One of the biggest mistakes that some parents can make, in my opinion, is neglecting their relationship. When children come into the mix, so many of us put our relationship on the backburner, thinking it’s in the best interest of the kids. Not only does this put strain on your relationship, but it also has a negative impact on your kids as well.
Whether you are still with your children’s other parent, or in a new relationship, it is still important to nurture that relationship to set an example for your children. When they see two people who love each other through all of life’s trials, it sets the right example for them when it comes to their own relationships. They need to see you both putting in the effort to love each other day in and day out, no matter what. This will help them later on in life when they are facing hard times in their own relationships. This will show them that with patience and hard work, the right relationship can make it through anything.
Even if you do your fighting behind closed doors, away from your kids, they still know when there is tension. There is nothing wrong with occasional arguments, and they are inevitable, but deep rooted issues that keep arising are very hard to hide from anyone, let alone your kids. It’s no surprise that it is hard on them knowing that you and your significant other are at odds with one another. They may place the blame on themselves, and they may worry about an uncertain future.
When I was a kid, I loved seeing my parents happy with one another. It made me happy when they showed their love for each other, despite their arguments. There’s no doubt that I have carried that on to my relationship, and it has helped me through times when I didn’t know if I could work through even trivial arguments. I hope to pass this mentality on to my own children, so that they can have lasting, true relationships with the loves of their lives.
There’s no shame in seeking help in your relationship, either. We are all only human, and sometimes we are faced with issues that we don’t know how to go through on our own. Finding a relationship counselor can help you and your significant other work through your problems while finding better ways to communicate with each other. Do your research when choosing a counselor that is best for the both of you; this guide helps you determine how to pick the right counselor for your relationship. You both may have to swallow your pride, but its worth it isn’t it?
There are some relationships that are on a dead end road, however. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you have tried all you can and have gotten nowhere. In cases of infidelity and abuse, you may be better off, anyways. Just keep in mind that no relationship is perfect, and if you two genuinely love each other, there is always hope.
Your relationship is important to your kids, whether you can see it now or not. They want to see you happy, and they can sense when you’re not. You should always focus on your relationship first, because this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, even when your kids grow up and move on. Be honest with yourself and realize that you owe it to your kids to be happy, no matter what you have to do to achieve that happiness.