Photo: Michal Jarmoluk

As a former neat freak and now as a mom, I always feel like giving myself a huge pat on the back for successfully cleaning my house because half the time, there are little tornados following behind me creating destruction over my nicely cleaned space. As any mom knows that clean house never seems to last very long with those little tornados around.

On those occassions like today where I manage to clean up our house of not only the scattered toys, food, and whatever else is hiding in those piles across my house, but also managed to mop the floor, scrub the bathrooms, wash the sheets, dust away the dust bunnies, and even scrub the windows I feel like enforcing five particular post spring cleaning rules throughout my house in order to feel like that whole day’s worth of work wasn’t a wasted effort. These are my five rules I would like to enforce in dream mommy land.

1. Children, you are not allowed to play with toys, crayons, or anything. You need to just sit there like perfect little children that I dream about you being.

2. No one, and I mean no one, is allowed to shit in the tiolet for at least a day. I just stuck my hand in that thing to make it shine so have a little respect for the effort. (Yes, this one is rule #2 for a reason so you will not forget!)

3. We cannot eat in our home for a few days. All food must be consumed outside where the critters can eat your crumbs because I think I just swept a whole meal up in crumbs.

4. There is no sex allowed on those freshly washed linens.

5. Everyone needs to wear the same clothes for the next few days all day, even to bed, and dry off with them out of the shower because it takes DAYS to catch up all that laundry.

Now if our little charges all could follow these rules mommy maid will go enjoy a few days off in her now wonderfully cleaned house.

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