No matter how old your kids are, threatening or upsetting news can affect them emotionally. Many can feel worried, frightened, angry, or even guilty. And these anxious feelings can last long after the news event is over. So what can you do as a parent to help your kids deal with all this information? Here are a few tips for talking to kids about tragedy in the news.

 

Addressing News and Current Events: Tips for All Kids

Consider your own reactions. Your kids will look to the way you handle the news to determine their own approach. If you stay calm and rational, they will, too.

Take action. Depending on the issue and kids’ ages, families can find ways to help those affected by the news. Kids can write postcards to politicians expressing their opinions; families can attend meetings or protests; kids can help assemble care packages or donate a portion of their allowance to a rescue/humanitarian effort. Check out websites that help kids do good.

 

Tips for Kids under 7

Keep the news away. Turn off the TV and radio news at the top of the hour and half hour. Read the newspaper out of range of young eyes that can be frightened by the pictures (kids may respond strongly to pictures of other kids in jeopardy). Preschool kids don’t need to see or hear about something that will only scare them silly, especially because they can easily confuse facts with fantasies or fears.

Stress that your family is safe. At this age, kids are most concerned with your safety and separation from you. Try not to minimize or discount their concerns and fears, but reassure them by explaining all the protective measures that exist to keep them safe. If the news event happened far away, you can use the distance to reassure kids. For kids who live in areas where crime and violence is a very real threat, any news account of violence may trigger extra fear. If that happens, share a few age-appropriate tips for staying and feeling safe (being with an adult, keeping away from any police activity).

Be together. Though it’s important to listen and not belittle their fears, distraction and physical comfort can go a long way. Snuggling up and watching something cheery or doing something fun together may be more effective than logical explanations about probabilities.

 

Tips for Kids 8–12

Carefully consider your child’s maturity and temperament. Many kids can handle a discussion of threatening events, but if your kids tend toward the sensitive side, be sure to keep them away from the TV news; repetitive images and stories can make dangers appear greater, more prevalent, and closer to home.

Be available for questions and conversation. At this age, many kids will see the morality of events in stark black-and-white terms and are in the process of developing their moral beliefs. You may have to explain the basics of prejudice, bias, and civil and religious strife. But be careful about making generalizations, since kids will take what you say to the bank. This is a good time to ask them what they know, since they’ll probably have gotten their information from friends, and you may have to correct facts.

Talk about — and filter — news coverage. You might explain that even news programs compete for viewers, which sometimes affects content decisions. If you let your kids use the Internet, go online with them. Some of the pictures posted are simply grisly. Monitor where your kids are going, and set your URLs to open to non-news-based portals.

 

Tips for Teens

Check inSince, in many instances, teens will have absorbed the news independently of you, talking with them can offer great insights into their developing politics and their senses of justice and morality. It will also help you get a sense of what they already know or have learned about the situation from their own social networks. It will also give you the opportunity to throw your own insights into the mix (just don’t dismiss theirs, since that will shut down the conversation immediately).

Let teens express themselves. Many teens will feel passionately about events and may even personalize them if someone they know has been directly affected. They’ll also probably be aware that their own lives could be affected by violence. Try to address their concerns without dismissing or minimizing them. If you disagree with media portrayals, explain why so your teens can separate the mediums through which they absorb news from the messages conveyed.

 

Additional resources

For more information on how to talk to your kids about a recent tragedy, please visit the National Association of School Psychologists or the American Psychological Association. For more on how news can impact kids, check out News and America’s Kids: How Young People Perceive and Are Impacted by the News,

Marie-Louise Mares, Associate Professor in the Department of Communication Arts at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, contributed to this article.

Common Sense Media
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Common Sense Media is an independent nonprofit organization offering unbiased ratings and trusted advice to help families make smart media and technology choices. Check out our ratings and recommendations at www.commonsense.org.

Wedged between homework and fundraising forms in the kindergarten folder was a letter to parents: It advised us of an upcoming active shooter response drill. Words like armed intruder spread across sentences on school letterhead detailing the session for students. The following week, stuffed between readers, handwriting and math practice papers was a new note addressing the tragedy at the Tree of Life Synagogue, outlining activities the children would participate in to honor first responders and victims of the tragic event.

I found myself staring at the school papers, formulating a dialogue in my mind. A conversation difficult for adults alone, but now necessary to have with my daughter.

We cover things quickly—I’m lucky to get this five-year-old to sit and focus for just a few minutes. We discuss the ALICE acronym (alert, lockdown, inform, counter, evacuate), and she tells me what she’s responsible for during the event of an active shooting: “We run and hide, throw things at the bad guy and get out.” My stomach turns. Our local police officers equipped with firearms were unable to fully protect themselves from bullets sprayed by the shooter who injured and killed innocent people near Mr. Rogers’ real-life neighborhood—a tight-knit community located across a few steel bridges from us.

This talk is tough. I let her take the lead and let me know what she learned, chiming in with my own what would you do scenario. The most important element I ask my child to take away from our conversation is to always be aware of your surroundings. This message I will ingrain in her mind every time we arrive in a public place. “Look for exits and identify a quick and easy way out in case of emergency. Be aware of where you’re sitting, and if possible, never have your back to the main entrance.” Unsettling, right?

Our conversation isn’t long. She wants a snack and some crayons to color, bored by my big words and requests to repeat after me.

Hearts are heavy, and it’s hard not to notice the sadness surrounding the city of Pittsburgh. I’m shaken knowing my little girl is at school, bowing her head on the playground in a moment of silence. I’m unsure if she fully understands what is going on—reoccurring acts of gun violence are forcing her to grow up too soon.

Our children are being trained to defend themselves. The ALICE acronym is now as important as the ABCs. Our little ones are learning survival skills to run, hide and fight for their lives because dangerous people are hurting others with automatic weapons laws protect.

No matter how much we are divided on politics and personal rights, it’s small acts of kindness that cement us. Writing thank-you notes to first responders, delivering sympathy cards to family members grieving lost ones and donating blood to victims of gun violence show we love and support one another and the communities we live in. For those taking a stand against the evil of intolerance and hate growing around us at an alarming rate, I cannot help but think of Pat Benatar’s song “Invincible.” The battle cry chorus reminds me of every one of us echoing we are #StrongerThanHate.

“We can’t afford to be innocent / Stand up and face the enemy / It’s a do or die situation / We will be invincible.”

Originally published Nov. 2018.

As managing director of two children—19-months apart in age on purpose—Sara has hands-on experience in human development, specializing in potty pushing, breaking up baby fights and wrestling kids into car seats. When there's a moment to look away, she's writing for the web, blogging and building websites.

Some days we wish we could escape on a shiny red trolley to the Neighborhood of Make-believe, where a kind-hearted man in a zip-up sweater explains away all the scary things happening in the world. It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood when you remember these important words of wisdom. Read on for some of our favorite Fred Rogers quotes about kindness, compassion and empathy.

1. Fred Rogers on Strength

mrrogersmovie via Instagram

"Most of us, I believe, admire strength. It's something we tend to respect in others, desire for ourselves, and wish for our children. Sometimes, though, I wonder if we confuse strength and other words--like aggression and even violence. Real strength is neither male nor female; but is, quite simply, one of the finest characteristics that any human being can possess."

2. Fred Rogers on Important Historical Events

Dr. François S. Clemmons via Wikimedia Commons

"A high school student wrote to ask, 'What was the greatest event in American history?' I can't say. However, I suspect that like so many 'great' events, it was something very simple and very quiet with little or no fanfare (such as someone forgiving someone else for a deep hurt that eventually changed the course of history). The really important 'great' things are never center stage of life's dramas; they're always 'in the wings.' That's why it's so essential for us to be mindful of the humble and the deep rather than the flashy and the superficial."

3. Fred Rogers on Humankind

"One of the greatest dignities of humankind is that each successive generation is invested in the welfare of each new generation."

4. Fred Rogers on Forgiveness

"Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life's important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives."

5. Fred Rogers on Sharing Responsibility

"We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It's easy to say, 'It's not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.' Then there are those who see the need and respond. I consider those people my heroes."

6. Fred Rogers on Seeing Scary Things on the News

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers--so many caring people in this world."

7. Fred Rogers on Saying "Yes"

"I hope you're proud of yourself for the times you've said 'yes,' when all it meant was extra work for you and was seemingly helpful only to somebody else."

8. Fred Rogers on Embracing Our Feelings

"There's no 'should' or 'should not' when it comes to having feelings. They're part of who we are and their origins are beyond our control. When we can believe that, we may find it easier to make constructive choices about what to do with those feelings."

9. Fred Rogers on Facing Sadness & Anger

"Confronting our feelings and giving them appropriate expression always takes strength, not weakness. It takes strength to acknowledge our anger, and sometimes more strength yet to curb the aggressive urges anger may bring and to channel them into nonviolent outlets. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it."

10. Fred Rogers on What Makes Us Special

"As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has—or ever will have—something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression."

11. Fred Rogers on Love

"Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now."

12. Fred Rogers on Being True to Yourself

"One of the greatest gifts you can give anybody is the gift of your honest self. I also believe that kids can spot a phony a mile away."

13. Fred Rogers on What Matters Most

"What matters isn't how a person's inner life finally puts together the alphabet and numbers of his outer life. What really matters is whether he uses the alphabet for the declaration of a war or the description of a sunrise--his numbers for the final count at Buchenwald or the specifics of a brand-new bridge."

Now head out into the world and make a snappy new day for yourself.

 

I was talking to a mom the other day—let’s call her Beth—who shared with me a daycare horror story. Beth put her daughter in a daycare near her home that looked quaint. As a new mom, she didn’t know any other parents who had sent their children there but she was in a crunch to find childcare before she returned to work and this place was affordable, convenient, and had an opening. Within a few weeks of her daughter starting at the daycare she saw some red flags—one day she picked her child up with a dirty diaper, other days her child seemed excessively hungry, and sometimes the childcare provider was not forthcoming with details about her daughter’s day.

Ultimately she decided to take a costly leave of absence from work and figure out a better childcare situation. She later found out that there had been complaints filed against the daycare and their license was in the process of being suspended. She felt fortunate she intervened when she did and had the means to take a leave from work. She asked me how parents prevent these situations from happening in the first place.

Finding high-quality childcare is top of mind for working parents and it’s not easy to figure out how to navigate the process, especially as a new parent. But you don’t have to leave the situation up to chance and prayer.

Here are five things you can do as a parent to empower yourself and ensure you’re placing your child in a safe and loving environment.

Get parental approval

If you don’t know parents first-hand that have sent their children to a daycare provider, then ask the provider for references and call them. The more information on a facility or individual, the more comfortable you will feel leaving your children in their care. My company, Winnie, recently compiled a free database of every daycare and preschool, starting with San Francisco where you can get information about the provider, reviews from parents and other critical safety info like the adult to child ratio. We did this because we want to equip parents with the information they need to ensure their child’s well-being and make life easier for working moms & dads.

Check the licensing database

Did you know that there’s a licensing database when you can find information about all licensed daycares and preschools in the United States? If it’s a daycare, even an in-home provider, look at the licensing database. All licensed daycares and preschools are inspected regularly and these inspections are public information. You can also see if any complaints have been filed against the school and even subscribe to updates in case their licensing status changes.

Visit and ask questions

Ask to visit the provider, ideally while children are present. This will give you a feel for their st‌yle and if it jibes with yours. Ask questions to understand how the provider communicates with parents, what the physical environment is like (e.g. is it childproofed? Is it clean?) and what children do as a day-to-day routine.

Check their safety procedures

One thing that’s very predictable about children is that they are unpredictable. Accidents and emergencies happen so you want to ensure your provider is trained and prepared for the worst. Check the basics like training in first aid and CPR but also understand their policies around illness, evacuation procedures, and vaccines. Finally, you’ll want to really understand their philosophy around discipline. The most important thing for a childcare provider is that they have lots of patience and never resort to harsh language or violence with your child.

Trust your gut

Even if everything looks great on paper and checks out, you have to trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right to you, you need to act like Beth did and pull your child out of the daycare until you sort the situation out. Beth didn’t have a lot of information to go on at the time, but she acted swiftly and prevented the situation from getting worse.

Short mom to tall kids. CEO and co-founder of Winnie, a leading marketplace for daycare and preschool helping millions of parents across the United States. Still getting the gist of this whole parenting thing.

Being bullied has taught me a lot over the years. Lessons learned in childhood run deep and last long. We learn to not be noticed. That we must try to fit in. That certain people and places and situations are hazardous. That being different is a sin.

But it is not only the things that children do to one another that cause harm. Some of the things that adults say to children about bullying hurt the most. These remarks may be intended to help the bullied child, but at times they do as much damage as the bullying itself.

Chief among the responses to bullying that adults come up with is “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is a profound lie, as any bullied child knows. Oh, there are sticks and stones, even literal ones. As a third-grader I had rocks thrown at me and countless children have experienced physical bullying—pushing, tripping, hitting and more.

But words are more than capable of hurting just as much. There are forms of bullying other than physical – emotional, social, racial, sexual. But these forms of bullying are much less visible than the physical kind. If the grown-ups responsible for the care and well-being of the child don’t see bruises or bloody noses, they may think no harm has occurred.

Socially or emotionally bullied children are often told “Don’t be so sensitive.” And it may be true that less sensitive children do not feel the effects of cruel words as drastically. But the underlying message is that there is something wrong with the bullied child – excessive sensitivity. And this is not something that children can change about themselves. It’s like telling a person not to be so tall.

Another piece of advice commonly given to bullied children is, “Just ignore them.” If becoming less sensitive is impossible, even more so is ignoring bullies. Bullies are in-your-face. It’s almost impossible to ignore insults and injuries, derisive chants or laughter. Humiliation is not something that can simply be shrugged off. Bullies rejoice in having an audience for their abuse. It’s beyond hard to ignore a room or playground of kids (or teens), all of whom have witnessed your victimization.

Similarly, bullied children are told, “Other people’s opinions don’t matter.” Again, this is a lie. Of course they do. The opinions of a child’s peers control whether other children feel safe being friends with a bully’s victim. Their opinions determine whether a child will be lonely or despised or will develop self-esteem. Bullies affect the opinions of other children and make the circle of bullies and bystanders wider. Other people’s opinions make wide ripples.

Bullied children often hear, “Toughen up.” Again, this is an assignment given with no clue as to how it is to be accomplished. It may even be misinterpreted as tacit permission to become a bully too. After all, bullies are tough. And the saying, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” may come into play. Naturally, this only expands the number of bullies and can victimize other children. A bullied child who becomes a bully may experience not a sense of empowerment but a sense of guilt.

Another common reaction to bullying is to encourage or even to coach a child in fighting back physically. This has little chance of working if the bully is physically larger than the victim and takes a lot of practice if it is to work at all. In addition it teaches children that violence is an appropriate solution to a problem. If the bullying has been emotional or social rather than physical, the bullied child is also likely to get in trouble for striking back in a literal manner.

The problem is that the bullied child is not the problem. He or she does not need to change or be changed. The bully is the one who is demonstrating unacceptable behavior and needs to be stopped. Bystanders are bullying enablers and need to learn how to support and intervene instead.

There are no simple solutions to bullying, which will likely continue as long as children are children, though with awareness of the problem and concerted efforts on the part of adults, it may someday lessen and be less acceptable and less accepted.

But whatever the solution is, it is clearly not to tell the bullied child lies.

Hi! I'm a freelance writer and editor who writes about education, books, cats and other pets, bipolar disorder, and anything else that interests me. I live in Ohio with my husband and a varying number of cats.

The classic cat and mouse duo is coming back to TV in a whole new way! Tom and Jerry Time reinvents the original animated series for preschoolers, combining familiar fun antics with early learning concepts. It’s part of the new Cartoonito preschool programming block available now on HBO Max and Cartoon Network.

Tom and Jerry appear in a series of animated musical shorts in a cheerful spin on the cartoon character rivalry. Instead of engaging in the over-the-top violence of the past, the duo keeps it kid-friendly with chases, pranks and plenty of outsmarting. Tom represents confidence and resilience while Jerry showcases ingenuity and courage, skills that will serve your growing kid well!

“Based on the beloved classic that so many parents grew up with, Tom and Jerry Time introduces a whole new generation to these iconic characters with a fresh and original take,” said Amy Friedman, Head of Kids and Family Programming, Warner Bros. “For our youngest audience, Sam Register and his team at Warner Bros. Animation managed to keep all the playful hijinks, drop all the cartoon violence, and add the most delightful early childhood learning through song and story.”

Produced by Warner Bros. Animation, you’ll be able to watch the new show on Cartoonito through HBO Max and Cartoon Network. The preschool block features 20 new series including Thomas & Friends: All Engines Go and Batwheels. Visit Cartoonito’s official site to get more info and start watching!

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Warner Bros. Animation

 

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Even tweens can find something on this list

If you’ve got a dinosaur-obsessed kid at home, we’ve got the ultimate list of movies just for you. From classics like The Land Before Time to documentaries like Walking with Dinosaurs, there’s something for everyone. Scroll down to see our top picks for the best dinosaur movies for kids.

Bob the Builder: Big Dino Dig Movie

Amazon

Ideal for tots who love Bob the Builder and dinosaurs. There is nothing scary, kids watch the characters work together to build an amusement park and see what happens when they dig up some dinosaur bones! The catchy song at the end will have little kids up and moving, too. 

Rated NR

Recommended for kids ages 3 & up.

Dinosaur Train: Dinosaur Big City (2011)

Amazon

A sweet movie that’s a spin-off of the popular PBS series. Kids will learn about dinosaurs in a fun and educational way, and they’ll also get a sense of community and social responsibility when they watch the diverse group of dinosaurs working together. 

Rated: G

Recommended for kids ages 3 & up.

The Land Before Time (1988)

IMDb

The classic dino movie you loved as a kid is just as sweet for kids today. Follow Littlefoot and his friends as they try to reach the Great Valley, all while outsmarting the scary Sharptooth, escaping volcanos and earthquakes and being separated from family. There may be some tears when Littlefoot’s mom dies, so be ready to explain things to your littlest viewers. There are over 10 more sequels, but the original is by far the best. 

Rated G

Recommended for ages 5 & up.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)

IMDb

Dawn of the Dinosaurs is the third installment of the Ice Age series. This is the first one offered in 3D and is a little bit more intense than the previous two films. Sid gets the gang into trouble (no surprise there) when he swipes three eggs, and they turn out to belong to a T-Rex mama. This third film focuses more on action than friendship, but it’s still a lot of fun and will appeal to both preschoolers and older kids. 

Rated PG

Recommended for kids ages 6 & up.

We’re Back! A Dinosaur Story (1993)

IMDb

In this ‘90s film, a set of prehistoric animals are given a dose of magic cereal that gives them the ability to talk, and then, via a time machine, they're taken to modern-day New York City. Filled with a quality cast that includes John Goodman, Walter Kronkite, Julia Child, Martin Short and others, this film is best for older kids who understand the difference between real and pretend violence. There’s a spooky villain, the dinosaurs go “native” for a time, and the child protagonists are transformed, but ultimately, this is a fun flick for dino lovers. 

Rated G

Recommended for ages 7 & up.

The Good Dinosaur (2015)

IMDb

Arlo the Apatosaurus makes an unlikely friendship with a little cave boy in this visually stunning Pixar film. The pair will have to fight against some scary forces of nature (think flooding, waterfalls, carnivorous dinosaurs) on their journey, and the advanced animation will make this movie seem more realistic, especially to younger kids. 

Rated PG

Recommended for kids 8 & up.

Dinosaur (2000)

IMDb

This Disney film is visually stunning but can be extremely scary at times. Several of the featured dinosaurs battle to the death, and even with the comic-relief lemurs, this is a good choice for older kids. 

Rated PG

Recommended for kids 8 & up.

Walking with Dinosaurs (1999)

Wikipedia

Following up on the success of Jurassic Park, this six-part BBC series is made in documentary form with impressive CGI animation. Narrator Kenneth Branagh takes viewers on an educational but entertaining journey that covers all things dinosaur in a factual way that's easy for kids to understand. The series spans the globe, featuring dinosaur hot spots like Chile, Tasmania and New Caledonia, among others, while following the evolution of the prehistoric creatures from their known beginning to their demise.

Rated NR

Recommended for kids ages 9 & up.

 

It’s easier than ever to support Asian-owned businesses online, thanks to a new initiative from Target. The retailer just announced a badge that identifies Asian-owned brands and they’re spotlighting these products online as Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month continues.

Whether you’re looking for coconut chips or a new children’s book, you can find the badge in the “At A Glance” section of the product description. It accompanies two other badges that Target has released in the past year: a Black-owned business badge and a women-owned business badge. And it’s in line with the company’s mission to leverage change and shift power to communities, as noted in March on the Target Foundation page.

“We stand firmly against racism, racialized misogyny, and xenophobia in all forms. Through our existing approach in driving systems-level change, we are committed to centering equity and investing in Black, Indigenous, and Person of Color-led (BIPOC) organizations. As part of our commitment to action against hate, we are investing $250,000 in organizations led by Asian Americans, working to empower the Asian American community, addressing gender-based violence and xenophobia, and advancing justice.”

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Target

 

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Photo: Veena Crownholm

One of the biggest questions that have come up with the recent hate crimes against the AAPI community is how to raise anti-racist kids. While there is no one right way to do it, there are a plethora of ways to model inclusivity and teach kids the importance of diversity.

Have Frequent Honest Conversations With Your Kids

From a young, impressionable age, educate your kids about diversity and inclusion by having frequent conversations that recognize and celebrate differences. Many parents are surprised at how helpful simply talking about diversity and inclusion can be, and how non-judgemental kids really are. Just last week, I was talking to my 10-year-old about different minority groups and I was blown away. He said he doesn’t care what skin color someone is, where someone lives, what gender they identify with or who they love as long as they were kind, fun, and a good friend. It’s truly that simple. We are born without judgment. Hate and bigotry is something we are taught or modeled, so it really comes down to setting a good example.

Help Your Kids Process Their Feelings 

Much like you would process an internal family conflict, a disappointing event at school, or a bad grade, it’s important for parents to help kids process what they are seeing in the media. You don’t want to shield your kids from the outside world, but parents should take time to process what is going on in the world, e.g the #StopAsianHate movement. Watch your responses and physical reactions to media pieces, as your kids see and hear everything. Ask your kids how they are feeling with everything going on.

Experience Different Cultures

In an ideal world, we would be able to travel the world to immerse ourselves in different cultures but it isn’t always financially possible. I have been having my older son pick different influential people in history from the “Who Is” series and present lessons on them to me. This puts them in a teacher role and you in a student role. We also go on Amazon Explore to virtually travel to different parts of the world to learn about their traditions with a live interactive one-on-one guide.

Be Mindful Of What You Consume

Model inclusivity as a parent by consuming art, movies, music, and more from a variety of different cultures. In my family, we watch documentaries and then talk about what we learned as a family. We also role-play and discuss stereotypes whenever possible. View these as opportunities to have a more open dialogue with your child and to talk about your own family’s rich history, their journey to America, and the traditions you maintain to this day.

Highlight the Beauty in Diversity

Pay attention to how you communicate with and about others. As an Asian, I get asked most often…”Where are you from?” The simple answer is here. I was born and raised in Orange County. So when you ask where I am from, I am from here. You might also be wondering what my ethnicity is but that is a different question. I am an American, the daughter of immigrants from India and Indonesia (Chinese). Teaching your child the difference between ethnicity and nationality is a great place to start, and sharing details of your own family history can help inspire your kids to see the beauty in diversity.

Model Speaking Up & Out

This past year there has been so much hate and violence toward Black people, Asians, and other minorities in this country. As a first-generation American, I grew up being taught not to speak out against injustices, but to keep silent. To move on. To say things only within our home. I think we are the generation that is changing that. We have to change that. Innocent Asian people are being attacked because of how they look and bigotry, and my heart is broken. I always think that could have been my Mom or my Dad, and that is not ok. All these lives that have been affected by Asian hate…they are someone’s Mom, Dad, grandparent, sibling just going about their lives before being harassed or violently attacked. As a parent, show your child how to speak up and out when faced with injustice.

Proudly Eat Foods From Different Cultures

I remember never wanting to bring leftovers to school for lunch because they were “smelly”, so I opted for something more socially-acceptable. I ate my Kimchi at home, I wouldn’t let my mom make Indian curry if friends were coming over, and my husband has been the only guy I ever let see my 99 Ranch Market purchases. I love everything from the seaweed crackers, mae ploy sauce and jackfruit to the pickled daikon radish, boba ice cream, sticky rice dessert, and fresh noodles. It has taken me a long time to be proud of my heritage and present it to the outside world. I suggest parents eat their favorite foods proudly and introduce their kids to foods from different cultures early on. When they are old enough, you could also sign them up for cooking lessons so they can learn how to make things like dumplings or curry. If you want your kids to embrace diversity, start in the kitchen.

I know the majority of people in this country don’t hate Asians but the recent attacks have hit hard and close to home. I’m not always sure how to stop it or how to be a part of the solution, but I do want to keep the conversation going because change is imperative. I’m here to lend a voice, to have a conversation, and to create a better world for our kids. I want a world where my boys can be proud to be 1/2 Asian and celebrate their culture. Life is hard as it is…the color of our skin shouldn’t be one of the aspects making it harder. After all, we are a country of immigrants.

Veena mom of 2 boys (Max and Eddie), is a former Miss California and currently works on TV as an expert in the parenting, lifest‌yle, beauty and fashion space, You may have seen her on The Doctors, Ktla, Extra and FabFitFun TV and more. Veena currently resides in Boulder with her family.

Photo: Canva

There’s a difference between tattling and reporting. When kids understand the difference, they are more likely to report unsafe situations and real trouble.

Definitions: Snitching & Tattling vs. Reporting

Snitching or Tattling: Telling on someone to get that person in trouble.

Reporting: Telling a trusted adult to get help. Focused on keeping yourself and others safe.

The Difference Between Tattling & Reporting

In early elementary school, snitching or tattling is common as kids learn to navigate rules and social dynamics. In these situations, the “snitcher” is usually trying to get someone in trouble, control another, or avoid blame. Often, no one is in danger of being physically hurt, and the situation could be solved without adult intervention with some conflict resolution skills.

By middle school, snitching has become socially unacceptable. Because of this stigma, older students may be afraid to report real trouble. Fear of being seen as a snitch peaks just as dangerous and inappropriate behaviors (bullying, sexual harassment, and threats of violence) are on the rise.

When Kids Understand the Difference, Schools are Safer

When kids understand the difference between snitching and reporting it helps them feel safe to report. This requires regular discussions at home and at school about what types of situations need to be reported. It’s also important to have a safe, confidential way for students to share, like Safe2Tell.org. This service allows students, families, and community members to report concerns or threats anonymously.

In today’s world, all of us need to look out for each other. These efforts go a long way in helping our kids feel safe as well.

This post originally appeared on JessicaSpeer.com

Jessica Speer is the author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? Girls Guide to Happy Friendships. Combining humor, the voices of kids, and research-based explanations, Jessica unpacks topics in ways that connect with tweens and teens. She’s the mother of two and has a Master’s Degree in Social Sciences.