Back-to-school season means saying goodbye to summer and getting ready for your next adventure, which typically means a lot of new gear. This year, with distance learning, hybrids and in-school sessions all on the table, you probably need a good laugh more than ever. Read on for some hilarious but cute (and clean) back-to-school jokes for kids.

photo: iStock

1. What does your computer do for lunch?

Has a byte! 

2. What did the buffalo say at drop off?


3. What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school? 

No, ma'am. I didn't miss it at all. 

4. Why do math books always look so sad?

They are full of problems. 

5. Why did the kid eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. 

6. How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experi-mints!

7. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because she wanted to go to high school.

8. What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

9. Where do pencils go on vacation?


10. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?  

The thesaurus.

11. What does a book do in the winter?

Puts on a jacket. 

12. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?

Because her students were so bright. 

13. What did the paper say to the pencil?

Write on! 

14. Why isn't there a clock in the library?

Because it tocks too much.

15. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?

Times Square! 

16. Why did the teacher jump into the pool?

He wanted to test the water. 

17. What should you grow in a school garden?

Human beans! 

18. Why do magicians always do so well at school?

They can handle trick questions. 

19. Where do surfers go to school?

Boarding school.

20. What is the smartest insect?

A spelling bee. 

21. Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they keep getting lost at C. 

22. Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane?

To achieve a higher education. 

23. Why didn't the fish go on vacation?

Because he was always in school. 

24. What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?

Looking sharp! 

photo: iStock

25. Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Pencil who?

Never mind, this is pointless. 

26. Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide. 

27. What did the spider make online?

A website!

28. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm. 

29. What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?

Sky diving school.

30. Why do calculators make great friends?

You can always count on them! 

31. What contest do skunks win at school?

The smelling bee! 

32. Did you know all books in the school library are the same color?

They're all red. 

33. What would happen if the dean lost his job?

He would lose his "ideanity." 

—Joshua Y. 

34. Why are there no clocks in the library?

Because they tock too much.  

—Amber Guetebier

featured image: iStock


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