ML Interest Tag: violent

Tips for Talking to Kids About Tragedy in the News

By Common Sense Media

No matter how old your kids are, threatening or upsetting news can affect them emotionally. Many can feel worried, frightened, angry, or even guilty. And these anxious feelings can last long after the news event is over. So what can you do as a parent to help your kids deal with all this information? Here are a few tips for talking to kids about tragedy in the news.

 

Addressing News and Current Events: Tips for All Kids

Consider your own reactions. Your kids will look to the way you handle the news to determine their own approach. If you stay calm and rational, they will, too.

Take action. Depending on the issue and kids’ ages, families can find ways to help those affected by the news. Kids can write postcards to politicians expressing their opinions; families can attend meetings or protests; kids can help assemble care packages or donate a portion of their allowance to a rescue/humanitarian effort. Check out websites that help kids do good.

 

Tips for Kids under 7

Keep the news away. Turn off the TV and radio news at the top of the hour and half hour. Read the newspaper out of range of young eyes that can be frightened by the pictures (kids may respond strongly to pictures of other kids in jeopardy). Preschool kids don’t need to see or hear about something that will only scare them silly, especially because they can easily confuse facts with fantasies or fears.

Stress that your family is safe. At this age, kids are most concerned with your safety and separation from you. Try not to minimize or discount their concerns and fears, but reassure them by explaining all the protective measures that exist to keep them safe. If the news event happened far away, you can use the distance to reassure kids. For kids who live in areas where crime and violence is a very real threat, any news account of violence may trigger extra fear. If that happens, share a few age-appropriate tips for staying and feeling safe (being with an adult, keeping away from any police activity).

Be together. Though it’s important to listen and not belittle their fears, distraction and physical comfort can go a long way. Snuggling up and watching something cheery or doing something fun together may be more effective than logical explanations about probabilities.

 

Tips for Kids 8–12

Carefully consider your child’s maturity and temperament. Many kids can handle a discussion of threatening events, but if your kids tend toward the sensitive side, be sure to keep them away from the TV news; repetitive images and stories can make dangers appear greater, more prevalent, and closer to home.

Be available for questions and conversation. At this age, many kids will see the morality of events in stark black-and-white terms and are in the process of developing their moral beliefs. You may have to explain the basics of prejudice, bias, and civil and religious strife. But be careful about making generalizations, since kids will take what you say to the bank. This is a good time to ask them what they know, since they’ll probably have gotten their information from friends, and you may have to correct facts.

Talk about — and filter — news coverage. You might explain that even news programs compete for viewers, which sometimes affects content decisions. If you let your kids use the Internet, go online with them. Some of the pictures posted are simply grisly. Monitor where your kids are going, and set your URLs to open to non-news-based portals.

 

Tips for Teens

Check in. Since, in many instances, teens will have absorbed the news independently of you, talking with them can offer great insights into their developing politics and their senses of justice and morality. It will also help you get a sense of what they already know or have learned about the situation from their own social networks. It will also give you the opportunity to throw your own insights into the mix (just don’t dismiss theirs, since that will shut down the conversation immediately).

Let teens express themselves. Many teens will feel passionately about events and may even personalize them if someone they know has been directly affected. They’ll also probably be aware that their own lives could be affected by violence. Try to address their concerns without dismissing or minimizing them. If you disagree with media portrayals, explain why so your teens can separate the mediums through which they absorb news from the messages conveyed.

 

Additional resources

For more information on how to talk to your kids about a recent tragedy, please visit the National Association of School Psychologists or the American Psychological Association. For more on how news can impact kids, check out News and America’s Kids: How Young People Perceive and Are Impacted by the News,

Marie-Louise Mares, Associate Professor in the Department of Communication Arts at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, contributed to this article.

Common Sense Media
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Common Sense Media is an independent nonprofit organization offering unbiased ratings and trusted advice to help families make smart media and technology choices. Check out our ratings and recommendations at www.commonsense.org.

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6 Actionable Ways to Celebrate Black History Month, Every Day

by Mimi Nartey

Black History Month is upon us, and while it’s a time to learn about the experiences and contributions of people of African descent in the US, it’s just as important to be mindful about how we teach our children this history. It’s our job as parents to nurture and defend our children’s natural instinct to love, and that includes being deliberate in how we introduce and sustain conversations about social justice toward any group. But how do we make sure we’re doing just that? Conveying Black history in ways that are both fun and age-appropriate can help kids appreciate how diversity makes our society both more rich and resilient. Here are six ways to celebrate Black History Month with purpose.

1. Make sure the information that you share about social injustice is developmentally appropriate

iStock

For children under nine years old in particular, we want to limit exposure to content that is excessively violent or that can create a social hierarchy in their minds. As described in Race, Class, and Parenting: 5 Strategies for Discussing Social Injustice with Your Children, age is not a reason or excuse to avoid conversations on injustice; age and psycho-emotional development are crucial considerations when deciding what to discuss and how to share.

Use common sense to discern what kind of language or details you should use to discuss historic injustice—especially violent acts of injustice and hate crimes. We can and should communicate that people were and are sometimes treated in unfair and inhumane ways without traumatizing our young children with graphic details. 

2. Realize that it is more important to condemn the oppression than to describe it

Charlotte Hawkins Brown, National Museum of American History, Washington DC
Laura Green

With children that are old enough, we need to make sure that there is a correlation between how much detail we share about racist oppression and how much we explore the psychology of the oppressor. If you do not feel that your child is old enough or sophisticated enough to reckon with the depraved motivations of slaveholders, then they may not be ready to be exposed to the explicit details of the practices on plantations.

Many Black history stories are curiously missing an antagonist. We risk inadvertently laying blame on the victim when we do not identify and condemn the abuser. Avoid content that describes institutionalized racism in the passive voice. For example, Harriet Tubman was not a slave. The Brodess family enslaved Harriet Tubman. Reframing these conversations in this way creates accountability for these crimes against humanity, which is the most critical step towards justice.

3. Make sure to give broader context for systemic bias against Black people

Annette Benedetti

There are many historical examples of systemic bias and oppression throughout the world. Make sure your children are aware that suffering and enslavement are not unique to Black people. If we fail to contextualize the enslavement and segregation of black people, we unintentionally dehumanize this population.

Many children are taught about the oppression of Black people long before they are taught about the oppression experienced by any other community. The goal is not to incite pity for Black people; it is to illuminate the universal problems associated with systemic injustice. Ultimately, we want our children to understand Black history in order to recognize and combat injustice against any individual or group.

4. Do not ignore the diversity and complexity of the Black experience

iStock

Truthfully, there is no singular “Black experience.” It is inherently problematic to make skin color the singular unifying factor in the historical experiences of groups of people. The African diaspora spans the globe. People with dark skin exist everywhere, and the historical context of their arrival at their respective locations is completely different for different groups of people and individuals.

Do not collapse Black history education into the U.S. slavery to civil rights narrative, as is often practiced. 

The Black experience is diverse, complex, evolving, and ongoing. Black history started long before the slave trade. It encompasses people of all religions, socio-economic levels, and political persuasions. If you fail to teach your children to grapple with this complexity, they may default to stereotyping. During Black History Month, be sure to include conversations about a variety of black people living in America, including LGBTQ individuals, differently-abled Black Americans, recent immigrants, and women. 

5. Make Black history relatable by focusing on shared interests and experiences

Sheppard Air Force Base

Focus on teaching about the contributions and experiences of Black Americans that naturally align with your child’s interests. For example, if your child is very interested in space or astrophysics, you could look for biographies on Mae Jemison or Neil deGrasse Tyson.

If you have a little foodie, try sampling or cooking foods from the African diaspora like soul food or Caribbean food. If you have an actor, musician, poet or inventor, expose them to Sydney Poitier, Duke Ellington, Langston Hughes, or Garrett Morgan.

Black history month is a unique opportunity to cultivate authentic respect for and identification with Black American culture. Take advantage of the surge of content that is available this month to help your children see that there is more that unites us than divides us.

6. Make sure to continue Black history and social justice education year-round

Cody Pulliam via Unsplash

Dedicating the shortest calendar month of the year to acknowledging the experiences and contributions of Black people is inherently problematic. In an equitable circumstance, academic curriculums would reflect the experiences and influences of all people seamlessly. If our textbooks were accurate and inclusive, we would learn about the contributions of African American engineers during our engineering unit—not just during Black History Month.

In this way, Black History Month is a cultural institution that may contradict or subvert its own intended goal. It absolves our schools, teachers, and society from the responsibility to integrate people of color during the rest of the year, but we can remedy this within our own homes.

Make sure to integrate conversations and history lessons about Black people all year so that your children will know that diversity appreciation and the mission of social justice are a lifestyle, not a novelty.

– Mimi Nartey

featured image: Adobe Stock

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Dear Parents, Black History Is American History

By Hitha Palepu

Dear Parents,

Black History is American History. So why aren’t our schools teaching it?

I grew up going to the ‘good schools.’

The ones with well-funded arts programs. The ones with computer labs, well-maintained facilities. The ones with teachers who had master’s degrees and decades of experience, who invested a lot of time in students.

In these good schools, the truth of American history was glossed over.

“Rosa Parks sat peacefully in the front of the bus. Martin Luther King, Jr. marched peacefully for civil rights. Slavery was bad, but not all slave owners (like our first Presidents) were bad. Everything is all good now.”

These good schools failed me.

It wasn’t until I took a Black History class in university that I learned what really happened.

I learned that the modern police system evolved from slave patrols.

I learned that voter suppression efforts began right after the 13th Amendment was ratified.

I learned how deadly the civil rights movement—which was always taught as non-violent and peaceful in these good schools—really was.

I learned about the Black Wall Street massacre—something I never learned before, not even in an honors US History class.

What was I taught, prior to college?

I was taught that slavery was bad, but not all slave owners were bad. How could they be, when they were our early Presidents?

I was taught that racism was fixed after the Civil War and during the civil rights movement. That Rosa Parks sat in a different seat and MLK Jr. marched peacefully, and everything was okay.

I was taught that we live in a world where race no longer mattered and that everything was equal.

My ‘good schools’ failed me. They failed us.

Will we allow them to fail our children?

It’s said that history is written by the winners—and it has. That history has continued to be taught by said winners. And the cost has been far too high.

American education needs to be overhauled as a whole, but we can start by teaching our children our nation’s history in its entirety. Children are aware of racial differences as young as 6 months and begin making decisions based on race as young as 2 1/2. If we continue teaching our children our history the way it had been written—by the White winners—then we are failing them to do better than we did.

The 1619 Project, the Pulitzer Prize-winning body of work, is slowly being adopted in the curriculum in Chicago, Washington D.C, and in Buffalo, NY. It should be incorporated in every school’s history curricula, nationwide.

This won’t be easy. There is a concerted, well-funded effort to block the 1619 Project’s inclusion in curriculums. One criticism is that “the curriculum is designed to inculcate in a new generation of workers a divisive racialist historical, and by extension political, worldview.”

Isn’t that what’s happened already? By being unaware of the bloody struggle for citizenship and equality in America—which is still happening today—we have been inculcated in a false worldview of merit over race and class.

It’s on us to raise actively anti-racist children. That starts with what and how they learn.

The 1619 Project curriculum should be incorporated alongside existing US History curriculum, and our children should be given the opportunity to learn both and think critically about both.

It starts with one call, or one e-mail, to the principal:

“How are you incorporating the 1619 Project in the school’s history curriculum?”

If they say they are not, ask why. Reach out to other parents and have them ask why. Tell them that you’re not satisfied with the version of US history being taught to your children, and you expect—and pay for—more.

It’s on us to teach our kids better. This is where we can start.

Photo: Frank Mckenna on Unsplash

Hitha is a mom of two, New Yorker, CEO of Rhoshan Pharmaceueticals, author and investor in female founded businesses. To say she is a force is an understatement. Known widely for her popular daily round up of 5 smart reads on her must follow instagram https://www.instagram.com/hithapalepu/?hl=en

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If You Think Today’s Kids Are Harder to Parent, This Study Agrees With You

by Sarah Shebek

Are today’s kids harder to parent? A new study found that most Americans think so, thanks to the prevalence of technology in our everyday lives. But what to do about it?

In a survey of 2,000 American parents, 80% agreed parenting is more challenging than it was 30 years ago due to technology and 86% said kids grow up faster thanks to tech. They also reported that their kids spend an average of 43% of their free time connected online. COVID-19 has boosted that trend, with four in five parents saying they’ve allowed their kids more screen time during the pandemic.

What’s the most worrying online issue? Parents said that negative interactions on social media (55%) were most concerning, followed by inappropriate content (54%). Cyberbullying (38%) and violent video games (23%) were also listed as reoccurring concerns.

Most parents surveyed said that it was their responsibility to monitor their kid’s online activity. They achieve this by employing a family media plan (43%), implementing daily screen limits (43%) using parental control software (42%) and reinforcing “screen free zones” around the house (36%). The study was conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Smith Micro Software.

Need some more tips on how to keep your kids safe in the digital age? We’ve got them!  And remember, quality screen time makes a world of difference, especially since tech isn’t going anywhere. After all, it also has plenty of benefits!

—Sarah Shebek

Featured image courtesy of Pixabay

 

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6 New Ways to Embrace Creativity This Summer

By Nina Meehan

Photo: Nina Meehan

Summer is upon us! The evenings are longer, the weather is warmer and the days are slightly less hectic…maybe. Summer is a terrific time to embrace creativity as part of your family’s routine. During the school year, things tend to be more regimented, but the summer offers days with different rhythms. And while every day or week can feel chaotic, sometimes a little bit of chaos is the best way to help keep creative minds active. Creative thinking is often just about looking at the world around you in a different way, so here are a few ideas to help inspire your family as part of your family’s daily routine: 

  1. PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD: Take turns making different kinds of breakfast foods with faces. Can eggs be a beard? How about bacon eyebrows? What can you do with some blueberries, toast and a banana? Children of all ages can get involved with the fun of making their breakfast into a Mr. Potato Head game. BONUS: Take a picture of all the faces and make a collage of the photos at the end of the summer!
  2. COUNT YOUR RAINBOWS: You may have played “punch buggy” as a kid, well here is a less violent way to keep your eyes peeled on the outside world as you drive back and forth from camp or weekend getaways. Take turns finding rainbow colors in order. The first person that finds something that is red, the next orange, etc. through the entire rainbow, wins! BONUS: You can also play competitively with older kids, but they need to declare what they see “I see Red, on the Fire Truck!”
  3. ALPHABET STORIES: While enjoying a summertime sandwich, challenge your family to an Alphabet Story. The first person starts a story with a sentence beginning with the letter A, then the next person adds on with a sentence that starts with B, all the way until Z.  HINT: Name one of your characters Xavier, so when you get to X, you can easily start a sentence like, “Xavier left the castle and hiked up the Mountain.”
  4. MAKE A MAP: As a family, make up an imaginary world. Start with some group sketches. Does the world have a forest, deserts, castles, plateaus, mountains? Then with some poster board, glue, ripped up paper bags, paint and rocks and dirt from the garden create a 3D version of a map of your world. This can be a multi-day or multi-week project.  BONUS: Once the map is made, use it to create stories about things that happened in the different regions of the map. Everyone can take turns telling a story every night. 
  5. BRING A STORY TO LIFE: If your house is anything like mine, dress up is a daily occurrence, but I rarely remember to take the time to link dress up with story. Next time your little one finds a special outfit, use it as a springboard to make up a story together. Who is the person who wears this special outfit? Where do they live?  BONUS: Dedicate a breakfast, lunch or dinner to the story, so if it’s a princess, make a fancy tea, if it’s a superhero, find some “super-power foods” to enjoy!
  6. SEE CREATIVITY IN ACTION: Visit cultural institutions for inspiration! Visit your local museums, go to a craft fair and ask the artisan how things are made, listen to live music, see theatre!  

 

This post originally appeared on Piedmont Post.

Nina Meehan is CEO and Founder Bay Area Children's Theatre and the host of the Creative Parenting Podcast. An internationally recognized expert in youth development through the arts, Nina nurtures innovation by fostering creative thinking. She is mom to Toby (13), Robby (10) and Meadow (5).  

   

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Can Video Games Help a Child’s Learning & Development?

By Sarah Daren

Photo: Marta Wave

Ever since video games first came out, parents have been given dire warnings about the effects of letting kids play them. There have been claims that they negatively impact child development and can increase violent behavior.

But is this really true? It depends on the game. While it’s true that your 5-year-old probably shouldn’t be playing Call of Duty, there are lots of kid-appropriate options that can actually be beneficial. Many modern video games designed for kids have a great deal of educational potential and can help children gain new skills.

Now that they’ve been around for a while, we know a lot more about why video games are so attractive to kids and about the potential they have for positive learning, development, and creativity. Here’s why some video games can be a great addition to any child’s learning plan.

The Developmental Benefits of Gaming

There are some great developmental benefits that go along with educational video games. Children can learn how to problem-solve in order to advance within some games while others allow them to express and build their creativity. Many of these games also offer strong and relatable characters who can help children develop important social skills.

The key to unlocking these developmental benefits is to choose your child’s games carefully and to stay involved in their experience. Don’t just choose games for their entertainment value, choose games that will teach kids educational content or help them build their skills and confidence.

Don’t just leave them alone at the computer for hours. To really get the developmental benefits out of the games, ask questions about what they’re doing and praise their effort. Another good interactive option is to play exercise-based video games together to boost mood and brain function and to build the foundations for lifelong fitness as a family.

Video Game Therapy for Kids

While research indicates that letting children play violent video games probably isn’t a good idea, other studies show that there are lots of opportunities for interactive games in helping children not just to develop, but to support their mental health needs as well. Some psychologists are beginning to see the benefits of using video games as a therapy tool. “Gamification,” (using the rules of games for practical applications) they claim, has the potential to help promote well-being and address mental health problems in young people.

The researchers dive into four main benefits that modern video games can provide: cognitive, motivational, emotional, and social. Using video games appropriately in therapy could be a great way to engage kids and cater to their specific needs.

While they acknowledge that there is still more research that needs to be done and more in terms of game design to create appropriate therapy tools, it shows promise. Many mental health professionals are very excited about the emerging use of gamification in counseling.

Video Game Therapy for Children with Learning Disabilities

It can be a challenge to engage with children who have learning disabilities or struggle with social and emotional skills. Some children have communication issues or struggle with basic learning concepts. For these children, sitting down and studying more isn’t always the right option.

Video games can be a great way to engage kids with learning disabilities. These activities are fun and exciting enough to encourage interactive learning and present information in a new way. Children who struggle to retain information might learn better through a game that’s designed for their disability, such as Fast ForWord, which is made specifically to help children with dyslexia learn language and reading skills.

VR Will Change the Way We Teach

During the pandemic, many students found out what it was like to learn virtually. Although we hope students will be able to continue in-person learning now that the pandemic is waning, we might continue to use virtual tools to enhance and change the way we teach children.

VR (virtual reality) is a tool that could really make a difference in students’ lives, especially when paired with video games that help children develop skills and cognitive abilities. Games with VR capabilities have come a long way in the last few years and could be merged with these interactive, educational games designed for kids to enhance interactivity and improve distance learning.

We’ve come a long way from the days when “experts” believed that video games would be society’s downfall. We know better now, and a more balanced view of video games is helping kids learn, grow, and thrive.

Sarah Daren has been a consultant for startups in industries including health and wellness, wearable technology, and education. She implements her health knowledge into every aspect of her life, including her position as a yoga instructor and raising her children. Sarah enjoys watching baseball and reading on the beach. 

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What Should Children Be Allowed to Read?

By Janet Coburn

When I was a child, there was no way my parents could censor my reading. I simply read too fast and too much for them to keep up.

Once, though, I got hold of a science fiction novel by Robert Silverberg that had a sex-infused plot that was way beyond my then-current level of sophistication. When I reported to Mom that I was disturbed by it, she wrote in it “Not for young minds” before we recycled it at the used bookstore (as we did most books in those days).

But she still didn’t try to censor my reading.

I understand that there is a need to make decisions about what books will be in a school library, for reasons of space if nothing else. Within those limitations, school librarians must choose the best and most engaging books they can. And not all schoolteachers can choose their own reading lists, as they may be determined by the school, the school board, or parental influence.

As to what a child should read, I advocate giving the individual child’s taste free rein. Reading is reading and practice reinforces it. If the reading is forced upon the child or–worse–is boring, the child will come to view reading as punishment, not pleasure. (The same holds true of writing, by the way.)

If your children have questions or are disturbed by a book they read, talk with them about the book. With them, not at them. Most kids know what is too sexual or too violent or too whatever for them. I have even seen a child leave a movie that was becoming bloodier than he thought he was ready for.

And so what if your child reads trashy comic books or graphic novels? Or escapist fantasy? Or biographies of pop stars or sports heroes? As the child grows, you can suggest other books that may fill the same needs but be a bit more challenging. There are plenty of good adventure novels by classic writers, including Alexandre Dumas, Robert Louis Stevenson, Victor Hugo, and even Zane Grey. (William Goldman has a charming story about this process in his introduction to The Princess Bride.)

Or you may be able to interest a child in reading the book that a favorite movie was based on. Then ask her or him how the two differed. (The Hobbit is a prime example.)

The object here is widening a child’s horizons, not narrowing them. You may not like all their choices, but they surely won’t like all of yours either. It’s like educating their palates. You’ll get through that awful peanut butter and pickle phase and into realms as distant as sushi.

I’m not saying that you should leave your child alone with Fifty Shades of Grey (though if you have it in the house, your child is sure to find it). There are other books that can introduce your teen or even your preteen or tween to topics concerning the human body and sex – and the emotional aspects of it that aren’t covered in schools. Judy Blume’s books, for example, once thought so shocking, have stood the test of time.

The message you give a child when you say “no” to a book may be different from what you think. You may think you are saying, “That book is too advanced for you” or “That book is trash,” but the child may hear, “Books are not for you” or “Reading is worthless.”

“Let children read whatever they want & then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won’t have as much censorship because we won’t have as much fear.”—Judy Blume

Judy Blume is right. Reading and talking about it is better than censorship and fear.

Hi! I'm a freelance writer and editor who writes about education, books, cats and other pets, bipolar disorder, and anything else that interests me. I live in Ohio with my husband and a varying number of cats.

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How to Create a Safer Internet Experience for Kids

By Anna Chin

Before diving into a discussion with your kids about the internet, open yourself to questions and provide honest, transparent answers. Kids are naturally curious, so saying, “Don’t go on the internet!” without some context will only spark their interest. Talk to them multiple times about the dangers, answer questions, and help them understand the positive benefits of the internet along with the serious risks. Here are four ways you can safeguard your children and improve their safety online.

1. Keep Personal Information off the Web. A study from Cox Communications and the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children found many teens are not concerned about sharing personal information online. The majority thought posting photos or other personally identifiable information on social media was not unsafe, and nearly half were not worried about other people using their info/images in unapproved ways. Given the prevalence of Instagram, TikTok, and other social accounts, the results of the survey are unsurprising.

There’s considerable peer pressure to join and frequently post on these accounts, and their usage can cause addictive behaviors. However, all this personal data and exposure can lead to dangers. Online predators can view these accounts by pretending to be someone in the teen’s age group. Private messaging capabilities can give them easy access to start dialogues, which can then turn towards offers of in-person meetings. Encourage your kids to wait until they’re 18, and at the very least, check their social account settings to ensure they’re “private.”

2. Check Their Phone Usage. Giving your child their first phone is a big step, both for them and for your trust. The ideal age for a phone varies and depends on the maturity level of the child. Before handing out the first Android or Apple phone, talk to your kids about the expectations. Reinforce that the phone is theirs, but it’s also yours and you can check it whenever you want. Set rules for using the phone. Do they take it to school? Can they go to bed with it charging on their nightstand? Kids need structure and guidelines.

Tracking their phone usage should be a mix of checking it manually and using technology tools. Kids can of course delete inappropriate texts and Google searches, so you need to track what they’re doing. That’s where some technology comes in handy.

3. Use Tech Tools. To effectively help kids navigate the internet, you need to embrace some technology tools. Nothing complex, just some new tools that monitor your kid’s phone and computer usage. Here are a few monitoring programs worth looking into:

  • FamilyShield by OpenDNS is a tool that blocks certain inappropriate domains on your entire home network. This includes proxy servers, sexual content, and violent sites.
  • Qustodio is a parental tool for phone use that features social media tracking, smart filtering, and the ability to manage screen time remotely.
  • Kidlogger (currently just for Android) and other similar tools are useful for adding controls to usage, and seeing exactly what functions kids are doing, and what they’re typing. This and other apps allow parents to remotely view any photos the kids take, their location, and to record any incoming or outgoing calls.

There are many monitoring tools available. Do your research and read reviews to find trusted and easy-to-use services.

4. Help them Browse Safely. Kids are going to act like, well, kids. They’re unpredictable, and of course, don’t have the minds of the typical adult. They might go to Google and search up words they think are innocuous, but the results might be pornographic or violent. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people online that use coding to warp search results, so for example, a search that pulls up a site that looks like toys might lead to somewhere inappropriate. Give your kids guidance on how to search properly, and let it be known you’re open to talk if they find something inappropriate.

A great alternative to Google and other search engines is to use the family-friendly search engine GOFBA. GOFBA was established to provide users with a safe haven on the internet. It strives to eliminate pornography, violence and other inappropriate material, and constantly scans their results for fraudulent coding designed to trick users into seeing inappropriate websites. GOFBA also has secure Chat, Email, File Transfer and Storage.

Keeping kids entirely off the internet is unrealistic. Many schools use Google Classroom or other online tools that kids must utilize. All in all, there’s a time and place for internet usage; the younger the child, the more personal supervision. Safety begins by helping your kids focus on practicing good internet habits and having a better understanding of the online dangers.

Ms. Chin is the founder and visionary behind Gofba, and currently serves as the President and Chairperson of the Board of Directors. Ms. Chin began her entrepreneurial journey with the desire to create a safe haven online, a gift for generations to come, and founded Gofba with the goal of achieving this dream. 

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Was the Super Bowl Halftime Show Family-Friendly?

By Emily Lynn Paulson

The super bowl halftime performance last week caused a lot of noise on social media! One phrase that I noticed being thrown around was “family-friendly” and it got me thinking, what does this even mean? Is it based on values, or morals, or some sort of social indoctrination? Isn’t it subjective, considering every family is different?  

Let’s take a step back. If your kids were watching at halftime, you were exercising your right as a parent to let them watch it. If the resulting outcome was disapproval or disgust, does the fault lie with you as the parent or the network? Perhaps the NFL or the artists themselves? Who ultimately has control of the content that goes from the TV directly into your child’s impressionable brain? 

My vote: the parents. 

Don’t get me wrong, figuring out which content is appropriate for kids (no matter what your version of appropriate is) can be dizzying. The TV and Movie Parental guidelines rating system is fairly helpful, but not always accurate, so parents still have to be aware of what their children are watching all the time.

I’ve watched some PG-13 movies that are benign because the adult humor goes well over my kid’s heads, yet some PG content has caused nightmares in our house (I’m looking at you, Coraline). Unfortunately, this rating system does not apply to news or sports programming, including the super bowl and its halftime performance. 

For the record, my kids did not watch it, not because I didn’t allow it, but because they were busy doing other things. When the Seahawks don’t make the cut, my kids lose interest. However, If they had watched, I would have been ok with it and would have addressed questions, if any, as they came up. It was perfectly “family-friendly” for this family. 

If for some reason it had been objectionable to one of my kids, it would have been MY responsibility for allowing them to watch. It isn’t up to JLo and Shakira to set a good example for my family. That’s our job as parents.  

You might say, “But, I didn’t know it would be that risque!” Ok, fine, but again, isn’t this part of informed parenting? Maybe next time, before letting your kids watch, you could give the performers a google? The content should have been no surprise (the performances and outfits were on par for both artists), and you would have been fully prepared to skip it or hit the off button on your tv. Family-friendly in YOUR home is up to you to decide, not the network, not the producers, not the performers.

Let’s step back even further. If your kids were watching football in the first place, and you were offended by the halftime performance, how do you justify watching the cheerleaders who are scantily clad during each and every game? Before JLo and Shakira took the stage, your kids had already taken in a whole lotta skin, gyrating, and jumping up and down via the sidelines. 

How about the commercials for Viagara and violent R rated movies? I know that when my 7-year-old watches football with his dad, I am on guard to turn certain commercials off or ask him to look away. I’ve watched enough football games to KNOW there is content that scares him sometimes! They are not family-friendly in my opinion, but we do our best with the content to make it appropriate for his eyes. Again, it isn’t up to the advertisers to parent my kid. What they watch is ultimately up to us as parents. 

If the halftime performance wasn’t your cup of tea, that’s cool! I liked it and found it super entertaining, but I respect and understand the viewpoint of those who thought it was too risque for their taste. We all have our own level of comfort. But ultimately, if your children watched and now you’re offended because it wasn’t “family-friendly,” then it’s a good time to remind yourself who is in charge of your family, and the content they watch. You hold the remote. 

 

Emily Lynn Paulson
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Emily is the author of Highlight Real: Finding Honesty & Recovery Beyond The Filtered Life. 

As a Certified Professional Recovery Coach, recovery advocate, educator,  and speaker, she is passionate about connecting women with resources for healing. Emily lives in Seattle with her husband and their five children. 

   
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