Valentine’s Day can often go perfectly right or horribly wrong. Whether you have unrealistic expectations from your partner or they are just a terrible gift giver, this collection of 29 bad valentines will have you considering a no-gift policy this Feb. 14. Keep reading to see all the bad Valentine’s Day gifts to stay away from this year.
1. Cheap flowers
"A plant with the discounted tag attached. You know the ones that live right next to the pretty flowers at the grocery store. yeah, that happened. He didn't last long." (via Jeanette K.)
2. Expired coupons
"An ex gave me an expired coupon to a restaurant that had shut down the only location in our area." (via Reddit user _generalmayhem)
3. Mermaids and diapers are related how?
"A little mermaid doll and adult diapers. I was pregnant, I guess my husband thought it would be funny." (via reader Michelle C.)
4. A talking bear.
"A Build-A-Bear from a guy I hadn’t been dating very long at all and wasn’t super into. He recorded himself saying 'I love you' and so when I squeezed the bear I heard his voice." (Dana F.)
5. Roses for somebody else.
"A dozen roses with a heartfelt love note signed 'to my one true love, Martine.' My name is not Martine." (via Reddit user ligamentary)
6. A garbage can (no, seriously).
"The ever so romantic metal trashcans with the step-on open feature! In his defense—he had the flu when he went out shopping. I'm sure they felt like a good idea in his fever-addled brain!" (via reader Carol S.)
7. A breakup email.
"My very first boyfriend used his ex-girlfriend to break up with me over email on Valentine's Day." (via Karly W.)
8. A flower with borrowed money.
"Somebody borrowed $2 from me to buy me a $2 flower." (via Reddit user tempuserthrowaway5)
9. Stuffed forest animals.
"A boyfriend once gave me a plush raccoon for Valentine's Day. I don't have a thing for raccoons—he thought it was cute, I guess. Nothing says 'I Love You' like rabid varmit! (via reader Amanda J.)
10. A confirmation of delivery, but no flowers.
“Once I ordered my girlfriend flowers that didn’t arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation. It was not as funny as I thought it would be.” (via Reddit user wacht).
11. A toilet seat (we swear).
"My dad gave my stepmom a toilet seat once for Valentine’s Day. He genuinely thought he had the best gift ever. This happened over five years ago and we still laugh at him about it.” But that’s not all, “It was the most generic toilet seat ever. Not even one of the ones that go down slowly.” (via Reddit user makingmc)
12. Jumper cables.
“When I was a kid, my dad gave my mom a set of jumper cables for Valentine’s Day.” As it turns out the story has a happy ending. “He was in the doghouse for a couple of nights, but about a week later her battery dies and dad was a hero again.” (via Reddit user Soon2Barmn)
13. An oversized tank top.
You know, the ones once known by the horribly offensive moniker "wife beater? It was meant to be used as a dress, I kid you not!" (via reader Silvia Rodríguez)
"My husband (then boyfriend) once gave me a picture frame filled with his hair... he thought it would be romantic, but I didn't agree!" (via reader Annie W.)
15. Dental hygiene products.
A tongue scraper as a Valentine’s Day gift? There are endless things to do together that don’t involve removing “tongue fur.” Eww.
16. The gift representing exactly the opposite of who you are.
"My boyfriend at the time took me to dinner, and then surprised me with a horse-drawn carriage ride. Total fail because 1. it was cold and I'm Southern (I don't do sub-50 degree weather well), and 2. I hate the horse-drawn carriage industry. We didn't make it past March." (via Shelley M.)
17. It's your funeral (literally).
This ad takes the “til death do we part” idea a step beyond what the vow intends. We’re pretty sure that’s the least romantic gift ever. (via Reddit user slothzero)
18. A heart made out of meat (that you can eat).
You’re all for getting a gift that’s from the heart. But what about meat? Yep, that’s right. Meat. Apparently, you can buy your sweetheart a raw steak shaped like a heart. Yum.
19. Any type of cleaning tool, supply or appliance.
A weed whacker! (via reader Krista F.)
20. Bad news.
"A text breaking up with me." (via Reddit user hippopots)
21. A hair trimmer and photocopied card.
"My dad got my mum a hair trimmer set and photocopied her card she got him one year. They celebrate their 25th anniversary this year so maybe it's a good one." (via Reddit user UnofficialKing)
22. Cards referencing bodily functions.
Yeah, maybe you're cool with it. But you don't need to be reminded. Or do you? There's more where this one came from.
23. Someone else's scent
"I’m pretty sure it has to be the bottle of really old perfume I’m pretty sure was his mom's." (via reader Denise R.).
24. E-Z Divorce
"Not quite the gift I had in mind for my first Valentine's Day." (via Reddit user SSJWiggy)
25. Weird Food
"A box of Kashi cereal." (via reader Carlly L.), "A can of sardines." (via reader Cora E.), "Deviled eggs. Yes, I said, deviled eggs." (via reader Andrea P.)
26. A jewelry box ... but
"A fancy jewelry box ... and the comment 'don't get excited ... it's not a ring or anything.'" (via reader Amy L.)
27. The most boring gifts ever.
"My husband gave me a beanie. And a plain black coffee mug." (via Amber G.)
28. An empty box of chocolates.
"He told me that he bought it, and there was coconut in all of them (there never is), and that he had to eat them to keep me from having an allergic reaction (I'm allergic to coconut). So really, he said, 'for Valentine's Day I saved your life.' It didn't last long after that." (via reader Lindsey R.)
29. Nothing at all.
"The first Valentine's Day after we were engaged, I said to my now-husband, 'so we aren't doing gifts for Valentine's Day, right?' He said, 'well, maybe just something small.' I followed this rule and got him an engraved money clip. Turns out, his "small" really meant "nothing." Which I would have been fine with but HE SET THE RULES!" (via Kate L.)
––Erica Loop & Karly Wood
Featured image: Earl Wilcox via Unsplash