Traditionally, Mother’s Day is the only 24-hour period in which a thankless job is praised indefinitely. Or so we hope. While we all love to believe, we celebrate the dedicated women in our lives—Mothers, Grandmother’s, Aunts, etc—on a daily basis, the truth is we don’t. How could we? We are all wrapped up in our own lives; attempting to build and provide, ironically enough, in the way in which our Mother’s taught us. While Father’s provide, Mother’s nurture and encourage. The 3am feedings, skinned knees, endless laundry, and comforting while sick are all Mom. The number of little things Mother’s do for their families would never fit on even the most detailed of job descriptions. Mothers truly are the jack of all trades.

The most amazing part? You can ask any Mother, new or veteran, exhausted or perfectly rested, if they would do it all over again and they will emphatically respond, “Yes!”. The sacrifice of body, time and sleep never outweighs the love they have for their child(ren). The very things we complain about are also the little things we find so endearing and memorable. We live for first smiles, little fingers reaching up to hold our hands and random hugs and kisses. Messy days, playful days and all those in between are what make our job the most challengingly pleasurable in the world.

But, like any other job where you work hard and are dedicated, we too need and deserve a break. While we can’t clock out at 5pm or take an annual two-weeks paid vacation, Mother’s Day is the one day in which partners, spouses and family members can vocalize those unspoken thank you’s, shower us with love (or actually just let us shower in peace) and show their appreciation of all we have given of ourselves. Now, don’t let this commercialized holiday fool you.

The desires of a Mother’s heart are pretty simple if you take the time to think about it. I mean, what other types of women would be so happy over a small human using the appropriate toilet? It’s the small things in life that get us! So in the spirit of celebrating Mom’s (and not the Martha Stewart-type mom, I mean the real, working, stressed, still-attempting-to-lose-the-baby-weight, runs on wine and coffee Mom), I have spoken with my Mom friends and compiled a list of what we actually want come Mother’s Day…you’re welcome!!!

We want to live like we used to: This includes basic life essentials like uninterrupted sleep, a shower alone and using the restroom without fingers under the door or intruders in costumes.

ADVERTISEMENT

A day to live like we did before we had children and/or partners. Yup, you heard me right we don’t want to be around you.

We want to go to a hotel with black out shades, room service, and a maid. If you can’t get a hotel, organize a way in which you are the one waking up with the kids so we can get a few extra hours of shut-eye. Or better yet, plan an excursion outside of the house so we can have several hours to ourselves in our bed…for free.

We want to be pampered: Massages, facials, nails—the works! Allow us to look our best so we can feel our best. Partners don’t quite understand the tool motherhood takes on the body and how much confidence plays a factor into our overall mood. Give us a day at the spa and I promise, we’d come home a new woman. If you can’t afford a spa, jojoba oil can be purchased at any local pharmacy, Pinterest massage techniques or enlist your children to help!

We want to be well-fed: You know what goes amazing with a full night’s sleep? Breakfast in bed with a side of Mimosa’s or a Bloody Mary. Cook (or order in) our favorite meal or breakfast items. Enlist the kiddo’s to sweeten the bedside delivery. While we love our alone time, nothing beats the sticky fingers and smiling faces of the little beings we created.

We want to be thought of: We want to be told how amazing we are! Duh. Have the kids make cards and write down their favorite things about us. Create a picture collage to music. And of course, please share your adoration and love on all social media outlets. Seriously, lay it on heavy. Tell me I am the greatest Mom in the world and only Mary, Mother of Jesus, could top me. My ego needs this. Also…THIS IS FREE!

We want to be celebrated: After we have had hours of “alone” time, organize a celebration as a family. Cook together, BBQ, picnic, go to a museum, plan a night out to dinner; whatever it is that you feel like we would not only enjoy but make us feel special. And sometimes that gesture of celebration is simply leaving us alone to reflect and appreciate our families. As a disclaimer I will say, if you’ve offered us alone time and we accept without hesitation, do not get offended. Sometimes peace and quiet is exactly what we need to feel immensely loved and appreciated because it shows you are putting our needs first.

We want Girl Time: Girl-time, by definition, is not a play date. Nor is it when we run errands with our children and girlfriends. Girl time requires thought, planning and alcohol with our nearest and dearest with neither our spouses or children anywhere in sight. Connect with our friends and their partners (mothers or not) and plan a girl’s night for us. Organize something for the dads to do with the kids and you boys go on a play date, while we sip wine…poolside.  (I vote for this one!)

I am positive that one, or all, of these items, will give your wife, mom or partner the best Mother’s Day of her life. Show appreciation for the woman she is and the mother she is. Express your gratitude for all she does. Show understanding of her sacrifice of self-care, sleep, and relaxation for the better of your family.

I have the privilege of being the founder of an organization called BAD (Building A Dream) Moms—a platform for moms both new and seasoned to share love, support, ideas, and philanthropy. Day in and day out, our tribe of mother’s help our children build their dreams while supporting each other in maintaining our sanity. The above sentiments and ideas come from Moms who live life for their children and partners. As the backbone of our families, this holiday is one in which we are able to celebrate the title that we are most proud of.

And with that will someone please pour me a glass of champagne!

Happy Mother’s Day to all my fellow BAD-ass Mom’s…enjoy your day!