Because you know you need some clean jokes for the kiddos!
If you’ve spent any time scrolling through our big list of jokes for kids you might have noticed that many of them are sent into our editor directly from hilarious kids themselves. So we’ve rounded them up into one hysterically funny and adorable collection. Read on for the best silly, sweet, totally clean jokes for kids (by kids!).
1. What do you call Chewbacca with cookies in its fur?
A chocolate-chip Wookie.
—Jake
2. What is a computer's favorite snack?
Computer chips!!
—reader Rebecca K.
3. What day of the week are most twins born on?
Twos-day!
(submitted by reader Scooter T.!)
4. What did one horse say to the other horse?
Neigh!
What did the kid say to the horse?
Hey!
What did the mane say to the horse?
Nothing, you silly, a mane can't talk.
—Henrik, age 8
5. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
—Jasper L., young reader submitted!
6. Why did the police play baseball?
He wanted to get a catch!
7. What did the microwave say to the other microwave?
Is it just me? Or is it really hot in here?
8. What does a cow love to watch?
A Moo-sical!
9. What does a cow love to watch?
A moo-vie!
10. What is a pirate's favorite movie?
The Avengrrrs!
11. What is a frog's favorite year?
Leap year!
—Yuna, age 8
12. Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
—Kaylee
13. What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilanty!
—Joe L, age 10
14. How do they answer the phone at the paint store?
Yellow!
—Lily, age 6
15. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for his miserable summer.
—reader submitted by Kaci Y.
16. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?
Primemates!
—Merci P., aged 10
17. What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party?
Ice Krispy Treats
—Emmerson H., age 13
18. Why do scissors always win a race?
Because they take a shortcut!
—Foster, age 5
19. How do you stop a bull from charging?
—Jadyn, Age 12
20. What’s yellow and looks like a pineapple?
A lemon with a new haircut.
—submitted (and created) by Rafael L.
21. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
"No eye-deer."
22. What word starts with the letter t, ends with the letter t, and has t in it?
A teapot!
—young reader Collin S.
23. It took 10 workers 10 days to build a bridge. How long would it take 5 workers to build the same bridge?
None—it’s already built!
—Liam, age 7
24. How do you make the word Tiger longer?
Ti-gerrrr
—Kabir, Age 9
25. How do you clean chicken? -
Put it in the dishwasher.
—Kabir, Age 9
A penguin.
—Zhan, age 5
—Jadyn, 12 (This kid is on fire! 🤣)
The booty!
29. If it takes two men to dig a hole in one day how long would it take for one man to dig a half a hole?
There is no such thing as a half a hole.
30. How do cats bake cake?
—reader Jacey
31. What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
—young reader Kohen
32. There's a girl on a boat in a pretty pink coat. What's her name?
What.
—Ray, age 9
33. Where does a rat go when it has a toothache?
34. What does an alien do when it is bored in school?
35. What does a broken plate say when she gets her cupcake?
Is this GLUE-ten free?
—Guess who? Ray! age 9
39. What did the kid learn about knowledge?
It was all knowing.
40. Why didn't the hyena cross the road?
He was too busy laughing.
41. What's a rabbit's favorite music?
Hip-hop.
42. What did they say when Marie Curie and Albert Einstein said the same thing at the same time?
Greatest minds think alike!
—Henrik, age 9
Infantry!
—Joe L., age 9
45. Why did the dragon cross the road?
46. Who won the race of princesses?
Rapunzel, By a hair!
47. What did the egg say when it was late for breakfast?
48. How do you stop a bull from charging?
You take away its credit card!
—Joshua Y.
49. Where does the T-rex go shopping?
The dino store!
—Joshua Y., age 9
50. Why was the rabbit happy?
Because somebunny loved him!
—Guess who? Joshua Y.!
51. What did the pear say to the shoeless?
You need a pair of shoes.
—reader submitted by Rose A.
52. What do you call a bear with no ear?
A "B"
—Alexis R.
—Joshua Y.
55. Why shouldn’t you trust stairs?
Because they are always up to something.
—Ryder, Age 3!!!
56. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.
—Suzanna R.
57. What do you call a cat burrito?
A purrito
—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters
58. What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey!
—Rosewyn age 8 and 3 quarters
59. How do you get a cat to code?
—Musegirl, 8
60. Why was the man mad at the clock?
He was ticked off!
—Nolan A. age 8
61. What is the strongest kind of shoe?
Under Armor!
—Liam A. age 9
Because he went down in History!
63. Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
—Sreeja K., age 8
64. Why can't you spell dark with a "c", so it says "darc"?
Because you can't c in dark!
—Shivani age 8
65. How do you clean a chicken?
An egg wash!
—MB, age 12
66. What's Joanna Gaines' favorite snack food?
Chips
—H.P., aged 9
He didn't have the guts.
68. What do you do when an astronaut’s wife is upset?
Give her some space.
69. What do you call ants that bring you food and drinks?
Serv-ants!
—Claire Y., age 8
70. Why couldn't the dinosaur sleep?
Because his brother was a dino-snore. He was boring AND loud.
—David E., 5
71.What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
—Rianna G., age 10
72. Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there!
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!
—Carson H.
73. What do snakes like to binge watch?
Monty Python.
—H.P., age 9
74. What do computers eat for lunch?
Anything they can byte.
—Henrik, age 9
75. Why can't a cyclops teach?
It only has one pupil.
—KG, age 10
76. What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
—Oliver, 7
77. What be the pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
Arrrr!
No, it be the C! (Sea).
—A hilarious 6-year-old reader.
78. Why do fish live in saltwater?
Pepper makes them sneeze! ACHOOOOOO!!!!!!
—Hasset A.
79. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school!
The following four jokes were written by Kaleb, age 4, as told to his grandpa:
80. Why did the cow lie down in the grass?
He was ground beef.
81. What did Mama cow say to Baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime.
82. Why did the phone walk in the water?
He was wading for a phone call.
83. What is blue, but not heavy?
Light blue.
84. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for fresh prints.
—Joshua N.
85. What is the best day to visit McDonalds?
Fry-Day!
—Gianni, age 6
86. What's a cow's favorite drink?
A s-moooo-thie.
—Young readers Jax (7) and Kora (5)
87. Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cow
Cow who?
Cows don’t say who, they say moooo!
—Adalyn, age 5
88. Why did the tomato stop?
Because he was out of juice.
—Karma E.
89. What are cats best at?
Cat-apulting!
—Macy (10)
90. What kind of stick does a cat chase?
A cat-stick!
—Macy (10)
91. What kind of fruit does a dog eat?
A dog-berry!
—Macy(10) & Katie (34)
92. Why do hockey players make great bankers?
Because they are good at checking.
—Henrik, age 9 3/4
93. Why won't Santa go in the chimney anymore?
He's claus-trophobic.
—E.A., 7
94. Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house; Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house?
The president!
—submitted by young reader Gwen I.
95. Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was trying to get away from the KFC.
—Ben, age 8
96. Who sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
—Alesha, age 11
97. Why was the snowman in the box?
These next five were sent in from Jax (7) and Kora (5):
98. What’s a dog's favorite toy?
A funny bone!
99. What’s a cow's favorite rock?
A mooo-n rock
100. What’s the scariest plant?
Bam-booo!
101. What’s a cow's favorite place to go?
The mooo-vies!
102. What’s the scariest injury?
A booo-booo!
(Jax & Kora!)
103. Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road?
To go with the traffic jam!
—Scarlett
104. What did the salad say to the carrot after it lost the fight?
You've lettuce down.
—Joe, age 10
105. Why can't Elsa hold a balloon?
Because she will let it go!
—Cheyenne, age 9
106. What do you get when you cross a horse with a narwhal?
A unicorn!
—Sophia M.
107. Mr. and Ms. Violet lived in the violet house, Mr. and Ms. Green lived in the green house, why couldn't Mr. and Ms. White live in the white house?
Because the president was already living there!
—Sara S.
108. What did the mummy bread say to the baby bread?
I loaf you!
—Sheen, 7
109. Why didn't the curtain go up?
Because it wanted to stretch out!
—Sanshray, age 7
110. What part of your body can cause the end of the world?
Your apoco-lips!
—AJ, age 8!
111. Why did the king go to the bathroom?
He wanted to sit on the throne.
—Eric, age 10
112. What does a cow like to drink?
A smoothie!
—Carolina, age 8
113. Why didn't the koala pass the test?
He did not koalafiy.
—Paxton
114. Where does Cupid get his arrows?
From Target!
—Benjamin T., age 11
115. What is the best time to see a dentist?
Tooth-hurty!!!
—Tyler R.
116. What did the salad say to the carrot when it asked for directions to a restaurant?
Beets me!
—Joe, age 10
117. What did the camper say to the other?
118. Why did the lion cross the road?
To get to the other pride!
119. What mood best describes a sad librarian?
Under the books.
—Elliana
120. What do you call a Buffalo that likes beef?
A Beef-alo
121. What does a camel say to a hunter?
Do you need some camel-flage
122. Why does the dinosaur like the bathroom?
Because it’s ex-stink-t
123. Why does the dentist use a computer?
Because it has Bluetooth.
—Jokes 120-123 courtesy of Gunner, age 8
124. Q: “What’s the best food to eat in the winter?”
A: “Brrrr-gurs!”
—Foster, age 7.5
Are you a kid with a joke to add? Send it to kate.loweth@tinybeans.com and we’ll put it in the story!
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