This is how I look during most days of quarantine. Are you digging the crazy bun and no makeup?
Well, as crazy as this messy bun looks, and I’m not sure why it always flops to the side, it is a blessing.
A symbol of renewal and change.
I used to be, like so many of us, the one running all over the place, all of the time and it was never-ending and downright exhausting.
To be honest though, most days I was simply running in circles.
Running from being bored. Running from not feeling grounded. Running from going through the motions.
But now, I’m lucky if I get out of my pajamas before noon on most days and it’s not because I’m sleeping.
Just the opposite, I’m present.
I’m present and not rushing out of the side door forgetting where my keys are.
I’m present and able to listen fully to each story the girls have to share, rather than rushing out to pick up the last-minute item I need for dinner.
I’m present, fully present, often waiting for them.
I’m talking with the girls over a cup of tea, not rushing, as they pop down to the kitchen to see me between classes online.
I’m making egg sandwiches and making sure it has a dash of love—not rushing.
I’m driving in the car, blasting our favorite songs and belting out the lyrics (most of them wrong)—not rushing.
And you know what? I’m okay with it.
I’m okay not rushing around and I’m okay sometimes being bored. Because I have gained so much more by not rushing.
It doesn’t mean I’m lazy.
It doesn’t mean I’m unmotivated.
It doesn’t mean I don’t want to try.
It just means I have accepted this slowed-down life and pace for what it is. A way to slow down and finally implement all we so desperately craved one year ago. For me, there is a silver lining to the pandemic. I was finally able to find some calm, some peace.
I was finally able to allow relaxation to seep into every pore of my body.
So the new me, with the weird side bun, no makeup, and a smile on my face, can be found planted in the kitchen or on the couch waiting for the girls to hang out and chat.
Maybe it’s a heart-to-heart, maybe just a quick laugh over something they saw online, or maybe we simply sit, with nowhere to go and embrace the moment.
Whatever it is, I’ll be here, not rushing.
Rushing. It is truly is over-rated.