Kids are natural comedians so why not encourage them to get punny with these kid-approved quips that require little to no explanation from parents. Just don’t be surprised when the comedy sketch goes beyond today! Scroll down for our silliest and corniest jokes yet.

brothers kids laughing

photo: Enoch Lai via flickr

1. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

2. Why can’t Elsa have balloon?

Because she will let it go.


3. How do you make an octopus laugh?

With ten-tickles!

4. How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

5. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting pirate.

Interrupting piryarrrrrr!

6. What did the nose say to the finger?

Quit picking on me!

7. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?

A tuba toothpaste.

8. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

Because he wanted to go to high school.

9. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?

A blood orange.

10. What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

11. What do you call a dog magician?

A labracadabrador.

12. Where do pencils go for vacation?


13. Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?

He was a little hoarse.

14. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

He had no body to dance with.

15. What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel.

16. What do you call two bananas?


And speaking of bananas…

17. Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling well.

19. What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

20. What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?  

A stamp.

21. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

22. What kind of award did the dentist receive?

A little plaque.

23. What do you call a funny mountain?


24. Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

25. Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use a honeycomb.

26. What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi, bud!

27. Why was the picture sent to jail?

It was framed.

28. Where do rabbits go after they get married?

On a bunny-moon!

29. What sound do porcupines make when they hug?


30. Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

31. What did one wall say to the other wall?

I’ll meet you at the corner.

32. What do lawyers wear to court?


33. What kind of hair do oceans have?


34. What’s black & white and read all over?

A newspaper. (Okay, this one might require explanation for digital-aged kids).

35. And, what is black, white and green all over?

A pickle in a tuxedo.

36. What time is it if an elephant sits on the fence?

Time to fix the fence! 

37. What part of your body can cause the end of the world?

Your apoco-lips (AJ, age 8!)

38. What do you call an old snowman?


39. Why didn’t the orange win the race?

It ran out of juice.

40. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?  

The thesaurus.

41. What did one DNA strand say to the other DNA strand?

Do these genes make my butt look big?

42. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

They have two left feet.

43. What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?

Owwwww-ch! (by Henrik, age 5)

44. Kid: What are you doing under there?

Mom: Under where?

Kid: Ha ha! You said underwear!!

45. Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly.

46. What did one toilet say to the other? 

You look flushed.

47. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

48. What word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary?


49. How do pickles enjoy a day out?

They relish it.

50. Mom: Does your underwear have holes in it?

Kid: Of course not!

Mom: Then how do you get your legs in them?

What’s your kid’s best joke? Share in the comments below! 

—Amber Guetebier with Wendy Guetebier, Dina Petterson, Henrik Pelto and Alix Benedict and readers like you!