I already know what you might say. You are already tearing your hair out, ready to throw in the towel on routines! It’s certainly easier than arguing with a teenager who’s lost motivation. Or, a first-grader who is having trouble understanding Singapore math—and you don’t know how to teach it!

So, I wanted to just come out and say—let’s stop any judgments. Right now. You never thought you had signed up to be your child’s teacher. In fact, you might even be a teacher but it’s a whole other ball game to teach your own children. 

What I am going to tell you is likely the opposite of what you might be hearing. You first need to acknowledge your frustration, your disappointment, and your fears around this virus, the situation, your lack of control and maybe even your anger! Stuffing it down won’t help. 

Okay not that this was nearly enough acknowledgment, I want to tell you where I started when I converted my entire business to online learning (ahem Zoom!) and share what we are learning as we navigate virtual learning with kids K-12.

First, if you and your kids are struggling with this new style of learning, it’s been a learning curve for the educators as well. What we are reminding our families is that this moment is a call for everyone to be more compassionate with ourselves. If teaching doesn’t come naturally don’t sweat it, you don’t have to be good at everything.

Listen, as a CEO I outsource everything, so when I am down a person—I always start hopeful at the beginning of the week and then somewhere around day four the panic sets in. My nerves feel frayed and I feel like a thousand people keep asking me the same questions! Does this sound familiar?

In fact, I have been hearing from a lot of our families that the experience has really shown people how hard teaching really is!  

 

Start Small and Make It a Family Affair

Have everyone pick their study spot. Then make it their routine learning space. Like picking a chair in school, this is their spot and they can organize it how they want. They have to keep it clean and organized and tidy and that is how they get to help you. Having this routine virtual learning space will help your child feel safe and secure. In fact, routine learning spaces help children relax and recall what they are learning better.

You want to create a school routine. Now it’s essential that you get your kids involved so they can feel “part of” the solution. The added benefit is that daily routines reduce chaos, decision making and simplify your day. They know where they need to be. Plus routines make children feel safe, especially in an ever-changing world. Routines make the world feel predictable, like a security blanket. Introducing a sleep schedule can also help regulate your child’s mood. Have you ever noticed that when your child doesn’t nap at the scheduled time, you have more meltdowns?  

It’s okay to play. Remember all that time you have been wanting to spend as a family. Guess what you got your wish (perhaps not in the best of circumstances but there is always a silver lining)! Tell your kids to put down the devices and head outside.

If you struggle with teaching, can your kids help participate in your day? Have everyone plant a garden together or cook together. A lesson doesn’t need to be elaborate, it just needs to be inclusive.

Make sure that you are scheduling regular intervals of “work” and “play.” Caitlin N, one of our instructors suggests taking regular “breaks” to keep the attention going. In fact for younger children, some of the learning may look like play! That is a good thing. Many children learn kinesthetically and through play.

Don’t forget to talk about their feelings. Paul M, another one of our executive functioning instructors, suggests touching base on how your kids are feeling about downtime or virtual learning. It’s a big sacrifice to put our community first and not get to play with their friends. If you have older kids, you might even be dealing with a lot of disappointment around missing major milestones. It’s okay to be sad. 

Then share how you are handling it making sure to stay away from talks about fears and anxiety. Your especially sensitive kids will latch onto the anxiety-like candy. Don’t let them go there. Feelings are catching so if you are struggling with positivity right now—my biggest tool with adults—write a gratitude list. It will help you ground your space and turn your attention to what is good. 

If you are having trouble getting your child back into a routine, the first couple of days might be harder but as your child does it more, the repetition becomes relaxing. Start with something simple like getting back into bedtimes, then restart school times, adding a little more each week. Just like tightening braces—we don’t do it all at once!

 

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