Being bullied has taught me a lot over the years. Lessons learned in childhood run deep and last long. We learn to not be noticed. That we must try to fit in. That certain people and places and situations are hazardous. That being different is a sin.

But it is not only the things that children do to one another that cause harm. Some of the things that adults say to children about bullying hurt the most. These remarks may be intended to help the bullied child, but at times they do as much damage as the bullying itself.

Chief among the responses to bullying that adults come up with is “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is a profound lie, as any bullied child knows. Oh, there are sticks and stones, even literal ones. As a third-grader I had rocks thrown at me and countless children have experienced physical bullying—pushing, tripping, hitting and more.

But words are more than capable of hurting just as much. There are forms of bullying other than physical – emotional, social, racial, sexual. But these forms of bullying are much less visible than the physical kind. If the grown-ups responsible for the care and well-being of the child don’t see bruises or bloody noses, they may think no harm has occurred.

Socially or emotionally bullied children are often told “Don’t be so sensitive.” And it may be true that less sensitive children do not feel the effects of cruel words as drastically. But the underlying message is that there is something wrong with the bullied child – excessive sensitivity. And this is not something that children can change about themselves. It’s like telling a person not to be so tall.

Another piece of advice commonly given to bullied children is, “Just ignore them.” If becoming less sensitive is impossible, even more so is ignoring bullies. Bullies are in-your-face. It’s almost impossible to ignore insults and injuries, derisive chants or laughter. Humiliation is not something that can simply be shrugged off. Bullies rejoice in having an audience for their abuse. It’s beyond hard to ignore a room or playground of kids (or teens), all of whom have witnessed your victimization.

Similarly, bullied children are told, “Other people’s opinions don’t matter.” Again, this is a lie. Of course they do. The opinions of a child’s peers control whether other children feel safe being friends with a bully’s victim. Their opinions determine whether a child will be lonely or despised or will develop self-esteem. Bullies affect the opinions of other children and make the circle of bullies and bystanders wider. Other people’s opinions make wide ripples.

Bullied children often hear, “Toughen up.” Again, this is an assignment given with no clue as to how it is to be accomplished. It may even be misinterpreted as tacit permission to become a bully too. After all, bullies are tough. And the saying, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” may come into play. Naturally, this only expands the number of bullies and can victimize other children. A bullied child who becomes a bully may experience not a sense of empowerment but a sense of guilt.

Another common reaction to bullying is to encourage or even to coach a child in fighting back physically. This has little chance of working if the bully is physically larger than the victim and takes a lot of practice if it is to work at all. In addition it teaches children that violence is an appropriate solution to a problem. If the bullying has been emotional or social rather than physical, the bullied child is also likely to get in trouble for striking back in a literal manner.

The problem is that the bullied child is not the problem. He or she does not need to change or be changed. The bully is the one who is demonstrating unacceptable behavior and needs to be stopped. Bystanders are bullying enablers and need to learn how to support and intervene instead.

There are no simple solutions to bullying, which will likely continue as long as children are children, though with awareness of the problem and concerted efforts on the part of adults, it may someday lessen and be less acceptable and less accepted.

But whatever the solution is, it is clearly not to tell the bullied child lies.

Hi! I'm a freelance writer and editor who writes about education, books, cats and other pets, bipolar disorder, and anything else that interests me. I live in Ohio with my husband and a varying number of cats.

If you grew up oogling over Cher Horowitz’ Clueless closet, this new collab from HipDot is for you. The makeup company has partnered with the Paramount Pictures hit to bring the ultimate collection that will take you straight back to the 90’s.

The Hipdot x Clueless Collection drops on May 11 and is packed with everything from eyeshadows and blush, to lip oil sets. The entire line is an homage to Cher and the gang, with plaid packaging and pre-2000 era cell phones.

The collab includes

  • The 411 Eyeshadow Palette ($32): 12 shades that include Highly Selective, Botticelli, Classic, Full-On Monet, The Valley, Homies, Phat, Totally Paused, Fashion Victim, Pretty Groovy, Doll Face, Whatever!
  • Total Bettys Lip Oil Set ($24): Includes three moisturizing tinted lip oils in red, nude and mauve
  • Totally Clueless Blush Palette ($26): Includes 4 shades
  • Clueless Collection Bundle ($82): Includes The 411 Eyeshadow Palette, the Total Bettys Lip Oil Set and the Totally Clueless Blush Palette.
  • Cher’s Locker Set Box ($108): Includes Total Bettys Lip Oil Set, the 411 Eyeshadow Palette, the Totally Clueless Blush Palette, and a collectible HipDot x Clueless pink fluffy pen packed in the Limited Edition Clueless Collector’s Box.

Like all HipDot products, the products in the HipDot x Clueless collection are vegan and cruelty-free, as well as free of parabens, talc, mineral oil, phthalates, and other harmful ingredients. For more information and to shop the Clueless collection, please visit Hipdot.com or Ulta.com and follow @hipdot on Instagram.

 

––Karly Wood

All photos: Courtesy of HipDot

 

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February is Black History Month, a time to remember, recognize, honor, and reflect on the achievements of Black Americans. We’re talking about history-defining people like Harriet Tubman, a slave who led other slaves to freedom through the Underground Railroad; Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks, who fought for equality in America; and Barack Obama, the first Black president of the United States.

Throughout the month of February, we’ll be sharing stories about Black leaders who’ve broken barriers, fought for equal rights, and made significant impacts throughout the history of the United States. This week, we begin with five young Black female leaders changing the world and making history.

1. Amanda Gorman (Poet, Author & Activist)
Amanda Gorman is a twenty-two-year-old poet whose poems touch upon race, feminism, and oppression. In 2017, Amanda Gorman became the first US National Youth Laureate—a title that’s given to one person who has shown mastery of poetry and/or the spoken word and advocates for social justice. In 2021, she recited an original poem at the US presidential inauguration, becoming the youngest-known person ever to achieve this. Her poem, “The Hill We Climb,” painted both the pain of the past and hope for the future. —By the Library of Congress, LOC, Public Domain

2. Mari Copeny (Clean Water Activist & Women’s March Ambassador)
When she was just eight years old, she wrote to then-president Barack Obama about the toxic water that was running through the pipes of her city, Flint, Michigan. In her letter, she asked that President Obama visit her city and lift people’s spirits. The president did visit and eventually declared a state of emergency for the toxic water crisis in Flint. Mari has continued to fight for clean water and has raised funds to support kids in need across the country. —Created by Hillel Steinberg via @Flickr CC by 2.0

3. Naomi Wadler (Anti-Gun Activist)
In 2018, Naomi Wadler led an eighteen-minute walkout at her elementary school in support of the March For Our Lives protests that were happening around the country. This protest represented the seventeen victims of the Parkland school shooting and the one African American girl who was a victim of gun violence at her school in Alabama. She later spoke in front of a massive crowd at the March For Our Lives rally In Washington, DC, and asked the country to remember the Black women and girls who are victims of gun violence, but who are often left out of newspapers. —Naomi WadlerTribeca Disruptive Innovation, CC BY-SA 3.0  via Wikimedia Commons

4. Marley Dias (Author & Activist)
In 2015, Marley Dias founded the campaign #1000BlackGirlBooks because she couldn’t find books where the main character looked like her. That had to change. She set up a book drive and a goal of collecting one thousand books where the main protagonist was female and Black. Since then, she’s expanded her efforts internationally and has written books herself. —Marley Dias by WBLS 107.5 NYC, CC by 3.0

5. Yara Shahidi (Actress & Activist)
Yara Shahidi may be a household name because of her recurring role on Black-ish and Grown-ish, but it’s her time away from the set that’s perhaps propelled her into an even bigger spotlight. From getting young people out to vote through her Eighteen x 18 initiative or speaking out on social justice issues, she’s using her star power to make a difference. —Yara Shahidi ColliderVideo, CC by 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

 

This post originally appeared on Xyza: News for Kids.
Photo: Wikimedia commons
Joann Suen & Sapna Satagopan
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

We're two perfectly imperfect moms who have five very different kids between the two of us. We believe that topics in news are a fantastic way to spark conversations in families. That's why we started the Dinner Table Conversation series here at Xyza: News for Kids. Won't you join us in the conversation? 

Amazon Prime Day is over, but we’re now in full holiday shopping mode. Since studies show that Americans will be spending the same, if not more, this year on gifts, it’s high time to take advantage of that Amazon Prime membership you have.

In addition to free two-day shipping, there are a number of other deals the membership has to offer. Keep scrolling to see them all, then get shopping!

Share Your Membership with Family

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Amazon Prime members can share their membership with another adult and up to four teens and kiddos in your household. Each person has their own log in (so you can keep purchases a secret) but parents can also monitor each profile.

Ask Alexa for Extra Discounts

Alexa, what are my deals? You can check in with your fave virtual assistant on Alexa-enabled devices at any time and she'll share all the Prime-exclusive deals with you, which you can add directly to you cart (or later, if you want). 

Get Early Access to Deals

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Ever wonder what "Prime Early Access" means on that product you've been eying? Early deals! Prime members can access sales 30 minutes before non-Prime members to snag items before everyone else.

Get Safe Package Delivery

Amazon

No one wants to fall victim to package theft and Key by Amazon allows delivery employees to drop them safely in your garage or home. When you use Key, you get notified of every step of delivery, receive a video receipt and have the ability to monitor the delivery.

Get Groceries in a Few Hours

Amazon

Busy parents will love the option to get groceries same day. While not every item or area is available, many are––including pet food. Just head to primenow.amazon.com to check your eligibility. 

Choose your Own Delivery Date

Amazon

Prime Members can take advantage of Amazon Day, where you can select a specific day for deliveries to reduce the risk of theft. You even have the option to have orders placed on different days come on the same day, too!

Track Packages with Your Echo

Amazon

Check in on your Echo devices by asking "Alexa, where's my package?" and you'll get a delivery estimate. You'll know your order has arrived when your Echo's ring pulses yellow. 

––Karly Wood

 

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“You know why kids bully? Because adults bully. But no one wants to have that conversation.”  — Lauryn Mummah McGaster

I saw this pass-along on Facebook the other day and decided that I did want to have the conversation. When we think about bullies, we usually think about kids bullying other kids—classically, stealing their lunch money or more recently, tormenting them for being perceived as different.

And what do we say when that happens? Kids can be mean. Kids can be cruel. Kids have no respect. In other words, the problem arises in the kids themselves. They shape the victimization of others, presumably out of thin air.

But let’s stop a minute. We know that kids learn what they see adults do. They learn to talk and walk. They learn to swear and belittle. The walking and talking may be hardwired into humans, but the rest is clearly learning by imitation.

But adults aren’t bullies, really. They don’t go around stealing lunch money and certainly not in front of their kids.

You might be surprised, but adult bullying happens a lot at work. Belittling and humiliation seem to go with business just as much as board meetings and yearly reviews. Not all workplaces are toxic, of course, but almost every one contains a group of gossips or a clique that excludes others just like children do in the cafeteria. They yell at underlings. They sexually harass others. They steal credit for others’ accomplishments and boast about it.

But wait, you say, children seldom if ever come to where their parents work and see them behave this way. How can they be learning to bully from them?

Bullying behavior starts with an attitude, a sentiment that there are winners and losers in life and the winners have the right (or even the duty) to lord it over the losers. Think about how many people were influenced by the “looking out for #1” philosophy.

Adults carry these attitudes home with them. Children pick up on them. Think about what adults do and say in front of their kids, even—or maybe especially—when they don’t know the kids are within earshot. They vent about their neighbors and their bosses. They use words like “b*tch” and “bastard” and worse. They talk about their day and how “stupid” some co-worker was or how they “felt like smacking” the customer service representative.

And think about what adults say when their children are being bullied. Often the response is, “If he hits you, hit him right back. Show him you’re the boss.” This perpetuates the “winners and losers” scenario and sometimes leaves the “loser” with a desire to victimize someone even “lesser.”

Worst of all, think about how often adults bully children. There are too many children who are badly abused, hit and kicked and belittled by their parents. These cases sometimes get reported to Children’s Services.

Those are the extreme cases, however. Seldom does a single slap or two get reported. Telling a child that he or she is “no good” or “stupid” or even “a big disappointment” never gets reported at all. Some adults use humiliation, name-calling, and fear, all in the name of discipline and good behavior. Some pit one child against another, praising the “good” child and condemning the other. Some blame and shame ruthlessly.

They may think they are raising obedient children, but they are showing them through actions, words, and even tone of voice what it is to be a bully or a victim and how often bullying succeeds. The essence of bullying is that one person has actual or perceived power over another and uses that power in toxic ways. Think about how much power adults have over children and how seldom they consider how to use that power wisely.

This is certainly not to say that all adults abuse their power or their children. But when you look at children’s behavior, it’s hard not to see a reflection of the environment in which they were raised.

Bullies don’t just happen. They learn.

Hi! I'm a freelance writer and editor who writes about education, books, cats and other pets, bipolar disorder, and anything else that interests me. I live in Ohio with my husband and a varying number of cats.

Photo: via Yelp

Oh, IKEA. My 13-year-old anxiously awaited her chance to wander the aisles of the furniture store after her younger sister, some weeks back, took approximately 547 photos of items she wanted to add to their future she-shed. We arrived early, eager to check in the 5 and 6-year-olds we brought along (given no other option), to the amazing kid zone so we could go through IKEA as quickly as humanly possible before having to retrieve the younger siblings. After the disappointing realization that the kid zone was not open, we reluctantly took the youngest kids with us on the maze of adorable room inspirations and wallet shrinking adventure.

We passed through the seven layers of the wood furniture forest and into the farthest reach of the store when the 6-year-old gives me the look of desperation and says ” I have to poop!” I exclaim, “Can you wait a few more minutes?” She assures me she cannot absolutely wait at all, not even one more tiny second. I give instructions to the teenager to stay in the adorable modern living room design #24 and wait for me while I retrace the many miles back to a bathroom. IKEA, why are there no bathrooms in the showroom??? I’ve never played football, but I imagine I am a linebacker pushing through crowds of people as I run the opposite way of those IKEA arrows with my 6-year-old whining in tow.

If you know me, directions are really not a strong suit for me. It is sort of like a foreign language. In fact, my husband has threatened multiple times to revoke my passenger seat privileges or send me to “map school” if I cannot be of more help to him while he is driving. So inevitably, I get lost. I pass every single layer of IKEA; from odd children toy department to plastic plant paradise to furniture that functions as a bed, desk, and closet all in one before finally finding the registers. I shove my way through crowds and discover the line that has formed outside of the bathroom. Oh wait, I think to myself there are more restrooms by the entrance. I can see the entrance now, but how do you get over there? You have to follow the yellow brick road of torture all the way around the store again to get to it.

My child is sweating and near tears. I do not help the situation as I yell-whisper that this is her fault as she didn’t give me decent notice of her predicament. I channel my inner husband and his direction skills and make it in record time through the arrow maze and reach the oasis of a bathroom. My child feels instant relief and smiles up at me wondering what the big deal was and why her mom reacted like a crazy person.

I have time to calm down, feel that familiar pang of parent guilt about the yelling and vow to do better the next time. Thankfully kid zone is now open. I beg the lady to save me two spots while I rush back through the maze to find my teen angel and 5-year-old still waiting patiently for me. We drop the children off, plan our 45 minutes of bliss and begin the trek through the store again!

It feels like I’ve run a marathon both physically and mentally, but we survived. The teen found many suitable items for her she-shed all nicely packed in tiny boxes. “Why is everything in boxes?” she innocently asks. It’s IKEA, dear, so yes, everything is packed in nice little boxes with impossible directions, one tiny wrench and a promise to never you’ll never fall victim to this again.

But I know I will do it again. The lure of tiny rooms will bring me back once again with hope the trip will go smoothly and be filled with memories. Memories that make me smile, laugh, give us stories for years to come. Until next time, IKEA.

I am a part-time teacher, CHP wife, mom to 5 kids biological and adopted, ranging in ages from 14-5. I love friends, trailering, fun dinner parties, booze, exercising ( because booze) and being with my family. In my spare time....ha ha ha ha!

Photo: Kristin Van de Water

“Are there any new presents under the tree?” chirped my daughter the moment she bounded through the door after school. “Are these all the presents we’re going to get?” she asked, re-inspecting the loot and grumbling, “Why does Zachary get the biggest gifts?”

Fifteen minutes after school pickup—and I already needed a mommy timeout. I can’t stand seeing materialism brainwash my daughter, leaving an ungrateful heart in its wake.

During gifting seasons, my daughter shows an utter lack of gratitude for the bounty before her. Even when she unwraps something on her wish list, she blurts out, “I don’t like Legos…I wish I had the purple one…Did I get any money? Can I pick out anything on the computer?”

Thankfully, my daughter’s fascination with gifts isn’t limited to receiving them. Her favorite activity is wrapping up toys and odds and ends from around the apartment and presenting them to friends and siblings. Last week, my daughter gave one such gift to her classmate and then saw how sad that friend’s little sister was upon not receiving a gift of her own. My daughter was so distraught with the situation she spent several hours that weekend wrapping up trinkets in various boxes and taping them together into the shape of a bird to present it to the little sister.

You can imagine the delight shared by both parties when Monday’s playdate rolled around. These sweet gifting rituals amongst playmates have nothing to do with monetary value. It’s about the surprise, thought, anticipation, unwrapping, and reciprocation.

After witnessing this joyful exchange, I reassessed my resentful perspective on the central role of gifting during a season that’s about so much more. I threw out my previous assumption that my daughter was a victim to materialism and considered the possibility that gifting was simply her way of feeling emotionally connected to others. In other words, gifts are her love language.

Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively, explains that people feel loved in five primary ways, called love languages:

  1. Acts of Service
  2. Quality Time
  3. Physical Touch
  4. Words of Affirmation
  5. Gifts

While all kids love gifts, some enjoy snuggles or a special family outing just as much as physical presents. That’s the case for three of my four kids. But for my 7-year-old daughter, gifts are her primary love language.

Because receiving gifts ranks lowest on my list of how I feel loved, I’ve traditionally struggled to understand my daughter’s fascination with presents.

I feel loved through acts of service and physical touch. As a result, in my attempt to show motherly love, I default to taking care of my kids’ physical needs and showering them with hugs and kisses. But to a daughter who never snuggles deeper into a hug (if I tried to cuddle her as a baby, she would stretch out her legs to try to stand up), my actions are undoubtedly lost in translation.

“Notice how your child relates to you,” Chapman suggests. “Typically, kids show love in the way they’d like to receive it.”

My daughter is a prolific writer and crafter, creating books, cards, pictures, songs and paper treasures to gift to family and friends. She wrote two stories this afternoon and “published” them just in time to read aloud as bedtime stories—giggling all the way at her own jokes!

What joy! What a gift! It amazes me that I’m only now realizing that I should reciprocate. So, I brainstormed ideas on how to gift my daughter words of affirmation.

  • Tuck a note in her lunchbox: “You tell funny jokes! Here’s one of mine…”
  • Set up toys into a playful scene, labeled, “Good morning! We can’t wait to play with you!” so she sees it when she wakes up.
  • Say, “I love the way you draw! Could you teach me to draw a cute puppy?”
  • Stick a post-it on one of her in-progress stories. “I’m your biggest fan! Your stories are creative and fun to read.”
  • Write a thank-you note. “Thank you for breaking up your little sister’s tantrum with tickles and a story. You’re a great big sister!”

As fun as these ideas sound, this is another tricky area for me because words of affirmation rank second-lowest on my love language list. At first, I assumed that compliments would unhealthily puff up my daughter’s ego rather than teaching humility. I don’t want her to grow up feeling entitled or grow numb to praise. I also don’t want her to base her value on another’s verbal approval.

But then I looked at it through the lens of my own love language: acts of service. Just because I feel emotionally connected to my husband when I wake up to a basket of clean laundry doesn’t mean I’m overly dependent on others taking care of me.

Therefore, I shouldn’t lament my daughter’s fascination with gifts as a problem or dependency to be fixed, but rather as one unique facet of her personality.

Luckily for me, this means the joy of Christmastime giving doesn’t have to stop come January. I have a daughter who delights in thoughtful surprises throughout the year. I cherish those sweet good-morning notes slid under my door and look forward to loving her in ways that speak into her heart.

This doesn’t mean hugs and dinner prep should come to a full stop just because they are my love language, not hers. According to Chapman, “The goal is to give your child heavy doses of his or her primary love language while continuing to include the other four. This teaches the child how to receive and give love in all five languages.”

When my kids grow into adults who love on spouses and children of their own, I pray that they both know and show genuine, self-giving love—even if it sometimes feels like they must speak in a foreign language to make that happen.

Kristin Van de Water
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Kristin Van de Water is a former journalist and teacher who relies on humor, faith, and her mom crew to get her through the day. Raising four kids in a two-bedroom NYC apartment, Kristin is always on the lookout for life hacks to save time, space, money, and her sanity.

Since the world will never be completely free of bullies, the rest of us need to arm ourselves and our children with tools to mentally combat the abuse of bullying as much as possible.

One way to combat bullying is being mentally prepared ahead of time through intentional learning. Intentional learning is the persistent, continual process to acquire, understand, and use a variety of strategies to improve one’s ability to attain and apply knowledge.

Below are 5 cognitive tools to share with your child. Education is empowerment. Understanding a bully gives your child the emotional edge.

1. Understand the 3 types of bullying:

  1. Verbal bullying:  For example, name-calling, taunting, inappropriate comments, threatening to cause harm, etc.

  2. Social bullying/Relational bullying: This focuses on hurting someone’s reputation and relationships. It could be spreading rumors, telling others to specifically leave a person out of group activities, embarrassing someone in public/social media on purpose. It’s more common for women to use this type of bullying

  3. Physical bullying: Things like hitting, kicking, spanking, pulling hair, pinching skin, tripping someone on purpose, making obscene hand gestures, inappropriate touch etc. More than not, men are the ones who use this form of bullying.

Help them understand what constitutes bullying so they can identify it when it happens to them or a peer. Also, it’s important to know what bullying is so that your child doesn’t inadvertently do it; such as tickling someone even when they say stop (parents are notoriously bad at this…if your child tells you to stop please respect that so they learn “no means no”), snapping a girls bra strap, or even hugging someone who has told them before they don’t like being hugged. The intent may come from a kind and loving place, but if the other person doesn’t want it it can still be considered bullying.

2. Fake it til you make it. 

A mantra used by many from Hollywood celebrities to therapists in offices. There is a two-fold meaning. First, science has shown that acting differently can change how we feel about ourselves and even change our neural pathways (eg. Individuals with depression are sometimes suggested to act as if they aren’t depressed. Get up, go for a walk, make a healthy breakfast, etc. Many patients have found a decrease in depressive symptomatology when they do this.) Consequently, acting like a bully doesn’t scare you actually makes them seem to feel less scary and rewires your neural pathways toward courage instead of fear. Secondly, bullies feed off the fear of their victims and the responsive drama. Once they stop getting a dramatic response from their victim they often move on to someone.

3. Courage comes before confidence. 

Just like many others in the world, I too have been bullied. It isn’t easy facing people who treat us badly. That being said, some of the most empowering moments in my life came when I faced a person who was bullying me and I stood up for myself. Over time, I began standing up for others whose voice wasn’t as powerful as mine. With each encounter with a bully, I felt my confidence grow. Remember rule #2. Sometimes we have to fake our first acts of courage. Don’t doubt that confidence will follow. Even if you get punched in the face (like me) stand tall and walk away knowing it takes greater strength to do so than to fight. Share a story with your child(ren) about when you were courageous in the face of fear.

4. This isn’t about you. 

Remember, a bully’s actions do not reflect the worth of their victim. Whenever someone verbally attacks me I never take their words to heart because I’ve learned over time that their behaviors toward me reflect their own internal battle. It isn’t about me, it’s about them. I know it’s hard to not feel personally attacked…just reflect on a time when you lashed out at someone else in a moment of anger. The other person may have not even done anything to you (eg. unintentionally cuts you off in traffic) and yet you find yourself losing your mind on a stranger one car ahead of you. That driver didn’t deserve the anger you unleashed (they probably didn’t even hear it, which is good) yet you still released your own issues onto them. When someone is bullying your child, reminding your child that this abuse “isn’t about you” helps protect their developing ego/sense of self. Again, offer examples that are age appropriate for your child(ren).

5. Teach them who has their back.

Give your child(ren) phone numbers and names of people they can call as resources if they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation or need to talk to someone.  Knowing there are people in the world, aside from a parent, watching out for them gives your child a sense of community and belonging resulting in feelings of security and empowerment.

Bullies have been around forever so until there’s a time when there are fewer bullies, help protect your children by arming them with education. Knowledge is their power.

 

I am a 42-year-old biological mother of two young children in a same-sex relationship, a clinical psychologist with a specialty in neuropsychological assessment, a music therapist, a trainer of therapy dogs and ex-communicated Mormon from Indiana with a wicked sense of humor. 

One of the biggest challenges in any home is keeping everything neat and organized. When life gets busy, there just isn’t enough time to keep up with it all. The kitchen tends to be a top victim of disorganization. It serves as the main hub where families rush from activity to activity, eating meals in between. Washing dishes and unloading the dishwasher often occurs in a hurry. Things tend to get thrown into cabinets and drawers just to get them out of the way. Cabinets then become an overloaded mess.

Trying to find the right bowl or storage container turns into a treasure hunt. Let’s not even talk about trying to find a lid that fits! It can be incredibly frustrating to have to dig for the everyday items you need.

Multi-use tools, organizational concepts, nesting designs, and compact items can help keep even the busiest family’s kitchen organized. Another bonus is space saving. Who doesn’t need more room in their cabinets?

These fun products are incredibly functional and affordably priced. In addition, stylish designs and fun colors make these products must-have items for any kitchen small or large.

1. 9 Piece Nesting Bowl Set

This set has everything you need for mixing, straining and measuring, all in one compact nesting design. Simply take out the size bowl or measuring item you need and when done, just nest it back in place. Easy to clean, fun colors and compact, this set keeps essential items neatly stacked in one spot.

2. Unitool- 5 in 1 Kitchen Utensil

Five, yes FIVE uses with this space saving tool! You can literally cook entire meal using just this one utensil. Use it as a flipper, solid spoon, slotted spoon, spatula and a cutting edge. The ultimate in space saving, this will take up almost no room in your kitchen drawer.

3. Nesting Storage Container Set

The set comes with 4 different sized storage containers that fit perfectly inside of each other for ease of use and storage. What I love most about this product? Each container has a color coded lid corresponding with the matching dot on the bottom. No more guessing which lids fits! This amazing set makes food storage simple, and nests beautifully so that it takes up little room in your cabinet.

4. Wash & Drain

Compact, portable and totally functional, the wash and drain is a great addition to your kitchen. It is portable so you can take it with you where ever you need it. The plug allows you to fill the basin to soak dishes. When done with the washing, the plug serves as a strainer to filter out waste and food particles.

The Wash & Drain fits perfectly in any sink, making it super easy to soak pots, dishes and utensils. If ever you have cleaning needs in another room or outside, simply take it with you!

5. Nest Utensils Plus-5 Kitchen Utensils with Holder

These 5 utensils are a necessity for any meal preparation, but often take up a lot of space in a kitchen drawer or bulky utensil holder. The Nest Utensils Plus Set takes up almost zero counter space and keeps essential tools at your fingertips while working in the kitchen.

Complete with a solid spoon, slotted spoon, spaghetti server, slotted spatula, and ladle, these items nest together and hang beautifully in the stand for easy counter top access. Again, the fun colors are beautiful on any counter top without taking up precious counter space.

SIMPLIFY

Life is crazy enough as it is trying to keep up with a family. Opening your cabinets should not be a source of stress and aggravation. Organization makes life feel a little more manageable.

Happiness is: Knowing exactly where the pasta strainer is when you need it.

 

 

Hi, I’m Jennifer Farmer, an adventurer at heart.  As a mother of two young children, I seek out fun adventures and opportunities that connect families to nature and the outdoors. Follow my blog for fun, budget friendly ideas for your family. 

On the court and off in her biggest role as a mom, Serena Williams is a champ. She might be a very famous mom and tennis icon, but her views on motherhood and the challenges of balancing mom life and work are completely relatable and empowering.

Here are a few of our favorite inspiring quotes from this superstar mama.

On Work-Life Balance

“I still have to learn a balance of being there for her, and being there for me. I’m working on it. I never understood women before, when they put themselves in second or third place. And it’s so easy to do. It’s so easy to do.”

Learning how to take care of your own needs while caring for another human being can be challenging, but as they grow and become more independent it gets easier.

On the Terrible Twos

“They’re just kids who can’t really communicate and they don’t know how to—they’re so close and they want you to understand what they’re saying. And you don’t get what they’re saying, and then they fall on the ground and they don’t know what else to do. I feel sorry for them because I’m like, ‘I’m trying to understand what you’re saying’ and they literally learn our whole language—they learn everything from scratch—and we don’t learn their language, they learn ours. It’s a pretty amazing thing to me. I’m learning a lot.”

Her own mom warned her about the terrible twos, but this superstar is taking it in stride with an awesome point of view.

On the Hard Days

Speaking of her Wimbledon loss: “I dedicated that to all the moms out there who’ve been through a lot. Some days, I cry. I’m really sad. I’ve had meltdowns. It’s been a really tough 11 months. If I can do it, you guys can do it too.”

Not every moment of motherhood is easy or fun, but there’s always a new day waiting to wash away the stress and guilt of the day before.

On Being an Advocate for Working Moms

“It would be nice to recognize that women shouldn’t be treated differently because they take time to bring life into this world.”

The US Open changed their policies after Williams spoke out. The only way to create equality in the workplace is to make our voices heard and it’s inspiring to see her use her wide-reaching audience to advocate for moms.

On Societal Pressure

“I hated that I fell victim to that. It puts a lot of pressure on women, young and old.” 

All moms, but especially celebrity moms are given a lot of pressure to immediately return to their pre-pregnancy bodies.

On Her Living Room

“Sometimes I have to throw my hands in the air. #thismama used to have a living room. Now I just have a play room. When did that happen?”

Toys might take over your life, but it’s all worth it.

On the Challenging Moments

“Kids humble us. The other day on a flight home Olympia insisted on running up and down the aisle and when I finally got her to sit still, she threw up all over me.”

Motherhood is not easy, but Williams honesty about the challenges can help other moms feel like they’re not alone.

On Being Your Best Self

“Nothing about me is perfect. But I’m perfectly Serena.”

Learning to embrace yourself for who you are, flaws and all, is a difficult, but important lesson of motherhood.

—Shahrzad Warkentin

Featured photo: Serena Williams via Instagram

 

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