Has anyone besides me been living under a rock for the last year? When the heck did unicorn poop become an actual thing? Everywhere you turn there is some product made from mystical excrement. Just look at all of the ways you can show your love of unicorns, and poop.
Unicorn Poop Cookies
It is unfortunate that the word “poop” is in the recipe title, because otherwise I would totally eat three of these right now.
Unicorn Poop Slime
I am making it my life’s goal to hide this image from my daughters for all the days of their lives. I have no desire to create poopy anything. My guess is a hell of a lot of food die will be used in this goo and that is never a good idea.
Unicorn Poop Soap
It seems quite contradictory to wash up with anything that is named after fecal matter. Regardless, I bet is smells fantastic. Why couldn’t they just call it unicorn soap?
Unicorn Poop Lip Balm
So go ahead and pull this out on a date…you will be kissing nothing. This is just plain stupid.
Unicorn Poop Necklace
It isn’t made of diamonds and gold, but close enough?
Unicorn Poop Scarf
Wrap yourself in a pooping unicorn! At first glance this plush unicorn looks cute and snugly, then you pull out a scarf of rainbow poop straight from it’s butt and wrap it around your neck. You will never convince me that this is in vogue, ever.
Unicorn Poop Rocks
Why on earth would you buy rocks on the Internet? Furthermore, why would you buy a poop rock? You all do know that unicorns are pretend correct?
Unicorn Poop Gum
Fine. Chew poop. I give up.
Unicorn Poop Pillow
Go ahead and lay your weary head down at night…on a pile of dung.
The unicorn craze is out of control and must be stopped. If your five year old wants to play with a few unicorn figurines that is one thing, but when grown women start wearing mystical poop jewelry and accessories? Well that is whole other ball of…crap.