Becoming a mom is often times nothing like what you read in the guidebooks. There are all sorts of wild and wonderful changes, but also changes you truly never imagined (or swore would never happen—until you experience them for yourself). Here are 21 hilariously true things that go down in motherhood.
1. You grow eyes in the back of your head (and you get super speed). How else are you able to catch the baby that decides to roll herself off the bed?
2. A mini-van starts looking cuter and cuter.
3. Laundry day turns to laundry-every-darn-day.
4. You get real suspicious of silence.
5. You have a newfound appreciation for your own parents.
6. You call everyone under four feet tall "sweetheart" or "sweetie."
7. You rarely get to have all of your dessert to yourself. Everyone wants a bite.
8. You swear you're not scatterbrained ... and then you realize you walked out the door wearing your leggings inside out and tried to unlock your car with a pacifier.
9. Something will inevitably break. Something important like your great-great grandmother's 18th-century tea set.
10. You've learned how to turn the most simple and cheap things (like a plain ol' bucket of water) into hours of afternoon fun.
11. You frequently end phone conversations with "Stop that! Gotta go." And your friends understand why.
12. Hand sanitizer never leaves your side. Like, never. No, seriously, never-ever.
13. You call your husband "Daddy" in a way that is anything but kinky. Even in public. Even long after the kids have gone to bed.
14. You start talking in a high-pitched baby voice at home and sometimes to the grocery store checkout person, by accident.
15. You point out the cute doggie or the firetruck, and then realize your kids aren't in the car and your best friend isn't all that interested in "pretty doggies."
16. The slow cooker has become your new best friend.
17. What gym? Your workout routine now consists of squatting to pick up the toys and books littering your living room. Feel the burn!
18. You vow to teach your kid good manners. And it works out—sometimes.
19. You have one really buff arm from carrying around a massive diaper bag. And, after that, a 20-pound toddler.
20. You think "sleeping in" is waking up at the ripe hour of 6:30 a.m.
21. You feel like your real, true self. And you've never been filled with so much love.
— Ayren Jackson-Cannady, Kristina Moy, Phebe Wahl, Meghan Rose, Janine Dodge, Ruby Germain, Erin Lem & Kelly Aiglon