ML Interest Tag: vagina

Is This Normal? Your Pregnancy Decoded

by Laura Holloway

A pea in the pod, a bun in the oven, preggo… no matter what you call it, everyone who experiences pregnancy knows you spend half of the nine-month stretch feeling joyful and excited and the other half feeling anxious and wondering if the things happening with your body are normal. You’re probably spending hours rabbit-holing into Google’s depths to read other mothers’ experiences and analyzing your own, wondering, “Is this normal?” Let’s break down a few common pregnancy “normals” and set your mind at ease.

You Are Not Your Belly
Few instances in your life could ever change your appearance so drastically and so quickly, and no two women are going to feel the same. While one may feel more beautiful than ever before, with shiny hair, glowing skin, and a cute, round belly, another woman may be counting down (by the minute) until her due date so she can hit the gym and feel like her old self again. The normal response? Whatever is normal for you.

Know that it’s okay to feel whatever it is you feel about your body; just remember that you are not your belly or your thighs or your boobs. Many women feel negative about weight gain and don’t love that random strangers will comment on their stomachs and bodies without prompt or permission. Be gentle with yourself; you’re creating a life, and your body has to change for that to happen. You will feel like yourself again one day, sooner than you think. In the meantime, pay attention to the happy changes going on with your body, especially when you’re able to feel those fluttery kicks from within.

Sex Drive (Or Park)
Some research points to an increased libido during your second trimester, and supposedly during this time, you’re feeling hot and ready for lovemaking at any time of day or night. This may be normal for some, and for others, it may be the exact opposite, where you sleep with a fly swatter next to your bed to fend off any unwanted advances (unless, of course, it actually is just the much-needed neck massage and nothing more. Yeah, right. We know your tricks.).

The point is, a lot is happening with your body and mind during this time (you’re growing a little human, for goodness sake), with hormones raging like they might during a slow jam during an eighth-grade dance. You’re feeling it? You’re not feeling it? Don’t worry. Whatever you’re feeling is normal. But if you’re concerned about the increase or decrease in your sex drive, talk with your doctor, and have an honest discussion with your partner about your needs.

The Prolapse and the Pee
Something else totally normal that happens to women during pregnancy? Pelvic floor conditions, including urinary and fecal incontinence, and a little condition called prolapse, which happens when the ligaments holding up the pelvic floor stretch, causing the uterus to descend. When this happens, the bowels and/or bladder can be pushed up against the vaginal walls and can cause a bulge, or prolapse, to push out of your vagina.

While this entire description should be a headline on the pamphlets aiming to prevent unplanned teen pregnancies, it is a completely normal side effect of pregnancy and childbirth. Many women say it feels like something coming down into their vagina or that it feels like sitting on a small ball.

Pelvic floor conditions affect one in five women, so to say it’s normal is an understatement. Every pregnant woman has peed a little without making it to the bathroom, but some pelvic floor conditions can be serious, so alert your doctor if you show symptoms, both during pregnancy and afterward. Together you can develop a plan for treatment and healing. There are also pelvic floor specialists who can develop a treatment plan for you.

And in the meantime, there’s leakproof underwear from brands like Proof. Choose the level of absorbency you need and the style you prefer (thong, brief, cheeky, hipster, and more), and you’ll get some piece of mind back.

Anxiety and Terror and Nightmares
When you’re pregnant, the last thing you want to hear is, “Oh, don’t mind her. She’s just emotional because she’s pregnant.” Don’t you just want to kick that person as hard as you can? Or maybe that’s just the emotions talking…? No, it’s a justified desire to kick that person as hard as you can. Of course, you’re emotional; you’re angry and weepy and nostalgic and sentimental and anxious and fearful and excited and happy and… it’s a smorgasbord of emotions, really. But every single one of them is normal, according to  medical experts.

Yes, you will cry over sweet commercials, and yes, you will get irate that the bag in the box of cereal wasn’t closed the right way and now your Captain Crunch is stale. And yes, you will lie awake at night, mapping and remapping the best route to the hospital where you’ll be giving birth. And yes, it’s completely normal to start crying in your kitchen while looking at your dog, wondering how in the world you’re ever going to still love your dog, or if you’re going to love your new baby as much as your dog.

Having a baby is a big change, and every emotion you are feeling is normal. Talk to friends about their “crazy” pregnancy emotions, journal about what you’re feeling, or ask your partner to give you a secret signal if you’re spinning out. Sometimes it can be as easy as telling yourself, “This anxiety/fear/anger I’m feeling only feels like more than I can handle because I’m pregnant.” Or just take comfort in knowing that the worry and anxiety you feel now is a good indicator that you are going to be a caring, concerned, and wonderful mom.

Finding Your New Normal
Try to stay off WebMD about your bump in the night, and instead talk with friends and family who have been pregnant and may have had similar experiences. And always mention anything you find concerning to your doctor. It doesn’t always seem like it, but the nine months are going to be behind you, and before you know it, you’ll be Googling “Is This Normal?” questions about your new little one. For now, try to relax and know that the most normal thing about the questions you’re asking is that every other pregnant woman is asking them as well.

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Support Your Health by Adding this Simple Thing to Your Daily Routine*

by Kenzie Kramer
Partner Content

In partnership with Renew Life.

Feel like you’ve got a lot on your plate these days? Despite packed schedules and never-ending to-do lists, it’s important to find ways to be good to your body—whether that’s finding zen in a yoga class or choosing sleep over social media “doomscrolling.” Another simple way to support health and wellbeing is to give your microbiome some love with a daily probiotic.

Renew Life® Women’s Care Probiotic 25 Billion promotes everyday digestive, immune, urinary and vaginal health*. Get 10% off + free shipping on all Renew Life products by using code TINYBEANS10

Wait… What’s a Microbiome?

According to the Mayo Clinic, the lining of your gut is covered in microscopic creatures, mostly bacteria. But don’t panic—many types of bacteria are helpful. These organisms create a micro-ecosystem called the microbiome. And the key to a healthy microbiome is creating a balance among the different species of bacteria in your gut

Probiotics Add Good Bacteria to Your Body

Probiotics are foods or supplements that contain live microorganisms intended to maintain or improve the levels of "good" bacteria in your microbiome—restoring balance and making you feel better. Adding some balance to a busy life? Yes, please!

Renew Life® Women’s Care Probiotic 25 Billion promotes everyday digestive, immune, urinary and vaginal health*. Get 10% off + free shipping on all Renew Life products by using code TINYBEANS10

Go With Your Gut

Women’s health runs the gamut. You may be dealing with tummy troubles or worried about what’s going on down there after a long day in a bathing suit (the struggle is real!). One small act—like taking the #1 women’s probiotic^ Renew Life® Women’s Care Probiotic 25 Billion—can support your health in big ways. Made by women, for women, some of the probiotic strains in the Women’s Care Probiotic are clinically tested and shown to balance vaginal pH and yeast levels, and promote digestive, immune and urinary health.*

A woman’s gut and vagina have two very different microbiomes—this probiotic supports both. Consider it multitasking at its finest! In a nutshell—addressing your unique needs helps your natural rhythms thrive.*

With a diverse formula developed by microbiologists and researchers, Renew Life® Women’s Care Probiotic 25 Billion has more clinically studied strains than the leading brand,† including the #1 most-studied strain.‡ The delayed-release capsules help ensure the probiotics reach your gut alive.

Women’s bodies are complex—but incorporating this awesome probiotic is a breeze.

Renew Life® Women’s Care Probiotic promotes everyday digestive, immune, urinary and vaginal health*. Get 10% off + free shipping on all Renew Life products by using code TINYBEANS10

—Jessica Solloway

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
^Based on IRI unit sales data, July 2021.
†PubMed Clinical Trials, August 2019.
‡L. rhamnosus GG strain, PubMed Clinical Trials, August 2019.

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How to Talk to Boys about Periods & Why It Matters

By Kenzie Butera Davis

 

photo: iStock

A friend shared a heartwarming story recently about her experience growing up with limited access to period care products. As a child, her family could not afford tampons, pads or other period care products and she would often use toilet paper to catch her period blood.

One day in middle school, this came up in conversation with a close guy friend. He knew enough about periods from his mom and older sister to understand this was probably pretty uncomfortable for her. The next day, he showed up to school with a box of tampons for her courtesy of the menstruators in his life. Rather than tease her or ignore the issue because it’s ‘not his problem’, her friend showed empathy and kindness, replacing an unpleasant experience with a positive memory that sticks with her to this day.

Even though biological males don’t menstruate, they still need to know about menstruation. Since around 50% of the population menstruates at some point in their life, it’s important for everyone to know what’s up so that we avoid bullying, teasing and spreading false information.

But, when should you start talking with your son about periods? What’s the best way to relay the information to them in a way that they’ll understand if they have so little context for what getting a period is like? What details do you leave in and are there some you should leave out?

Here are a few things that are particularly important when it comes to talking with boys about periods:

First, start early. 

Yep, this can be intimidating but, as it turns out, experts recommend starting conversations about menstruation as early as 4 years old. The goal is to start small and build on that foundational knowledge in a developmentally appropriate way as your child grows (rather than trying to pile on information about what periods are, how they happen, why they happen, how to manage them and what other emotional and physical changes happen because of them all at once).

Keep things honest, simple & direct.

Your child may naturally ask you about periods if they notice you’re putting tampons in the cart at the grocery store or if they see a commercial for Midol or if another kid at school mentions it. Regardless, you’re not always going to anticipate the timing or context of these questions and, frankly, they can totally catch you off guard. The most important thing to remember: take a deep breath and answer your child’s question in an honest, simple and direct way.

Easier said than done. So, here’s one example:

Child: Dad, what’s a tampon? 
Parent: Well, your mom bleeds a little bit from her vagina every month. It’s not because she’s hurt. It’s just a normal healthy part of having a vagina. The tampon catches the blood so that it doesn’t go in her underwear.
Child: Uh, why?
Parent: Well, it’s called a period and it’s what allows moms to have beautiful kiddos like you! Pretty cool, huh? 

Depending on the age of your child, it’s likely a moot point by now and they’re off doing their own thing.

Talk about periods within the context of puberty. 

With boys, it can be particularly helpful to talk about periods in the context of something they can directly relate to. Try helping them understand that menstruation is a physical part of puberty for females and that they too will experience physical changes of their own as they grow up, like changes to their voice and growing hair on their body and face.

Stay positive & encourage empathy.

This is a big one! Between the ages of 8-14, girls’ confidence levels fall an average of 30%. Encouraging young boys to have empathy and teaching them not to tease or shame someone for being on their period can help new menstruators feel more comfortable and confident as their bodies change and develop.

At the end of the day, you know your child’s maturity level best and have the power to decide how much is too much or how little is too little. If you’re not comfortable talking to your kids about periods, make sure they have another way to get this information such as asking a family member, doctor, school counselor or nurse to talk with your child or by delivering this information through another medium such as a book, comic or video.

For more support on having tough growing-up conversations with your kids, check out maro parents. and for help finding access to free and affordable period care products, reach out to Helping Women, Period.

RELATED STORIES:

How to Destigmatize Menstruation, One Period at a Time

The Birds and Bees: The Talk I Wasn’t Prepared For

Kenzie Butera Davis
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

maro helps parents navigate tough growing-up conversations with their kids: mental health, puberty, empathy & diversity.

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What It’s like to Be Induced at 41 Weeks

By Sophie Campobasso Nolan

Week 40, Day 6 (Morning):
I feel SO huge and I’m so over being pregnant. I’ve been on maternity leave for two weeks, and I assumed by this point I’d be cuddling my baby. Instead, I’m lugging around a fully formed human in my body and I’m having a hard time getting comfortable.

Week 40, Day 6 (Afternoon):
I go to visit my OBGYN in the hopes that she will take one look at me and proclaim “THIS WOMAN IS IN ACTIVE LABOR!” Instead, it’s a routine appointment where she tells me that I’m showing no signs of labor.

BUT THEN, EXCITEMENT! She tells me that she is going to call the hospital to schedule my induction for tomorrow!

Week 41, Day 1 (8:00 AM): 
My husband Brendan and I arrive at the hospital and are shown to our room. A Labor and Delivery (L&D) nurse enters to get me set up and check my cervix for signs of dilation. If you’d never had your cervix checked, this is what happens:

1. With gloved hands a medical professional sticks two fingers into your vagina.

2. They get their fingers all the way up and back until they feel your cervix.

3. They check to see if your cervix is opened (or dilated) and do a measurement in centimeters on how open it is. Your cervix needs to go from ZERO to TEN centimeters wide in order for a baby to fit through.

The L&D nurse tells me to put the bottom of my feet together to make a froggy pose while she checks my cervix.

She tells me that I’m at maybe half a centimeter dilated. Then she gives me my first dose of misoprostol, a pill that will slowly make my cervix dilate and induce my labor (hopefully.)

Week 41, Day 1 (2:00 PM): 
My L&D nurse comes to check my cervix again and give me a second dose of misoprostol or “miso” as they call it. I am hopeful that my cervix is cooperating but I am still at a half centimeter dilated. She tells me that her shift is ending and introduces me to my new nurse.

This nurse is a lot older and definitely more seasoned.

One of the first things my new nurse says to me is this:

“When the time comes, you need to push. You need to push, push, push! So many people go through all of this dilating, they get all the way to ten, and then they can’t push. You need to push!”

I stare at her intently and swear to her that I will push when I am dilated to ten.

Week 41, Day 2 (2:00 AM): 
We’ve been at the hospital all day and into the night, and very little has happened.

Two L&D nurses come in to give me another dose of miso and to check my cervix. One of the nurses is training and is obviously nervous. She goes ahead and starts to check my cervix. I can feel her fingers shaking inside me.

While she is in there, she looks at her colleague and hesitantly says, “um…four?” to which I bolt up in total excitement.

Her trainer looks at her in disbelief and asks nicely, “Are you sure?” Then she checks my cervix. Turns out I’m still at one.

Week 41, Day 2 (8:00 AM):
A new, really great nurse comes in. Her name is Chris and she is definitely my favorite nurse! I’m now dilated to two!

Week 41, Day 2 (12:00 PM):
As I walk to the bathroom something falls out of me. It looks like a jellyfish blob. Chris is with me and she says, “Looks like you lost your mucus plug!” and then grab a paper towel and picks it up. I think about how grateful I am that people are willing to do this job.

Week 41, Day 2 (3:00 PM):
I am now dilated to four centimeters, and things are heating up. I’m starting to get cramps that feel like a really bad period. The nurses ask me what my pain management preferences are, and I say I prefer to not feel any pain! They call for the anesthesiologist to put in my epidural.

Week 41, Day 2 (9:00 PM):
Things are getting real. Here’s what’s happening:

  1. I am dilated near ten.
  2. To help speed everything along, the team has given me pitocin, and it makes me vomit. A lot.
  3. The intense older drill sergeant nurse is back! She gives me a look as if to say “Remember your training, do not disappoint me.”
  4. My OBGYN is having dinner at home with her family. What?!

Week 41, Day 2 (9:15 PM):
The nurses all agree that it’s time for me to start pushing. They are calling the doctor who is on her way.

The drill sergeant nurse takes over. She instructs Brendan to help me hold my knees back towards my ears.

The drill sergeant waits until my next contraction comes and tells me to hold my breath and push. They count to ten while I push and feel like my head is about to explode from the pressure.

Finally, my OBGYN comes running into the room.

Week 41, Day 2 (9:15 PM):
The doctor takes one look and says, “Oh! Hi baby! We can see the top of your head!”

The OBGYN tells me when my next contraction is and I push hard again. Each push is the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done, and I vomit after each one. But I hold my breath and bear down as they count each time.

I do one last, hard push and I feel the doctor pull what feels like a massive thing out of my body.

That thing is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. My son is born!

Week 41, Day 2 (9:20 PM):
Amazingly I stop throwing up and suddenly feel 100% better. As I hold my little goo-covered miracle I am filled with a sense of accomplishment. The waiting was worth it!

This post originally appeared on The San Francisco Mama.
Sophie Campobasso Nolan
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Sophie is a San Francisco based Mom of 2 young kids on a mission to find and share the best kid friendly local stuff! 

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Parenting, aka- The Perfect Puzzle

By Catherine Buhler

‌

Recently I was talking to my friend who was struggling with her sons new habit. Screaming at the top of his lungs. What do I do, she asked me? So I suggested squirting him with a water bottle every time he did it. “You mean, like a dog?!?!” We both giggled, as if to concur, we both were completely perplexed. How many times does this happen? Our sweet and charming little children pick up mannerisms, attitudes and behaviors that leave us completely puzzled. On a daily basis I spend about 10-13 minutes wishing that children came with an owners manual. I really do not know how people parented before the Internet. In the past 3 days I have googled, “toddler sleep regression”, “child fearing monster in the toilet”, and my favorite, “How to explain a vagina to a 2 year old.” 

Because Samantha is my first child I am constantly being faced with the wretched realization that I have no idea what the hell I am doing. Every time she talks back, disobeys or challenges me, I have to assess the situation. “Quick, Cat! Whatchu gonna do? Don’t show fear, she smells it.” So I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and think about what Super Nanny would do. Too bad I don’t have a British accent. That woman could discipline a tadpole and it would listen. 

Nevertheless, I do read the parenting books. If you came to my house and glanced at my bookshelf you would think you were at a pediatric therapists office. The books that say consistency is key. The advice that says “let the natural consequence be the punishment.” Or then you get the opposing guidance, “When they rebel, they really just need your love. Grab them and hug them generously.” Is it really any wonder why we sit here on our couches totally confused with all the parenting wisdom we are being hurled? Do I need to ignore Samantha’s tantrum or chase her down the hall for cuddles? 

It is times like these where I am thankful that I have my mother. My mom is a teacher and spent time in child development classrooms learning about behavior, discipline and adolescence. I am often calling her saying, “I did A. B. and C. but its not working, what now?” or “Samantha keeps licking our arms. Is this normal?” After she laughs at all my questions she acknowledges my worries and then gives me some sort of encouragement that goes along the lines of, “You’ll be okay.” I secretly think she loves that I am now feeling all the despair and confusion that I gave her when I was younger. Touché, Grandma! 

Now, let me be clear. I am writing this because 1) I am beginning to realize (and appreciate) that we are ALL baffled on this parenthood puzzle. 2) It needs to be talked about more often. Why are performing like we have all our ducks in a row? And 3) I need some humility and humor to get me through the day. I am on my 6th Oreo and its barely 11am. 

Regardless of how hard children can be, I love being a Mom. I love that she jumps on the couch yelling, “Mom, lets cuddle!” Or when she mimics what I do in order to be just like me. I admire my daughters’ humor, her joy, and the way she can make a stranger smile. I love that she makes me want to be a better Mother, and I hope that I can be that, however, I know that she’ll forgive me if I don’t have it all figured out. She’ll love me regardless. This I know. 

Hi, i'm Cat! We live in Orlando, Florida where my husband works for Mickey Mouse (no, really). We have two kids, Samantha (5) & Preston (2). I suffer from a chronic illness called Short Bowel Syndrome. My ramblings are dedicated to travel adventures, nap time confessions and my medical journey. Cheers!

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What Motherhood Means for Your Vagina

By Samantha Paget

Creating a birth plan is no mean feat–there’s a lot to consider, after all, and your baby’s given you a non-negotiable deadline.

When putting your birth plan together, you’ll be faced with predicting every situation that might arise leading up to, during and after the birth—don’t forget the days and weeks postpartum, too!

But, no matter how meticulously you’ve covered all angles, your baby might not have gotten the memo. You may find things happen beyond your control, and beyond the control of the medical staff around you, and some aspects of your birth plan may go awry.

Birth complications mean communication is key

Unfortunately, for some women, these complications could make birth and the aftermath significantly more difficult. New research by specialist lawyers Bolt Burdon Kemp found that almost 1 in 10 women felt they had no one to talk to about vaginal health throughout their pregnancy journey.

We want to change that statistic. Here are some of the common issues you and your vagina might face during your entry into motherhood:

1. Vaginal tearing during labor. Going into labor typically means contractions. In this first stage of labor, contractions help open your cervix (that’s what ‘dilating’ is) and you’ll need to persevere through the contractions until your cervix opens to at least 10cm. That’s when the second stage of labor begins, and you can start pushing your baby out. And this is also when vaginal tearing could occur.

What is vaginal tearing?

Vaginal tearing is the name given to the accidental tearing of your vagina, and this tearing could extend to the muscles between your vagina and anus (known as the perineum). Vaginal tears can happen if your baby is pushed out too quickly, before your perineum has had a chance to stretch. Depending on your progress, your midwife or doctor may recommend an episiotomy–a small cut along the perineum–to help prevent accidental tearing. Do some research and make sure this is factored into your birth plan as a possible eventuality.

Eventually, your baby’s head (or buttocks, because some babies feel alternate) will start to show. Despite what the movies tell you, you’ll need to stop pushing at this stage and let your baby come out slowly. This could also help reduce the chances of accidental vaginal tearing as you’re giving the perineum time to stretch gently out.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to help your perineum out. Practice pelvic floor exercises throughout your pregnancy to ensure your pelvic muscles are strong and supportive during labor. In the weeks before your due date, give yourself some perineum massages to get the muscles more flexible. You could do this yourself or ask your birthing partner to help. Limit these to twice a week to keep the muscles supple in time for the birth. Perineum massages won’t eliminate the possibility of vaginal tearing completely but can help give the vagina a better chance of surviving unscathed.

2. Your vagina may change in size and behavior. It’s normal for your vagina to feel sore and painful directly after birth—and for a few weeks or months afterward too. If anything doesn’t feel quite right, don’t hold back from going to the doctor. With research finding that almost half of women (47%) admit to not knowing enough about their reproductive health to know what is normal and what is not, it’s all the more important to both keep yourself informed and seek advice from your doctor if you’re ever not sure. After birth, you may also find that things are different down there.

Your vagina may feel looser for example.

Your vagina might feel looser than normal, but this is less because your vagina itself has been stretched out and more because your pelvic floor muscles have become weaker. Keep going with your Kegel exercises to help strengthen the muscles. Kegels can also help with any incontinence issues you may have, so you can ditch that post-pregnancy diaper a little earlier.

Your discharge may change too.

You’ll have heavy discharge called lochia in the weeks after birth, but you may also find changes in your regular discharge. Up until day 10, it may be more watery, and pink or brown in color. In the days that follow, the color may transition into a cream or yellow, and slowly return to the typical color and texture you’re used to.

You may also have vaginal dryness, particularly if you’re breastfeeding (because it lowers your estrogen levels). This could mean you find it painful to have sex, so it’s important not to rush or force things, even if you’re mentally ready to have sex again. Doctors recommend waiting four to six weeks after birth to have sex and using plenty of lube when you do.

If you still have questions about your reproductive health, don’t hesitate to keep researching and asking your doctor questions. Learn as much as possible, so you’re aware of what’s to come and all the options available to you so you can be prepared and as relaxed as possible on the day and all the days following your baby’s birth.

Samantha Paget is a Registered Nutritional Therapist and a registered member of the Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC). She is the Founder and Director of Paget Nutrition and practices out of two clinics in central London where she sees private clients.

 

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This Tampon-Shaped Speaker Does What for Your Baby?!

by Shahrzad Warkentin

Talking to your baby and even singing are some of the ways expectant parents communicate with their babies while they are still in the womb. The new tampon-shaped speaker Babypod kicks that early introduction to music up a notch.

The Babypod is a tiny speaker that is inserted the same way you use a tampon. The speaker has an audio cord which can be connected into a smartphone or other music enabled device. Then all you have to do is queue up that playlist and let the party begin.

The makers of Babypod cited their own research into the benefits of music exposure in the womb. The device is intended for use up to 20 minutes per day after the 16th week of pregnancy. The company explained that the device was found safe to use in clinical trials of over 1,000 patients.  “The intensity of the sound that Babypod emits is similar to a conversation in low tone and has a control system so that it does not exceed this level, which can not damage the fetal ear,” the company said in an email to INSIDER.

While Babypod is FDA approved it’s always important to check with your health care provider before using any type of new device that can come in close contact with the womb and your baby.

“We don’t know if there is a sound or decibel level too high for a fetus. Maybe there’s a reason our bodies don’t come equipped with vaginal speakers,” Dr. Donnica Moore, a gynecologist, told INSIDER. “Anything that you may want to insert in your vagina during pregnancy should be cleared by your doctor first.”

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Suhyeon Choi via Unsplash

 

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Why Yes, I Did Have an Elective C-Section (Not That It’s Any of Your Business)

By Jennifer Muscato

I had an elected c-section. There it is.

I’m in no way ashamed of my decision, although I was shamed for it—and I hope sharing my story will help others not feel like crap if they decide it’s the best decision for them. Also, hopefully it’ll help the people on the other side understand and again: stop making c- sectioners feel like crap!

I’m 5 feet 1 inches, about 135 pounds. I’m just a little person overall. I’m short and I have small hips and shoulders. Now, some of you may have stopped reading at this point because you think I’m bragging, but I promise you this information lends itself to my story. (And, just for the record, I have a jiggly belly and my boobs have been ravaged by breast-feeding, not that I should have to defend just how my body is.)

When I got pregnant, I started showing pretty quickly. I got big…really big. But, when you’ve never had a baby before, your judgment of what’s normal and what’s not is just off because you’ve never been through it. Plus, every pregnant woman and every pregnancy is different. That’s 100 percent true. That’s why pregnancy advice can be so annoying because what’s true for you just may not be true for the next person.

I was 36 when I got pregnant which is considered high-risk. But, for some reason, I wasn’t ordered to have a lot of ultrasounds or extra appointments. I guess because I wasn’t having any complications? I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.

So, I saw my baby at the all-important 20-week ultrasound and then I didn’t actually see him again until 36 weeks. 16 weeks…nothing. No info given, just a “Oh, I hear a heartbeat.” Uh, okay, cool. Well, it wasn’t really because at 36 weeks I was told, for the first time, that my baby was big. Four weeks from the promised land and I’m informed of this for the first time.

The word “macrosomic” was mumbled by one awful doctor I saw and when I googled it later, it basically said I was having a bigger than average baby. By the way, my husband and I decided not to find out what we were having, and when you tell someone they’re having a macrosomic baby, a simple google search, to find out what the heck macrosomia means, will tell you that most macrosomic babies are boys. Cool spoiler, bro.

Dr. Awful wasn’t my regular doctor, but I was told I needed to meet all the doctors in my group because any of those docs could be on call the time I happened to go into labor. Besides basically informing me of my baby’s sex, Dr. Awful also mentioned my size and weight. Oh yeah—forgot to mention that. I gained 60 pounds. Yep, 6-0! I didn’t really care that much, but Dr. Awful sure did and said to me, “If it looks good, smells good or tastes good, you can’t have it.”

He said this to a very pregnant woman, carrying her first baby. He’s lucky he’s still alive and standing so he can be awful to other patients.

I did not start watching what I ate…I was pregnant, get out of here. But, I did start getting my vagina ready for this baby since almost every one of his body part measurements was in the 90th percentile. As a pregnant woman, you read about things like massaging your vagina with olive oil to help prevent tearing. So, I did it. It was weird, but I was prepping. I got the highly-recommended Tucks medical pads for after baby and special stuff to put in the bath to help in the after weeks and with hemorrhoids. Was I ready? Of course not, but I guess my medicine cabinet was.

One morning, two days after my due date, I started leaking fluid and lost my mucus plug (sidebar: um, gross…can we come up with another name for that?). I already had an appointment scheduled the see how big the baby was, so the doctor on call said to just come in.

We checked in at the front desk and the receptionist asked me if I was in labor. “I think so?” I don’t know, I’ve never been in labor before. And my contractions were very mild and spread apart.

Once we were in the room and had the ultrasound, we were informed my son was measuring 10 pounds 2 ounces. Now, they tell you these measurements can be off as much as 20 percent either way. So, I could actually have an 8-pound baby…or a 12-pounder! Even though I had not really imagined myself having a c-section, it was very clear to me what was the best choice for me, my small hips and my son. The doctor informed me that I was leaking fluid, so I needed to go straight to labor and delivery (or, the mechanic).

My regular OBGYN happened to be on duty when I arrived. I loved my OB and still do to this day. She is sweet and never made a big deal out of the 60 pounds I gained, unlike Dr. Awful. She had learned from the nurse that we were opting for a c-section and came into the room we were in.

“I get it,” she said. “You’ve been carrying this big baby around for 40 weeks and you’re done. I get it. I mean…I’m gonna get a slap on the wrist and I don’t get compensated as well for c-sections, but I get it.”

Ummm…what? Didn’t see that coming. When we tell people the story, people ask my husband if he said anything to the doctor. I guess to defend my honor. His answer is always something like, “No! She was about to take my baby out of my wife!” What was the guy going to say to her? Rip her a new one as she walked into the O.R. right before she grabbed a scalpel?

It did get worse though. She came up to my husband as I was getting prepped for surgery and said something like, “Hey, sorry for what I said earlier. I mean, I will get a slap on the wrist and I don’t get compensated as well so..sorry not sorry I guess.”

Oh boy.

On the bright side, my surgery went well and my son weighed in at 9 pounds 11 ounces. The nurse who weighed my son didn’t believe he was only that much because of how big he was and reweighed him just to be sure. Once he was out and my doctor saw how big he was, she said I made the right decision. But…I knew I did. I know I did.

Bill Maher does a segment on his show called “I don’t know it for a fact, I just know it’s true”.

I don’t know that I’d labor forever with that baby, not be able to actually push him out and have to have a c-section anyway for a fact, I just know it’s true.

My son was born into a world of no stress while Jack Johnson was being played. People in the room were casually chatting and then all of a sudden, there was my son. I know some people have bad c-sections. A friend of mine got a staph infection after hers. So I, in no way, think it’s the easy way out. It’s just not. All I’m saying is that I knew, in that moment, it was the right choice for me and my son. And there ain’t no shame in that game.

I'm a producer and writer who moved to the DC area in April 2018 from Los Angeles. I have a very active toddler and a great husband. I really don't have spare time, 'cause I'm a mom, but I like to read and watch shows. I'm also a true crime addict!

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Where Babies Come From, According to Kids

by Shahrzad Warkentin

At one point or another, every parent must face the dreaded question: where do babies come from? For some lucky parents, avoiding the question is a little easier because their kids are already baby experts. Check out these hilarious quotes from real moms whose kids dropped some knowledge bombs on where babies come from.

Alternative choices.
“My 6 year old was fascinated to learn all about how babies grow. She took a very scientific view of the process, asking questions and seeking clarification. No emotions would interfere with her quest for knowledge. Until she discovered how the babies come out. Her response to that realization? ‘I think I’ll adopt.’”
—Jessica H.

They come in a 5 pack.
“My son asked if we could get him a baby girl. I asked him where he thought we could pick up a baby and he said Costco!”
—Katie S.

Don’t be silly, that’s not what vaginas are for!
“My son asked if all babies got “cut out” of mommies tummies. I explained that no, some women have c-sections and some babies come out another way. He asked how. I told him they come out through the mommy’s vagina….there was a long pause and then he burst out into hysterical laughter, ‘mommy that’s ridiculous!’”
—Justine F.

The student becomes the teacher.
“When my oldest was 6, I was pregnant and so we told him, in a kid version, how babies were made and all about pregnancy. We used the correct terms. Well, at school one day a little girl said something about how babies grew in the tummy. My son corrected her and the class ended up having a lesson/discussion about pregnancy.”
—Heather W.

Give it a few years.
“My husband is a doctor so with all the anatomy books laying about they know EXACTLY where babies come from. Finally told my 9 yr old how babies are made and his response was “that is gross”.
—Nicole T.

What’s for lunch?
“When I was pregnant, my daughter wondered how a baby got into my belly so she asked me if I ate the baby.”
—Diane W.

Just google it.
“My daughter knows exactly where babies come from. She googled it on her brain pop jr. app. Although, she is still quite confused how ‘the sperm cell just JUMPED from Daddy to Mommy’s uh-ter-us (uterus) and noooobody saw it….’ (we tell her it was a very small cell and probably happened at night when it was dark).”
—Alison D.

K-I-S-S-I-N——Baby!
“My 6 year old thought you get married, kiss and then have a baby. We went to a friend’s wedding and awhile after she asked if they had a baby, I told her no and she said ‘but I saw them kiss!!!’”
—Sandra B.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? A baby!
“My older child knew babies were carried in a special place inside of a mommy, but hadn’t asked how they came out yet. One day, he asked me if he could look at my belly button. It was an odd request, but sure. It’s a belly button. He looked, thanked me, and made a kinda perplexed noise as he turned to walk off. Then I hear him mutter as he walked off, ‘…but there’s no door!’ It took me a second, then it hit me. He somehow had worked out in his head, without asking how babies came out, that women had a door in their bellies.”
—Jayme H.

Have your kids had the baby talk with you yet? Tell us what you learned in the comments.

 

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