I don’t know about you but for me a trip to the hair salon is a real treat. With four small kids at home, a husband who works 10-12 hours a day and a boatload of responsibilities, I rarely get to treat myself to the salon experience.

But when I do, I do it up.

Here are some thoughts that run through our mom-brains when we spend a few hours at the hair salon.

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We allow ourselves to go wild…but just for a minute

I am ready to transform! Buh-bye grays, ta-ta frizz, and toodles long unmanageable hair. Today I am cutting it all off. I will just flip through my Pinterest board called “Cool Hair” and pick something so fresh and funky. Maybe I will dye it silver with a touch of lavender. I read in US weekly that color combo was totally in this year.

(Over walks the stylist.)

Hi. Just a trim and a highlight please.

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All the stylists become a strange soap opera.

Look at this bevy of young hipsters. I wonder if they all hang out after work and party like the gang on Vanderpump Rules. Hmmmm…. now who would be hooking up here? Ah- I bet that girl over there totally has a thing for that guy by the sink. BUT WAIT! He looks like he has a thing for the stylist by the window.

It is all so dramatic in my head.

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We have too much time to think all of the sudden.

I have been sitting in this chair for two hours straight. I have read every magazine in here cover to cover and my phone has died. Geez. When was the last time I sat for two hours and did nothing. Do I even like this? I don’t know, this is such a foreign feeling.

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The re-creation of salon st‌yle is like studying for the bar exam.

Wow, I look amazing. How on earth did this person make my hair so light and bouncy? I should have been paying better attention! How am I going to recreate this look when I get home. First I am going to need all of the products that she used to make me look this stunning. Give me all of them, they are completely necessary. I wonder how many days I can ride this fab look out before I have to wash my hair… maybe four days if I sleep like a vampire and do not move all night long.

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The awkward conversation with the stylist almost always poses a problem.

What the heck are we going to talk about for 2.5 hours?  I don’t spend that much time conversing with my husband in an entire week!  I should have made a list of topics to chat about because I really hate awkward silence.  Well at least I can talk non stop about the kids.  Heaven knows that is what I spend the majority of my life discussing with folks anyways.  I doubt this girl will really care, she looks to be about 12.

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Fancy hair makes us social.

I look so great I can not simply go home. I need to show this mane off to the whole wide world! Where to go…. I have to pick the kids up from school in about an hour so that limits me. Maybe a quick trip to Target? Who am I kidding? I can’t do Target in an hour. Darn. At least I can walk into school looking fly and pick the kids up as opposed to hiding in the car line beneath a baseball cap. I doubt the kids will even recognize me looking this assembled.

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We forget that there IS a budget.

You know what? I don’t care HOW much this all costs. I never treat myself and quite frankly I look like dog poo. Do whatever it is you have to do to make me look like a superstar. I mean give me the works and spare no expense.

$300 later…

Just kidding. I actually care a whole lot now.

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