This Boss’s Day, celebrate the leaders in your life with these unique Boss’s Day gifts from their favorite employee (you, obviously)

There’s nothing like a supportive boss, especially when you’re a parent. It’s hard to find the words to express how much we appreciate our manager’s guidance, flexibility, leadership, and generally making our workdays fulfilling. We also know being an effective leader isn’t easy, and Boss’s Day is the perfect time to show them what they mean to us.

Boss’s Day is October 16th, but since it falls on a Sunday this year, will be observed Monday the 17th. We’ve combed some of our favorite websites for the best unique Boss’s Day gifts that’ll remind them that their hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Self-Care Truth or Dare

Self Care Truth or Dare game

With Self-Care Truth or Dare, your favorite boss will be challenged to open the cylinder, pick one of the 50 sticks, and either reflect on a positive aspect of their life or complete an achievable goal (Truth or Dare, get it?). Great for reminding them to take a moment out of their day for themselves.

Self-Care Truth or Dare ($15.00) Here

Shattered Glass Ceiling Necklace

In the world today, we're more aware than ever of the presence of the "Glass Ceiling" and those who are absolutely smashing it! We're loving this necklace, but you can also check out the Shattered Glass Ceiling Paperweight or Shattered Glass Ceiling Ring.

Shattered Glass Ceiling Necklace ($68.00) Here

Work From Home Survival Kit

Working from home, or a hybrid work model, are definitely more the norm since 2020, and while we love so much of what comes from the ability to skip rush hour, it does have its share of challenges. Help them battle the day with this kit!

Work From Home Survival Kit ($20.00) Here

The Work Wellness Deck

A deck of 60 ways to bring more balance, both physically and mentally, into life at work.

The Work Wellness Deck ($19.00) Here

Spreadsheet Shortcut Mug

Mug with Excel shortcuts printed on it

For the boss who excels at Excel, this handy mug has over a dozen easy-to-follow shortcuts (that actually work!).

Spreadsheet Shortcut Mug ($12.00) Here

Video Conference Mute Button

Conference call mute button

Plug it in, choose which colors you want corresponding to Mute and Unmute, and never forget your mic is still on when you're talking to the Door Dash guy ever again.

Video Conference Mute Button ($49.00) Here

Gandhi Quote Canvas Wall Art

Gandhi quote decor

It's pretty hard to argue with Gandhi, and this quote is a really beautiful way to honor your boss.

Gandhi Quote Canvas Wall Art ($19.99) Here

Keep Calm Notebook

Keep Calm I Have a Spreadsheet for That notebook

For the spreadsheet-makers and note-takers, this blank lined journal is a total win!

Keep Calm I Have a Spreadsheet for That Notebook ($7.95) Here

Fixer of Everything Wooden Desk Sign

Fixer of everything desk plate

You may call them "Ms. Smith" or "Steve", but we all know their real title. Make sure everyone who enters their office knows, too, with this retro-inspired desk sign.

Fixer of Everything Wooden Desk Sign ($9.98) Here

To My Boss Keychain

A small token of your appreciation, this keychain has a super sweet message that we couldn't have written better, ourselves!

To My Boss Keychain ($10.95) Here

Boss's Day Succulent Gift Package

Boss's Day succulent gift basket

Treat your green-thumbed leader to a pretty plant with a straight-to-the-point message telling them how much you rely on them.

Boss's Day Succulent Gift Package ($39.19+) Here

Customized Business Card Holder

A classic gift for a reason, this professional and thoughtful business card holder offers the option of text and font added to a vegan leather holder in multiple colors and styles to choose from.

Customized Business Card Holder ($8.00+) Here

Guest Book Leader Sign

Leader guest book sign

A gift from the whole team is always a great idea, and we love this guest-book-style sign that has several customization options!

Guest Book Leader Sign ($22.50) Here

Things I Was Right About Notebook

They know their stuff, so your manager is sure to appreciate having a convenient notebook to record their wins. You know, for posterity's sake. 

Things I Was Right About Notebook ($11.84) Here

Conference Call Bingo Mousepad

Since we know your boss is already great at multitasking, they can definitely listen and play at the same time, right?

Conference Call Bingo Mousepad ($14.44) Here

Working With Me Candle

Coworker candle and jar of matches gift

It's okay. We don't have to say it out loud. You know you're their favorite employee. This set has several scent options to choose from, as well as packaging and the option to add these cute little matches!

Working With Me Candle ($16.00+) Here

Terrifying Boss Card

Funny Boss's Day card

Terrifying? Terrific? Maybe a little of both? This card nails each sentiment, even though we know they're really the best.

Terrifying Boss Card ($6.00+) Here

Antique Ship Whiskey & Wine Decanter Set

Whether they display this set in their office or their home, this decanter is a truly gorgeous gift for the leader who appreciates wine and spirits!

Antique Ship Whiskey & Wine Decanter Set ($69.95) Here

Concrete Prism Candleholder Set

This super unique gift allows your boss to design their own candleholder setup with these multi-colored concrete prisms!

Concrete Prism Candleholder Set ($70.00) Here

"No" Button

Give them the gift of easy communication with this handy "No" button! It even includes 10 different sayings. Well, not completely different: they still all say "no".

"No" Button ($10.00) Here

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

I was recently asked about my story and if I could pass one thing on to my children, what would it be? Without hesitation, I said, it would be a work ethic built around resilience. 

That one word, resilience, has been the cornerstone of my life, and I want it to be a foundation for all my children throughout their lives as well.

I was born to two high schoolers who fell in love a little too early. Raised in a small town in poor conditions, I watched my dad work 60 hours a week to put food on the table and saw my mom work part-time while raising three little boys. She eventually worked her way through college and became a nurse, and then a nurse practitioner long after I had moved on. 

In high school, my dad started his own company, but due to a skimming accountant, the IRS shut him down. Without hesitation, he got a job and paid every penny he owed to the IRS and his business vendors. My dad could have quit, but he did not. 

I watched both my parents demonstrate a tremendous work ethic built around getting back up and finding a way. That’s resilience.

In my own life, I’ve worked hard and achieved dreams I never thought possible. But my own version of resilience—demonstrated to my children—is personal. In 2011, my wife and my sons’ mom, was unexpectedly diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. She had no symptoms. There were no signs. In 36 hours, our entire world changed.

I spent the next five months with her while caring for our boys as she went through treatment. Most of it was experimental and produced no positive result. And on the exact day she was dismissed from MD Anderson Cancer Center and told to go home—there was no hope left—I was diagnosed with stage 2-3 renal cancer. 

Knowing she needed me and knowing my children and family needed me, I did not do chemotherapy as recommended. I simply had the doctors open me up and remove the tumor, kidney, and anything else that looked bad.

I walked out of the hospital after 19 hours to be with my wife and my boys. She made it six more days, with her family, and me, by her side until the end.

Without question, that was the saddest day of my life and in the lives of my children. 

But when looking back on it, I am proud of the fact that I was able to, if not forced to, demonstrate extreme resilience. Nine years later, my children are doing great and are super achievers in their own right. I’ve also chosen to move on with my life and have created a beautiful, blended family with a wonderful woman and mother. My children and her children are close, and my deceased wife’s family have totally embraced us all with complete love.

You see, resilience is not just about getting back up after getting knocked down. Resilience is also about getting up, finding a new path, and moving forward to ultimately achieve your goals and dreams. That is the true lesson I learned, and one that I hope I’ve demonstrated and given to my children.

RELATED:
“We Can Do Hard Things:” Building Resilience in Kids
5 Ways You Can Help Kids Build Resilience during Stressful Times

James' life is the American dream in a nutshell. Born to teenage parents in Laurel, MS & faced with a future working in one of the town's two factories, James chose to change his fate and forge his own path–to become a wildly successful entrepreneur.

If there is one thing we have learned over the past few months, we have come to see the importance of raising our children to make the world a better place through their actions and reactions to what is going on around them. As their first teacher, there are many virtues parents look to model for their little ones. According to a new Parents survey, Kindness is the most important value parents want to instill in their children, topping intelligence and strong work ethic. 

kids

Parents today announced the results of its first-ever Parents Values Study which reveals that although parents believe raising kind children is the most important value they can instill, they  also believe that kids today are less kind than past generations. The study, which uncovers insights about American  parents’ biggest parenting challenges, concerns and priorities, as well as their views about their own parenting skills and parenting in the pandemic, is highlighted in Parents‘ second annual special November Kindness Issue and on parents.com/kindness.

Moms were asked to select the top three qualities they most hope to instill their children. The top selections are:

  1. Kindness (73%)
  2. Love of family (68%)
  3. Intelligence (51%)
  4. Strong work ethic (51%)
  5. Individuality (31%)

Julia Edelstein, Editor in Chief of Parents said, “As a mother, I care more about instilling kindness in my kids than any other trait, and it turns out that the vast majority of parents are on the exact same page. One of the many things that the pandemic has taught us is that kindness is a life-giving force, and we need more of it. With that said, one of the most disappointing findings from this study is that although our priorities are aligned when it comes to raising kind kids, most moms don’t see kindness reflected in kids’ behavior today. We have a lot of work to do, but we will get there. Parents‘ November issue—our second annual kindness issue–is a roadmap to prioritizing kindness in your family, and raising truly kind people.” 

To help parents in their effort to raise kind, compassionate people, the Parents special November Kindness issue has a collection of articles offering feel-good stories, profiles of inspiring families who stepped up in big ways and small during the pandemic, expert insights and creative ways that parents can take action.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

RELATED STORIES

Why Family Pets Are Good for Your Health, According to Science

Here’s What Science Says about Women, Alcohol & Mental Health

New Breastfeeding Relaxation Therapy Could Help Nursing Moms Produce More Milk, Study Says

“If I do it, can I play Xbox after?”

“Is everyone doing it?”

“Can you just do it since you’re better at it?”

So would begin the litany of questions when I assigned my sons even the most basic weekend chores. Whether charged with watering, dusting, or raking, the boys inevitably would whine, slump their shoulders and feign sudden, fretful bewilderment. “How do I know which plants need water?”  “What’s a Swiffer?” “We have a shed?”

Truthfully, my children were not sparing me much labor by pitching in. I cannot count how many times I would stop what I was doing to liberate an area rug being swallowed by a vacuum or to rescue a vase perched a micrometer from a mantel’s edge. Still, I soldiered on, determined to instill in my kids a strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility. Each weekly outburst, though, stoked simmering doubts that my mission was succeeding.

Then one dreamlike Friday the tables turned.

My seven-year-old announced that he would need to finish his science fair project over the weekend. With a toothy smile, he turned from my husband to me and with complete sincerity asked, “Who wants to help me?” I waited for him to appreciate the irony.

Though that night did not afford our family any lessons on paradoxes, it did produce our new favorite tool for a stress-free weekend: The “Help Wanted Bulletin Board.” Our family has found this device to be most valuable when used in the following way.

  1. The “Help Wanted Bulletin Board” is literally a bulletin board that hangs next to our refrigerator, the most visited spot in the house.
  2. Throughout the week, each member of the family takes a piece of paper, jots down a chore they anticipate may require assistance and pins it to the board. Each person posts two jobs in total.
  3. The activities must be reasonable in scope. Our family defines “reasonable” as any task that can be performed by any family member in one hour. Jobs have included cleaning out the toy chests, skimming the pool, practicing math facts, and weeding the back yard.
  4. All requests should be posted by Friday night.
  5. Although everyone peruses the job postings throughout the week, no one commits to any until Saturday morning. At that time, each member of the family signs their name onto two posted job requests. I have found that my boys have a greater sense of control and approach their responsibilities more eagerly when they can select their jobs. To that end, the adults choose last so that the kids have more tasks from which to pick.
  6. All jobs must be completed by early Sunday evening. The job solicitor and the job assistant decide together when they will work to complete the assignment.
  7. When a job is done, the posting is crossed out. I am still amused by how triumphant the boys look when they do this, but I also understand that the “x” is tangible proof of their success and a validation of their work.
  8. Finally, right before bedtime on Sunday night, we gather at the bulletin board and review what our family accomplished. Each job solicitor thanks his or her assistant, and it is impressive how much goodwill is fostered before our children retire for the evening.

Ending the weekend on a harmonious note is but one benefit of this approach to chores. Others have followed. With the board sitting in plain view every day, my sons understand that the weekend will bring housework. This visual reminder allows the boys to prepare mentally for chores. By eliminating any surprises, the board has reduced much of the whining in our house.

Though household duties are still inevitable, they no longer feel arbitrary. The board lets my children consider how they will contribute in the days ahead. They have developed a sense of ownership by having a say in what they do, and this autonomy has fostered pride in their work.

Each family member appreciates the support they receive while simultaneously feeling good about helping someone. There now exists a feeling of our family operating as a team. We enter the weekend knowing that someone has already offered to help us. What’s more, no one is shunted off to a corner of the house to work alone, as sometimes would happen before we used the board. Instead, each of us enjoys companionship while we work. More than once my kids have spontaneously offered up stories about what is happening at school while occupied with sweeping or washing dishes beside me. For me, these unprompted talks are the happiest consequence of the way we handle housework now.

My kids now take time to discern which of their own tasks they can do by themselves and which are best suited to a team effort. Subsequently, they have become more transparent about which responsibilities they find difficult and which they just do not want to do.

Finally, the “Help Wanted Bulletin Board” reinforces the notion that everyone needs help. Often children are told at school or at home that asking for help is not a flaw, but an asset exhibited by strong leaders. The “Help Wanted Bulletin Board” reinforces this sometimes-challenging idea. Each day it literally shows my boys that even the “oldest and wisest” can seek support and even the smallest and youngest can provide it.  

 

This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy.

I spent many joyful years in education, but I made the difficult choice to leave the classroom to focus on my children and my writing. I recently published a short children’s book, Many Miles to Walk, an extended conceit written for my younger son to explain his birth via surrogate

Sabrina Bradley knows all about the hard work and dedication needed to build a successful business. A passion for skincare and environmentally-friendly products, she worked hard to turn her dreams of creating a line of holistic treatments and owning her boutique spa into a reality.

When she became a mother, Sabrina knew she would be implementing the same values and skills she acquired as a business owner in her son Chase’s everyday life. She wanted to inspire him to be a risk-taker, create his own path, and walk to the beat of his own drum.

Teaching your children about entrepreneurship and the value of hard work at an early age will have a positive impact on their futures and increase their chances of success. Children are like sponges; they absorb information and actively make sense of it. When thinking about how to teach your kids about these topics effectively, make sure to make it an enjoyable learning experience. Here are a couple of helpful tips to inspire your little ones to become young entrepreneurs.

1. Set Goals. When Chase was younger, Sabrina created to-do lists with goals for him to accomplish. Then, she helped him create a vision board and set his own goals. Helping kids create challenging but attainable goals will not only boost their confidence but also value the time and hard work they have spent achieving them. Having their goals visible will set as a reminder and make it simpler for your child to keep track and celebrate their progress, keeping them motivated.

2. Break the News that “Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees.” Entrepreneurs are financially self-reliant; that’s why it’s necessary to encourage a strong work ethic and teach kids about the value of hard work. From an early age, Sabrina made it clear to Chase that money doesn’t grow on trees. When Chase started preschool, Sabrina would use old coffee tins as a “coin bank.” Every Friday (payday), she would give him money for doing his assigned chores; she would also deduct money when he neglected them. When Chase got a little older, Sabrina “hired” him as the “operational manager” for her company, where his duties included printing out shipping labels, packing orders, putting up flyers, etc. Giving your kids’ essential job roles and having them involved in your business to earn money instills a strong work ethic, a necessary quality for aspiring entrepreneurs.

3. Embrace Failure. Being an entrepreneur and starting a business is like going through an obstacle course: there will be setbacks, challenges, and roadblocks before getting to the finish line. That’s why it’s important to learn how to be resilient and embrace failure. Sabrina taught Chase that it was okay to fail; it was just a bump in the road on his way to success. She emphasized that to move forward, he would have to gracefully accept his mistakes, learn from his experience, and use it as motivation to try again. Teach your kids that failure is not an excuse to quit. The amount of times they fail or get rejected is unimportant; what matters is that they get back up, learn, dust themselves off, and try again.

As a momtrepreneur, Sabrina taught her son Chase the ropes of entrepreneurship—and it’s paying off. At 17, Chase is seen as a young mentor to children in his community and is working diligently to have his own business one day. Whether or not your child chooses the path of having their own business or not, the skills above will help them succeed in whatever profession they decide to pursue in the future.

Dena Roché is a multi-faceted communications professional who assists luxury, hospitality and wellness brands become publishers of quality content and writes for national and international publications, while helping brands create their own messaging.

My personal connection with my grandparents—Wallace and Clara—was very strong, even though we lived over an hour away from them in central Florida. The distance normally would have been a barrier to fostering a relationship, but my parents made sure that we remained in contact with them. When I think of my grandparents I immediately think of music and its role in creating memories while visiting them on holidays.

My grandmother, even though she wasn’t a fan of rap and ’80s and 90s popular music that I liked, she still allowed us to have a “good time” and celebrate whenever we visited our extended family. I also remember my grandmother telling me stories of her time as a young woman, especially when she moved to Harlem for about a year. Those stories helped form an independently, produced web series that I created.

That connection of music, my grandmother’s great storytelling, and my personal journey are all intertwined—and now I am using those same stories, music, and great characters to write and produce a web series based on conversations of events that happened almost 100 years ago.

The top 5 important lessons I learned from my grandmother are:

1. Family comes first, always. Keeping our family together was her priority.
2. Have faith in yourself and your abilities. My grandmother was very religious so her faith was her guide. In turn, I have channeled my own personal faith into growing as a person and believing that I can take risks in life and knowing I will be okay in the end.
3. Have the ability to compromise. In business and especially in my personal life, I have learned that people are appreciative of someone who is able to pivot from their experience or perspective and listen to their ideas and thoughts.
4. Live life unapologetically and on your own terms. She would always say that I shouldn’t let anything, and she meant anything deter me from achieving my goals.
5. Be of service to others. No matter if it is one person in your life or thousands. We all should try to make a difference in humanity.

And similar to her, I live life with few regrets. She told me that regrets are useless unless you want to continue to live in the past. There is too much living to do in order to move forward.

My grandfather was such a cool, well-dressed, family man who worked hard all of his life. Even as a child. He grew up on a farm where hard work is part and a particle of your daily life. I model my work ethic in my life after him as an entrepreneur. It is something that they passed down to my mother and ultimately my siblings and me.

Through their sacrifices, I saw first-hand what perseverance would achieve if I consistently pursued a goal. I applied this logic first to my approach to college and its challenges, then later on in my adult life. He was a quiet man, didn’t talk much, but as I got older I realized that he had lived a hard life but he managed to keep his family together and they felt loved.

Here are the top 5 lessons I learned from my grandfather:

1. Give everyone your full attention when having a conversation. I know it seems simple but, especially in today’s world, you have to compete with someone looking at his or her cell phone all the time.
2. Spread love and not hate.
3. Take time for yourself and do something you enjoy. He loved his car. I don’t remember the make/model but it was beautiful and he loved riding with his grandchildren.
4. Be the owner of your own life. Don’t give others the power to make you feel less than, ever.
5. Making mistakes is ok. Actually you haven’t really lived if you have never experienced something not working out as you had planned. Being human does not come with an instruction manual, a how-to-be-perfect guide.

Grandparents are great in the way they are treasure troves of life experiences and I learned to listen to their advice at a young age.

If they were alive, they would be very proud of how far I have come and the journey I yet to live out and complete. One thing I have done differently was balance work and living a full life or at least become more aware of the changes I need to make to achieve balance. I realize that some people are not as fortunate to have a close connection, a bond with their grandparents. I wish that everyone could experience it because it will remain with you for the rest of your life.

The relationship I had with my grandparents was the beginning of a legacy that I hope to pass down to future generations of our family. My grandparents will live on in perpetuity, as their descendants will hear great stories about the sacrifices, love, and support they had for their loved ones. Music, which once brought us together, is still a major part of our gatherings. Although our musical tastes are not the same, their unity in their love of particular music identifies each generation.

Sometimes the music is the background soundtrack to someone telling a great story of a memory of my grandparents. We get to relive their presence once again, even if it is only in our memories. A mental video of happier times when all seemed right in the world in the eyes of a young kid, with three sisters and grandparents who showered me with their love as soon as I jumped out of our wood-paneled, station wagon. I miss them every day but I smile at how they would be proud of their progeny.

—Written by Terrence Patterson

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

Dear Confessional,

I’m sorry, but life is not “like a box of chocolates,” because if it were, then each bite would be sweet and probably not last more than 10 minutes in my hands (especially if they were filled with caramel). Life, perhaps, is more accurately depicted as that Jelly Belly BeanBoozledⓇ game where you have to spin the dial and manage through your pick—barf, juicy pear, spoiled milk, lime, rotten egg, coconut, etc. Not every experience in life is “strawberry” and “peach.” Some days are just plain “spoiled milk” and “moldy cheese.”

Yes, every day is truly a gift, on both the good days and the ones that feel like a “booger” pick. Whether you spin the dial and life lends you a sweet or foul hand, each moment is a small part of your vast journey in experiencing, feeling, learning, growing, and then back again. Reflecting back on my likely relatable lessons learned in each stage of life, I have received both the tasty and foul jelly beans, too. That is why I feel the need to share this account of my personal rainbow of flavors that I have tasted in each stage of life.

“Coconut” childhood Always trust your instincts and speak up when you need to, right away. Don’t ever feel less than anyone. You are important, smart, and worthy. When you start writing and publishing your first works of poetry, let nothing stop you. You are boundless with possibility if you truly want it. When school work starts to get you down, find a different way to study and learn. Your will to succeed and effort are far more important than the score. Do your best always, and that will be good enough.

“Barf” note to self: When you don’t like your dinner, don’t think you can fool your parents by hiding your bites in a napkin or pushing the food into really small but very tall piles. They always know!

“Tutti-Frutti” teenage years Even when your body doesn’t change as quickly as your friends’, it will happen. Stop rushing it and give it time. Let your full personality bloom to others. Don’t measure yourself so much by school scores and exam results. True success comes from your determination and passion to succeed in what you love—not from a number.

“Stinky Socks” note to self: Please stop picking any zits. Your skin is beautiful and will self-heal—so hands-off—and take out any stress through your writing, not on yourself. When you look back at this time later, you will really appreciate your flawless skin.

“Chocolate Pudding” college life Love yourself more and criticize less. Stop wearing makeup, you don’t need to hide behind a layer of foundation. Wear that bikini with pride—no stretch marks, cellulite, stretched-out skin, or wrinkles yet—and stop worrying about that thigh gap! Your financial struggle will bring out the greatest work ethic and inner strength that you will carry always. You will find a way to pay for school, a car, living expenses, and manage to save a bundle, all while taking a full load of classes and two internships. This work ethic is more valuable than the schooling itself, so stop worrying about the scores and keep pushing on.

“Rotten Egg” note to self: After you discover $5 pizzas, freshman year, and your dream guy asks you on a date, DO NOT squeeze into those black corduroy pants! You will regret bending down. Buttons will pop and tearing sounds will haunt you. He’ll still marry you, though, shameless appetite and all.

“Caramel Corn” career Follow your dreams and don’t settle. Even if you don’t get the job you were hoping right away, don’t stop until you do what you love. The money will come when you don’t give up—work hard and plan your dream into reality. You are worthy, so don’t ever let any manager speak down to you, ever!

“Dead Fish” note to self: You don’t make a good first impression by going cross-eyed and bobble-head sleeping during your first Board of Directors meeting. Your boss WILL take a picture. Get more sleep!

“Strawberry Banana Smoothie” marriage Don’t worry about everything being perfect on your wedding day because the unexpected will undoubtedly happen. Enjoy every second of your special day, soak it all in, and wear flats instead of those fancy high heels. Marriage is incredible and also takes work. Be honest and respectful always. Never go to bed angry. Stop being so stubborn, and admit when you’re a pain and apologize. Don’t forget to keep it hot—less flannel pyjamas and more slinky things, even on “fat” days. He always thinks your sexy, so stop worrying about that post-broccoli bloatation.

“Baby Wipes” note to self: When tensions rise, feed him or let him nap immediately! The hungry and tired combo is lethal.

Peach” pregnancy Being pregnant is awkward, uncomfortable, tiring, nauseating, and also such an incredible and miraculous blessing. Enjoy every second, because when you’re truly done having kids, you’ll know it—and then you’ll feel old. After each baby, don’t self-shame over your awkward figure for a while. Your body will need time to heal and your emotions time to settle before you get the proper portion and over-carbing issue in check. Give yourself a full year to get back into your pre-preggo body. When it’s time to have each baby, don’t be stubborn—listen to your body and your instincts. Sometimes, your intuition is far greater than a nurse’s or doctor’s assumption.

“Toothpaste” note to self: You don’t need to eat the entire cake, the scale doesn’t lie.

“Berry Blue” mom Being a first time mom is hard. You will be so tired. You will have a hard time asking for help. Sleep more and recharge. You are NOT a machine. Don’t over-sanitize everything—pass around the baby more. Stop micro-managing and let others find their own way. Opinions are just that, opinions—take them or leave them. Don’t use pantry-prowling and shovelling food in your face as an excuse for a break. Remember that when your child melts down, don’t crumble with her. Be the calm in her storm. Be the confident and compassionate one until the dark clouds clear. It is the only way. When the kids argue, let them. Don’t always try and fix everything, it is not your battle. Give them the tools to repair, heal, and step away. Learn from them, as they have so much to teach you.

“Skunk Spray” note to self: Enjoy bringing your baby to the supermarket because when they’re all in school, you won’t have anyone to blame when you pass gas. 

“Lime” back to ME time Having a free moment once all kids are in school will feel strange and will take some time before you stop looking over your shoulder or automatically opening all of the car doors every time you get in or out of the minivan. Take the time to find yourself again. Pursue your true dreams in the few hours you have—you will be surprised by how fast it happens. Wear your body like a badge of honor—you did create four miracles with it. You are not perfect and don’t need to pretend to be. Be real. Be honest. Be selfless and kind, and teach your children the same. They are always watching. Don’t live with guilt or regret. Do what you love and show others how much you appreciate and love them. “You are your own perfect imperfection.”

“Booger” note to self: Really try and get more sleep because your wide-gapped mouth will appear both frightening and morbid when you fall asleep in the passenger seat or airplane. Even though it’s the law of gravity, people WILL stare, take pictures, point, and laugh.

Enjoy the journey and keep learning. Even in the moments that may taste like “canned dog food” or “lawn clippings,” you never know what you’re going to get.

Take every moment with patience, open-mindedness, and willingness to understand—and always remember to laugh, hug, and find thankfulness in any situation.

Remember, it’s not about the flavor of the bean that your dealt with, but rather the experience, the laughter, and the company that makes it all worth while during the game.

With Love,

Ruthi

Photo: Ruthi Davis Photography

Ruthi Davis is a the Founder of Ruth Davis Consulting LLC with over two decades of success in advertising/marketing, media/publicity, business development, client relations, and organizational optimization for a variety of clients. Ruthi is a proud mom and influencer in the parenting and family market as founder of the Superfly Supermom brand.

After having my second baby, it quickly became apparent something had to give. I could not continue to work full time, raise two children and run a household. At the end of a few arguments, my spouse and I decided hiring a nanny was the best solution for our family.

I wish I had known several things before embarking on this journey, so in hopes of sparing other readers trouble, I decided to write about my experience. Here are 8 things I wish I had known before hiring a nanny. I hope you find them as helpful as I would have back in the day.

1. Don’t Search When You’re Desperate

When we found our nanny, we posted a desperate request on social media. This is not a recommended method for finding help. Posting online is a good way to identify prospects, but not make a final hiring decision.

My hubby was on his way to a business trip, and I knew there was no way I could manage work and childcare obligations. We ended up going with the first person who responded to our ad. This was a mistake.

2. Take Time to Review Resumes

After our first nanny disaster—long story short, she didn’t have the greatest work ethic—we took more time finding the second. We looked over resumes, and we took the time to contact references, something we didn’t bother with the first time.

Many people request references from employees, but few take the time to contact these people. This is a mistake. Always contact at least one or two of the references listed by a potential nanny. Sometimes, one call is all it takes to ease your mind, but if something seems off, you can ask more probing questions to be sure.

3. Use a Quality Referral Service

If you’re not keen on running a background check on your own, going through a referral site like Care.com can help you find higher quality child care. The most important tip for using such a site is specifically stating your needs—if you have three children, one of whom has a disability, advertising for a baby-sitter may not get you the type of applicant capable of providing the level of services you desire.

Do you want a nanny who also will help clean and prep meals? State this in the advertisement. The same goes if you need a nanny capable of tutoring your child in advanced algebra—not all have this qualification.

4. Remember You Are an Employer

You might not think of yourself as one of the fabled job-creators, but guess what? You are. This means you are responsible for issuing year-end tax documents as well as withholding if you choose to hire a nanny as an employee—a status automatically granted to those you pay $2,100 per year or more to.

If this is the case, you will need to withhold Social Security, Medicare and unemployment taxes from your nanny’s paycheck. I highly recommend using personal accounting software for this—the initial expense costs far less than owing the IRS.

5. Get Scheduling in Writing

The primary reason we had to let our first nanny go was an incompatibility in scheduling. I say this euphemistically—the real problem was not showing up when scheduled.

If all you need is a baby-sitter after school for an hour, scheduling can prove a breeze. However, if you need a nanny who occasionally can pull overtime or work weekends, get it in writing upfront. Everyone gets sick now and then and needs a day off, but missing a flight for an important business trip due to a nanny who forgot to set the alarm—again!—can prove nightmarish if it happens too often.

6. Decide in Advance on Contingencies

Do you expect your nanny to wash and chop lettuce for your evening salad? Get this in writing in advance of making a final hiring decision. Not only does doing so ensure you get the services you desire, but it also makes things fairer on your hapless sitter who may not know meal prep fell under the job description.

Most nannies expect to watch the children and even help with homework. If you’d also like them to wipe down and reorganize the contents of your refrigerator, prepare to pay extra or at least admit honestly cleaning is part of the gig.

7. Start with a Trial Run

Have you ever taken a new job on a contingency basis, meaning you only stayed on if you performed? While most household employees behave the same as they would toward any other employer, assuming they will do so automatically can result in conflict.

Let your nanny know you will operate on a trial basis for the first two weeks. I wouldn’t extend the time further out—feeling insecure about your job can make you perform worse, after all—but it gives you ample time to evaluate if you and your nanny’s work ethics and personality are a good fit.

8. Have Monthly Talks about What’s Working

Like any employee-employer relationship, touching base periodically is key to a continued successful working arrangement. Make time every month to praise your nanny for what she does well and discuss areas that could use improvement.

Hiring a good nanny is life-changing. With our second nanny, my hubby and I achieved the work-life balance we craved. I wish I had known more the first time, but at least I learned how to find a quality nanny quickly through trial and error. Avoid my mistake by following the tips above to locate the household help you need.

Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, freelance writer, and blogger. She enjoys long naps on the couch, sneaking spoonfuls of peanut butter when her kid's not looking, and binge watching Doctor Who while her kid's asleep.  She really does like her kid, though, she promises. Find her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.

We don’t all love chores but they’re a necessary part of daily life. That’s why I decided to show my kids that helping out around the house doesn’t have to be a dull, boring burden. Besides, chores are a great way of helping kids build their independence and work ethic while teaching them responsibility as well as valuable life skills. All these are sure to come in handy as they grow into adulthood. The trick is to start them young.

Here are some fun chores that my kids love:

1. Preparing food
My kids love helping around the kitchen almost as much as they love eating. I showed them how to prepare some simple snacks and meals and now they do it by themselves. This not only saves me a ton of time but also helps them learn to make healthy food choices.

2. Feeding the pets
Pets are important in kids’ lives. In addition to providing enjoyment, they also help children learn to care about something other than themselves. I got my kids pets on condition that they would feed and take care of them. So far, they’ve kept their side of the bargain.

3. Working in the garden
Kids love playing in the dirt. Mine couldn’t believe it when I gave them their own garden patch. Together, we transformed our simple garden into a different kind of playground where they could plant whatever they wanted. I also taught them to identify weeds and they spend many happy hours pulling them, leaving me with healthier plants.

4. Washing the car
Water and soap suds—what could be more fun to a child? My kids like washing the car so much that they regularly try to convince me that it’s dirty.

5. Sweeping and vacuuming
My youngest daughter enjoys sweeping and vacuuming around the house. To make things easier for her, I got her a child-sized broom and vacuum and now my floors and carpets get cleaned frequently.

6. Helping with the laundry
This has to be my younger son’s favorite job. He loves sorting the dirty laundry according to color then loading the machine, adding soap powder and starting it up. Being assigned that chore gives him a feeling of importance.

7. Mowing the lawn
My teen son, on the other hand, doesn’t mind mowing the lawn. In fact, it’s the only chore he voluntarily does. I suspect that’s because he gets to wear his headphones, blast music and ignore the rest of us for a while.

Allowing and encouraging my kids to help around the house showed me just how capable they are. Best of all, I get to have a clean, tidy home while my children enjoy their chores and learn valuable life skills in the process. What more can a parent ask for?

Tyler Jacobson is a happy husband, father of three, writer and outreach specialist with experience with organizations that help troubled teens and parents. His areas of focus include: parenting, social media, addiction, mental illness, and issues facing teenagers today.