About six years ago when I was pregnant for the first time, I was talking to a co-worker that was also pregnant. This was her second pregnancy and she already had a toddler at home.

We were discussing mom brain. She told me that it just gets worse after the baby is born because you have to remember literally everything that has ever occurred or could possibly occur in the future and when. Things like how many ounces your newborn drank at what time on which side, when is their next pediatrician appointment, if they are old enough to start eating solid foods, if the cleaning supplies you are using will put them at a disadvantage on college applications and if they are pooping regularly.

Oh and you have to remember to go to work five days a week and try to fit in a shower here and there.

I seriously thought she was exaggerating.

WRONG!!

Mom brain gets worse when you have kids. There is just so much to remember that your brain is in a constant state of thinking about random things, like if you put your toddler’s sippy cup back in the fridge before you went to work or if you will find it in a month in the bottom of the toy chest.

Let’s take this photo as an example. This was taken five years ago, as you can tell cause at the top that says, “5 Years Ago.” I went to visit a friend that lives an hour away with my three-month-old.

I forgot the pack and play. AKA I forget to bring A BED FOR MY INFANT BABY TO SLEEP IN. So he slept in a drawer. He actually slept extremely well and I would like to thank Sweden and my smart friend Stefanie, aka Larry, for thinking of this.

Let me say this upfront—I have zero solutions to mom brain. I don’t think there is one.

My mom brain has progressively gotten worse because I added another one to the brood. Now I have to worry about two kids.

Two years ago, before we left for vacation, I spent a ridiculous amount of time making lists and packing for me, a one-year-old and a four-year-old. It was a very detailed list, down to the exact clothes I was bringing for both of them.

The day we were leaving arrived and the car was finally loaded. I did one last house check to make sure we didn’t miss anything and patted myself on the back for being so prepared. We started on our ten-hour journey to South Carolina.

Not surprisingly, we had to pull over after 30 minutes. I went to get our four-year-old out of the car and realized that HE WAS BAREFOOT.

This was the year of the rain boots, and I had left the mother-f’ing rain boots at home. I didn’t pack any other shoes for him because he wouldn’t wear anything but rain boots. He even wore them in his preschool picture that year.

So pretty much, you can plan for weeks in advance and your mom brain will be so focused on one thing that you forget the obvious. Like shoes for your child for a week-long vacation.

There is no moral to this story. I am not offering a solution to mom brain. I am just reiterating that this s**t is real. You probably thought about ten tasks you should complete all while reading this post.

So the next time you need to know the last time you bleached your kid’s toys, remember that you never actually did that in the first place. But it’s okay, those germs build immunity.

Until next time,

Jamie

 

This post originally appeared on Hashtag MomFail.