later time
-Camp Howl is located inside Build-A-Bear and offers a quiet respite for coloring and reading from the hubbub  
-We found the Adventure Park to be the least crowded between the hours of 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

Time to Eat

Great Wolf Lodge

All this activity will surely work up an appetite and Great Wolf Lodge has options galore with nine different eateries. Feed your pack pizza from Hungry as a Wolf or stop by Freshwoods Market for grab ‘n go premade meals. Conveniently located within the water park, Timbers (burgers, hot dogs and chicken tenders) and Buckets the Taco Bus means you can order and eat while still swimsuit-clad.

Christine Lai

Barnwood serves up locally sourced craft cocktails and shareable plates and your pack’s sweet tooth can be satisfied at either the Great Wolf Candy Company or Wood’s End Creamery where your hardest choice (after which flavor) is a cup or a cone?


Things to know: 
-Pre-purchasing a dining package will help with savings
-Use their mobile app to order for contactless dining
-There is a Costco next door. Just sayin’. 

Time to Sleep

Great Wolf Lodge

When it's time for the pack to curl up for the day, Great Wolf Lodge offers a variety of lodging arrangements that can be divided into three main categories. The standard Family Suite sleeps between four and five with two queen beds and a pull-out couch. Themed suites provide a separate sleeping area for kids complete with wall paintings, murals and bunk beds. Premium suites offer the most spacious accommodations with at least two bedrooms or adjoining rooms sleeping between eight and 13 guests. Any of the accommodations will guarantee that your family will awaken refreshed, ebullient and ready to do it all over again!

Great Wolf Lodge
2500 Daniels St, Manteca
Online: greatwolf.com

—Christine Lai

Editor’s note: This trip was sponsored by Great Wolf Lodge, but all opinions expressed here belong to the writer.

Featured photo by Great Wolf Lodge

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I listen to way too many podcasts—the ones that make you feel more aware, upset, unsure and fascinated. I meditate sometimes and I drink enough water. I’m definitely putting in the work to try to remember who I am, in addition to being a mom, a wife and a business owner.

My “to-do” list, like most caregivers, is long. It lives in my phone and on my mind and if I forget it, it pings me back into submission. It keeps me busy—doing and going, going and doing my way to a satisfactory life. And it makes me feel 82% numb and substantially less alive.

The routine dulls my senses and for a not-new human like myself, it bores me to death sometimes. Sincere gratitude aside, being a mom of young kids is majority monotonous and minority former-self fun. Today, as I was driving home from a meeting, I realized that I had a full tank of gas, my suitcase and not one but two credit cards. I thought, “I could just get away for the weekend, run off and be alone for a full 48 hours. The kids would be fine, my husband would understand.” In fact, he was the one that told me, “I can’t make you happy.”

I wanted to drive far away today and to leave my problems behind. The idea perculated fuzzy in my head, as my fomer-fun self suddenly perked up, like a breath of fresh air had entered my lungs and was pumping life back into me. But as regularly programmed, I instead reverted back to my “to-do” list and pushed the novel-yet-non-sensical idea aside.

Annoyed, I drove back into the mind-blowing experience of modern motherhood. I was driving myself numb and not doing anything about it. Why? Because motherhood is unconditional and transformative. It’s damn beautiful and in that beauty is also a breakdown, an experience of the soul. And because as mothers, we’re trained not to rock the boat. Heck, we are the boat keeping everything afloat.

Deep inside my sticky sense of resentment, hand-dipped in disappointment, I heard my husband say it again inside my  head: “I can’t make you happy. You have to do that yourself.” He was right. This, “But what happened to my life?” baggage wasn’t his or theirs to carry. It was mine, all mine. There was no one left to blame. So now what?

I noticed a motorcyclist driving in front of me and he was masterfully pulling up his front wheel and rocking a wheely. I was at once, in awe and in admiration and also moderately concerned for his health and well-being. We exchanged a thumbs up as I drove by, congratulating him on his fearless feat and in that flash of a moment, I saw a twinkle in his eyes. They were sparkling like sunlight on the water. They were eyes of someone who was happy in that moment. It was that undeniable look you have when you’re doing something that makes you feel alive. When you’re not asking for anyone’s permission to live out loud and disappointing the world by not caring what anyone else thinks. Carl Jung calls it, individualizing, a way of being open-hearted to life.
That’s what I’m looking for. That look, that feeling.

I then have another idea and refuse to let my “to-do” list dictate my decision. I ask Siri,  “How far is Coney Island from here?” She answered, “12 miles.” I veered my car off and decide to take matters into my own hands. To dedcidedly be happy by doing something that actually makes me happy. It was pretty simple: I was going to hit the coasters, because I love riding roller coasters. I took myself on the date night I’ve been so desperately missing and I ended up riding the Thunderbolt front row next to a mom and her daughter. We held hands and screamed our heads off. When I picked up my souvenior picture to remember this version of me that I’ve longed for, I noticed something in my eyes looking back at me. It was that same shine. There’s the me underneath the “to-do” lists and it’s just waiting to come out if only we can allow ourselves to unappolgetically do whatever makes us happy, no outside assistance required.

I’m a beauty hunter, a dreamer, a learner and a doer. I'm also a mama to 2 wild ones (Lily Love + Bear). As a self proclaimed forest fairy + forest school founder, I believe in nature and magic and know that growth happens when you step outside of your comfort zone.

Photo: Devin Tomiak

We all want our kids to grow up to become happy adults. But what is happiness? A fulfilling relationship with a partner? A rewarding, high-paying job? Close friends? Good health? A helluva sale on your favorite Trader Joes Pinot?

“Happiness is an achievement,” read the teabag tag on my recent cup of Blackberry Apple Cider Digestive Awakening tea. The idea that happiness doesn’t just happen to people is common sense, of course. Our collective experience shows us that life is a series of struggles, some small and some not so small. Rest assured, a costly ding to your bumper waits just around the next bend. Or news of an irregular Pap smear. Or a poke in the eye.

Happiness is a game of hide and seek—a search for joy underneath the bed and behind closed closet doors. It’s the struggle to overcome addictions. It’s the challenge to make peace with that which you cannot change. It’s figuring out how to appreciate the goodness in your life in spite of the pain. No matter what it is for you, it’s a freaking beast to get there.

So if we all know that happiness is not something that exists in a vacuum without problems, if we all know happiness takes work, why don’t more people put in the effort to achieve it? And that’s not to say everyone I know is miserable, but if happiness comes to us through effort, why not work hard to get more of it? Why be happy only on the weekends? Or only when your team wins the playoffs? Why not be happy most of the time?

As it turns out, the personal qualities that make us “happy” in life, are the same things that make us “resilient.” Gratitude, optimism, self-regulation, empathy, healthy habits like exercise and eating well. The work of happiness is also the work of resilience. And we know resilience is no fun—it means problems. Sure, you’re overcoming those problems, but they’re still problems.

Interestingly enough, research shows that when we’re happy, we become better at working hard at healthy pursuits and creating the mental patterns that make us happy.

Did ya get that?

Put in the effort to get happy and getting happy will make you want to put in the effort.

“When we are in a positive mindset, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient and productive at work,” states a May 2015 Washington Post article, entitled “How to teach our children the art of happiness.”

So what do you teach your kids to prepare them for the happiness slog? What’s the overarching message that is going to make your child want to do the work to be both happy and resilient?

Perhaps it’s simple.

Maybe it’s just TRY. Put in the effort. Work hard.

Work hard at school. Work hard in the professional world. Work hard to resist getting on social media when you’ve already been on it for an hour. Work hard to get your meds right and take them if you need them. Work hard to eat broccoli, when you’d rather feast on Mesquite Barbecue Lays. Work hard to connect with others even if that’s just talking to the sales clerk at the gas station. Heck, work hard to take time off working hard; work hard at self-care and relaxation. And teach your kids it ain’t easy. Don’t expect it to be.

After all, happiness is an achievement. Teabags don’t lie.

This post originally appeared on The Biggies Conversation Cards Blog.

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After losing a brother to suicide, Devin Tomiak was driven to understand youth resiliency. Her personal mission to strengthen her relationship with her children, develop their emotional intelligence, and improve the communication skills of her whole family led her to create The Biggies Conversation Cards for elementary-aged kids.