Being a stay-at-home mother is isolating enough. Throw in social distancing and you’ve got lockdown insanity.
I can handle being by myself. I’m pretty sure I’m an introvert. And when social distancing was first placed into effect I thought it was the best thing ever. No more FOMO as a mother and no more pressure to go and be somewhere I don’t want to be.
Two weeks later…..I started missing my friends. Our playdates, heading to the public library or meeting up at the gym. Slowly it began to dawn on me that I have nowhere to go.
Sure I can take my kids on a walk or head to the parking lot to ride bikes maybe even a hike if I’m motivated enough all by myself. And that is if the weather is even good.
Where I live the weather has been the biggest tease. One day it is snowing, the next sunny and warm, then raining and hailing. I don’t know how many times I’ve packed and unpacked my kids’ winter wear.
I think what I am struggling with the most is knowing that every day is the same. Sure I’ve put a flexible routine in place, primarily for my sanity but I need to start my day with a shower or face wash and make my bed—honestly, though, every day is starting to feel mundane. But the weather is pretty crappy right now and my mood is for sure dependant on the weather.
What I’m trying to get at is I am so feeling done. Just so done. This morning, I hid in my closet just so I could have time to read and do something for me that doesn’t require bowing every direction for the needs of my children. It felt pretty awesome for the short 10 minutes before they found me.
I may or may not let the kids go crazy and when they ask me for not one but five giant marshmallows for the third time in an hour—the answer will always be a yes if it means they stay happy.
And the homeschooling. Oh, the homeschooling. I mean what am I even complaining about? I’m barely even doing it. Trying to teach your six-year-old how to read the sentence “The big pig went out to dig to find his wig” when you have a four-year-old rambunctious boy and 18-month-old busy boy ruling the day. It’s just not going to happen. Some days I do squeeze in 20 min of teaching and I feel like a total rockstar!
But enough of the complaining right? I’m supposed to be loving every minute of quality family time with my sweet little cherubs. Ok, well you say that out loud but don’t lie to yourself. I know I will shout it to all of the other mothers out there “I NEED MY SPACE” and “BEDTIME CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH!”
And husband, I love you, but can you just sit over there while I read my book over here? Just for a minute ok? I just need one minute to myself then I can come back and give you all the attention ok? OK!
It’s all good. It is all good. We will get through this. We can do this! Just know, ladies, mothers, warriors, I feel ya and just know if you are feeling done the rest of us are so so so feeling it alongside you.