When your kid is learning their first words, it can be tempting to encourage them to say “Mama” or “Dada” first, speak to them in baby talk, or encourage them to use cute words like “wawa” instead of water. But these common mistakes might be setting your toddler up for failure, according to a speech-language pathologist on TikTok. In a viral video, she explains three common mistakes parents make that might be hindering their littles’ language learning, rather than helping them.

“If you have a toddler between the ages of 12 and 24 months and you’re wondering why they aren’t saying many words yet, you might be making one of these common mistakes,” Moira, an SLP with Rooted in Language, explains in her video. “Did you know that as parents, our natural instincts when talking to our kiddos are often actually hampering their ability to quickly learn lots of words?”

@rooted.in.language

Toddler not saying many words?? This may be why❗️🤔 #rootedinlanguage #talkingtips #toddlertalkingtips #speechtherapy #speechdelay #speechdelaytoddler #parenting #parentingtips #gentleparenting #raisingtoddlers #toddlertalking #slptips #languagedevelopment #languagedevelopmentinyoungchildren #languagedevelopmentbabies #babytalk #babytalking #firstwords #speechpathology

♬ original sound – RootedinLanguage

News to us! On to the common mistakes.

The first mistake, Moira explains, is repeatedly telling your toddler, “Say Mama” or “Say Dada.”

“Talk about dialing up the pressure,” she says. “Your child is much less likely to say a word when you’re demanding it of them.”

Instead, she says, you should regularly and consistently model the word you want your toddler to use. “Mama loves you,” “Mama’s gonna change your shirt.”

The second mistake to correct: no more baby talk. As Moira explains, research shows this is bad for toddlers learning about language. But it’s important to note that there’s a difference between baby talk—”the purposeful misarticulation of sounds to sound like you’re a small child”—and child-directed speech—”that sing-songy voice with lots of rise and fall in your intonation, like Miss Rachel.” Child-directed speech is good and helps kids learn to talk. Baby talk is not.

And finally, the third mistake: repeating single words your toddler says.

“Your baby says ‘truck’ and you say ‘truck.’ Boom. Done. You’ve ended the conversation,” Moira explains. “What are they supposed to say now? The interaction is over, and they haven’t learned any new words, because all you did was repeat a word they already knew.”

Instead, you should build on the conversation: “Yes, truck. Blue truck. That’s a big, blue truck! Beep beep! Bye-bye, truck!”

As Moira explains, “Apply these three tips consistently and watch your toddler’s language explode.”

Rules you have to follow in a relationship may not be the sexiest thing, but this sex therapist on TikTok is here to change that.

As we all know, in a long-term relationship, the passion tends to fade a bit over time—especially when you add things like jobs, kids, money struggles, and other life factors to the equation. If you and your spouse don’t want to jump each other’s bones like you did at the beginning of your relationship, that’s perfectly normal! But you might want to try out this nightly rule that therapist Vanessa Marin shared in a viral TikTok.

“Here’s how it usually goes in long-term relationships. When you first start dating each other, it’s like you can’t keep your hands off each other, right? You’re always touching, always kissing,” Marin begins, after introducing herself as “a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex.”

@vanessaandxander

Comment if you want to hear more about what we do in our relationship to to keep intimacy a priority! #forcouples #couplestherapy #relationshiptok #intimacy #grwm #marriedlife Get Ready With Me Advice For Couples Relationship Tips Relationship Therapist

♬ original sound – Vanessa + Xander Marin

She continues, “But the pattern for most people is that once they get into a long-term relationship, they really stop touching and kissing so much, and eventually it gets to the point where the only time that you’re like really kissing each other is when you’re trying to initiate sex.”

No lie detected. Anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship can likely relate to this so far.

But when this can become a problem is when you develop what Marin calls the “bristle reaction.”

“What happens for a lot of people, especially if you’re the lower sex drive partner, is that you start becoming avoidant of any sort of touch or kissing,” she explains. “This can even lead to what I call the bristle reaction, which is when you become so hyper-vigilant to your partner’s touch or kisses that you actually can feel yourself bristle.”

She and her husband have developed a simple way to combat this: nightly makeout sessions.

“We wanted to give ourselves lots of experiences when we were making out and it wasn’t leading to sex,” she said. “So our rule is that we have to make out every single night and there has to be some tongue contact.”

If the comments are any indication, Marin’s message is resonating.

“Literally been feeling this ‘bristle reaction’ I thought was the ‘ick’ so nice to know so many women have this,” one commenter wrote. Another added, “Yess. 5 years in my relationship and Everything you said is so true! I’m going to try this w/ my partner. Thank you! 😁”

So if your relationship could use some more intimacy, maybe try making out. You know, for science.

A behavior analyst explained the “5-minute rule” her family uses to improve their communication

Even for adults, communication isn’t always easy. So when kids, who are still learning essential skills like regulating their emotions and properly conveying their thoughts and feelings, are involved, it can be even harder. That’s why this mom’s “5-minute rule” makes so much sense. In a viral video, she explains how it helps her family communicate much more honestly, and we bet that after watching it, a lot of parents are going to want to try it out.

Behavioral analyst and parenting coach Mandy Grass, who goes by @thefamilybehaviorist online, explained that the “5-minute rule” was something her parents used when she was a kid and that she’s added it to her own parenting repertoire.

“Basically, you could ask for five minutes at any time and it guaranteed a calm conversation,” she said. “Usually, five minutes was to confess to wrongdoing. So growing up, I could say to my parents at any time, ‘Hey I need five minutes,’ and they would sit down, and they would listen, and there would be no yelling, no screaming, it would be a calm conversation.”

She further explained that that didn’t mean the conversation was a free pass without consequences. She would often still be punished for the “wrongdoing” she was confessing to. But she always knew that if she asked for five minutes, she and her parents would have a rational conversation about it, and that removed a lot of the stress—for her and for her parents.

Now that she’s using the technique with her own kids, Grass said that modeling the behavior has actually given her the chance to tell the truth to her kids when she otherwise might not have. “For example, my daughter came down and said, ‘Hey, where’s my artwork?’ And I said, ‘I need five minutes,'” she said. “‘I think I cleaned it up. I think I threw it out when I cleaned up the counter. I’m really sorry.'”

Calm truth-telling is as aspirational as it gets—whether it’s a little kid admitting to messing around with their mom’s makeup or scribbling on walls or an older kid explaining that they lost their phone or snuck out of the house. But being able to cop to these behaviors without having to worry about an emotional (or explosive) response makes it far more likely to be commonplace.

For families looking for more open communication, this might be just the trick to try.

This non-profit is all about moms supporting moms when it’s needed the most

Whether you’re a new mom or you’ve got a few years under your belt, there’s no question that life can be overwhelming. Between work, caring for the kids, cleaning up messes, doing a million loads of laundry, making weeknight dinners, and getting everyone where they need to be on time, finding even five minutes for yourself is considered a total win. So what does that say about moms in general? That. We. Need. Help. Even if we don’t feel like we can (or should) ask for it.

That’s why, when we discovered mom-of-two Jen Hamilton’s TikTok video about how her non-profit, Hot Mess Express, came into existence, all we could do was stand up and cheer. Leave it to a mom to know exactly what to do!

Hamilton tells the story in her now-viral video. “So a couple years ago, there was a post on Facebook in a local moms group. It was written anonymously, and it was by a girl who was a couple months postpartum with her second baby. She was asking for recommendations for a cleaning company to come in and help her clean her house because she was so overwhelmed.

“She said, ‘I don’t even have the money to do this but I can’t keep living like this.’ So people commented and were like, ‘Oh, reach out to this person or this company.’ But I was like, ‘We are missing something big here.’”

@_jen_hamilton_

All aboard! Find our FB group if you’re local! Addresses are only shared with those who have signed up to come.

♬ original sound – Jen Hamilton

Hamilton took it upon herself to gather other local moms who could help, and they showed up in a big way.

“There were like eight or ten of us there. We had taken up a collection and we sent her and her family out for a fun day, and we spent the whole day cleaning, organizing, doing laundry. We went to Walmart and got things that they needed. We made sure that there was food in the house. We made crock-pot meals. We went all out. And that was the first ever Hot Mess Express mission,” explained Hamilton.

Since that first day, the non-profit has taken on a life of its own. It now has a nationwide reach with over 50 chapters, and there’s plenty of room for more. Hamilton no longer sits at the helm of Hot Mess Express, but her friend and fellow member, Girl, Same podcaster Brittnie Tran, was ready to take the lead.

@girlsamethepodcast

I can not believe the amount of women interested in joining HME since @Jen Hamilton’s video! It is so beautiful to see and we are so excited to have you 💕 hotmessexpress.co @brittiniechristine @kay.la.dee @Easy Breezy Runner @tina1325 #volunteer #nonprofit #womensupportingwomen

♬ Better in Stereo – Tori

Brittnie Tran recently explained her vision to Scary Mommy: “I would love to see enough Hot Mess Express chapters that we are accessible to as many women as possible. There are so many women who don’t know our group exists, suffering in silence thinking they are alone. That’s why we work so hard to normalize the struggles of motherhood and normalize asking for help.”

The struggle is, in fact, very real. A recent Pew study found that although women are earning more than ever and that there are more dual-income households than in the past, women in opposite-sex relationships are still contributing more to household duties than their partners. In these ‘egalitarian marriages’—meaning both partners contribute equally to the yearly income—women still spend an average of 4.6 hours a week on the same tasks to which their husbands contribute only 1.9 hours a week.

This is where Hot Mess Express comes in. Their mission states: “Hot Mess Express is a group of moms and caregivers who come together to rescue moms in need by doing the housework that can seem impossible. Whether these moms are dealing with postpartum depression, medical problems, social issues, or life burdens, Hot Mom Express is here to alleviate as much stress as possible by doing dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, and organization. Our goal is to leave these ladies with a more peaceful existence and give them a fresh start.”

You can check their official website to see if there’s a chapter near you, and if not, the website provides the tools you need to start your own. There’s also a private Facebook group for the non-profit with over 19K members that provides even more support for members.

This mom has some perfect ways to respond to sassy kids who need help refining their message so they can be heard—without losing their spark

There’s a lot to be said for a sassy kid—they’re never going to let anyone walk all over them. But it’s still up to us—the fully formed adults—to teach them when to rein it in a little to avoid going too far. One mom on TikTok has three perfect responses to help your bold kid communicate with a bit less attitude.

Parenting coach Destini Ann describes her own daughter as “spicy and sassy,” someone who knows how to “assert herself” and “advocate for herself”—some truly amazing traits. But sometimes she does “cross that line,” Destini notes. So these are the things she tells her daughter.

@destini.ann

♬ original sound – Destini Ann

“Number one: Your message is getting lost in your mess,” she shares in her now-viral video. “I know you have a really important message. I care about that message. The package is a little off.”

She continues, “Number two: Do you want to be heard, or do you want to be understood? Raising volume is probably not going to result in collaboration.”

And finally: “Can you turn that into a question? Because requests go so much further than demands.”

Destini finishes her video with some praise for her daughter.

“I think she’s going to be an incredible woman,” she says. “I think she’s going to be a great leader. We just gotta get there.”

In a follow-up video, she gave some examples of how she uses these lines when her kids talk to her “like they’re paying bills.”

@destini.ann

Part 2 #positivediscipline #positiveparenting #positiveparent #momtips #mominspiration #adviceformoms #peacefulparenting #parenttips

♬ original sound – Destini Ann

For example, when her daughter says, “You’re the worst mom ever. You don’t even play with me,” Destini responds, “I am going to play with you at 11:30 when I finish working. I hear your message. You just really want to play. But don’t let that awesome message get lost in your mess, OK?”

And in another follow-up to parents, she notes, “Instead of saying, ‘Stop whining,’ say this: ‘Ask for what you need. Make a request. Do you have a question?'”

She adds, “Works every time,” then quickly amends that to, “Works most of the time.”

Relatable, because as moms know, nothing works every time.

While baby showers have their place in the world (getting that many presents can be a major help to a first-time mom), they’re also a little bit played out—and do you really need to go through the games and hoopla if it’s your second, third, or subsequent child? That’s why we love this viral video so much. A mom shared how instead of a traditional shower, her friend threw her a “nesting party,” where all her friends came over and helped her clean and organize to get her house ready for a new baby to arrive, and TBH, that sounds so much more helpful than a shower.

“Every pregnant mom needs a nesting party. If you’re pregnant and don’t want a baby shower, do this. If you have a pregnant friend, do this for them!” mom Nia Lui wrote in the caption of her now-viral video.

@nialui21

Replying to @Haley Sheppard Every pregnant mom needs a nesting party. If you’re pregnant and don’t want a baby shower, do this. If you have a pregnant friend, do this for them! #nestingparty #nestingmom #nestingmode #pregnantmom #pregnancy #babyshower #nestingmama #thirdtrimester #ittakesavillage #myvillage @Bri Welcker

♬ original sound – Nia Mullet Mom

In the voiceover, she explains that she just had her nesting party, organized by her friend, Bree.

“I sent her a list of things that I wanted to get done before baby came and she made little cards for each person to take to take on a section of the house,” she says. “Then we took a dinner break, ate some soup, some sourdough bread, some treats, and just chatted about this baby and how it’s going to be. And then we got straight back to work and everything was so clean and organized. and I feel so much more ready for this baby.”

In the video, you can see Nia’s friends hard at work, cleaning, folding clothes, and getting her entire house, top to bottom, ready for her to relax with her new baby. Oh, and everyone who came brought a freezer meal so she’d be set with dinners post-partum.

It’s honestly genius.

In a follow-up video, Nia explained even more how she came up with the nesting party idea.

@nialui21

Replying to @katiecusic Nesting party answers. #nestingparty #babyshower #nesting #nestingmom #womensupportingwomen #momlife #sahm #pregnantmom #nestingmode #nestingmama #thirdtrimester #pregnancy #ittakesavillage #bethevillage #greenscreen

♬ original sound – Nia Mullet Mom

“This is our third baby, so we have everything. We basically don’t need a lot besides diapers and wipes,” she said. And for those wondering where her husband was during all the hard work? He had an important task of his own.

“He took our two boys. I have a six-year-old and a two-year-old,” she explained. “He took them out to an indoor play place, and they went to dinner and he kept them out of the house for three hours so that they wouldn’t be in the way.”

She added, “We got so much done, and it just made me feel so at peace in my own home and way better than a baby shower. So if you don’t want a baby shower or if this is your third or fourth kid, do this.”

A parenting coach is sharing the one thing most parents get wrong about consequences for their kids’ bad behaviors

When your child misbehaves or acts out, you give them a consequence so they learn not to repeat that bad behavior, right? Well, according to one parenting coach, you might be doing this all wrong.

Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta is a parenting coach on TikTok, and in a recent viral video, she explained how many parents make a big mistake with consequences: They make them “unnatural and illogical.”

@drchelsey_parenting

#drchelsey #positiveparenting #attunement #consciousparenting #guidingcooperation #parentcoach #brainbasedparenting #childdevelopment #parentingtips #nervoussystem #supports #consequences

♬ original sound – Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta

Some examples: grounding your child for failing a test or taking away screen time because they ran away at the park.

“Here’s some examples of natural and logical consequences,” she explains. “Kid throws truck — Oh, looks like trucks are too tricky for today. Trucks are all done. We can try them tomorrow.”

Another one: “Kids are fighting in the car — slowly pull over. Be silent. Say, ‘I drive when everybody is calm and quiet.’ Don’t say anything else. You can start driving again when they’re calm and quiet.”

One more: “Kids are fighting over what show to watch — Oh, looks like shows are too tricky for today. I’ll take the remote. Let’s try again after dinner.”

Hauge-Zavaleta adds, “Notice that with each natural and logical consequence, I say it as soon as things start to go sideways, and I’m doing that in significant part so that I can stay regulated. Your capacity to stay regulated and calm when giving a natural consequence is 99% of the success.”

She does acknowledge that this can be tough for parents, especially when you’re “exhausted and at the end of your rope.” And when you make a mistake and give an unnatural and illogical consequence, it’s OK to acknowledge it—”Mama got a little crabby!”—and switch to a natural consequence. Even that, at the end of the day, will be more effective.

This parenting expert has a far better solution than forcing kids to apologize

Is there anything more annoying than when your kid does something they know they aren’t supposed to, get caught, and respond by “apologizing” with an empty “sorry” in that fake voice so you can tell they really don’t mean it? You know they aren’t getting anything out of that, but what are you supposed to do instead? This parenting expert has a great idea for those moments.

Parenting coach Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta says she doesn’t “force” children to say they’re sorry.

@drchelsey_parenting

Stop making kids say sorry #drchelsey #positiveparenthood #positiveparenting #guidingcooperation #conscious parenting #gentleparenting #attunement #neurodiverse child #coregulation #parentingtips #parentcoach #moms #momsupport #family #consequences #adhdparenting jokes a#regulationtok #coregulationtok #adhdparenting #siblings youngersiblings

♬ original sound – Dr. Chelsey Hauge-Zavaleta

“Instead, I have them do an action,” she explains in a now-viral video. “Go get an ice pack, go get a stuffie, what do you think would help? I’m facilitating an action that is reparative. What I do not want is a child to say, ‘I’m sorryyyy’ in that yucky voice. They get nothing out of it. It does not feel authentic to the child that was hurt. And the child that did the thing learns nothing.”

The child who did the harm gets to take a break from the situation—to walk away to get the helpful item. Meanwhile, you get a few minutes to comfort the hurt child.

“I care about the action of repair,” Hauge-Zavaleta continues. “I care that the child who has had the impact, regardless of the intent, is able to do something.”

To create more of a lesson out of the situation, she says you can circle back later with the kid, and say something like, “That was so nice that you got an ice pack for your friend,” or “Sometimes, people get hurt while we’re playing, but it’s so cool that you always recognize when someone needs help.”

This mom’s hack makes keeping kids’ rooms clean ‘easier to execute and kind of fun’

It’s not just the tantrums and bedtime battles that parents often dread. There’s also the classic “clean your room” struggle that’s easier to just give up on sometimes—because if you simply close the door, you can pretend the mess isn’t there, right? But to maintain a safe living environment, you do need to get your kid to clean their room every now and then. That’s why we love this mom’s step-by-step list, which makes the experience kind of fun—for everyone involved.

TikTok parenting account @mightyandbrightco explains that the secret is in having a checklist where the big job—cleaning a room—is broken down into tons of small, easy-to-tackle tasks.

“The truth is—keeping a room clean, let alone a whole house, is a skill that involves lots of little tasks,” she explains in a now-viral video. “If you know how to tidy a room, you might take those little tasks for granted. But for kids, being faced with a messy room is totally overwhelming. They have no idea where to start.”

@mightyandbrightco

sometimes we forget that we have to teach kids how to do things because they do not come naturally. Room reset board from mighty and bright #chores#parenting#kidsmentalhealth#mightyandbright

♬ original sound – Mighty and Bright

She continues, “When we teach kids how to break down a big task, like cleaning a room into manageable chunks, we make this big chore easier to execute and kind of fun. After all, who doesn’t like checking things off of a to-do list?”

And that’s totally true. Who among us hasn’t made a to-do list that included the task “make to-do list” just so we can check off something right away? It feels great to accomplish something—which is why having lots of smaller challenges is the key to getting your kid to spring into action.

@mightyandbrightco continues, “The first couple of times we might need to go through the steps with them, but once they get the hang of it, you can add a room reset to their weekly task chart and they’ll know what to do.”

Here’s what she recommends for the checklist:

  • Get a trash bag.
  • Put trash in the bag.
  • Dirty dishes in the sink.
  • Get laundry basket.
  • Dirty clothes in basket.
  • Clean clothes in drawer.
  • Get a “no home” box.
  • Put away items by color.
  • Throw away trash.
  • Find a home for “No Home” items.
  • Have a dance party in your clean room!

Because of course, every job should end with a dance party.

We’ll be trying this out ASAP and we have a feeling we’ll be enjoying lots of clean-room dance parties in the future thanks to the ingenious hack.

New mom Elyse Myers is offering her (noncomprehensive) list of must-have postpartum products, and everyone with a newborn needs to see this

If you don’t already follow Elyse Myers on social media, why not? She’s absolutely hilarious and will make you smile every day. But she’s also one of the realest moms on social platforms. She just gave birth to her second baby, and in a now-viral video, she’s sharing some of her postpartum essentials that are saving her during round two (because even when it’s your second time, you still barely know what you’re doing).

“I’m nine days postpartum. Here is a non-comprehensive list of things that are very helpful for me postpartum—and also with newborn life—that I didn’t buy the first time around but I wish that I would have now that I’m using the second time around,” she says in her video.

https://www.tiktok.com/@elysemyers/video/7282092131332656415?_r=1&_t=8fyR2L17cgZ

The first is adult diapers, which, if you know, you know.

“Don’t even waste your time with the pads,” Myers says, which, if you know, you know.

The second thing she lists is a Peri bottle.

“The hospital is going to send you home with a peri bottle to help clean yourself when you go to the bathroom. If you can, just get one that’s upside down,” she says, with a picture onscreen of a bottle with an upward-facing nozzle. “Buy a separate one. Because then it squirts up at you so you’re not doing gymnastics when you’re going to the bathroom.”

Myers notes, as products #3 and #4, that the hospital will also send you home with pain and itch relief spray and witch hazel pads, but that it’s a good idea to stock up on both at home because you will run out.

The fifth item she mentions is a “quick-clean” sanitizing bag from Medela.

“You can reuse these 20 times,” Myers explains. “I exclusively pump and bottle feed, so I am constantly needing to wash my pump and wash bottles and I don’t want to wait for the dishwasher.” Instead, she says, she uses the sanitizing bags, which she can use in the microwave like a “mini dishwasher.”

Some of her other recommendations include a donut pillow for sitting on, a hospital-grade breast pump, and the Haakaa Ladybug, which she notes is shorter than the original Haakaa and more convenient because it doesn’t hang down while she uses it to collect breast milk. The last thing she recommends is a mini fridge to keep in the bedroom for storing milk for middle-of-the-night feedings, which saves her and her husband trips up and down the stairs and helps them get back to sleep faster (a game-changer when you have a newborn, of course).

As Myers notes, there are tons of other things she could share, because the list of things new moms could recommend to others is endless. But these do all sound like top-tier recs, and if they’ve helped her, they’re sure to help other moms.