I’d like to start out by saying that giving birth was not what I expected. I expected a lot of screaming (by me) and a lot of nurses running around. What I got was the opposite. The staff was calm and surprisingly so was I and my fiance. I was in labor was six hours. The worst part? The contractions. Which I was also surprised by. I had invisioned pushing to be the worst part. Pushing was the easy part and actually was a relief! I did not notice the stitches that my doctor was doing or anything else for that matter once my baby was on my chest.
Boy was I exhausted but I was running on pure adrenaline. My body had just pushed out an actual human being! My fiance and I were in awe of the beauty of our little girl and the giving birth process. Once our little girl was here, the nurses asked if I wanted to breastfeed. I said yes and was shocked (still am) at how hard breastfeeding is! Everyone says it’s a natural process. In my only experience, ladies, I am sorry it is not. It is a lot of work! After the breastfeeding training, I was able to take a nap and enjoy my baby. Thankfully, we were able to leave the very next day and so excited.
We were home and totally excited! We were now a little family of three! What I didn’t know was that this was about to turn into the hardest month of my life. Once we got home, my body finally came to the reality of what it had done. I was exhausted, in pain, and wanting to feel like myself. I wanted to be a super mom! Instead, I felt weak and scared. The pain of using the bathroom was terrifying and intense. I cried every time. I would like to say I found relief but I never did. It took a whole month for my pain and blood to go away. My emotions were on a rollercoaster ride and I was exhausted at trying to understand myself and wanted a quick fix. Within a week, I realized that I was supermom and eventually I would return to being myself. I would be a stronger and better verion of myself.
During the first month after birth, you have to be patient with yourself. You are a superwoman who just did an amazing thing. For me, the hospital was easy, however, once we were outside the hospital, for a month was awful. Whether it is all awful or all awesome, it is so worth it! I cannot wait to do it all over again.