Remember when you unwound from the week with three martinis and a dance-off that lasted till 2 a.m.? Well, now that you’re a parent we are betting your “unwind time” looks a little different. Here are the ten luxuries that every parent wishes for.

Club MomMePhoto: Club MomMe

1. A bathroom security guard. 
A burly bouncer to stand outside the bathroom door and prevent anyone from barging in or shouting requests or grievances in the general direction of the sacred space.

2. A full-time broom operator.
They follow behind your brood 24 hrs a day sweeping up crumbs, cereal, pet fur and, yes, even splattered yogurt.

3. A bedtime genie. 
Your three wishes are “get in bed, go to sleep and stay asleep.” Granted.

4. An all-expenses paid night in a hotel.
All alone, with high thread-count sheets and an Ambien.

5. A birthday gift delivery app.
Just enter the party date, age, and birthday kid’s interest, and an all 24 birthday parties of your kids classmates are taken care of.

6. A personal chef who specializes in packed lunches.
You will never battle with bento boxes again.

7. A full interior car detail (carseat included).
They will remove Every. Single. Cheerio.

8. A professional photo organizer. 
They will open up IPhoto, and they won’t leave until everything is sorted by date and event, your children all have respectable, physical albums and there’s a back-up of it all on flash drives.

9. A butt-wiper. 
Self-explanatory.

10. An at-home masseuse.
One that won’t judge you for wanting to stream the new season of Orange is the New Black during the rub down.

What parental luxuries would you wish for? Tell us in the comments below!