Photo: PixaBay

The holidays are fast-approaching, I hate this time of year. Everyone rushing around with fake smiles on their faces as they pass me by in the shopping center. Yes, you heard me right, fake smiles! I don’t care how much you proclaim to love the holiday season, there is no way that you are still smiling after countless hours of trying to locate those perfect gifts for your youngsters and everyone else on the list. Unless you are one of those people that have everything figured out before the end of August. In that case, I really do hate you. No, I’m just kidding!

Someone recently told me that I seem snarky and short-tempered and that I needed to find my groove and holiday spirit. Hello? Have you seen my bank account, there is no holiday spirit in there. Now, of course I’m being a little dramatic, I have survived 33 years of Christmas, 12 of those years being a mother and playing the role of Santa Clause and I’ve done a fairly good job at it too.

That’s right I have survived Christmas and the holidays, I never said it wasn’t a hard fought challenge though.  The holidays are stressful for everyone, now toss in my crazy family and is truly is a Christmas miracle that we all survive and live to tell the tale of. Ha, you might think I’m over-reacting, but have you ever had to replace a Christmas Tree on December 23rd because the lights went out on the pre-decorated artificial tree or have you ever seen grown adults argue over who mashes the potatoes the best. If you’re wondering, it’s me, it’s always been me.

If your family antics and craziness often leave you speechless more than 5 times in a span of one hour, you will need to really pay attention here. I’m going to share the never before told secrets to surviving Christmas.

Say No To Cookies/Baking. You really don’t need to sign-up and participate in multiple cookie/baking exchanges. Who created these anyways? I can’t be alone when I say that I barely have the time to prepare and make meals for the current day – and we’re not even contemplating desserts/sweets at these meals. If you must participate, bake with wine or anything else you can find that is stronger than coffee.

Don’t Spend Money You Don’t Have. This one is tough because as parents we want to spoil our children and see those cheesy grinning faces on Christmas morning that give us simply 5 minutes of happiness before we realize the amount of interest charges that will appear on the next credit card statement as you slink into the kitchen for a secret glass of wine.

Baileys: Just because it’s December and ‘tis the season to be MERRY. Drink, lots of it. Add it to everything, it will make the holiday season breeze on by.

Laugh:  Don’t aim for picture perfect. Laugh. Out loud. A lot. Don’t take the holidays too seriously or too personally.  The children will lose their socks and soil their clothes. You might forget a gift at home. The cookies will burn.  Just Laugh.

The Santa Lie: If your kids are still young, be fast on your feet. They will ask you random questions and you’ll need to have your story straight. “Mommy, why does Santa use the same wrapping paper?” Well, Santa doesn’t make wrapping paper, he must shop at Wal-Mart too. “Mommy, Santa didn’t eat all the cookies.”  Santa was really full, all the kids leave him too many cookies. The sleigh would be too heavy if he always ate all the yummy cookies.

And if all else fails, drink plenty or wine and eat cookies in bed while you watch all the television holiday specials where other mom’s seemingly have it all perfectly put together for the holidays.

Happy Holidays!