When Maggie Stiefvater tweeted a list on being a mom and creative, it got her plenty of attention. The full-time author and former full-time portrait artist has had to balance her professional and parenting life for years. And like all other working parents out there, it wasn’t easy — hence the hilarious list. Whether you’re a working parent, a not-so-much working parent or not even a parent, you need to read this mom’s Twitter viral thread. Seriously.

With a 12- and 13-year-old, Stiefvater tweets, “That means that I have been both a mother and paying my rent as a creative professional for their entire lives. THEY REMEMBER ME NO OTHER WAY.” Like any of you non-judgmental mamas out there, she doesn’t suppose that her list is a “how-to” that parents absolutely, positively must follow. She admits, “It’s just things that have worked for me.”

Oh, and did we mention that her list is packed with completely fantastical awesomeness that might just make you laugh so hard you pee a little? Yeah, yeah. We know. If you’ve been pregnant more than once, that can happen pretty easily.

What does this magical list include? Well, Stiefvater tweets colorfully rich lines such as, “I cannot overstate this enough” FAIRIES WANT YOUR BABIES. They will take your child and replace it with a block of wood or sometimes two blocks of wood very close together. 280 char not enough for detail, google it.”

So if you’ve ever gone searching for an instruction manual for raising children while working…umm, this isn’t it. But if you need to take a break from all the serious stuff and want a good laugh, this list is for you.

What would you include on your how to raise children while working (in a creative or non-creative job) list? Tell us in the comments below.