Is your kid a pizza snob who thinks all donuts are filled to order? Is one of your proudest achievements buying in Rockridge before it was cool? Then you are definitely an East Bay parent. Read on to find out what else sets your breed apart.
Photo courtesy of Oaklandish
1. Your kids’ Saturday lunches come from the fruit sample trays at the Grand Lake farmer’s market.
2. You’re still not quite sure if you’re allowed to say “hella” in front of the kids.
3. You created a spreadsheet comparing private schools on such metrics as meditation/yoga spaces, depth of emphasis on social justice, and vegan/gluten/dairy free/fair trade/organic meal options.
4. You panic when the menu at Boot and Shoe asks you not to use your cell phone—they can’t mean kids, right?
Photo courtesy of Fairyland
5. You’re more likely to leave your house key at home than your Fairyland Magic Key.
6. Your child has mastered Ms. Pac Man from half a dozen haircuts at Snips for Kids.
7. You have never looked away just a second too long, and in that moment your toddler put goose poop in their mouth. No, that has never ever happened to you.
8. Your kids think Bakesale Betty is a celebrity.
Photo by Heather E. via Yelp
9. You’ve screamed louder than your little one while careening down the concrete slide at Codornices Park.
10. Your kids think all donuts are filled to order.
11. The Berkeley Parents Network makes you nuts (how does a simple question about sleeping turn into a heated debate on breastfeeding, helicopter parenting and veganism??) but your kid wouldn’t have survived past two without them.
12. Eight times out of ten, Temescal Alley wins out over the park as a play date location.
13. Your kids make a wish every time they go through the Caldecott tunnel.
Photo by Laine Trees via Flickr
14. Your gang prefers Halo Halo over fro-yo.
15. You practice a little bit of Alice Waters–style urban foraging when you hike through Tilden Park.
16. The only time you and your husband get to the Fox is to see Yo Gabba Gabba.
17. You’ve seen a child throw up attempting to finish a child-size “scoop” of ice cream at Fenton’s.
Photo by Cindy L. via Yelp
18.. You’ve tried to pay for coffee with a Thai Temple brunch token.
19. Your child knows what vegan soul food is, and they like it.
20. You’ve “staycationed” at the Claremont.
21. You’ve parked a mile away and hiked the whole fam over the University St. bridge for the annual Berkeley Kite Festival (or just sat in traffic for an hour and watched it from I-80).
Photo by Chris S. via Flickr
22. You’ve fudged your five-year-old’s age so they could ride the six-and-up zipline at Adventure Playground.
23. Your baby had every style of Oaklandish onesie.
25. The Fourth of July is terrifying.
26. You always have a stack of your Realtor’s cards on you, ready for when your SF friends say “The city is so nuts right now….”
27. You think there is nothing creepy about taking your family to the cemetery to look at holiday lights.
28. Your child learned her first swear word from you in the Berkeley Bowl parking lot.
29. You’ve considered getting a tattoo of the Jolly Trolly.
30. You are just a little smug about buying in Rockridge ten years ago.
Which ones hit home and which ones did we miss? Tell us in the comments below!
—Haley Reen, Arin Hailey Reese, Liz Victoreen Coffey, Melissa Bouse, Erin Feher, Rheanna Martinez, Erin Wallace, Sarah Bossenbroek, Melissa McElhatton Davis