Make sure your kiddos know that Martin Luther King Jr. Day is about more than a day off of school

Your little dreamers naturally understand the power and importance of having hopes and wishes, so learning facts about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his “I Have a Dream” speech is a tactile way to help kids understand the significance of who MLK Jr. was. Help the kids learn more about this chief spokesman for nonviolent activism, civil rights, and the end of racial segregation.

Bee Calder on Unsplash

1. Martin Luther King Jr. was born on Jan. 15, 1929. His birth name was Michael but was changed to Martin by his father (who also changed his name) in 1934 (after Martin Luther, the leader of the Protestant Reformation in the 1500s).

2. At 14 he won a contest with a speech about civil rights. 

3. He started college when he was just 15.

4. He worked for a newspaper as one of his first jobs.

5. Stevie Wonder wrote his song "Happy Birthday" to help build on the campaign to make Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday a national holiday. He asks a simple question throughout the song, “Why has there never been a holiday where peace is celebrated throughout the world? The time is overdue.” 

6. According to the King Center, Martin Luther King, Jr. was jailed 30 times for charges such as civil disobedience.

7. MLK Jr. was awarded 20 honorary degrees.

8. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was instrumental in getting the Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed. This act outlawed discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. It made it illegal to segregate based on race in schools, the workplace, and public accommodations (or facilities that serve the general public including hospitals and libraries). It may be hard for your kiddos to believe that there was once a time when children could not drink from the same drinking fountain or use the same bathroom because of the color of their skin. MLK fought to end that.

9. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Peace in April 1964.

10. Martin Luther King Jr. married Coretta Scott on June 18, 1953. The ceremony was performed by his father, Martin Luther King Sr. Coretta had the vow "to obey" removed from the vows, which was almost unheard of at the time. 

11. MLK Jr. and his wife had four children: Martin Luther King III, Bernice King, Yolanda King, and Dexter King.

12. His "I Have a Dream" speech was not his first at the Lincoln Memorial. He gave a speech there on voting rights in 1957.

13. He survived an attempt on his life in 1958. He was stabbed with a letter opener by Izola Ware Curry. He underwent hours of emergency surgery. Surgeons said one sneeze could have punctured his aorta and killed him.

14. Martin Luther King Jr.'s mother was killed six years after his murder. She was shot while playing the organ at church.

15. One of the best ways kids can understand what he was all about is by listening to his famous "I Have a Dream" speech, which he made on Aug. 28, 1963. Kids of any age can listen and read along through this link

Unseen Histories on Unsplash

After listening to the speech, ask your kids a few questions to help them grasp the magnitude. Here are a few suggestions:

  • What does it feel like to be excluded? Have you ever been excluded from something?
  • What is a slave? What does it mean to be enslaved?
  • What was the emancipation proclamation
  • What is something you can do to make others feel more included?
  • Can you think of a time when you saw something wasn't right, and you spoke up?
  • What does the word "community" mean to you?
  • What do you love about your community?
  • Is there one thing you can do each day to help others?
  • What are the big things you'd like to change in the world?
  • What is your big dream?

with additional reporting by Taylor Clifton

This Boss’s Day, celebrate the leaders in your life with these unique Boss’s Day gifts from their favorite employee (you, obviously)

There’s nothing like a supportive boss, especially when you’re a parent. It’s hard to find the words to express how much we appreciate our manager’s guidance, flexibility, leadership, and generally making our workdays fulfilling. We also know being an effective leader isn’t easy, and Boss’s Day is the perfect time to show them what they mean to us.

Boss’s Day is October 16th, but since it falls on a Sunday this year, will be observed Monday the 17th. We’ve combed some of our favorite websites for the best unique Boss’s Day gifts that’ll remind them that their hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed.

Self-Care Truth or Dare

Self Care Truth or Dare game

With Self-Care Truth or Dare, your favorite boss will be challenged to open the cylinder, pick one of the 50 sticks, and either reflect on a positive aspect of their life or complete an achievable goal (Truth or Dare, get it?). Great for reminding them to take a moment out of their day for themselves.

Self-Care Truth or Dare ($15.00) Here

Shattered Glass Ceiling Necklace

In the world today, we're more aware than ever of the presence of the "Glass Ceiling" and those who are absolutely smashing it! We're loving this necklace, but you can also check out the Shattered Glass Ceiling Paperweight or Shattered Glass Ceiling Ring.

Shattered Glass Ceiling Necklace ($68.00) Here

Work From Home Survival Kit

Working from home, or a hybrid work model, are definitely more the norm since 2020, and while we love so much of what comes from the ability to skip rush hour, it does have its share of challenges. Help them battle the day with this kit!

Work From Home Survival Kit ($20.00) Here

The Work Wellness Deck

A deck of 60 ways to bring more balance, both physically and mentally, into life at work.

The Work Wellness Deck ($19.00) Here

Spreadsheet Shortcut Mug

Mug with Excel shortcuts printed on it

For the boss who excels at Excel, this handy mug has over a dozen easy-to-follow shortcuts (that actually work!).

Spreadsheet Shortcut Mug ($12.00) Here

Video Conference Mute Button

Conference call mute button

Plug it in, choose which colors you want corresponding to Mute and Unmute, and never forget your mic is still on when you're talking to the Door Dash guy ever again.

Video Conference Mute Button ($49.00) Here

Gandhi Quote Canvas Wall Art

Gandhi quote decor

It's pretty hard to argue with Gandhi, and this quote is a really beautiful way to honor your boss.

Gandhi Quote Canvas Wall Art ($19.99) Here

Keep Calm Notebook

Keep Calm I Have a Spreadsheet for That notebook

For the spreadsheet-makers and note-takers, this blank lined journal is a total win!

Keep Calm I Have a Spreadsheet for That Notebook ($7.95) Here

Fixer of Everything Wooden Desk Sign

Fixer of everything desk plate

You may call them "Ms. Smith" or "Steve", but we all know their real title. Make sure everyone who enters their office knows, too, with this retro-inspired desk sign.

Fixer of Everything Wooden Desk Sign ($9.98) Here

To My Boss Keychain

A small token of your appreciation, this keychain has a super sweet message that we couldn't have written better, ourselves!

To My Boss Keychain ($10.95) Here

Boss's Day Succulent Gift Package

Boss's Day succulent gift basket

Treat your green-thumbed leader to a pretty plant with a straight-to-the-point message telling them how much you rely on them.

Boss's Day Succulent Gift Package ($39.19+) Here

Customized Business Card Holder

A classic gift for a reason, this professional and thoughtful business card holder offers the option of text and font added to a vegan leather holder in multiple colors and styles to choose from.

Customized Business Card Holder ($8.00+) Here

Guest Book Leader Sign

Leader guest book sign

A gift from the whole team is always a great idea, and we love this guest-book-style sign that has several customization options!

Guest Book Leader Sign ($22.50) Here

Things I Was Right About Notebook

They know their stuff, so your manager is sure to appreciate having a convenient notebook to record their wins. You know, for posterity's sake. 

Things I Was Right About Notebook ($11.84) Here

Conference Call Bingo Mousepad

Since we know your boss is already great at multitasking, they can definitely listen and play at the same time, right?

Conference Call Bingo Mousepad ($14.44) Here

Working With Me Candle

Coworker candle and jar of matches gift

It's okay. We don't have to say it out loud. You know you're their favorite employee. This set has several scent options to choose from, as well as packaging and the option to add these cute little matches!

Working With Me Candle ($16.00+) Here

Terrifying Boss Card

Funny Boss's Day card

Terrifying? Terrific? Maybe a little of both? This card nails each sentiment, even though we know they're really the best.

Terrifying Boss Card ($6.00+) Here

Antique Ship Whiskey & Wine Decanter Set

Whether they display this set in their office or their home, this decanter is a truly gorgeous gift for the leader who appreciates wine and spirits!

Antique Ship Whiskey & Wine Decanter Set ($69.95) Here

Concrete Prism Candleholder Set

This super unique gift allows your boss to design their own candleholder setup with these multi-colored concrete prisms!

Concrete Prism Candleholder Set ($70.00) Here

"No" Button

Give them the gift of easy communication with this handy "No" button! It even includes 10 different sayings. Well, not completely different: they still all say "no".

"No" Button ($10.00) Here

If you buy something from the links in this article, we may earn affiliate commission or compensation. Prices and availability reflect the time of publication.

All images courtesy of retailers.

Being a stay-at-home mom sounds a bit like a dream, right? After all the years of working, earning and saving, finally, the day comes when you’re off on maternity leave. Maybe a nice baby shower with lots of cake and cute clothes and teddy bears. Then, finally, you get to sit and put your feet up and wait for this little person to take over your life.

And then he or she arrives. No sleep, lots of crying, constant hunger… and that’s just you! Babies are so demanding at first, and our whole life is about trying to seek out a little bit of undisturbed sleep where we aren’t worrying about whether the baby has stopped breathing in bed or our boobs aren’t painful, swollen rocks leaking little puddles onto the sheets.

But one day, everything settles down into a bit of a routine. You find that you get back some sleep and you start to feel human again. Now’s the fun bit, right? You get to just hang out with this little person, go to the park, long walks in the pram, coffee with other moms and just kicking back while the rest of the world keeps working.

The baby doesn’t need you 24/7 anymore and, in fact, you can start leaving them with other people for short periods. Your brain is starting to work again, slowly. You can even start to hold a decent conversation without either yawning or crying.

Now, I don’t know about other moms out there, but this was about the time I started to get bored. And this was, as a result, where the guilt really started!

I struggled to get up in the morning and focus for the day. Some days, I really found it hard to get motivated to leave the house at all. I felt like I was really cheating the system and just sitting around contributing nothing. I knew all the rhetoric—stay-at-home moms work harder than anyone in the workplace, enjoy the time to yourself and with your baby, they are little for such a short time, blah blah blah.

But I just couldn’t get into it.

I would try and get into being a really present and tuned-in mom. I would sit down and do some kind of really fun and engaging game with him that I had seen on Play School –yeah, this is awesome… look how much fun he’s having… I’m such a good mom, I would think. Then I’d look at the clock. Ten minutes had passed!! I still had the whole rest of the day to fill.

I realized why so many moms join mother’s groups and coffee mornings. It’s just to fill in time and get out of the house so the day goes faster! I’m not really much of a “joiner,” though, so I struggled to turn up for those kinds of things, and as a result, I spent a lot of time on my own slowly going crazy.

The guilt was enormous.

Why wasn’t I enjoying this more? What’s wrong with me that I am not relishing not having to go to work and have boring conversations with people all day about stuff that doesn’t really matter? I mean, after all, isn’t this the most important work you can do?

Well, I didn’t feel important; in fact, I felt like a fraud. Everyone else was out there earning a living and contributing to society, and I was here at home with this beautiful little human I made, bored out of my mind reading board books and playing with teddies all day.

Then one day, someone emailed me asking me to do some part-time work from home.

I resisted at first, feeling a different type of guilt. It was the guilt of admitting to myself that I didn’t really like staying at home. This is much harder guilt to overcome when there is absolutely nothing in life stopping you from enjoying staying at home with your baby.

While you feel like people will judge you if you go back to work and leave bub with someone, you feel equally judged being at home and not really having your head fully into being a mom. I know everyone says that just being with you is all the baby needs, but I really felt like I was completely robbing this kid of having someone around who could actually do fun things that would help his development.

So I hired a nanny and took this job.

The first day I left him, there were tears all around. I was crying at leaving him, he was crying that mommy had ditched him with some complete stranger and the guilt was so intense I could almost taste it.

But then I got in the car, I turned up the music (and my resolve) and I headed into the city. I spent a few hours in meetings where I was briefed about my role, I got to meet a few people, I had a nice lunch and then I sat for a moment in a coffee shop. For the first time in months, I felt pretty happy.

I headed home and walked in to be greeted with the most amazing sight. My little boy was sitting with our nanny, on her lap, playing with a little toy, and she was singing and playing the xylophone. They were having a lovely time.

You could tell just taking one look at this woman that hanging out with kids is her favorite thing to do in life. They had obviously been having a ball. She’d done some foot painting with him, they’d been out for a walk and bought some books at the second-hand shop. She was just glowing with happiness and excitement at having spent a few hours with my son.

And I actually felt a great sense of relief and contentment. From that day on, I was a much happier person and, I think, a much better mom. On the days I wasn’t working, I really loved every second of being with my boy, and on the days I was working, I really loved every second of being on my own. It was as though it took being away from him to make me realize how special it was to actually be with him.

It took me this time to realize that I’m not the sort of person who can stay at home all day with a baby, and that is actually OK. The thing about parenting is that you have to do it the way that works for you.

There’s no right or wrong way to organize your family or to live your life. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that you just don’t like not staying at home full-time.

Everyone needs balance, and I actually think it’s really healthy to have your kids get used to being looked after by other people and to understand early on that they really can live without you. And if, at the end of the day, you are a happier, more peaceful person, then that can only make you a better mom as well.

So don’t allow yourself to feel guilt, regardless of what you end up doing. As long as you love your kids and you set up your life so that you are the best person you can be when you are with them, then you are being a good parent. Go out and live life the best way you can and always remember, you are a person in your own right, as well as a mom who loves your kids. There’s no room for any guilt in that sentence!

Originally published Sept. 2016.

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I'm a Dubai expat mum and I love to tell the funny side of life here and about travelling the world with a young family.Because let’s face it – no matter how well planned your travel journey, its those those funny, quirky moments that appear out of nowhere that create the real memories. 

The pandemic has reshaped the landscape of many aspect of our lives, and perhaps one of the biggest is the balancing act of parenting and work. In December 2021, Kuli Kuli, Sylvatex, and Uncommon Cacao (all mom-backed companies) performed a survey of over 1,000 working moms to get a better understanding of how the pandemic has altered their ability to juggle work and parenting.

The survey polled women in all 50 states, with single moms accounting for 45% of the respondents. Seventy-two percent had one or two children, 60% came from low income backgrounds and moms included those who identified as white, Black, Hispanic or Latina and as Asian, Middle Eastern or North African, or multiracial. All that to say: the survey covered a lot of diversity!

While there were many revelations from the survey as it demonstrated the lack of childcare, moms becoming a “default parent” at home, a large exit from the workforce and more, one key point stands out: Flexibility keeps moms working.

photo: Pexels

Out of necessity when the pandemic started, many moms made the choice to leave the workplace to provide some sense of normalcy and to balance domestic life because their employers didn’t provide enough flexibility. And while 55% of moms said that spending more time with their children was a bonus, moms actually benefit from having work that is flexible as it “significantly relieved some of the pressure points of parenting that were exacerbated by the pandemic.”

Of those surveyed, 79% of moms prefer remote work when it comes to the environment. When they have access to empathetic employers, flexible hours and paid time off they are more likely to stay with their current employer. Many moms found that their employers (especially those with leadership who were parents themselves) were willing to roll with the punches and make swift changes to allow their employees to work remotely.

Stephanie S. from the survey shares, “Going into the office is completely optional. It’s a mutual respect for priorities in both our world’s that has been missing for so long…I’m so glad to be part of a movement to a more equal future that provides respect and support in the most important work we will ever do, raising the next generation.”

While there is much work to be done to continue evolving the workplace to incorporate parenthood, many employers are well on their way to offering the flexibility that is key to keeping moms working.  You can read the rest of the survey findings here.

 

––Karly Wood

Feature photo: RODNAE Productions via Pexels

 

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Everything—and everyone—is awesome! Today the LEGO Group announced a new rainbow set that celebrates the world’s diversity. Inspired by the rainbow flag of the LGBTQIA+ community, it features 11 unique monochrome figures with individual colors and hairstyles.

The 346 piece set, “Everyone is Awesome” will go on sale Jun. 1, just in time for Pride Month. You can buy it online at LEGO.com or at LEGO stores for $34.99. Once completed, it’s the perfect size for a desk or window display, to bring a colorful pop to life every day.

Set designer Matthew Ashton, Vice President, Design said: “I wanted to create a model that symbolizes inclusivity and celebrates everyone, no matter how they identify or who they love. Everyone is unique, and with a little more love, acceptance and understanding in the world, we can all feel more free to be our true awesome selves!”

The LEGO brand’s commitment to diversity goes far beyond the release of a new set. The LEGO Group partners with Workplace Pride, Stonewall and Open for Business to collaborate on strategies supporting employees who identify as LGBTQIA+, as well as allies. And the company supports Diversity Role Models, a UK-based charity which educates children on inclusivity and empathy.

It’s been a good month for LEGO releases. Buy this new set and build on with pride!

––Sarah Shebek

Images courtesy of LEGO

 

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I am a grown adult and like many out there I have struggled to keep a clean home.  After being a stay-at-home wife and mother for nearly 10 years you would think I would have my act together which is laughable. Stay-at-home wives or mothers should all get awards for the work that they do even on their worse days. Really any parent should. There are no days off and the skills that you develop and bring to the table are over qualifying for many workplace jobs.

But that does not mean that sometimes we are self-doubting and feeling down that our efforts are not seen. One of the tasks that seem to do that the most for us is keeping up with the housework. Over the last year with lockdowns and restricting us to being at home all day long has only added to the workload in some cases.

I have terrible indoor allergies. With everyone being home so much, creating more dirt and dust along with stirring it up more, I have been miserable, to say the least. To add to the buildup of cleaning, it is difficult to do so with virtual learning going on and having to encourage a quiet learning environment for my easily distracted second-grade child. All with a too eager to help and be included three-year-old.

But through creativity and inspiration, I believe I have finally found a solution to all! Like I mentioned before I have an easily distracted child at home that I was at my wit’s end with. Trying to keep him on task was difficult. Finding solutions to help him with his focus, I, in turn, have found a way to do so for myself.

Enter lists! I know it seems kind of silly. Believe me, I thought it was too, but cleaning things as I noticed that they have not been cleaned in a while and ignoring some important things was leading to health problems and concerns for myself. With the sideways looks everyone gives and gets if someone sneezes or coughs being in public was getting hard. So, like just about anyone else does nowadays I searched Pinterest. Not for allergy remedies because I have already tried those but how to keep a clean home.

Now of course feel free to edit this schedule as you need to for yourself and your lifestyle by all means. I surely did to work around my children’s soccer schedule and family time together but here’s my schedule.

Daily Tasks: Make beds, do dishes, and straighten up. For the rest I try to go off the instructions below.

Mondays:  Master Bedroom Day • dust • clean mirrors • clean fan • vacuum/sweep • declutter (no more than 10 mins) • laundry—bedding. After roaring and ripping all weekend whether at home or out on the go it feels good to reset the bedroom and have a clean fresh start to the week.

Tuesdays: Bathrooms Day • clean showers and tubs • clean toilet • clean sink, counter, and faucet • clean mirror • sweep and mop floors • restock toiletries • laundry—towels. Often times we host family or friends on the weekend so the bathroom needs a little cleaning up after.

Wednesdays: Kitchen Day • clean out refrigerator • wipe down counters • wipe down the table and chairs • sweep and mop floors • laundry—whites. Trying to reduce our footprint, we try to use as many reusable items as we can such as cleaning the floors with washable reusable floor pads and using bar rags to wipe everything down.

Thursdays: Living Room Day • dust • clean tv • refresh fabrics • sweep/vacuum floors • declutter (again no more than 10 mins) • laundry—lights. At this point, the weekend is starting to creep up on us again and even if we don’t host company it’s nice to enjoy the weekend in a clean area.

Fridays: Alternates • Week 1: all appliances • Week 2: kitchen cabinets (go ahead and throw out those mix match Tupperware lids. You don’t need them!) • Week 3: windows • Week 4: baseboards • laundry—darks. These are the little things that often get ignored the most that make a big difference!

Saturday: Outside • clean up car • straighten up garage • sweep walkways • yard work • laundry—catch up. Depending on your weekend plans don’t feel guilty if some of these fall by the wayside especially in cooler months or rainy days. But a little effort goes a long way into making your home one of the best in the neighborhood.

Of course, all of these are just suggestions and there are always places for improvement. I understand many work on top of taking care of the home. If you are having a busier day or week than usual and can’t get to everything you shouldn’t feel guilty. The point is to manage your time easier where you can. The hands-on tasks are meant to take away from as little of your well-spent time as possible. Other than switching around laundry try to keep your tasks down to less than an hour for everything. Also, get the whole family involved. Find ways to make it a game and make it fun. If you can turn on your old school jams and rock out!

I am your average messy hair, coffee drinking, classy, sassy, stay at home mom. Trying to get the impossible done every day.

Are you interested in working remotely? FlexJobs released its 8th annual list of the “Top 100 Companies to Watch for Remote Jobs in 2021” This list is based on an analysis of approximately 57,000 companies and their remote job posting histories in the FlexJobs database between Jan. 1, 2020 and Dec. 31, 2020.

remote work

Computer/IT and healthcare continue to be the most promising career fields for remote-friendly jobs, while the financial industry has also enjoyed sustained growth of remote job opportunities. Customer service and sales also remain strong prospects for remote jobs.

“The coronavirus pandemic has permanently reshaped the workplace and how, when, and where people work,” said Sara Sutton, Founder and CEO of FlexJobs. “Business models have been forever disrupted with the realization that remote work is smart, strategic, and sustainable for companies to embrace, improving not only the bottom line but also providing benefits to the overall workforce.”

“FlexJobs has been compiling our Top 100 Companies to Watch for Remote Work list since 2014, and although the circumstances for the rapid and massive adoption of its practices are extremely unfortunate, we are excited to see so many more organizations deeply integrating remote work both now and for the future,” Sutton concluded.

The top 10 companies that made this year’s Top 100 Companies to Watch for Remote Jobs list include:

  1. Lionbridge
  2. TTEC
  3. Liveops
  4. Working Solutions
  5. Kelly Services/Kelly Connect
  6. Williams-Sonoma
  7. TranscribeMe
  8. Sutherland
  9. Robert Half International
  10. Transcom

To view the entire 2021 Top 100 Companies for Remote Jobs list, please visit https://www.flexjobs.com/blog/post/100-top-companies-with-remote-jobs-2021/.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: XPS on Unsplash

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Would this have happened if I hadn’t gone on leave?” That is the pervasive question, Sunny, a product manager at a San Francisco tech company still can’t shake. She returned from leave to find she missed an opportunity for promotion; her manager submitted an incomplete performance review; and as she described, “I came back to a new manager, new role, new team, with all new people. No one I had worked with previously for four years…My manager so swiftly handed me off… Felt like I was washed up trash.” Ultimately, she believed maternity leave set her back.

maternity leave

In an effort to better understand why being a working mom is so hard, a topic that has become a perpetual obsession of ours, we set out to research the return from maternity leave experience: What factors, during this vulnerable time, propel a woman into a state of struggle or set her up to thrive? We interviewed ten moms in tech and heard diverse experiences, ranging from “easy” to “horrific.” For those women at the most trying end of the spectrum, we found a powerful theme: While a woman is on maternity leave she is out of sight, out of mind. This creates the opportunity for bias, and can negatively impact the momentum of her career. Initially, the bias was due to poor manager decisions but then perpetuated by the absence of company processes and guardrails. An organization’s antidote is surprisingly simple and requires relatively little financial cost: Continue to advocate for her (because she still works here).

Before we go any further, it’s important to note that relative to other American women, the moms we talked with have it good, all with maternity leaves lasting at least 12 weeks. There is no federal paid maternity leave in the US; one in four moms go back to work just 2 weeks after giving birth. The tech industry has a unique opportunity to set an example and redefine gender equity. The same industry that has raised the bar of employee experience can surely do the same for women, if women truly are a priority.

Now, onto our findings…

It’s Hard to Advocate When You’re Feeling Insecure

Behind every maternity leave is a story, and often a challenge. In our interviews alone we heard from moms who spent their maternity leaves battling postpartum depression, PTSD from a traumatic birth, health complications requiring re-hospitalization, breastfeeding difficulties, and at the very least, exhaustion. Showing up to work that first day was momentous. It marked the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one. And even with their seniority and experience, they were anxious, emotional and self-conscious. Understanding this context is important to grasping the underlying backdrop to a woman’s experience when returning to work: Advocating for what we need may be harder when we feel insecure.

“I wasn’t expecting it to be this physically and emotionally hard. I had postpartum depression. The first 3 months were anxiety and exhaustion. I was an emaciated zombie.” —Liana, Scientist

“I questioned everything: What I was doing, what I was worth, what I should be focusing my efforts on, if I should be at this company, what value I bring them.” —Courtney, Business Development Executive

“I don’t want people to think ‘she can’t handle that job.’” —Alex, Finance Executive

maternity leave

Women Miss Promotion Opportunities While on Maternity Leave

Can a woman get promoted while she is pregnant? The answer, according to federal law, is yes. Equal access to promotion seems to get blurry in practice, however, when it comes to opportunities while a woman is on maternity leave. We heard from women who believed they were not considered for opportunities while on leave that they otherwise would have been.

Lacking explicit conversations with their managers about organizational changes or promotion opportunities, they speculated that their absence took away friction that would have been present if they were there: No one needed to relay the news, explain why they hadn’t been considered, or hear them self-advocate. When a woman is not there to advocate for herself, what systems are in place to ensure she’s not left behind?

Sunny, a product manager, described her back to work experience as “horrific.” While she was out, a position was created with a similar job description to her role but with a higher title. The position was filled, without feedback on why she was not granted the opportunity. It is Sunny’s belief that if the role had opened while she was present, there would have been a conversation with her manager regarding the opportunity. In her absence, she could not advocate for herself, and unfortunately, Sunny believed that her manager failed to do so for her. She had lost an opportunity.

“If I hadn’t gone out on leave, they wouldn’t have been able to forget about me. I would have been able to advocate.” —Sunny, Product Manager

maternity leave

Women on Leave Can Be Shortchanged of Feedback

Semi-annual review cycles are common in tech companies. When a woman is caring for her newborn during a review period, her manager no longer has the pressure of needing to prepare feedback to deliver face to face. Some of the women we spoke with said their manager seemed to put less effort and time into their review than if they had been there. Overlooking women during performance reviews can have penalizing financial implications, as ratings are often tied to compensation. Additionally, a superficial review is a missed opportunity for feedback, which is critical for growth.

Mimi, a designer, felt great about the work she had done prior to her maternity leave. Despite four months of daily vomiting during a high-risk pregnancy, she never missed a day of work, and “would have been proud of the work regardless of what was going on.” She worked the first half of the year, but the review process started right after she was out. When she returned from leave she opened her review, finding that her manager hadn’t written anything. She asked him why and was told, “I didn’t write anything because you weren’t here.” Mimi believes the lack of written feedback she received impacted her career. She missed the feedback, recognition and consideration she deserved.

“My manager not taking the time to summarize and describe the work I did meant he didn’t recognize it… That was such a hard time in my life. Being pregnant was so difficult…If you did the work, you deserve to be recognized, whether or not you’re in the office when the rating is delivered.” —Mimi, Designer

maternity leave

Without Expectation Setting, Some Women Return to Less

Going on maternity leave often means managers or coworkers must pitch in to cover the work. But some women returned to find their roles had changed, their responsibilities shifted, or their previous work credited to someone else. From a legal perspective they had returned to the same title. But from the women’s point of view their previous work had been forfeited. There had been no expectations set for temporary coverage, making their responsibilities upon return ambiguous for both the woman and the person covering her work. Ultimately, their career was worse off for going on maternity leave.

Courtney, a business development executive, worked tirelessly during her pregnancy to seize what would be a lucrative and newsworthy deal. She left for maternity leave on what she described as a “mic drop moment,” with only the final terms left to define. Her manager covered for her while she cared for her newborn, and when she returned the deal hadn’t officially closed. She asked to take back her account and carry the baton through the finish line. Her manager nodded yes, but left her off email after email, eventually claiming her deal for himself. His career shined by work she initiated, and her career stalled as a result.

“[Being on leave] made it much easier for my boss…to capitalize on it…The playing field was wide open…[I felt] empty. Everything that I was working on that was good was taken.” —Courtney, Business Development Executive

maternity leave

Our Recommendation: Continue to Advocate for Her (She Still Works Here)

We believe that the current return to work experience contributes to unequal gender outcomes. Women reach leadership levels at lower rates than men, and with the birth of their first child women will earn 20 percent less than men. In an attempt to attract, retain and develop women, companies must implement explicit family benefits (e.g. a solid maternity leave). But enacting a policy is not enough to avoid unintended consequences and bias. And unlike benefits, our recommendations are free, and only require more intentional process and a commitment to valuing the careers of women on leave.

Before She Goes on Leave:

  • Her manager should ask her to complete any relevant work needed in preparation for a performance review if it will occur while she is out (e.g. write a self-review, request peer feedback).

  • She and her manager should agree to a coverage plan during leave, and role expectations and responsibilities upon her return.

While She’s on Leave:

  • Specific policies should be in place and enforced if managers submit an incomplete review

  • Managers should consider themselves their direct’s advocate while she is on leave. They should consider her, and throw her hat in the ring for any position they otherwise would have if she were present.

  • Peers, managers and leaders alike can keep her top of mind for others with “small” gestures, like including the woman’s name and photo on team slides or referencing work she’s done when relevant.

When She Returns from Leave:

  • Managers should hold direct conversations about any organizational changes that were made in close proximity to her absence, providing explicit feedback and allowing for open dialogue and questions.

  • She and her manager should revisit the coverage plan created prior to leave and discuss how she can best ramp up on her responsibilities.

maternity leave

Let’s Speak up: It’s the First Step Towards Change

The word bias has a heavy connotation. It implies neglect, or even intention. But in no way were the experiences our moms relayed ones of intentional disenfranchisement. Instead, they had been caught in fast-paced, well-intentioned, companies, with little time for others to notice, all while feeling immensely vulnerable.

Maternity leave, itself, is a modern iteration to a workplace made for men. If the construct of work were created today, with women accounting for 47% of the employee population, work culture might shift to support women returning from leave. And that is exactly what we hope to do by bringing more transparency to the return to work experience. When we are transparent about our experiences, and the effect of our current workplace policies and culture, change will follow.

This is the first article in a series of insights describing the return to work experience. Check out these articles that are next in the series:

How Invisible Work & Sacrifices Affect Working Moms.

Moms Are Drowning. Here’s How We Save Them.

This post originally appeared on Medium.com.
Anne Kenny & Natalie Tulsiani
Tinybeans Voices Contributor

Anne Kenny and Natalie Tulsiani are user researchers and designers who co-founded Shift the Workplace, a research consultancy that helps companies identify opportunities to support caregivers. With 30 years of combined experience at Huge, Microsoft and Airbnb, we offer tangible, practical recommendations tailored to the company's culture.

We are seven months into the pandemic and caregivers continue to be impacted by the increasing challenges of juggling work and family commitments. Recent labor statistics show that nearly 80% of the 1.1 million workers who dropped out of the workforce in September were women, and that number may continue to grow. A new study by Fidelity Investments finds that nearly 4-in-10 working women (39%) are actively considering leaving the workforce or reducing their hours due to increased remote schooling and caregiving responsibilities.

Woman working on laptop

“As more women and caregivers nationwide find themselves contemplating stepping away from their career or reducing hours at work, Fidelity is here to support them,” said Kathleen Murphy, president of personal investing at Fidelity Investments. “From providing financial planning support in the workplace, to working with women one-on-one to evaluate options to keep savings goals on track, to helping Fidelity’s own associates navigate these work and family challenges, we’re here to help.”

The study also found an increase in financial engagement among women since the onset of the pandemic. While women were already building good planning and savings habits, many have amped up those efforts in the last six months. 

Fidelity is collaborating with thousands of companies across the country to roll out Women Talk Money, a new program to help more women get financially engaged and connect with the guidance they need to address these pressing work and life decisions.

Fidelity_WomenSteppingOut_Infographic
Photo courtesy of Fidelity Investments

“Women and caregivers are being challenged like never before and are looking to become more informed and better prepared as they make financial choices for today and the future,” said Lorna Kapusta, head of women investors at Fidelity. “Women Talk Money delves into why women need to think differently about financial planning, how life choices may affect the growth of savings and future financial security, and how to create a financial road map to help reach individual goals and accommodate expected and unexpected detours along the way.”

The program’s flagship six-part video series provides an overview of the key factors that affect women differently and can have a significant impact on their financial futures. Each 10-minute segment is reinforced with a ‘What You Need to Know’ Resource Guide with key takeaways and actionable next steps to apply to personal planning.

—Jennifer Swartvagher

Featured photo: Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

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Sympathy, care, and concern for others, that’s the definition of compassion. And that’s the feeling we need to practice now more than ever.

As parents, you are facing challenges you never imagined just one year ago—the start of school may have felt hectic as you made those last-minute trips for school supplies and lunch boxes and felt the pressure to get the photo of your child with the cute “first day of school” sign to post on Facebook or to send to grandparents.

But this year, nothing compares to the uncertainty of virtual, in-person, or hybrid instruction (part virtual, part in-person). If you are a working parent, it’s possible that you still haven’t figured out how to meet your own work responsibilities, whether at home or at your workplace, while supporting your child’s in-person learning or supervising your child’s distance learning or the prospect of distance learning. Let’s face it, even those schools that have opened with children in class could face closures if there are virus outbreaks in them.

And even if you have come up with solutions, it is crucial to expect the unexpected. It is not realistic for your child to adapt to this new normal of mask wearing and social distancing without some struggle, and that is where compassion comes in. There may be more tears, eating or sleep issues, and more oppositional behavior, (all signs of stress).

And just as you need to remind yourself that this is hard and you aren’t going to always get it right, you need to remind your child of those same sentiments. Being compassionate toward yourself and your family members is all-important right now. It doesn’t mean that you are lowering your standards; it means that you need new standards for these new times.

Here is the conversation you need to have with yourself, your partner, and your children: “I know that this is hard, that we will all make mistakes sometimes, but we will get through it… together.”

It is also important to remind family members that you love and appreciate them…now more than ever.

 

 

I am a parent and grandparent with over four decades of experience in early childhood education. I share my passion, wisdom and experience, with parents and the people who care for and about children at Little Folks Big Questions, where we're out to answer the questions parents face in today's world.